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gwendolyn richards

@gwendolynmr

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Calgary-based writer with a passion for patent shoes, red lipstick, bourbon and burgers. Author of the cookbook Pucker. she/her/hers

Calgary, Alberta
Joined October 2008
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Filling out forms for a mammogram and had to indicate how I know I’m not pregnant. Circled “no male partner” as a reason and then realized that it does not think what I initially thought it did. 😅
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
While others sweat how many exclamation marks they can use in a message, I'm doing it with em dashes.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Well, that escalated quickly.
@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
So very here for this rain.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
So very here for this rain.
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@devancoggan
Devan Coggan
2 years
This is psychotic, but I reject the notion that she wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between half Coke, half Diet Coke. True Diet Coke addicts are like the finest sommeliers: We can tell you whether our Diet Coke came from a can/bottle/fountain, purely by taste.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Ready for "claw my eyes out" season to end.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
I can’t tell you how insanely envious I am of people who don’t have an inner monologue. It’s like being followed by the world’s most boring and yet critical narrator.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
A prayer for AB journalists today. May the results be swift and the pizza delicious.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
The smoke here is awful. But all I can think about is those fighting or fleeing the fires. (And the budget cuts to fire crews and health care that are surely stinging right now.)
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Wordle 694 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Oh. My. God. Worldle in one. I’m going to have to stop playing now.
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@paddyjoeboyle
Patrick Boyle
2 years
It’s too big.
@KrisReports
Kris Pangilinan
2 years
#BREAKING: Canada has unveiled a new design to the Canadian Passport. It will be rolled out this summer. It’s not red.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
I love language so much! This thread ... I didn't even know any of this.
@MerriamWebster
Merriam-Webster
2 years
Hey ding-dongs, let’s have a chit-chat about Ablaut reduplication. If you have three words, the order usually goes 'I-A-O.' tic-tac-toe If there are only two words, ‘I’ is the first and the second is either ‘A’ or ‘O.’ click-clack King-Kong
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Just drinking tea out of my good china while listening to classical music and marking papers like the old lady I am.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
I don't always have breakfast (don't @ me), but today, when I have to fast until noon, all I can think about is all the things I want to eat right now.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
This happened to me last week! I even included commas. And then I apologized for doing it and kept going with the voicemail, but then kept verbally punctuating it anyway.
@bonebrokemefix
BoneDoc
2 years
I just left a voicemail for a patient and at the end of each sentence I said “period” like I was dictating it.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Taxes paid. GST paid. Heading into the weekend feeling very responsible.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
After a six-week hiatus, I can confirm that putting on liquid eyeliner is NOT "just like riding a bike." #raccooneyes
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
Elevator maintenance for the next three days so I guess I’m not leaving my 7th-floor apartment until Friday.
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@gwendolynmr
gwendolyn richards
2 years
I want cake.
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@Austen1stDrafts
Jane Austen First Drafts
2 years
I don’t know about this new Twitter policy…
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