kyle o’hehir
@financeguy725
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distressed real estate credit
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Joined March 2014
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Pinned Tweet
STRIP MALL DEAL UPDATE 🏬🏪🍕
As promised, here's an update on the biggest non-performing loan we've acquired out of our new fund (as always, numbers are rounded for readability)
👇🧵
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sorta gotta hand it to boomers
buying all the houses then making houses illegal was genius
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people shit on ohio, but where else can you get a cheeseburger, fries, and a 1500 sqft house for $4.99
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it takes real guts to stand up and admit you're the dumbest guy in a room full of idiots
Taking out a loan to go to a finance conference is wild behavior
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Our 10 person team has worked 20 years
That’s 200 years of experience
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I have watched this 19 times, it is a defining moment for the genre
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Real estate millionaires don’t drive Honda accords because they are into poor-core aesthetic
They do it because they’re illiquid and buying water heaters on credit
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HOW TO HIRE GOOD ATTORNEYS
"Your partner hired me, he has to fire me, not you!."
i handed my phone to my partner over the pizza we were having for lunch
"Joe, fire this piece of shit for me"
first casualty of many
here's my process for finding lawyers who don't suck 👇🧵
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I was a bank teller in cleveland for a summer
I'm gonna breakdown what's going on with these European investment banks 🧵👇
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What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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Them: “Why did you get into real estate?”
Me: “Who is the richest dumbass you know?”
Them: “Oh shit”
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being W-2 rich is weird
nice G wagon, but u have a curfew?
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One of the cool things about real estate is that it is so dumb tech cannot disrupt it
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A lot of people ask me how to get into CRE
It all starts with a 2.0 GPA
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Other than rich parents, I am increasingly convinced that the biggest indicator of future business success is a high tolerance for pain
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HOW TO BUY YOUR FIRST HOUSE
before getting into credit, I bought a bunch of residential real estate
first time home-buying friends ask for my advice on the clown show that is THE BIGGEST PURCHASE OF YOUR LIFE
Here's my no bullshit guide to buying your first house 👇🧵
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The valet got my car, I handed him a $10 bill
I paused and said
“Excuse me, how long does it take you to bring a car to the valet stand on average?”
“I don’t know man, 2 minutes?”
Using techniques I learned on twitter, I annualized this rate and realized he was a millionaire
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Hated the sunday scaries when I had a job
So I started a company and now have the everyday scaries
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underwriting is more fun when you realize every strange request is tied to a borrower who fucked the bank in that exact way
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Trying to figure out which of these to pursue
MBA
CFA
KMS
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𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗨𝗬 𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗡-𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗡
Here's a real life example of a 23% unlevered return deal we closed this week out of our new fund!
I'm gonna walk you through how we found the deal, how we underwrote it, and what the play is now
👇🧵
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A non-exhaustive list of edges:
- cheapest debt
- richest equity
- willingness to get dirty
- can learn shit
- writes good
- appetite for litigation
- can make pretty things
- doesn’t mind ugly things
- reads docs
- can talk to people
- can find weird shit
- knows mechanics
-
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@maxdubler
The most important qualification for writing about gentrification is not knowing a single poor person
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No real estate investor has both
1. Cash
2. Real estate
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If you’ve tweeted about eggs or gas prices in the last 12 months I have bad news
You’re not an accredited investor
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NEWBIE GUIDE TO REAL ESTATE FINANCING
You found a killer deal, but now what?
A breakdown of one of my first deals and how I financed it👇🧵
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FINDING LITIGATORS
stay away from big name do-everything firms
big jack of all trades law firms charge high hourly rates for being masters of nothing
find someone specialized and local who's familiar with the clerks and judges and the hyperlocal quirks
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Sent a dude a notice of default and he said
“This is just media bro”
No idea what it means but this is gonna be a fun foreclosure
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Trying to checkout of this airbnb, but apparently i have to split 4 cords of firewood first???
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Millennials waiting for a housing crash to pay 1.5 million for a home that last sold for 200k in 1991
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“It’s a lot more sophisticated than just trolling. It’s an engagement funnel, that makes people really angry, but eventually they give me money to buy self storage in upstate New York. I don’t actually believe any of it, except kids should sleep in their parents’ bed”
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I know someone with a $270k finance degree from Cornell
Back office Lazard 4 years after graduation
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What's the best performing asset over the last 5 years?
Most people guess Tesla or Bitcoin
but it's Airbnb cleaning fees
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Here's the financial model from my first real estate deal
And a thread showing you how to use it 👇🧵
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You can only get generational wealth when you stop trading your time for money
Schedule an hour paid consulting call with me to learn more
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I have the best pipeline I've seen in the nearly 5 years since I left Wall Street
Last few months, I've spent ~80% of my time doing things I love
It didn't happen overnight, lots of fuckups along the way
A huge challenge I still struggle with:
LINE OF SIGHT
🧵👇
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@charliewrich
50% self storage syndicators and 50% crypto
He will be a millionaire in no time
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The fact that an 18-year old can take out a $500,000 student loan but can't take out a $500,000 dollar bank loan with $700,000 of seller financing and $500,000 of equity to acquire self storage with a 5% acquisition fee and 70/30 over 5% tells you everything you need to know.
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mfs be like i'm a value-add multifamily syndicator
bro you are striping parking lots with dentist money to raise rents on lower middle class families
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FINDING DEALS WITH CHATGPT
Here's an alpha leak look at the internal sourcing system I use to find deals 👇🧵
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city: slumlords ran these buildings into the ground, hopefully someone will fix them up
me (an idiot): ok, i will do it
city: it's been a month, what's going on?
me: i'm waiting for you to give me permits
city: okay, we're going to fine you for not fixing them
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The morons running rental relief just emailed every landlord in the state and forgot to bcc...
It's a bloodbath
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Ever meet someone decently senior, solid experience, fine network, pretty personable, and think:
this dude hasn’t ever created a dollar of value for anyone
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I bought 34 small business in the last 6 months using only $15 and seller financing
I’m sending this tweet from my hospital bed
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Bill ackman ran his first successful activist campaign at 57
Never give up on your dreams
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My old boss had 50mm with a financial institution and couldn’t get them to loan him 5mm to buy a house
I think about that a lot
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THIRD QUESTION: Are you a dickhead?
The response you want is laughter and a gruff "depends who you ask"
I have settled suits simply because the other side loathed my counsel
this isn't a friendly disagreement, this is a fucking street fight; hire counsel who knows it
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Lender just asked if they can get all the tenants’ eighth grade report cards
Is this normal?
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i am trying to imagine being this fucking dumb and i actually cannot even do it
Interesting. Banks starting to not trust one another with funds.
Understandable
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BREAKING: Trump Says Paying $465 Million Fraud Bond is a 'Practical Impossibility' in New Court Filing
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DISTRESSED REAL ESTATE CREDIT INVESTING:
HOW TO UNDERWRITE NON-PERFORMING LOANS 📉🗒️💵
by popular demand, here's how I would underwrite a bad loan opportunity 🧵👇
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Class A RE twitter: has anyone tried adding dry cleaning for dog tuxedos as an amenity?
Class C RE twitter: what’s the cheapest way to clean up a lot (2-5 quarts) of blood?
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I only ever ask one interview question:
If supplied with a handgun and 8 ounces of gold, could you install a puppet government in a country with a population of 50 million or fewer?
Yes gets the job, no gets the door
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Taking a Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s person to a real grocery store is like Yeltsin walking into one in 1989
They cannot comprehend the abundance and low prices
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Smart people with their shit together assume others are also smart and have their shit together
It’s their greatest weakness
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i'd like to see more housing built as much as everyone, but it has to be the RIGHT KIND
- 1 elevator per unit
- 3 parking spaces per bedroom
- 100% affordable
- somewhere that i don't go
- near transit, but not schools or parks
- passive house
- developer cannot profit
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FUND LAUNCH
Happy New Year everyone! 🥳🎉🎊
We're kicking 2024 off by launching an opportunistic fund to take advantage of mispricings in real estate credit
You can read our deck and invest at the below link
Check out the 🧵 for our thesis 👇
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Google maps is your friend here, but if you need a litigator, perusing court cases and seeing who reps the parties is even better
and with rare exceptions: DO NOT HIRE AN LITIGATOR RECOMMENDED BY ANOTHER ATTORNEY
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We all shitting on her but this is the finance industry
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the beauty of back-to-back calls means you will be able to quickly spot the actual standouts
society holds attorneys in a bizarrely high regard
but really, most attorneys are just someone who couldn't get a good job out of undergrad; remember that as you screen them
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try to avoid dental appointments until at least 2025
these guys have to fill and cap everything to make up for syndicator distributions getting slashed
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this didn't get a lot of action, but it's fundamental to my worldview and a lot of what i do
why this matters 🧵
Very few people understand the full mechanics of anything start to finish
Operating their lives and businesses based on shadows on the wall
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SECOND QUESTION: What is the most aggressive move you made to advance your client's interest?
Most counsel is content to let senile judges and lazy clerks knock their clients around while they stack billable hours
You want counsel you will represent you ruthlessly
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Lots of punchlines here, but seriously
wtf kind of problems can be solved by a rando off the street, but not someone inside your company????
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no one ever got rich off operating income
the game is all about big ass capital events
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early on, i got a threatening letter from an ambulance chaser whose client who was allegedly bitten by my tenant's dog
i looked up the zillow value of the lawyer's house
300k
i chuckled and tore up the letter
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am hearing rumors that housing is cheap in places where few people want to live 🤔
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FRIDAY DEAL TEARDOWN 🏗️🏢🧵
Closed on our first real estate deal since Q1 2020. It's a sweet little bit of everything that we've gotten good at.
Here's how it went down👇
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Whenever I see some new SaaS for contractors/construction I have to wonder
Has anyone in tech ever met anyone in construction
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DISTRESSED REAL ESTATE INVESTOR PLAYBOOK
You can't turn on the news without seeing commentary on how commercial real estate is fucked
but every fuckee has a fuckor and that could be YOU
Here's the moves you need to land great distressed deals despite high-interest rates🧵👇
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property management is assuming the worst and finding out there is a worse worst
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Outside of these questions, you should treat hiring counsel like you would treat hiring employees
9/10 counsel that comes off as aloof are incompetent
no f-bombs == no retainer
again, this isn't fucking high tea or a polo match
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Shooting the shit with some rando while getting my oil changed
Asked what I did for work
Told him I own real estate
He rubbed his fingers together, making the universal sign for cash money
I nodded and quickly turned my head away so he wouldn’t see my tears
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THE CRITERIA
FIRST QUESTION: What percent of your work is the area of law I need?
If it's less than 50%, move on
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Them: we’re thinking about buying a house, but are going to wait a bit. We think the market is gonna tank
Me: Mortgage rates more than doubled and home prices went up, why would they drop now?
Them: saw something about it online
Me: sounds about right
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Zillow wasted billions on an algorithm to value real estate
All you have to do is go look at the tax assessor’s website!
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really couldn't have happened to a nicer, humbler industry tbh
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8 hours for what is best case a 5k check
Seems like this just screens out founders who value their time correctly
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4 years ago i got dinner with an older, nameless wall street guy
told him i saw opportunities to buy small (sub-25mm) non-performing loans
his first question: "do you even have an office?"
this week i'm buying an office building
shut the fuck up and do shit
This is the most painful mistake when starting a new business:
Playing House.
I see it, and I... cringe.
--
It happens like this:
• Your lawyer says, "File an LLC!"
• Your mom asks, "What is called?"
• Your broker asks, "Where is the office?"
• Your business incubator
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