Gerald Ratner
@geraldratner
Followers
5,627
Following
224
Media
428
Statuses
1,475
Built the world’s largest jewellery business with 2,500 shops . Now on the speakers circuit talking about the rise and fall and rise again
Wargrave Berkshire
Joined November 2014
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#ISSUExENGFA
• 297556 Tweets
LINGORM MY AMBULOVE
• 277970 Tweets
BUILD WITH ISSUE THAILAND
• 270747 Tweets
BAMBAM JOYFUL IN CHIANGMAI
• 193975 Tweets
2NE1
• 183353 Tweets
YINWAR ISSUE BIFW2024
• 120475 Tweets
天使の日
• 116552 Tweets
ポケモン
• 72872 Tweets
Mancuso
• 64665 Tweets
名探偵ピカチュウ
• 47360 Tweets
#OUROADCLOSEFRiEND2_EP8
• 33955 Tweets
感謝マルチガチャ
• 29019 Tweets
オベロン
• 26974 Tweets
seungkwan
• 26380 Tweets
雇用統計
• 26002 Tweets
最大4体ゲット
• 23797 Tweets
MINQ FRIENDS OR MORE
• 22036 Tweets
#金スマ
• 20733 Tweets
ヤムチャ
• 20320 Tweets
#櫻坂46_僕は僕を好きになれない
• 18670 Tweets
KAMIGATA BOYZ
• 18430 Tweets
アスパラベーコン
• 16158 Tweets
NuNew 100M On Spotify
• 15978 Tweets
星5配布
• 13220 Tweets
#ساعه_استجابه
• 11616 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
On my way to Christmas lunch , it’s risky but, want to see friends
13
1
64
Michael Gove ‘“ people shouldn’t be defined by the biggest mistake they’ve made in their lives “. I wish
457
3K
13K
It is 30 years today when I made 'that’ speech. It seems like yesterday I wish it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
854
1K
12K
I offered Starmer free jewellery but, he didn’t want it.
665
2K
11K
It should have been obvious — I thought it would be obvious — but I would like to clarify, just in case it wasn’t. In a key sentence in my remarks, I said the word crap when I meant quality. Thanks Donald.
147
3K
10K
33 years ago today! It seems like yesterday. I wish it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
77
126
999
One member of the Facebook staff accidentally erased the site from the internet. Even I couldn’t compete with that !
7
24
201
I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother-in -law. Who lives at 1837 3rd st , LA 90023 blue house . She gets off work at six.
3
15
115
Civil servant has to take a year off work because, he was so traumatised after Dominic Raab threw his sandwich on the floor. Lucky we are not fighting a war.
17
6
114
All these tweets about Elon Musk having a Gerald Ratner moment are off the mark. You can only join my club if you disparage your own products. Not by just saying something stupid.
4
22
108
The Queen and Jacques Chirac the French president were travelling on a horse drawn carriage at Royal Ascot when one of the horses let out a very loud fart. The Queen immediately apologised but, Jacques Chirac said don’t worry I thought it was the horse. True story.
6
17
114
Outside dining in the UK is relatively new. When I was a kid if you saw tables and chairs outside you thought somebody had been evicted.
2
7
86
They say that all publicity is good publicity and there is some truth in that. Because when I go to Wigan on a wet Tuesday night to do a speech it’s a better that at least they have heard of me. Also as I have been doing it for 25 years I have made back some of the billion I lost
11
1
90
However awful May was as PM Corbyn should of said something nice about her on her departure. That’s just common decency. Something he clearly doesn’t have.
18
8
84
In the past 24 hours there have been over 200 tweets comparing me to P&O Ferries. Whilst I admit I made an ill judged joke over 30 years ago I always had a reputation for caring and respecting my staff as many of my ex colleagues will testify.
9
2
83
It was crazy cancelling the footie. What an opportunity it would of been for the nation’s supporters to come together and pay their respects to our wonderful late Queen and sing God save the King.
6
4
77
Do Sharks complain about Monday? No. They’re up early biting stuff,chasing shit, being scary, reminding everyone they’re a fucking shark.
6
15
77
The truth of the matter is simply that Megan has turned Harry against his family. This is a childish ploy used for many years by many wives in an effort to make them the centre of attraction. Pure jealousy and insecurity.
15
4
74
People Tweet vile things because, they are unhappy with their own lives so want to spread the unhappiness .
I get abused on Twitter every day because,I made a bad joke about a sherry decanter 30 years ago.
12
8
70
Workers in the public sector take twice as many days off as those in the private sector . They also have longer holidays and earn more . Fact.
25
6
65
You have no control over who people think you are. So don’t worry about it. If they want to hate some fictional version of you that exists in their mind, let them. Don’t exhaust yourself winning over people you can’t win over. Go where the kindness is.
2
8
61
All I have heard this week is the NHS problems are due to lack of funding. Why is it that in Scotland where they spend more it’s even worse? The truth is it’s the appalling bureaucracy and incompetence that keeps it in permanent crisis.
9
8
60
One thing worse than having a Jeremy Corbyn government is knowing you are going to get one
24
11
58
I asked my wife if “ I could turn the heating on ” ? She said you can but, it will be part of your Christmas present.
2
8
55
Really. Why should we be proud of someone who compares our government to Nazis ?
23
3
53
I am taking huge delight in the disintegration of the SNP. They have been preaching at us and finger wagging at us and riding their moral high horses towards us and it’s lovely to see the whole thing falling apart
0
7
54
WARNING. If you receive an email with the subject Two free tickets for the next Scotland home game DONT OPEN IT . It contains two free tickets for the next Scotland home game.
0
7
52
Nothing better than sitting by a roaring fire on a cold night . With a couple of Jeffrey Archer novels to keep it going.
3
5
47
My wife sends me to the supermarket today to pick up my sons car . Coincidentally my son has the same idea but, discovers to his horror that it was not there as I got there first . A witness runs out and gives him a description of the thief “seedy looking geezer “.
1
0
49
Tip. If you want to get through on the phone to the head of a company to complain or whatever. Do what I do just say your Superintendent Brown calling from the Met. It always works.
6
3
44
This would grant the average nurse, who earns roughly £35,600 each year, an extra £6,000 annually .
Add to that their 20% pension and your looking at a package worth £50k. I think nurses are great but, that can’t be described as under paid.
14
1
45
I will admit I misjudged Boris. It seems he can organise a piss up
2
4
43
Is it ok for the Times today to quote an unnamed Tory minister saying “ Gerald Ratner is untrustworthy ” 31 years after I made a joke about a sherry decanter.
16
3
44
Theresa May has confirmed that we will leave the EU when the DFS sale ends.
2
9
40
BA pilots earn an average of £180 k . Double the industry average. Flights are mostly automated. They want more money and insist on 5 star hotels otherwise they will ruin family holidays.
25
9
39
The room where I will be speaking shortly is The Dining Room at The Broadwick Soho
8
4
40
I like to see good in everyone bar Hitler and Westlife. So it was a horrible shock when my wife informed me that they are performing at this year’s Henley Festival which we have tickets for.
11
2
39
To the person who stole my antidepressants. I hope you’re happy
3
7
40
Philip never moaned or complained or self pitied. Take note Megan and Serena Williams
13
3
39
There was a time when everyone on the BBC spoke in a cut glass English accent. As if they had just stepped out of the film Brief Encounter . Those days are gone Digby the dinosaur.
4
2
38
I just downloaded a pirate copy of the Bohemian Rhapsody film. The quality is terrible.. I can only see a little silhouette of a man.
1
8
36
The key to happiness is to think no further ahead than dinner
6
1
38
Has Starmer got anything else to say other than “ It’s fully costed and fully funded and my father was a toolmaker and I was head of the Crown Prosecution Service "
13
5
37
Because I made a joke about a sherry decanter over 30 years ago I am now being compared to Putin on Twitter. Nice
9
3
37
Just had a curry and I asked the manager how he was. He said he had COVID with no symptoms except diarrhoea for 3 days then he served me my vindaloo
6
2
37
I have been trolled again on Twitter. “Ratner the poster boy for failure "and that was from the wife.
5
0
35
Frankie Dettori controversy : kiss was non-
consensual says horse.
2
3
36
Nobody lay on their deathbed and said I should of spent more time arguing with someone on Twitter.
2
6
35
It’s not the fact Pinky and Perky didn’t queue it’s Pinky still wearing a mask that’s annoying. So last year.
4
0
33
They were no unions in Nazi Germany or Communist Russia so that tells you we should be glad we have them. But if a company is well run like Tesco or Marks and Spencer you don’t actually need them. They certainly need them in The NHS as it has abysmal management.
9
6
31
Tip. If you suddenly want to end a Skype or FaceTime call. Simply keep completely still don’t move a muscle the caller will think the connection has gone and hang up
1
5
33
It’s interesting that Portillo and Balls were disliked when they were politicians but, liked when they went into the media. So it’s true we just don’t like politicians.
13
1
35
As long as we idolise the NHS we won’t fix it. It’s not fit for purpose and pumping more and more money into it clearly doesn’t work. We need an Andy Street or Timpson or Dyson figure to drag it into the 21st century
12
2
32
We are all two people our private self and the one the world demands to see.
2
0
32
History repeating itself as Boris Johnson is the new Michael Heseltine ( flamboyant extrovert ) loses to Jeremy Hunt the new John Major ( dull & boring but, safe) .
7
4
30
I have been told that all sunglasses have to meet UV standards. So it doesn’t matter if you pay £5 or £200 you will get the same protections as long as you buy them from a reputable shop . I bought these today in Boots for £10.
11
0
31
Sir Tom Stoppard on Newsnight “ I could say one casual thing and I’m screwed for the rest of my life “ No comment
2
8
30
I’m planning a long liquid lunch today then I have to climb on my roof to adjust my tv aerial
15
1
29
The higher a monkey climbs the more you can see of his arse
1
7
28