This is fuckin' funny

Calvin’s unconventional approach to cleanliness. 🛁😆 #CalvinAndHobbes #BathTime

BRILLIANT

Dear brain-damaged neomarxists: I'd like to thank you for this picture. I realize it will bring you no joy, but I'd like to thank you anyway. You tried to cancel me, it didn't work, this is what happened instead. I could go on to tell you what I think of you, but I don't need to. You're already sad, angry, scared, and confused. Instead, I'm going to tell you why this happened. I realize you won't listen, or learn anything, but I want to be on record as at least having given you the opportunity. 1. Your political viewpoint is unpopular. It may not seem that way, because you hang out with other people who share it, but in the makeup of America, and the west, as a whole, you are a small minority. 2. This unpopularity is your own fault. It is a direct consequence of things you did and said because of your political views. 3. The majority is, in fact, so angry at you that they are automatically disposed to like and support anyone you hate or denounce. In short, your public image is so poor that you are an asset to your enemies and a liability to your friends. So how did it get this way? What did you do? Well, you overplayed your hand. You went too far. Here's how. When I was in child, in elementary school, in the 1980s, I was told in class that the USA was a "melting pot"... an alloy of different racial and cultural origins, blended together into something unique, new, and stronger. E pluribus, unum. I shrugged and thought "okay". It wasn't a slam dunk argument, but it seemed to be working all right. The 80s were pretty nice. The streets were clean and not full of bums. The economy was doing well. America was respected throughout the world. We were beating communism. Then, in the early 90s, as I stopped being a child and started being a young man, I started to hear a different line of argument. Certain people started saying it was insufficient for the United States to be a melting pot, an alloy. And that it was wrong to expect newcomers to change their ways and join this hybrid culture. No, the United States was now expected to be "multicultural", meaning that the USA, unlike any other country in the world, was supposed to be a legal and economic entity only, without any set of unifying customs or values. This didn't seem like a very good idea to me. You see, I'd begun working my way through the works of Kurt Vonnegut, and, having finished "Cat's Cradle", I was familiar with his concept of what he called a "granfalloon", a fanciful word for an association of people that only exists because they believe it does. Now, Vonnegut, being of a left-leaning persuasion, appears to have unironically believed that granfalloons are meaningless, unnecessary, and just generally bad, but it was quite clear to me that if he believed this, he was naive and dangerously wrong. Without granfalloons, people end up killing each other. With them, they can not only live in peace together, but collaborate on projects to advance their tribe. The benefits of this frequently leak out to all humanity in time. So, at the age of 18, and certainly not in any position to be listened to over the voice of a famous literature guy like Vonnegut, I decided nonetheless that I thought the act of chipping away at the foundation of the American identity was a bad idea. But the left was very keen on this project, and the argument they used was anti-racism. Now, in the "melting pot" model, too much racism was held to be a bad thing. Can't make steel if the carbon, vanadium, molybdenum, and iron keep fighting. So the basic assumption that "racism is bad" could be pressed into service to support multiculturalism, by characterizing any expectation of a common American culture as "racist"... because someone was being expected to abandon or alter some part of their ancestral or cultural beliefs and practices, and replace them with American equivalents. The argument was that American practices were distinctly white, and therefore expecting anyone to favor them over the practices of another culture was held to privileging white customs over non-white customs, ergo racism. In order to push this line of reasoning, despite its obvious logical flaws, the concept of racism had to be altered. First of all, since privileging non-white practices over white ones is, logically, just as racist as the reverse, a new definition of racism had to be formed, which excluded racial bigotry against white people. This was invented by creating the rationalization that racism isn't just bigotry, it's bigotry plus power. This could then be coupled with the pretense that, in all and any situations, whites always had more power than non-whites. Once this was accomplished, racism had to be made out not to be simply bad, not simply a sort of odious personal habit like talking in movie theaters, but the worst possible evil. This was done by creating a moral stance on racism which was based on the furthest extremes of it (genocide), but a semantic definition of it based on the subtlest and most subjective interpretations of it... what's called "microaggressions". This propaganda machine slowly ground on the point where any deviance from the latest left-wing ideas on race (subject to change every 2-3 years) was interpreted as literal yearning for genocide. This whole propaganda move was successful in the short term, because US taxpayer dollars were being misdirected to fund mass media which pushed this worldview. But the problem with astroturf is that it just shuts people up without actually changing their minds. So now you had a whole class of people who had censored off public media for decades, while that same media was suborned into lecturing them about whiteness as original sin, and how America alone was not supposed to have any unified culture or command any patriotism or allegiance. And, of course, what happened is exactly what 18-year-old me predicted... the unraveling of the American identity, accompanied by increased social conflict, economic decline, and even physical strife. I wasn't the only one to spot this, of course. All of the people who were being censored, and cast out with weaponized accusations of racism, could see the cause and effect. And they got angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for decades. Angry at you for damaging their country, which used to be a really nice place to live. And sooner or later, they were always going to figure out that your leftist cultural hegemony was fake. Astroturf. Smoke and mirrors. Imposed from the top down. They would inevitably figure out that they weren't alone. Or outnumbered. Or even matched. That they were the majority. So that's where we are. The normal people have figured out that they are the normal people, and they are furious at you. And I'm quite pleased that you accidentally told them that the best way to express this rage was to give me money... But what's actually important is that we are finally done with all this nonsense. I realize you're very sad, and angry, and scared, and frustrated right now. But I have no sympathy for you. You've been acting like selfish assholes for decades. What the hell did you expect?

Belly up.