Gerry Canavan (parody)
@gerrycanavan
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Doomsayer, Utopologist. Minor but representative. Professor of 20th- and 21st-Century Literature at Marquette University and Chair @MarquetteENGL .
Milwaukee, WI
Joined December 2008
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都知事選
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Lewis
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#BritishGP
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Uhuru Park
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石丸さん
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小池さん
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Feds
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Amerix
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Le NFP
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Oscar
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キン肉マン
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Ferrari
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Lando
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ابو عبيده
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أبو عبيدة
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Leclerc
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短冊メーカー
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Jules
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Vive la France
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EMMANUEL AL 9009
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ON A GAGNÉ
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Piastri
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ON L'A FAIT
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Margot Robbie
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Hanouna
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STILL WE RISE
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Faith Kipyegon
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U-Haul
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#اوقفوا_التدخلات_بالاتحاد
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National Rally
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Michael Olise
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ハミルトン
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Pinned Tweet
Context collapse on social media is just a major unsolved problem that bad UI makes a thousand times worse. Sometimes I worry people don’t realize I’m actually a very smart person with impeccably correct opinions who posts bad takes because I think it’s funny
Twitter threads are so poorly implemented! It often just prunes entire branches, which means readers *can't even see* your elaborations and clarifications to an initial tweet, so they assume you're an ignorant buffoon and react accordingly.
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presenting the new most divorced man in the world
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The part of the Star Wars mythos where the incompetent elites who failed to stop the system from sliding into fascism simply go into hiding and do nothing waiting for a bunch of kids to grow up and fix the problem themselves hits pretty hard right now.
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Elon Musk destroying Twitter for all of us who weren’t strong enough to delete our accounts on our own is basically a shot-for-shot remake of Gollum stealing the Ring from Frodo and falling into Mt. Doom
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SENIOR YEAR (2022): three intrepid teenagers disguise themselves as baby boomers to get an education without going $40,000 in debt
Hundreds of baby boomers are taking classes at the University of Minnesota as part of its Senior Citizen Education Program — and all for just $10 per credit.
“This is our opportunity to study those things we’ve spent a lifetime being curious about,” one student tells
@KevTibs
.
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John McCain is one of the bravest fighters I've ever known. Basic access to health care doesn't know what it's up against. Give it hell John
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attn scholarly organizations, this is now considered best practice
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would have thought it’d be a banner day for this comic
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The name Duncan Idaho is so similar to Indiana Jones, you’d think it has to be a reference — but unfortunately there’s no evidence George Lucas was familiar with Dune.
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I think “abolish ICE” is the moderate position and “arrest ICE’s leaders and put them on trial” is the progressive position, but that’s me.
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I really think if more Americans traveled overseas regularly they would be stunned by how dirty, broken-down, and generally dysfunctional essentially all infrastructure in the US is, both public (roads, buses, trains) and private (cell networks, laundromats).
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America's slow but very real decline into a fascist state as told by the post-sitcom careers of its lovable goofballs
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Speaking as a college professor, the most overawing comment about the American educational system I can make is that students experience schooling as terror. Every semester it takes me a month to convince my students I’m not going to try and hurt them.
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Frankenstein
Name other scholars beside Oppenheimer who spent their later years running away from their early work
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Incredible to see Democrats consolidating behind a candidate who got caught in what should have been a career ending lie about Nelson Mandela *two days ago*
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amazing that I’ve only seen this one once today, it’s the definitive texts for such moments
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Obi-Wan on Twitter telling people how important it is to vote
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This Oregon story is a slow-burn “worst news in the country” right now, rivaling both the Iran strike and the camps. The GOP openly making common cause with paramilitary groups and the Dems completely backing down is a very bad sign for the 2020s and beyond.
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do you ever think about how the proposition that the Earth should remain inhabitable is an absolutely fringe position in US politics, without representation in either political party and routinely mocked by essentially all mass media of any sort
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this would actually be a great study to show what everyone knows, that health insurers arbitrarily deny legitimate claims as a time tax on their own clients
a fun thing about having twins is that when your health insurance rejects a valid claim, they do it for *different wrong reasons* for each twin, even though the visit was identical for both
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It’s an extremely crowded and competitive field, but doing the mass shooting drills over Zoom school has got to be the most absolutely deranged bit of civic religion this country has going right now.
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gentlemen, you can't do politics in here -- this is Toni Morrison Hall!
Princeton has arrested and evicted one third of its graduating African American studies majors. It has also locked the doors of Toni Morrison Hall, where the department is housed and which is right next to the encampment. Super racist stuff guys!
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my theory is that every viral tweet has some unanticipated ambiguity that causes it to be misread, which is precisely the force that propels it into virality. in this case I am now convinced that at least 15%-20% of the people sharing this believe I am the guy being described
presenting the new most divorced man in the world
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Ordinary Americans have reorganized every aspect of how we live and work in about 15 days’ time, shifting everything around to take care of each other in the face of a serious collective threat. We keep doing it. It’s our rulers who are wildly inadequate to the moment, not us.
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Just to add that the expense involved in bringing American infrastructure up to snuff will be genuinely painful now, but only because governments at all levels have refused to invest for the last few decades.
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Thomas L. Friedman, IF I DID IT (Harper Collins, 2021)
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today it is used primarily in grant applications
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2016 Trump
2020 Trump
2024 Trump
2026 Revolutionary Council
2028 Trump
2032, 2036 elections suspended
2040 Chelsea Clinton vs George P Bush
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community note for the ages
The entire Wake County Sheriff’s Office family is heartbroken after K9 Santos was shot & killed in the line of duty.
K9 Santos and his handler were called to assist Knightdale Police with a search for a suspect around 12:30 am. While tracking, K9 Santos was fatally wounded.
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the fact that Biden goes out of his way to sexually humiliate every underage girl he comes across despite multiple injunctions to stop is bad, actually
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Han Solo just showed up one day and said I’m going to ruin Darth Vader’s whole life
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#actually
she would have been made to resign by her own party
Hardly needs to be said at this point, but if any of this had happened with Hillary Clinton in the WH, she would quite literally have been impeached by now.
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There's something almost inspiring in the human willingness to conclude "someone has a weather laser" rather than "we are seeing consequences of climate changes that have been predicted since 1896."
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faced with two equally destructive paths, health system collapse or economic freefall, America has boldly chosen both
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He’s even serving time for rape. Just say rape.
14-year-old impregnated by North Carolina police officer is suing the officer, the police chief and the town
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I really think that the single basic solution to all Parenting Discourse is that children are supposed to be raised by giant kin networks and the fact that white, middle-class America abolished those without creating any alternatives has made contemporary family life a nightmare.
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This has a very easy nonviolent solution: reinterpret the power of the majority to compel attendance as the power to deem a quorum is present even when it isn’t. It’s obvious from the fact that you can send police after nonattending legislators that this tactic is disallowed.
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That people are still arguing about Iraq as if it weren’t unambiguously bad is absolutely nightmarish.
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Absolutely and they will do it the next time they get a chance
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As bonkers as the Trump years were, it was only the stuff so sloppy and egregious it became public. We’re going to find out it was so much worse.
The Trump Justice Department secretly obtained Washington Post journalists’ phone records and tried to obtain their email records over reporting they did in the early months of the Trump administration on Russia’s role in the 2016 election.
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The people who said the Democrats should use their power to change the number of justices on the Supreme Court while they had it were right and the people who prevented them from doing it were wrong.
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I am one of the most cynical people on the planet about the viability of America’s political institutions and the good faith of the Democratic Party but nevertheless the realization that this is all going to happen and they can’t/won’t stop it is genuinely shattering
*Missouri is joining Louisiana in making IUDs and Plan B illegal.
*Arizona GOP Senate candidate calls for condoms to be banned in all states
*Idaho Rep. says that he wants to legislation banning Plan B. and possibly IUDs.
This AIN’T about abortion.
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This is such a great frame and should be adopted by Bernie for the general
this from
@mattyglesias
's case for Sanders isn't quite right imo: one of the strongest cases for Bernie isn't just what he'll be able to achieve, it's what he'll refuse to do (cannot imagine him signing a grand bargain weakening Social Security, for instance)
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It is unreal the way Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube all these sites allow themselves to be used to organize fascist terrorism and then delete the evidence as soon as the inevitable occurs.
Gab has taken down the shooter's profile, it seems. Here's his last post. HIAS, I'm pretty sure, refers to Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society.
"Screw your optics. I'm going in."
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This isn’t how Siri works.
find the leakers within the FBI itself. Classified information is being given to media that could have a devastating effect on U.S. FIND NOW
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Capitalism is so thoroughly naturalized as a “law” that we are going to allow our society to crash into a decade-long depression rather than leverage our vast existing resources to solve an eminently solvable, temporary problem.
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9/11 has been a site of toxic nostalgia since 9/12 but trying to turn it into an anti-Trump rallying cry is next level Democratic brain worms. The unity you’re remembering is Bush standing on a mound of corpses with a bullhorn vowing to make Them pay.
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Pelosi explaining that $600 is actually good, rather than blaming McConnell or Trump, or saying you get more if the Democrats win in Georgia
I didn’t understand American politics or the Democratic Party until I started to study the psychology of scams.
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sounds like they were members huh
One former DHS official said staffers in CBP’s public affairs office monitored the Facebook group over the past year “as a source of intelligence” to see “what people are talking about”
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Imagining being so toxic that even a brand doesn’t feel like it has to pretend to like you.
@AnnCoulter
Additionally, your insults about our other customers and employees are unacceptable and unnecessary.
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THE END OF THE ENGLISH MAJOR (2023)
ENGLISH MAJOR: REBIRTH (2025)
ENGLISH MAJOR: TOKYO DRIFT (2026)
ENGLISH MAJOR: DARK LEGACY (2029)
ENGLISH MAJOR ORIGINS (2034)
ENGLISH MAJOR (2040)
ENGLISH MAJOR 2 (2042)
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What counts as violence and what doesn’t is a really fascinating thing. This decision cancelled abortions that were scheduled for *today*.
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in context I think this statement should be taken as a security threat
To all of those who have asked, I will not be going to the Inauguration on January 20th.
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you gotta respect the dedication of a player who just goes out there and leaves it all on the field, every game
Michael Cohen doesn’t want a pardon, does want $500K for his “Truth Fund” Kickstarter:
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I don’t know that I was fully a police abolitionist before this but they absolutely need to dissolve all of these departments
Share widely: National guard and MPD sweeping our residential street. Shooting paint canisters at us on our own front porch. Yelling “light em up”
#JusticeForGeorgeFloyd
#JusticeForGeorge
#BlackLivesMatter
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this man has never once thrown a battery at anyone
At the
@Giants
game. Rooting them on against the
@49ers
and helping the refs make the tough calls!
http://t.co/H2Wi2XNR50
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bring 👏 back 👏 resigning 👏 in 👏 disgrace 👏 👏 👏
Justice Abe Fortas forced to quit Supreme Court, 1969, over his secret financial relationship with rich friend:
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An underrated component for the Forever War on Bernie Sanders is ego protection. He has to be bad so the people who don’t support him don’t have to revise their understanding of themselves as good.
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[Hitler is on The Tonight Show]
LENO: Let me start with question number one...
[audience laughter]
LENO: What the hell were you thinking?
[audience loses it]
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yeah, but twenty years ago these would have been four separate tenure track lines and now it's one person teaching four classes a term
I just love how the devil is an interdisciplinary scholar ✊🏾
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Even if he weren’t changing his story every six hours, the idea that the FBI director he appointed convinced a judge he appointed to take this completely unprecedented step that will shape the next decade of American history over an innocent misunderstanding beggars belief.
I think this is the 6th or 7th different spin they’ve tried to give.
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“A multiverse filled with less-expensive versions of your signature protagonists is a pretty nice trick for a company currently being sued by multiple A-list actors for breaking its contracts.”
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The most salient fact of academia today is that low-cost humanities classes subsidize every other aspect of university operations. You will never hear a single administrator acknowledge this basic fact and indeed they insist that the money flows the other way.
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Warren voters personally identify with their candidate too much, unlike me, a grouchy, grumpy white male Sanders supporter with disheveled clothes, bad hair, and marginal, vaguely conspiratorial political views whose coworkers don’t like him
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He really does look like Mystique pretending to be a US Senator.
Vice President Mike Pence will try to disrupt normalization of North Korea at the Olympics, Axois reports
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Twitter, while bad, was good at doing what it was doing, and now it’s not even good at that
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WARNING: The Internet is preparing to give birth to the largest “not all men” of all time. Stay indoors. Avoid men wherever possible.
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Re: the grad school tweet, grad school can be a good place to hide from a terrible job market but leaving grad school with good post-ac prospects and good mental health requires a level of clearheaded, bloodless detachment that is hard to maintain even if you go in intending to.
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YOU DIDN’T EVEN WIN YET
Pelosi: “we are not going after Republicans the way they went after us”
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ok so who is the special envoy against climate change
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In walks this dame. She says she's got something precious for me but it's pricy. I say I'm listening. She says the words she wants to say haven't been spoken in these lands since Men forgot the language Elves taught them when the world was still beautiful. I said get to the point
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When I teach neoliberalism it only takes one or two “we used to have student grants, now we have student loans” type examples before they recognize every major public policy initiative of their lives has been about turning what used to be public goods into private revenue streams
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Between Amanda Waller in Suicide Squad & the TVA in Loki it seems clear that someone in Hollywood decided that you can square the left’s suspicion of police with the right’s worship of traditional authority by making the cops black women whose power the male heroes have to undo.
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modern physics still cannot explain why everything bernie did 40 years ago happened yesterday but nothing warren, bloomberg, or biden did before yesterday ever happened at all
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Watching this obvious-to-me shitpost be interpreted so differently by so many people has been a study in the perils of unstable irony.
John McCain is one of the bravest fighters I've ever known. Basic access to health care doesn't know what it's up against. Give it hell John
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if you really want to be spooked you should think about why humans evolved to find these sorts of spaces unsettling and what might have happened in our prehistory to make this evolutionarily advantageous
Why do all hotels look like you’ll be murdered by ghosts in the hallway
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the prof in grad school who wrote on my paper that it was “clever” only to come back days later with a different pen to add “in the UK sense”
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America is barreling towards something truly ugly and no one has any idea how to stop it
Fox is pouring all their on-air resources into their smear campaign accusing Disney of grooming, indoctrinating, and sexualizing children
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we take it for granted today but our knowledge of what birds are has grown by leaps and bounds since 1906
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@chrislhayes
one of my favorite little joys as a teacher is passing around the report the Manhattan Project produced that argued the atomic bomb probably wouldn't set the atmosphere on fire
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Democrats becoming convinced they can get clout by being abusive to people asking perfectly reasonable questions has not worked out well
Speaker Pelosi: "This will be your third time."
Reporter: "My third time what, asking about Covid relief? Well, it's substantive, you like substantive questions."
Pelosi: "Well while people are dying in Ukraine and all of that."
Reporter: "People are dying of Covid, too."
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this is funny in that “this is an extremely serious problem at American universities” sense
University presidents writing statements about the coup
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Arizona selling its statehouse and renting it back on a 99 year contract. Chicago selling the parking meters and having to ask the private company for permission to have a parade.
If you had to explain Neoliberalism in a tweet, to an audience of non-academics, how would you do it?
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A manufacture of consent note: absolutely no talk of popular vote totals tonight
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A bit lost in the great student enrollment debate of fall 2020 is the fact that their loans come due in sixth months if they disenroll.
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Just as genre SF persists in stories about hyperspace + timetravel based on quasi-scientific speculation now decades out of date, tech capital can’t stop throwing money at fantasies about automation + AI when every real indicator of the future is screaming environmental collapse.
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computer, increase wokeness to 35% on my mark. engage
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@emilyvgordon
What’s remarkable is that this content is universally beloved. No one has even called me a dumbass
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