MistressUniverse
@fuckbuddiesxxx
Followers
825
Following
120
Media
507
Statuses
528
I'm proud of my new design, called My Tribute to MistressLatex, I hope you like it, it really means a lot to me. Moreover. #Mistress I love you!
Joined June 2016
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🎩
#FollowBack
One lesson I learned in hospital- If you are attached to the heart monitor and you masturb...
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#AutoFollowBack
The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I dont remember most of it.
#fap
#ff
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🎈
#InstantFollowBack
Is it just me, or does Come down the chimney sound like a really bad sext?
#sfs
#ff
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🔱
#FOLLOWBACK
Any football game can be the Super Bowl if you expose your nipple during the halftime show...
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💹
#TEAMFOLLOWWACK
I dont remember it, but I know I must have had sex last night because my stuffed anima...
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#TeamFollowback
How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Re...
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#SundressSunday
Condom commercials should just be 30 seconds of crying babies pooping and vomiting all...
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#autofollowback
Theres something about having a penis that just makes you want to bang dirty, dirty sl...
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👵
#SelfieSunday
Hey, women who breastfeed in public... Whats with you not winking back?
#ass
#ff
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#FOLLOWBACK
Most guys dicks are like a Nintendo cartridge; if its not working, pull it out, blow on it...
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#MakeitAnalMonday
Do you congratulate someone for getting bigger tits, or is that a no no?
#hot
#ff
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🌅
#hawaiigirls
Never really been that into anal sex. I feel guilty imagining my sperm swimming in a woma...
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#FOLLOWBACK
Naked selfies dont work. Dick Pics dont work. If you truly want to impress a woman, send he...
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✉
#TeamFollowWack
Teenagers these days spend all their time on shit like Kik, Snapchat and Instagram. Its...
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#QuintaComOClubeSDV
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. Ok, fine, mannequin. But she d...
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👖
#SelfieSunday
Whenever I motorboat a stripper, I spend more time on the left boob cuz its closer to th...
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💊
#QuintaDeTremura
So, apparently if you need to use saliva as a lubricant for sex, it is appreciated by...
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🚫
#AutoFollowback
Im not saying her pussy is nasty, but she stuck in a cucumber and pulled out a pickle....
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🉐
#INSTANTFOLLOWBACK
It has been said that the queen honey bee has sex with up to at least forty males i...
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💫
#INSTANTFOLLOWBACK
When Ive finished fucking my wife, she likes to wait a while and then do it again. ...
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🐰
#TeamFollowback
Ladies, your kids dont need to meet every guy you date. Neither does your vagina.
#kik
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💲
#ChocolateSunday
You put your left arm in. You pull your left arm out. You put your left arm in, and y...
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🔼
#ThonglessThursday
The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I dont remember most of it.
#jav
#ff
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🐡
#ShowYourSexyThick
Ladies, its quite simple really ..there are only two things a man wants, his belly ...
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🍩
#TeamFollowBack
Im a musician first a food-lover second a dirty mouth with feet and a girl last time I...
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💅
#instantfollowback
Remember, he doesnt love you for your sparkling personality. He loves you because y...
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😚
#MirrorMonday
A wedding dress is like a regular dress thats never sucking cock ever again..
#sex
#ff
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⁉
#followbackall
Never really been that into anal sex. I feel guilty imagining my sperm swimming in a wom...
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🎮
#WetWednesday
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that take off my bra and make it...
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🎓
#INSTANTFOLLOWBACK
Hands wife a couple of aspirin. Wife asks whats this for? I dont have a headache! I...
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💾
#NaoMeLeveASerioMeLevePra
My vacuum mustve gotten married because it doesnt suck like it used to.
#f4f
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◽
#UsoTwitterPQ
Break the ice on a first date by slowly sliding a picture of your penis across the table....
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#followback
Santa left me a porn DVD this year. I guess thats his way of saying Youre not on the kids ...
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📷
#SuicideGirlS
All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket...
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↩
#MILFMonday
You put your left arm in. You pull your left arm out. You put your left arm in, and you sha...
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#FOLLOWBACK
Humor is a great way to get a woman into your bed, but handcuffs are the best way to keep ...
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#FollowBack
Mrs. Clause came tonight at our house, and she is going to come again in a few minutes.
#hd
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#WyldoutWednesday
Not when truth is dirty but when it is shallow does the enlightened man dislike to w...
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🐚
#TEAMFOLLOWBACK
I call my penis the Yule Log because it only comes out once a year, and even then it a...
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☁
#AutoFollowback
Many times in 2013, I have annoyed you & grossed you out with my perverted antics. ...
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📡
#followback
Hey girl, are you a bowling ball? Because I wanna stick my fingers in you and act like I k...
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