✨@foundbysara on insta
@foundbysara
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(she/they 🏳️⚧️) artist, zinester, and accidental wrestling fan. I love easily. 🌈♿✨ @foundbysara on insta and (oh god) tumblr
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Joined October 2008
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HEY IT’S ZINE CLUB!
I make a monthlyish zine where I write jokes/draw pictures/talk about depression, and about once a month I put it all on paper and mail it to your house
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my rule of thumb for corvids:
if it makes you go, "hm, is that a raven?" it is a crow. if it makes you go HOLY SHIT THAT'S THE BIGGEST BIRD I'VE EVER SEEN—*that* is a raven.
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this is, unfortunately, the funniest thing that has ever happened to anyone
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okay so a neat thing about QUENCH is that it's an extant causative form of a word that no longer exists in English!
i love that the word quench sounds like what it does
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"It's THE MOST SWINGER TATTOO you can get without getting a swinger tattoo Imao"
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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't DRENCH it.
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George Floyd was my neighbor. Daunte Wright was my neighbor.
Why can’t THEY go home, Tim?
Let’s be clear: The brave men and women of the Minnesota National Guard are our neighbors.
They’re teachers, health care workers, and business owners who live in communities across our state.
This is unacceptable. They can’t “go home” — this is their home.
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if you’re cold they’re cold
put them in your computer
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my dad mailed me an envelope of dirt with no explanation and i am losing my mind over it
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MINNEAPOLIS GOTHIC
35W is under construction. 35W has always been under construction. Your friend’s mother says she remembers driving the entire stretch once, long ago. You don’t believe her.
a squirrel tries to make eye contact with you. You know better than to acknowledge it.
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ranking the Minnesota state flag submissions based on how menacing their loons are:
The ladyslippers-as-spots lure you into a false sense of security, but that glinting red eye can’t be hidden
🐟🐟🐟⚪️⚪️
3/5 terrified walleyes
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tired: why did my dad sent me an envelope of Mystery Dirt
wired: why didn't he send me as much Mystery Dirt as he sent my siblings
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Does anybody have a recommendation for a printer that just, like, works? I don't want to join an ink club, I don't want to have to be connected to some Big Brother software that monitors my usage, I don't want to reboot and reinstall everything everyday. I JUST WANT TO PRINT.
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we eventually confronted him
he was confused that we were confused by it (??!!??)
OBVIOUSLY, it was red dust that he used to tint the stucco he was using on the chicken coop
he sent it "so you'd know what color the stucco was"
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"oh good, an envelope of dirt. I was HOPING dad would show me what color his new stucco was, and since there's no such thing as a photograph, this is the most sensible way to do that!"
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SENCH: to make SINK
QUENCH: to make QUINK
which brings me, at long last, to my favorite joke in the English language:
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it turns out if you sit still in a pumpkin patch for half an hour the vines will claim you
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oh my god
this is it
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cannot express to you all how deeply and desperately I love my family
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So! if you QUENCH a flame and make it disappear...
or QUENCH your thirst and cause it to go away...
well, it sure would be cool if QUINK meant disappear, wouldn't it?
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IMPORTANT UPDATE: my sister got an envelope of dirt today!!
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update: a source of some consternation, my middle brother never received his envelope of Mystery Dirt
today it made it back to Dad, due postage
(how embarrassing)
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I have great news:
It did.
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this is why we can’t ask dad about the dirt, btw
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this is very good
I like where your head's at
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and we love him so much
@MulletBraid
@foundbysara
This right here. The man has clearly achieved levels of dadding that I can only ever aspire to, and a physical pun like this feels like it fits that narrative.
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me: *fumbling around in the dark, knocking things off the nightstand, trying to find my phone*
me: I URGENTLY NEED TO TEXT MY SIBLINGS
partner, rudely awakened: …it is 4:30 in the morning
me: I KNOW BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT
partner: “notification at 4:30am” important?
me: YES
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to be clear, this is EXACTLY what happened
@foundbysara
i like that your dad obviously carefully weighed the packages with the dad-approved postal scale and added the extra stamp only to the packages that needed it
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if you are satisfied with the "chips off the old block" resolution, stop reading now
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sister is broadening the investigation and checking in with the cousins, who have great questions about the situation
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My youngest brother apparently received more dirt than me; Dad sprung for the extra ounce stamp with him 🤔
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(No one's out here claiming the past participle of "milkshake duck" is something wild like "milkshake dacken," you know?)
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Strong verbs tend to be really old! They've been part of English (and middle English, and old English, and anglo-frisian, and West Germanic, and...) for a long time!
When we invent new verbs, we tend to make 'em simple.
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to understand what's going on here, the first thing we need to establish are causative verbs
A causative verb is a verb that, well... causes (or makes!) something.
For example, if you ELECTRIFY something, you make it electric. If you UGLIFY something, you make it ugly.
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It has two heads! It looks to both the future AND the past!! It is unstoppable and all-knowing!!!
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
5/5 terrified walleyes
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I got pinged nonmachinable once for sending a PAPERCLIP and my dad is out here sending entire bricks through the mail with nought but a first-class stamp??
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It is almost time to leave. “Let me send you home with some leftovers,” your host says. It is almost time to leave. “It’s going to be a hot one tomorrow,” someone says. It is almost time to leave. It is always almost time to leave. You have never left anywhere in your life.
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we literally have a neighborhood groupchat where people are like "I'm depressed and haven't eaten all day will someone please bring me chili" and then someone does
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Fun fact: Wisconsin, where Dad lives, has a state dirt:
ANTIGO SILT LOAM
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god bless us, every one
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(I weighed it with the postal scale my dad gave me, which is identical to the one he has and would have used to calibrate his Dirt Amount)
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her kitchen scale isn't giving consistent readings, so we're waiting for an official weight result from her Dad-Approved-Postal-Scale
(he gave us all postal scales for Christmas one year I think)
BUT, preliminary info: her envelope had an "additional ounce" stamp on it
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if I die mysteriously in the next seven days, know that it was after receiving an envelope of Mystery Dirt
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we don't take kindly to incorrect postage in these here parts 🤠 📬
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A stadium full of people. The sky is dark. A tornado siren begins to blare. No one pays attention. It’s Wednesday. Tornados can’t hurt you on Wednesdays,
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my youngest brother ALSO received an envelope of dirt in the mail, a couple days ago.
our middle two siblings are not in the Dirt Club (yet??)
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sometimes one word, or the other, didn't make it all the way to the future when we are today
remember SINK—SANK—SUNK?
well, once upon a time, if you were to make something SINK, you would... SENCH it
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(we see -IFY as a causative signal in less obvious settings, too!
Think about PACIFY=make calm, VERIFY=make true, DEIFY=make god)
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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
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he’s already avoided giving an explanation
it has to be a test
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There are also causative/non-causative verb pairs that aren't obviously derived from each other
if you SHOW someone, you cause them to SEE
If you TEACH someone, you cause them to LEARN
If you FEED someone, you cause them to EAT!
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So where we today might -IFY a verb if we wanted to signal it was causative, the languages Modern English descended from had their own signals
and long story short (too late?): two of those signals were 1.) Changing vowel sounds and 2.) Making the new verb weak instead of strong
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the manila envelope thing is Extremely Dad Vibes which somehow only makes the whole thing stranger
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It is November, and Jacob Frey has just banned no-knock warrants. It is February, and Jacob Frey has just banned no-knock warrants. It is April, and Jacob Frey has just banned no-knock warrants.
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RESULT: technically over one ounce! the extra stamp is justified!
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It snows in April. “Sometimes it snows in April,” everyone says. You hear it over and over. “Sometimes it snows in April.” You have lived here for twenty years, and it has always snowed in April. “Sometimes it snows in April,” you hear on the radio. “Sometimes it snows in April.”
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(this is not the dirt he sent us, but I think it’s still kinda a fun fact)
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same thing with LIE!
You LIE on the bed. You LAY there yesterday, too. You've LAIN there every day for a long time.
You LAY the blanket on the bed. You LAID it there yesterday, too. You've LAID it there every day for a long time.
regular: LIE—LAY—LAIN
causative LAY—LAID—LAID
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anyway, the point is that these strong verbs have a history. a heritage. They've got a story.
SINK comes to us from Old English SINCAN (...SANC, SUNCEN)
DRINK comes from DRINCAN (...DRANC, DRUNCEN)
STINK from STINCAN, WRING from WRINGAN,
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you might WRING a washcloth, but if you were mad you could WRENCH it out if someone else's hands
you trash can could STINK. You might even say it's had a STENCH.
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The next thing I wanna talk about is irregular (or "strong") and regular ("weak") verbs.
Strong verbs are the ones with weird past tenses that you had to memorize in grade school.
SINK—SANK—SUNK
DRINK—DRANK—DRUNK
STINK—STANK—STUNK
WRING—WRANG—WRUNG
HANG—HUNG—HUNG
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a man you’ve never seen before waves you over to the back of his van. “Tamales, one dollar,” he says. “Special for you.” You buy a tamale. It is the best goddamn thing you’ve ever eaten. You never see the man, or his van, ever again. You never stop looking.
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like OBVIOUSLY if he WERE going to send dirt it would be in a small packet precisely handmade from manila envelope and scotch tape
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A charming moment from the museum last week!
A little girl, sewing a button for the first time, whispering to herself:
“I’m like the Other Mother now.”
@neilhimself
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Everyone is so nice here. Everyone says so. Everyone is just so nice. You have never been inside your best friend’s house. But everyone is so nice here. You repeat it like a prayer. Everyone is so nice.
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Update: the combo of dirt+packet+mailing envelope weighs approximately 7/8 of an ounce
coming in *just* under the wire for a forever stamp
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BIG ups to the laser-eyed loon caucus, incredible work here, 5/5 terrified walleyes all round
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
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Here's one that's been fossilized in legal language: you might say that an apple HUNG from a tree, but the state HANGED a man
(HANG—HANGED—HANGED)
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@sarapod07
I have a degree in Germanic philology and have the opportunity to use it about once a decade 😅
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this feels like a test and i don't know the answer!
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and without getting too deep in the weeds of historical linguistics here, both the original verbs and the derived causative verbs slowly evolved into Modern English
Language changes in a lot of ways, and those words don't always mean exactly the same thing they used to...
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It’s Monday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. It’s Tuesday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. It’s Wednesday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. How many identical shirts does he have, you wonder. How many identical babies.
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A tourist asks you directions to the lake.”which one,” you ask, and they look at you strangely. “THE lake,” they repeat, and icy fear grips your heart. “THE lake.”
It is cold outside. You enter the mall of America, and warmth embraces you. The air is heated with human bodies.
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RISE—ROSE—RISEN
FALL—FELL—FALLEN
SIT—SET—SET
LIE—LAY—LAIN
DRIVE—DROVE—DRIVEN
GROW—GREW—GROWN
BLOW—BLEW—BLOWN
TAKE—TOOK—TAKEN
SHAKE—SHOOK—SHAKEN
...you get it!
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But they're recognisable! There are patterns!
Looking again at our strong verb list above, we've got some familiar friends
what do you do if you want something to RISE? You RAISE (RAISED—RAISED) it.
What if you want to cause a tree to FALL? You FELL (FELLED—FELLED) it!
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RISE from RISAN (...RAS, RISEN), FALL from FEALLAN (...FEOLL, FEALLEN), SIT from SITTAN (...SÆT, SETEN), LIE from LICGAN (..LÆG, LEGEN), DRIVE from DRIFAN (...DRAF, DRIFEN), GROW from GROWAN (...GREOW, GROWEN) etc, etc
you can start to see some patterns!
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The university has made another new apple. It is red and golden and beautiful. Dread fills your stomach as you gaze at it. It is so beautiful. So, so beautiful. You know better than to touch.
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bonus mystery: the dirt DIDN'T arrive postage due, despite the fact that it absolutely should have incurred a nonmachinable surcharge??
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GREAT question
scratch test, streak test, fizz test, and taste test are now on the to-do list 🧪
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the dirt is not obvious in its origin.
I suspect it may be crushed brick?
i do not recognize it as dirt from my parents' backyard OR my grandparents' farm, which seem like the only two places that would merit a sentimental dirt delivery?
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this loon will destroy you and everyone you love.
🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟
5/5 terrified walleyes
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You SIT on the chair. Yesterday you SAT there, too . You have SAT there every day for a long time.
You have an apple. You SET it on the chair. You SET it there yesterday, too. You have SET it there every day for a long time.
regular: SIT—SAT—SAT
causative: SET—SET—SET
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when someone has been an asshole for years without: experiencing consequences
and you introduce consequences for the first time
he will be furious
and everyone else around him will identify YOU as the problem
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Today is a snow emergency. Yesterday was a snow emergency. Tomorrow will be a snow emergency. There are no numbers on your street. The tow trucks circle menacingly.
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I would die to protect her
🐟⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️
1/5 terrified walleyes, 5/5 in my heart
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like I said earlier, language changes over time, and the modern words that descended from stuff like WRINGAN don't always have a one-to-one meaning correlation with their ancestors
but we've got patterns to look at, and they're gonna help us out here
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there is finer dust in the envelope, but a lot of it is these big chunks, which seem very brick-like to me
it could be sentimental brick dust from the farm?
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wracking my mind for all Dad-related dirt references, trying to figure this out
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the big head holds a big brain, the better to plot your demise with
🐟🐟🐟🐟⚪️
4/5 terrified walleyes
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(I made a typo here, SIT should be SIT—SAT—SAT)
(it's not a great spot to have made a typo, because I'm about to break a pattern a little bit, but stick with me)
RISE—ROSE—RISEN
FALL—FELL—FALLEN
SIT—SET—SET
LIE—LAY—LAIN
DRIVE—DROVE—DRIVEN
GROW—GREW—GROWN
BLOW—BLEW—BLOWN
TAKE—TOOK—TAKEN
SHAKE—SHOOK—SHAKEN
...you get it!
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The new Prince mural is being revealed. You are certain it has been there for years. There is fanfare. Someone cuts a ribbon. It is so familiar. The new Prince mural is being revealed.
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here is the note I wrote and left on the windshield of the car
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