g0m.bsky.social
@g0m
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#خلصوا_صفقات_الهلال1
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ラピュタ
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Atatürk
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Megan
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Johnny
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نابولي
• 198560 Tweets
#4MINUTES_EP6
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RM IS COMING
• 134533 Tweets
namjoon
• 126560 Tweets
olivia
• 121447 Tweets
Napoli
• 104591 Tweets
Sterling
• 96798 Tweets
Coco
• 55238 Tweets
Labor Day
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كاس العالم
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Arteta
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Nelson
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Javier Acosta
• 26543 Tweets
ŹOOĻ記念日
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Día Internacional
• 23875 Tweets
Romney
• 19138 Tweets
Tadic
• 16756 Tweets
Lolla
• 15982 Tweets
Dzeko
• 15098 Tweets
#FBvALY
• 13983 Tweets
Lo Celso
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نادي سعودي
• 11845 Tweets
me: say a big number.
millenial: DUHHhhh... 10. can i have a participation trophy now duhh
Wise 37 year old [smiling serenely]: One million.
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Too many gay people at pride.. been saying this for years. It used to be about the brands
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Nintendo E3 FAQ
Q: When Mario takes control of a human body, does the human die?
A: Yes
Q: Does it hurt to die from this?
A: Absolutely
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18yo me: I'm going to work hard to have a good life
23yo me: If I watched more anime, I could do an anime podcast. then that could be my job
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Me at 13: Pissed off at Barney the dinosaur because its for babies. I go to newgrounds and play a flash game where you shoot him with the doom super shotgun
Me at 26: My continued, unceasing rage at barney the dinosaur no longer has a healthy outlet.
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The thing about living in Ireland is, you miss the most incredible news stories from America while you sleep... apparently last night a fly landed on an old man
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It's very important to expose yourself to opposing views so as to not be trapped in an "echo chamber". That's why every day I always try to read at least one thing written by some angry asinine loser that fucking sucks and I hate
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Noticed that a "Five Guys" restaurant has recently opened near to me. Here is a joke I came up with about that:
Q. Where are you going for dinner?
A. I am going to have five guys [i.e. have sex with five men]
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If "The Office (USA)" has taught us anything, it's that sometimes the people you work with just as your family instead the home people you family work
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I think we can all agree that Pokémon designs were a LOT better [and had a lot more heart!] back when I was most susceptible to wide-scale marketing campaigns designed by a large multinational corporation for the purpose of draining money from harried parents
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After years of tireless work, conservationists at the louvre have finally restored the mona lisa to the point where the HUD is once again visible, displaying the total amount of health and ammo the mona lisa had at time of painting
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vtuber: kiyaaaah! uwaaaa i m-messed up… im brain like babey but i have boobs and short skirt… i’m a big sexual woman baby
viewer: Io tthink this kicks ass for reasons I will not introspect on
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Thinking about throwing that old CRT TV in the dumpster? Not so fast - these things are of huge value to the Smash Bros Melee community! Be sure to break the screen first
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Types of art RANKED
7) Comic
6) Poem
5) Movie (Other)
4) Movie (Long)
3) Book
2) Painting
1) Computergame thats not fun on purpose
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Playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate and just noticed that a few of the characters [Mario, Link etc] are actually references to other Nintendo games. Great easter egg for long-time fans!
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I'm a hipster. I'm wearing a fedora. I'm wearing skinny jeans. I'm drinking a steaming tall cup of delicious soybeans. I like the book Twilight. The full force of the armed forces in the most militarized nation in the world must be mobilized to defeat me
Imagine how many scared little white skinny jean communists are sitting in their parents basement right now shaking and clutching their Soy Latte while trying frantically to delete their ANTIFA laden FB profiles before federal agents drag them to GITMO.
What complete bitches.
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Regular person: hi
Sex-positive edu-porn webcomic author: Greetings to all my wonderful saucy perverts reading out there on the intertubes! Do I have a sticky, slimy treat for you~!
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Scott Adams has created a comic strip where, at long last, Dilbert says "fuck". And the audience is going wild
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Stardust Crusaders is an inspiring story that teaches us if people from all across the globe team up and work together towards a common goal, they can succeed in killing a British man
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Elon Musk was pronounced dead at 3am this morning. The cause of death was found to be: none other than a broken heart. He is survived by an indeterminate amount of half-human half-vtuber children
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Just got the new twitter layout - not too sure what all the fuss is about tbh. Seems ok
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Me: I'm on the see-food diet.
😃: Ah, I assume that means you eat mainly seafood [spelled ess-ee-ae food], meaning fish, shrimp, molluscs, etc. To wit, different types of sea-borne life.
Me [thinking]: *laughs* This guy's has NO IDEA what he's in for...
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Feeling very down this evening, everyone - someone who owes me $500 died. Please pray for me
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I think that Bart Simpson only loved to eat Butterfingers because the company that made Butterfingers paid the company that made The Simpsons money.
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Got my onlyfans DMCA'd by nintendo just because I make the sound of a pikmin dying when I orgasm
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[I have sex one time by accident] Irony poisons discourse. To be sincere and honest is the only truly revolutionary act
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The year is 2017. There are three jobs: Performatively overracting to videogames, pretending to use a computer, and of course deathrace
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Hey... noticed a few of my mutuals still follow Bowser... 😬 not to follow police or anything but I think you should google Super Mario Bros
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AGENT YORK
...Zack, did you see that? In the coffee?
[AGENT YORK looks down at the coffee mug. The foam has formed the Super Smash Bros logo. AGENT YORK smiles to himself.]
AGENT YORK
...Looks like this case just got interesting.
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Commission for an anonymous commissioner: “transgender bathroom”
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Preview of my upcoming piece for the NYT on the intellectual darkweb - very excited for the opportunity
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I am against gender essentialism in all its forms. With one exception; women DO be shopping. I've SEEN them do it.
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[Discord loading logo]
I'M PICKLE RICK!!!
submitted by whitepride_vore via newgrounds private message
CONNECTING
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the dilbert guy's new graph dropped and I've been losing my mind over it all day
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DECONSTRUCTED BOYFRIEND MEME - DOLLAR AMOUNTS ONLY
"Nothing to buy... no words to read... just the good stuff..."
$20
$500
$35
$1
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$20,000
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free speed boost pad. Feel free to scroll past this tweet if you need an extra burst of speed
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[sees that Varg Vikernes has posted something problematic] Ugh, guess the 1993 murder of Euronymous was committed by Hatsune Miku now
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"The Japanese say you have four faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. And, a fourth one."
-Ancient proverb
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me: I'll leave the hall light on, so burglars won't break in.
burglar: That wasteful fucker left the lights on. Let's break in and kill him
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On this September 11th, let's remember the true hero of 9/11 - the family member of the firefighter who died who convinced Hideo Kojima that not releasing Metal Gear Solid 2 would be letting the terrorists win
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Community: YouTube needs to stop giving gold plaque content creators the right of prima noctis on their subscribers
YouTube: Effective immediately. We have removed the harmful "Charlie bit my finger" video. For normalizing bit my finger
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Vtuber fans have become mad at me! Not my problem. what are they going to do. Fake overreact at me
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-=COMPUTER JOKE CORNER=-
Q. Why do programmers always mix up OCT 31 and DEC 25?
A. Programmers are dumbasses
Q. There are 10 kinds of people in this world - people who understand binary, and people who don't!
A. shut the fuck up
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a... yea... sorry i cant cme into work today [fake coughing] i got the dyatlov pass incident.. should be fine by Tuesday
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WIFE: Wow... Thirty years already.
HUSBAND: The happiest years of my life. Happy anniversary.
ME [sidling up]: hey is this guy bothering you
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Remember when Scott Adams creator of Dilbert made a blog saying In my next post I will hypnotize you all into cumming. And all his fans replied saying Yes scott please hypnotize us into cumming. And then all the replies on his next post were Thanks so much for making us cum scott
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men, this tweet is for US GUYS ONLY! NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS TWEET! WELCOME TO THE TESTOSTER-ZONE!! do you guys ever get sad
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Tall people love to date short people because they can jump on their heads to reach a collectable
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When weed guys see some weed they get so excited that their eyes turn into little weed leaves. The reason for this is that they want to smoke the weed so bad.
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Me at 16: Mario smoking weed would be soooo funny lol
Me at 21: Mario smoking weed wouldn't be funny at all. Grow up.
Me at 26: There are a lot of revolutionary implications to the idea that Mario could smoke weed.
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me at 17: Wow! It's me from the future. Tell me, what is 2020 like?
me at 27: Well, borat is back
me at 17: That's incredible. 2020 sounds great.
me at 27: Yeah
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Fantasy
"Hideo Kojima's esteemable body of work has been a big influence on me. I'm a huge fan. I'd love to spend some time getting to know the great man."
Reality
KOJIMA: Did you see? The Walking Dead is coming back tonight. Anything could happen - only on AMC.
ME: Thank you
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Person 1 10 years ago: I am....t3h ebil bunneh of d00m!!!1!
Person 1 now: I work in the stock market
Person 2 10 years go: err... ya... ohhh kay.... *backs away slowly* :D
Person 2 now: I also work in the stock market
Share if you believe we are all the same on the inside
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@punishedFShater
@MandelaFace
To be fair he might not be a pedophile. Based on those photos he may actually be a child himself
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Harambe is an old meme... not funny. However it would be funny if some other zoo gorillas were to be shot
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