Ash.
@hey_ashiwel
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CX consultant. Co-founder at @smallbigchops . Lover of books, art, design, and the Japanese aesthetic. Sometimes, a shallow void looking for depth.
Lagos. Abuja. Calabar. Obudu.
Joined June 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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This is that content I signed up for. This is the kind of useless awesomeness I love!
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This is actually how the president of Ukraine started a presentation! I'm in tears, bro! 😂😄
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I need scented candle that will also work as a mosquito killer. Does this exist?
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Americans are weird.
I remember a few years back how people in one state—don't recall which—voted in a referendum to triple minimum wage for restaurant workers, and restaurant workers fought the increase back to the previous minimum wage because they were afraid of losing tips.
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Still one of the most accurate depictions of Lagos I've had the fortune to photograph.
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Dolly Parton: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeneeeee...
12 Year Old Me: I'm begging of you please don't take my maaaaaan...
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The guy probably went to think about his life after the old man left.
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All I took from this is that even our Lord and Savior could only manage a 10% conversion rate.
Let your marketing team breath.
Jesus fed the 5,000 but only 500 followed him after lunch. He had 12 disciples but only 3 prayed with him in the garden before his arrest. Then, only 1 stood with him at the cross. The closer you get to the cross, the smaller the crowd becomes
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This is one of the most incredible things I have ever read on the internet!
Goodness!
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Dr. Tony Rapu talking about barrenness and the multiple ways that God fixes it:
"... through medical intervention, or IVF, or through adoption..."
It warms my heart.
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I've spent the last 30 minutes cry-laughing at this video! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Frame 2.
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Today's rant: burying a loved one in Lagos.
In Yaba, it's ₦4.5 million for a grave. Want to cover up the ugly bare concrete with some marble? That's an extra ₦2.2 million.
Small print: price excludes funeral services and incidentals like a hearse, casket, pallbearers, etc.
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Rainy mornings are for cuddling, but carton of Huggies is now ₦54,000.
I shall henceforth be referring to my wife as sis.
Please step away from the bed, sis.
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Watch the CNN investigation that proves that the
#LekkiMassacre
did indeed happen.
#EndSARS
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Haaaaayyyy God!! Is this not the "die on the line" guy?!!! Look at God!
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If my child even thinks for a brief second of —
1. Charging her aunt,
2. To babysit her cousin,
3. In the middle of a family emergency...
Man, I've failed as a parent!
Reddit is saying she’s not the asshole for this and the teenager lacks empathy but how are you gonna ask someone who does this for a living to do it and then be surprised when they ask about their pay?
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Found it!
Maine tried to raise its minimum wage. Restaurant workers didn’t want it.
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I provide my own light, water, transportation, food, housing, security, healthcare. I inspire myself
I am my own hero.
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I want to ask this genuinely, because I am sincerely confused!
What do Lekki property Developers have against grass and trees?
Is Aliko paying you people a comission for all that concrete? Explain it to me slowly. Please.
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1. Forbes decided Kylie whoever is not a billionaire because she and her family lied to everyone about their finances.
Seems to me like just another regular day of white women doing their thing.
2. A lot of people called bullshit and were called haters.
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Guess who came home?
Going to need past questions for school fees Twitter.
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Because we are all in this together. Can't come and be trying to escape the suffering. Very disloyal.
I'm still confused as to why attempted suicide is a criminal offense in Nigeria. Please enlighten me.
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This is too much work to be honest. I just want to fucking say my vows and go home and lie on the couch. There's no need to be a video vixen!
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Bruh, I'm not even crying right now! This is the most uplifting thing I've ever seen! 😭
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Companies quick to tell you about their EMEA team. Meanwhile, the A does not exist, and the ME is clearly Dubai.
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"So is the baby!" had me in stitches; but when he asked if the baby paid extra to yell, I lost it! 😂😂😂😂
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Your own is to be claiming people upandan social media. But if Nnamdi had gotten in trouble and reached out to you for help, you would ask him what he was doing there; you'll say your hands are tied. But you're here claiming him without contributing a single thing to his life!
Yes, Nnamdi won a seat into Delaware state legislature. However , he is African American . (He has a twin brother ) He married a lovely Nigerian ( Igbo ) lady , believes he is Nigerian based on his. DNA, and changed his name to a fully Nigerian name. So , yes we can claim him😂
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But can he eat shaki with his hands and not stain his shirt? Can he tell if the Agege bread is fresh? Can he?
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1. Data Analyst.
2. Operations Analyst
3. Designer
4. Monitoring & Evaluation Analyst
You're looking for an intern to do four full time jobs, on the wages of an intern and the benefits of a temp.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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Madam please. You were out here the other day interviewing a thug who's been accused of denying Nigerians the right to vote in people who can lead this nation into power and prosperity; and you didn't ask the man one single question about it.
My dream is that Nigeria builds herself into the biggest, most powerful, prosperous nation of black people on earth.
That way, the negotiations will be about power, which is the language of the world.
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Stopped by Game at the Palms yesterday for water, and apps, they're having a closing sale.
Empty shelves, 40% discounts, etc. Staff said they couldn't reach an agreement with Nigerian investors who wanted to buy them out.
It's depressing.
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Today's lesson: never put your suya and your wife's suya in the same bowl. Rookie mistake.
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South Africans started a space to convince each other — and the rest of us — that they aren't xenophobic.
Then the xenophobia started leaking out.
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This is one if the reasons why people go in on Mother's Day but barely observe Father's Day.
Be a present father.
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Someone raised $303 million at a $4.5 billion valuation to sell okrika!
Father Lord!
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Someone sent me this video of some oyinbo dude kayaking in Lekki. Fam, I'm cry laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭
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Spent a crap ton of money on toys only for this...THIS...to become my child's favorite toy.
Toddlers are annoying!
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I hate Nigerians. Why is a restaurant called Petit Paris serving isiewu and nkwobi? 😑
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Hey guys! launched into beta today in Lagos.
It's a platform for finding *trained* and *vetted* artisans on demand.
Laborhack artisans clean up after themselves, and Laborhack will rectify the issue for free if the first artisan did a poor job.
Pls RT.
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Just saw the most hilarious thing! World leaders WhatsApp group chat the day before Trump's inauguration 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Well done.
Big Brother,
@SirJarus
, during these trying times, may Allah come to your aid, guide you, grant you patience, and direct your affairs better than human imaginations. Aameen.
Indeed, only Allah is As-salam, may He grant you the most needed peace at this time. Aameen.
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To all international and local news outlets, if you want to know what the
#EndSARS
protests by young people in Nigeria are about; we have a website where you can read our stories and see images from the protests. Go here:
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I've read the policy documents of both the APC and the PDP.
Something that struck me: the APC is appealing to the masses with its manifesto. It's shorter and the better designed of two poor designs.
The PDP's intended audience appears to be businesses and the educated class.
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@paulg
@lolaloveandart
You're shifting the goalposts, chief. Your original 'delve' tweet wasn't about a tweet!
It was about a formal email you received, where you judged (and dismissed) the sender for using a word that is part of the everyday vocabulary of a considerable number of people globally.
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T'Challa appears on the Black Jeopardy game show. SNL is so unhinged! 😂
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What if you wanted to bury your loved one in Ikoyi so you don't have to travel hours to visit their grave?
Prices start at ₦20,000,000 and can run as high as ₦50,000,000.
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@Kayodeine
That's a fair point. I don't think people are necessarily against tips or tipping in general. Nigerians, for example, will tip you just for hailing them.
All the umbrage comes from people bristling at a compulsory percentage, and the sense of entitlement that drives it.
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Just confirmed that this works in Lagos, and they answered the phone promptly too.
Hopefully the response times are just as quick.
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Guys, I need to name 21 streets, and I'd like to name them after some of the undercelebrated women in Nigeria's history. Suggestions?
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Still one of the most hair-raising hakas to ever be danced! Still gives me goosebumps every time! Still makes me want to rush into battle and rip the enemy to shreds for daring to speak my name!
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If
@mamaamuwo
is your mother, tell her we said she doesn't have sense and her UK education was, evidently, a waste of money.
Also, tell her we know how to recall our representatives when they stop having sense.
"They (Nigerian youths) are high on drugs all the time, most of them. They go to social media to do all sorts of things." - Lagos lawmaker, Mojisola Alli-Macauley, on recent events in the state.
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