maharaja mac
@fuckicare
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435
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I realised today that girls can read crazy smut with a straight face but get all giggly with just a fluffy romantic hi sent to them
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the sign of being best friends is when you are thinking of starting a podcast together
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i have been invited to a party where I don't like anyone, should I even bother to go😭😭😭😭😭
pro: nashe
con: people
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decision-making so bad, my life is ran by people on twitter👍🏻
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for people barely living, aap chatt se kud kyu nhi jaate???
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I cracked interviews at McKinsey, Goldman & BfoA.
I didn't join any.
"HERE'S MY 10000rs COURSE, SO YOU CAN CRACK THEM"
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I love getting life advice from over-privileged brats, yeah man journaling would help me with my depressed life.
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flying jatt mera bff bff hai, aur ikloti mai uski gffffffff hun
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sorry, HR too cute. Apologised to me twice, now we all cool.👍🏻
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tehelka mach gaya patakhe footne lage bhai meri gand fatt ke hath mei aa gayi
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bhenchod & I love you, in the same sentence is the right stuff
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saw such a baddie in the metro, we made eye contact, now I am planning whether jaipur or udaipur will be a better place for getting married!!!!
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Om Birla is that class monitor who always makes noise, flirts with the girl-monitor, teachers-pet & whenever someone calls him out, he writes his name on board for punishment.
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this girl that I am talking to is what butter chicken would've been if it was a person
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hiding yourself from all your hinge matches on twitter is vv difficult 😭
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so this girl, she was a hinge match & now she posted a story w her boyfriend.
Am I supposed to congratulate her now?
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i wanna stay away from my phone, but then I have a wired earphone
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need want a political baddie😭
we can discuss democratic philosophies for starters
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men used to wear skirts while in war & I am contemplating wearing crop-top
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HR called, I didn't picked up, now she isn't picking up my calls.
BKL
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60yr, bald uncle sitting next to me, opened my twitter, saw Selena Gomez's boobs, got a thumbs up, Uncle passed the vibe check👍🏻
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bhai, the one time you are on the clock & everyone else isn't & you can't even blame them cuz you are the late one always is such a shit emotional state to be in
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acceptance & tolerance to dissent I believe is something we are lacking more & more, creating a Disney World where one disagreement often acts as the end of a companion-esque ship between two individuals or maybe it's just an online phenomenon, but yeah.. food for thought.
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I think daddy-issue is gender neutral but mommy-issue is guy-specific
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half the guys on twitter are for porn & the other half is to see their favourite girl talk about her fight for the metro seat, petting a stray dog & having a fight with their mom.
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sometimes, just sometimes.. I think of getting a pencil in my as-
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😭anant ki shaadi is the most clusterfuck I have ever seen, like bruh it's not even good.
This is straight out of Oggy & cockroaches.
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lately I have been wanting someone else to take my life decisions
anyone?
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all the fat kids are now in great shape.
who TF bullied them bc????
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if a rich girl is looking to get her mugs cleaned after coffee, I can help
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1:20 & I start craving KFC wings & Salman Rushdie's short stories
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"batsman dhamaka, bowler chapada, jhanda uccha rahe hamara"??????? wtf Sidhu??????
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"sucks to be you"
nope it sucks to be a human, I should've been a cat in the hands of my crush instead
meow🥺
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why do people watch gameplays, like why I gotta see someone else playing a game?
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i am sad, poor, my friends are travelling but I work in private equity
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okay, so this girl.
we were talking, she became vv chep all of a sudden & I lost interest. Anyways, yesterday I put up a ig story of smoking up & she reacted to it, wtv.
Now, she put me in her close friends & put a reel saying her crush was shit?
Is this what I think it is?
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so, I was travelling in metro & I saw two mustache uncle holding each other's waist.
progressiveness isn't too far😭😭
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if you can't carry 2 bisleri 6L racks by yourself then you are gay
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sabke breakups ho rahe hai.
thoda accha toh lagg raha hai ngl-
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why do I always end up liking the romantic reels even tho I am single as fuck?????
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moist is the vocabulary version of that creepy uncle you meet in laxminagar
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sorry I was just explaining my friend what is a synthetic Collateralised Debt Obligation is & why big investment fund shorted it during the mortgage crisis of '08
while making the chutney for my dhokla
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me during whole time : 😖😣😵
me when mom says, "aaj biryani bann rahi hai" : 🥰🥰🥰
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Ambani ki shaadi khatam hote hote, meri bhi pre-wedding start ho jaayegi
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people who are pursuing masters in literature, congratulations for deep diving into spatial knowledge of things which half the people won't care about, but it might sound cool.
"magical realism"
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y'all, bookmark this
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the only girl I'll stop my heart for is Mrs.Incredible(& this girl I saw on the metro on 8th of July)
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