I’m thinking of doing one of them ‘pinned tweet’ thingies. I might use this one.

@Vroniholzmann “Yesterday’s man” 😩

@Vroniholzmann Bloody well stop it then

@JDIrwinbooks You’re a cruel woman, Julie. I like that.

I think they should let this Dr Upton bloke give evidence for the next month. The more he talks, the more shit falls out his mouth.

@JDIrwinbooks I have a theory about buffets Cress The more cress sprinkled on the sandwiches, the better the overall buffet content. It shows planning and consideration. If I don’t see a liberal sprinkling of cress I’m out the door* *with a pocket full of sandwiches. I’m not a complete fool.

@JDIrwinbooks God, yes. And a chicken and mushroom one. I feel the standard of buffets has dropped in recent years. There was a time where I could hide items in my pockets then feed myself for a week. Now it’s all avocado this and sour dough that. I feel a stiff letter of complaint coming on

@JDIrwinbooks Ha! Exactly. I won’t get out of bed for less than a full English or maybe a buffet table groaning under the weight of bread and little things on sticks. And vol au vents.

@JDIrwinbooks I’m a singularly unpleasant man, Julie. And I don’t leave the house unless there’s a good chance that I’m going to get fed.

@Vroniholzmann They do. I’m very lucky

@Vroniholzmann That’ll do me for lunch. Thank you.

@JDIrwinbooks I’ve never been to Lords. Apparently they do tours. I’m sorely tempted. I see a lot of children at the Hundred. I don’t like children*. A camera pans round the ground and finds me having a fight with a group of kids from St John’s Wood Mixed Infants. Not a good look. *Or adults

@JDIrwinbooks I used to live near Edgbaston so I went to tests whenever I could. I don’t mind the hundred but I don’t really see the point of it. I’ve never been to a short form game. Too many bars at the grounds. I’d be unconscious before the end of the first power play.

@JDIrwinbooks I pay an arm and a leg for Sky. Buggered if I’m selling a kidney to get TNT. I read the England match reports and they do appear to have been awful. I love T20, me. Ages until the IPL. I think the Champions Trophy is the next thing I can watch. Ever go to live games, Julie?

RT @NoContextBrits: Barnet away.

@ChickBlaine Ha! Like a deep fried mafia power grab but with pickled onions instead of bullets. Careful if you go to Pensnett, Chick. It’s like Deliverance. You know you’re at a ‘Snetter wedding when both families are sitting on the same side of the church.