Zero productivity. Zero motivation. Tired easily.
I go through these. And all I'll want to do is lay in bed, do nothing, and just exist.
I felt lazy, but as time passed, I noticed it was burnout.
Before picking a partner know this
1. You'll keep entering into problematic relationships if you don't work on your peace and self-esteem.
2. No relationship can cure your depression. This is something you have to decide to come out of.
Burnout is a feeling of negative physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion that comes from stress and your inability to cope with it.
Burnout is common, so it's important you know the signs and what to do about it.
Here's some signs you're burnt out and not lazy
You feel disconnected from everything
If everyday feels like you're on autopilot, and are detached from yourself,
You feel empty and it's like you're watching life from a third party, but can't help yourself.
You might be burnt out.
Before picking a partner know this
1. You'll keep entering into problematic relationships if you don't work on your peace and self-esteem.
2. No relationship can cure your depression. This is something you have to decide to come out of.
The Pleaser
These ones grew up around critical and over protective parents.
They grow up trying to be good and on their best behavior to not provoke their parents.
They never receive comfort but always try to comfort the reactive parent.
You used to be motivated.
Lazy people never take action, or never applied themselves to things.
But if you were high achieving and self motivated before your current lapse in energy, then you might just be burnt out.
How to treat burn outs
- Recognize it.
- Listen to your body.
- Take a break from the stressor.
- Exercise.
- Sleep.
- Drink Water (lots of it).
- Figure out if you're in sync with your goals.
You used to be passionate
You can't call yourself lazy if you were passionate about things in the past. Could be in sports, your talents, or academics.
You may even start to hate it because of how much you overworked yourself. And thus extending the lapse.
Pleasers can't handle conflict and may be dishonest, just to avoid confrontation
Once pleasers feel like they're letting their partners down, they have a breakdown and flee from the relationship
They spread themselves thin trying to please everyone - even when it's unrealistic.
Always tired? Difficulty concentrating? Sleeping too little or too much?
This could be signs of a mental breakdown.
Mental breakdown happens when an overwhelming amount of stress affects your performance.
Here are some signs.
Most people feel stuck, lost and directionless.
For others they avoid their childhoods because it holds serious pain.
But the key to gaining self-mastery, freedom and moving forward is by studying your childhood.
The Pleaser
These ones grew up around critical and over protective parents.
They grow up trying to be good and on their best behavior to not provoke their parents.
They never receive comfort but always try to comfort the reactive parent.
Our childhood affects us in more ways than we think.
How we react to things. Our self-beliefs. How we express ourselves are all formed as early as we can make sense of our environment.
Based on our upbringing, we have various love styles. Here are five of them:
For pleasers to build a healthy relationship, they have to be honest about their feelings.
And create boundaries. Rather than doing what everyone expects.
You start feeling irritable.
If you start to feel emotionally out of control - when this was never the case - then this is a sign of burn out.
Lazy people in comparison, are unaffected by things.
Be teachable.
I catch myself getting defensive when I'm corrected.
But if you want to grow wiser, you should be open to learning from the more experienced people.
Fulfillment in adulthood comes from knowing your childhood because most of your identity is formed there.
You've spent countless hours with your parents and this has affected your approach to work, relationships, success and self-belief.
The Avoider.
They grow up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-reliance.
They learn to take care of themselves early.
And put their feelings on hold to deal with their anxieties of having no comfort from their parents.
The Vacillator
They grow up with unpredictable parents. And learned that their needs are not their parent's top priority.
They developed a fear of abandonment because they had no consistent affection from their parents.
Pleasers can't handle conflict and may be dishonest, just to avoid confrontation
Once pleasers feel like they're letting their partners down, they have a breakdown and flee from the relationship
They spread themselves thin trying to please everyone - even when it's unrealistic.
Always tired? Difficulty concentrating? Sleeping too little or too much?
This could be signs of a mental breakdown.
Mental breakdown happens when an overwhelming amount of stress affects your performance.
Here are some signs.
They feel more emotional stress because of their sensitivity. And can easily detect when people start to pull away.
To enjoy a healthy relationship, they need to learn to know people before committing, so they don't get hurt when their expectations are not met.
If you start to neglect personal hygiene.
This is another sign that you might be burnt out: You spend more time alone doing nothing. You don't shower because of the lack of energy.
Lazy people are this way, the difference is with burnout, you weren't always this way.
And when the parents are ready to give the vacillators affection, they're too angry to receive it.
In adulthood, they try to find a deep love they missed as children.
They idealize new relationships and once they feel let down, they grow doubtful.
Avoiders like their space. And are more logical than emotional.
They're uncomfortable when people around them experience mood swings.
To cultivate healthy relationships as an avoider, they need to open up and honestly express their opinions.
Victims have low self esteem. And usually struggle with anxiety and depression.
They end up with controlling people who mirror their parents' behavior.
They're so used to chaos that when they experience a peaceful relationship, the calmness makes them uneasy.
Most people feel stuck, lost and directionless.
For others they avoid their childhoods because it holds serious pain.
But the key to gaining self-mastery, freedom and moving forward is by studying your childhood.
For pleasers to build a healthy relationship, they have to be honest about their feelings.
And create boundaries. Rather than doing what everyone expects.
Here are some quick solutions
- Lift weights
- Reduce screen time before bed.
- Talk to people in person.
- Get sunlight
- Drink more water
- Eat whole foods
- Read a physical book before bed
- Take some time off your stressors.
The Victim
The victims grow up in a chaotic home.
They are compliant by doing everything possible to take away attention from themselves.
They build an imaginary world in their heads to cope with the danger they grew up in.
Too much or too little sleep
Insomnia or too much sleep is a sign of mental breakdown.
A solution is working out more often or reading a (physical) book before bed.
The less simulation the better. Because the goal is to calm your brain.
Brain Fog
If you've been feeling disoriented. Struggle with remembering things. And have found it difficult to concentrate recently. It is a sign of a mental breakdown.
Our childhood affects us in more ways than we think.
How we react to things. Our self-beliefs. How we express ourselves are all formed as early as we can make sense of our environment.
Based on our upbringing, we have various love styles. Here are five of them:
Fulfillment in adulthood comes from knowing your childhood because most of your identity is formed there.
You've spent countless hours with your parents and this has affected your approach to work, relationships, success and self-belief.
Pride is the worst companion
It teaches you nothing. Stunts your growth. And ruins you.
You can't be right all the time. Switch pride with humility and you'll grow.
The Vacillator
They grow up with unpredictable parents. And learned that their needs are not their parent's top priority.
They developed a fear of abandonment because they had no consistent affection from their parents.
The Avoider.
They grow up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-reliance.
They learn to take care of themselves early.
And put their feelings on hold to deal with their anxieties of having no comfort from their parents.
Here are some quick solutions
- Lift weights
- Reduce screen time before bed.
- Talk to people in person.
- Get sunlight
- Drink more water
- Eat whole foods
- Read a physical book before bed
- Take some time off your stressors.
Some believe being rich is evil because of what a parent said about a rich wicked uncle growing up
Some have the need to lie about their interests to be accepted
These habits and mindsets become ingrained into your subconscious and become scripts for interacting with the world
Learn to write and speak
There's power in writing your thoughts and communicating those thoughts to people.
These two skills are how you become powerful enough to do meaningful things in this world.
The Controller
They grew up in a home with no protection, so they had to stand up for themselves.
And they try to feel in control always to make up for the vulnerability they experienced in their childhood from being exposed.
They feel more emotional stress because of their sensitivity. And can easily detect when people start to pull away.
To enjoy a healthy relationship, they need to learn to know people before committing, so they don't get hurt when their expectations are not met.
Your childhood holds the secrets to your identity.
However often you can, try to
- Ask questions.
- Journal to understand who you are.
- Evaluate your childhood memories.
But the point isn't to get stuck here. It is about using it to understand and free yourself.
Victims have low self esteem. And usually struggle with anxiety and depression.
They end up with controlling people who mirror their parents' behavior.
They're so used to chaos that when they experience a peaceful relationship, the calmness makes them uneasy.
And when the parents are ready to give the vacillators affection, they're too angry to receive it.
In adulthood, they try to find a deep love they missed as children.
They idealize new relationships and once they feel let down, they grow doubtful.
Avoiders like their space. And are more logical than emotional.
They're uncomfortable when people around them experience mood swings.
To cultivate healthy relationships as an avoider, they need to open up and honestly express their opinions.
Some had distant parents, and in adulthood, seeked out relationships with distant people.
Some had parents with drug problems, and in adulthood, become drawn to relationships where they had to fix people.
Social withdrawal
Have you been canceling plans with everyone? This is another bad sign.
We need socialization, and when we don't have this, it affects us mentally.
They prefer to solve problems on their own. Like to get things done in a certain manner.
And if things don't follow this pattern, they get angry.
Controllers can form stable relationships by letting go. Trusting others. And controlling their anger.
Controllers believe they're in control when they can avoid negative feelings of fear, humiliation and helplessness.
Controllers use anger as a means to remain in power.
They don't easily leave their comfort zone as it makes them weak and unprotected (as it was in childhood)
The Victim
The victims grow up in a chaotic home.
They are compliant by doing everything possible to take away attention from themselves.
They build an imaginary world in their heads to cope with the danger they grew up in.
Nothing can teach you more than your last mistake.
If you never listen to others, your past mistakes will teach you.
Because life is a patient teacher, that keeps teaching you the same lessons until you learn.
Think long-term
Thinking longterm will save you from entering the wrong relationships. Getting health problems. Falling into depression. And making mistakes.
Too much or too little sleep
Insomnia or too much sleep is a sign of mental breakdown.
A solution is working out more often or reading a (physical) book before bed.
The less simulation the better. Because the goal is to calm your brain.
The absence of responsibility is not freedom but misery
If you think running away from responsibility will give you freedom, you're in for a surprise
Purpose. Happiness. Peace. Love and Meaning in life all start with taking responsibility for yourself, people, and situations
Personal hygiene
Neglecting your personal hygiene?
You may feel like you just don't have the energy to do anything. But this could be a sign of depression and even worse, a mental breakdown.
Brain Fog
If you've been feeling disoriented. Struggle with remembering things. And have found it difficult to concentrate recently. It is a sign of a mental breakdown.
The problem is, we think those subconscious patterns and household routines are normal.
But these harmful patterns become obvious when you interact with people.
Less Words More Action
People say the most. If we lived by words alone, there won't be any problems in the world.
But actions show more. Give people time to show who they really are. It will save you lots of stress.
You suddenly eat too much or too little
Change in appetite can be a sign of stress too. Cortisol (the stress hormone) can make you crave foods high in fat and sugar.
A solution to this is to eat whole foods.
Be patient.
You're going to be looked down on. Accept it.
You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you.
Be patient with the results, but not with execution. This is how you win.
Pride is the worst companion
It teaches you nothing. Stunts your growth. And ruins you.
You can't be right all the time. Switch pride with humility and you'll grow.
Chasing pleasure is costing you future peace.
Life wasn't built for only pleasure. Focusing on only pleasure will leave you emptier than you've ever been.
Your parents may not make any sense.
Our heads are hot at this point. We want to explore, and see how far our newfound freedom can take us.
But an elder sees more sitting down, than you do sitting on a tree.
Regrets are a waste of time.
Regrets cause depression. They're a big waste of time.
You didn't invest early? You didn't treat that person right? You didn't practice the right habits?
It's okay
As long as you take positive action today, there's hope.