Hear that bell? Girl Town Hall is officially in session. Pull up your chair and take a bite of your caesar, we’re about to chat.
🥗 FULL CROWD WORK SPECIAL OUT NOW ONLY ON MY YOUTUBE (link in bio)
#standupcomedy
#crowdwork
A man just pulled me aside at the grocery store and said, “you seem like you eat salad, what would you put in a salad I don’t eat salad and I need to make a salad” ..................................
Some of the reasons I hate twitter:
1. it’s not picture based which is hard considering I’m a model
2. Sentences? How do you?
3. I’m pretty sure I’ve actually never thought one single thing
^all common symptoms of being a model
My parents always taught me to “oink” at cops and yell “hey baby” to construction workers and I never understood why until I grew up and realized they are the funniest ppl on the planet.
When I’m feeling calm my favorite thing to do is drink 7 coffees and self-induce a panic attack so life isn’t so damn BORING. Let’s spice it up hunny I want cold sweats!!!!!!
Just heard a 7 year old girl say, “I don’t like to kiss people and I just really don’t like kissing” .... what a little fuckin’ virgin! More kisses for us loser
My doctor is my family friend so he literally does not care when I’m sick. I told him my tonsils were swollen and he said, “stop complaining I’m very busy”.
My favorite thing about an airplane is that there are 2 bathrooms for literally 75 people and the first thing they do is offer us all coffee. Okaaaaaay MASTERS OF CHAOS.