hammy
@hannymarie123
Followers
370
Following
234
Media
740
Statuses
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zac efron is slowly morphing into all the utah boys that are trying to ruin my life
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shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and get a bachelors degree despite your fair share of challenges
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don’t any of you forget that Rami Malek was in Twilight: Breaking Dawn part II
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I present to you the *evolved* Provo All-Star
VASA:out
Skateparks:in
Bro tanks tanks:out
Thrift store jeans: in
Mitt Romney: out
‘I see myself as moderate’:in
Listening to Chainsmokers:out
Creating cultivated Spotify playlists: in
Macklemore haircut: out
Long greasy hair: in
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the reason I'm taking so long to graduate is so I never have to pay full price for Spotify
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life is just buying groceries, letting them rot in your fridge, throwing them away then buying new groceries again and again until you die
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Kocoum:
Cool ass name
Fiercely loyal
Protects Pocahontas at all cost
Hot
Has heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
John Smith:
Boring ass name
Calls natives ‘savages’
Rips Pocahontas from her people
Looks like a frat boy
Has never heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
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deleted my instagram... how am I suppose to let everyone know I got my hair done yesterday??
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kind of like girls on Instagram asking ‘ask me a question’ but me calling my mom at 4am asking if I am loved and cherished and if she can take me to Costco on Thursday
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idk whose child needs to hear this but....
clean the lint trap in your dryer
also you are spectacular don’t let anybody bring you down
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sneaking a hydroflask full of skim milk and a pack of single stuffed Oreos into the movie theater tonight
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why do white men love taking pics of their beard as they shave it off one patch at a time, testing various styles
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it’s only a matter of time before gen z starts wearing these and calling it ‘vintage’
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hitler: what’s the move tonight
hitlers girlfriend: let’s stay in and watch a movie
hitler: ok, let me slip into something Mein Kampfortable :)
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hello 911, yes, the guy sitting next to me on the airplane took his shirt off and then fell asleep, what do I do ?
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I’m not compleatly sure what ‘insurance’ is and at this point I’m too afraid to ask
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no🚫regrets‼️
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rich kids really be using notre dame burning down as an excuse to post study abroad pics ://///
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how dare joe jonas get engaged, I mean I thought we had something?? August 10th 2008???? Don't you remember??
@joejonas
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the most confusing part of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is WHY Matthew McConaughey speaks with a southern accent when he's from LONG ISLAND!
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I am one heartbreak away from giving up on everything and becoming a beekeeper
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I can’t believe I went through such a long ugly phase to still have a terrible personality
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me & my girls when something he said 2 weeks ago just don't add up
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if you say you’ve never had a crush on Riley from National Treasure, you’re lying
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how can we have a happy new year when Kony 2012 is still out there
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nvm, just found out you have to have sex to get pregnant. I change my mind.
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I am one mental breakdown away from getting realllyy into crystals
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I’m aggressively trying to get wifed up by a contractor so we can quickly start a house flipping tv show together
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list of men I trust:
Guy Fieri
the guy from the Allstate commercials with the voice
Braden Packard
Vick of Vick’s NyQuil
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The most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done was wear cowboy boots to my senior prom. Will God ever forgive me?
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HOW DOES ONE BECOME A 'travel blogger' WITH NO MONEY OR MARKETABLE SKILLS? (Asking for myself)
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Lots of dating prospects :) can't wait to see what the future holds!!
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when a woman 👩🏼🦳 is filled with the Lord her true beauty shines through 💫
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oops I did *it again
*fell in love with someone who lives in another country who I have absolutely no chance with
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voldemort really was trynna square up with a bunch of 11 year olds
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I haven’t acomplished anything real since I played Crazy Train perfectly on expert on guitar hero in the 8th grade
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slowly eating my roommates food then going to the grocery store to replace it before they notice is my favorite extreme sport
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my roommate took a panorama of her room to sell her housing contract and almost posted this on the housing Facebook page...and.....
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I really hope my made up boyfriend I put in my myspace profile bio at age 13 is having a good day today
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@shayla_who
The legend herself ✨ we love this story about her because it accurately represents her sense of humor. She is still a problem-solving bad ass!
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please santa.... its been 4 years
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mom: you’re going to have to break down your walls if you want genuine love and affection
me:
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Forget yalls Joe Bidens and Justin Trudeaus and holla at young Dieter F. Uchtdorf!!!!
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how do they expect us to unite as a country, if they won’t unite their lips??
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the rumors going around about me being smart, cool and funny are 100% true
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dm me if you want to join my new band we’re called the Red Hot Peruvian Puff Peppers
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went on a d8 tonight and he didn't understand a single one of my meme references :/
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