The fact that I’ve spent most of my summer indoors working and not naked and frolicking free under the sun with gays on a beach somewhere is a total travesty
I long to be naked poolside under the bright hot sun, a shimmery glow of sweat all over my skin, lazily smoking a joint. Yet here I am, clothed, trapped within my work’s four walls, a slave to capitalism…
I honestly dig all the grays I’ve got in my beard. I think they kind of make look distinguished. But so help me, first gray pube I see, I’m getting electrolysis and becoming one of those hairless cats.
Being gay means changing out of the slutty little shorts you wear around the house into the slutty little shorts you wear out and about running errands
Mom: We’ve got the third worse air quality in the country, make sure you’re wearing mask outside! You wouldn’t want to damage your lungs!
*me coughing my brains out after a huge bong rip*
Sure thing mom!
The Indian dude working at the liquor store caught me dancing and singing along Espresso, smiled and then said “I turn it up for you!”. Y’all, not all heroes wear capes