Feral Spamlet, Thundering Dumbass
@feralspamlet
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loved sinner. struggling stoic. @caro__bob ’s boy toy. amor fati. he/him🇻🇦🏳️🌈
Austin, TX
Joined February 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I was suspended on my first day of kindergarten for pulling the fire alarm.
Why did I pull the fire alarm?
Because I was learning how to read, and noticed that the fire alarm said “pull down.”
90 days. Suspended for 90 days. Mom was interviewed for local news and everything.
Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a lie but is absolutely true.
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I was so traumatized that I never finished learning how to read. The only two words I can read are “pull” and “down”
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HOLY SHIT BAHAHAHAHA
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@thymeIord
Ohhhhh I never even thought to look for an article online! I just assumed that, since it was 1996 and I was 5 years old, that there wouldn’t be an online news article. Now I’m curious and gonna look lol
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My grandfather died last night. I’m still at a loss for words. Please pray for my family, and for the repose of my grandfather’s soul. His name was William.
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@guyintheduster
Rowan we’ve known each other for almost 7 years how have I never told you this story before lmfao
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@thymeIord
Can’t find anything rn. BUT, I’m actually going home to visit Mom in Tennessee next week; imma ask her to find the tape & I’ll see if I can’t finesse it lol
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Confession: I’ve dealt with depression basically since I was 12, but this year in particular it’s probably been at its worst. The entire year. I’m not fishing for compliments or reassurance, but I am asking for prayers. Because I really don’t like the dude I’ve been.
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@lizzy_strom
There are two types of men in this world: those who love banana bread, and sinners in the hands of an angry god
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When I entered the Church in 2014, only two people came to the Easter Vigil: a lapsed Catholic whom I was dating at the time, and my atheist best friend.
This Saturday, I’ll be watching that atheist friend’s reception into the Greek Orthodox Church.
God is good. Pray for him.
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Still no power (13 hours now). It is cold. All surrounding roads are ice.
No man should have to go without Whataburger for this long.
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I feel bad for the Mormon missionaries who just walked up to me. They must have had a weird experience. I’m smoking a joint and wearing a Misfits shirt, and when they asked who Jesus is to me I rattled off a long Catholic answer
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lmfaOOOOO at Catholics who legit believe in some spookily pernicious “gay agenda” but think systemic racism is a made up thing
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As a Catholic, this is my extremely simplistic take on the drag nuns: I care more about the hurt caused to the drag nuns by the Church during the AIDS crisis than I do about the hurt feelings caused to Catholics by their drag nun show.
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“The Church can’t change its teaching on homosexuality!” The Church changed its teaching on extra Ecclesiam nulla salus lmfao if they can change that then they can change their minds on gay people
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“Yeah, and postpartum can be used as a fake excuse to withhold sex.”
Is it not widely known that women, as fellow human persons, like sex too?
Is this not common knowledge?
Why the conspiratorial paranoia about “withholding sex”? lol
@meowingabyss
@leah_hat
Yeah, and postpartum can be used as a fake excuse to withhold sex.
That is the part you are slow to recognize here.
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Normalize disbelieving in Marian apparitions.
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“wHy dON’t CAtHOlICS gO TO cONFEsSIoN??”
maybe parishes having only one priest on duty for a single Saturday afternoon confession wherein you wait in line for over an hour idk it’s anyone’s guess really
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Wishing all my Muslim friends a happy Ramadan.
Wishing all Catholics upset about that a merry Shut The Fuck Up.
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I stopped smoking pot last month. I decided last week to cut back about 90% of my drinking.
This week I radically overhauled my diet and cut out all fast/fried food, and did hour long cardio everyday (still can’t lift weights because of my elbow)
Friends, I feel amazing.
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Christ did not die for a fertility cult what the fuck is wrong with you people
Hot take: Marriage and raising a family is God's design for humanity. Beware of Christian teachers who denigrate being married and having children. Chaste singleness is a holy calling that some are called to but it's not meant to be the norm.
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Look man. I want to be super hype about this. I really, genuinely do.
But seeing the specific trend of reactionary, harmful figures being the converts to the Faith? Idk man it’s getting demoralizing
Recently, I made the decision to go home. There is of course so much more that went into this decision and that I plan to share in the future.
But for now, praise be to God for His gentle, but relentless guiding of my heart toward Truth.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do
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Dating as a Catholic is weird
“I want a good virtuous Catholic man”
yeah well I’m just a degenerate with a rosary doing his best so😂you best trot along elsewhere
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As a Catholic with a degree in philosophy, I still don’t understand Catholicism’s obsession with Aquinas and Thomism. When you consider the genius of Augustine, Origen, Gregory of Nyssa, and others, I just don’t “get” the Church’s semi-official elevation of Aquinas as The Guy 🤷🏻♂️
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I wonder how many sins are ultimately committed because at bottom we refuse to believe that we’re loved
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@Chris_SmithsJ
Mom still has the VHS tape of her being interviewed by local news later in the day. It’s stashed in the attic somewhere. I need to holler at her and see if she can find it for me😂😂
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As Roman Catholics, we are called to be people of truth, to affirm it wherever we find it.
Sinead O’Connor told the truth.
If that bothers you, consult your conscience.
After Sinead O'Connor ripped up a photo of Pope John Paul II in 1992, protesting sex abuse in the church, Boston's Cardinal Bernard Law called it "a gesture of hate" and "neo-anti-Catholicism," the Boston Globe reported. Law would resign 10 years later for covering up abuse.
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@Chris_SmithsJ
Around that same age (give or take a year), Mom took me to this delightful old woman’s yard sale and, repeating words I’d heard adults say: I said to Mom, in front of this 80 something year old woman, “momma what the hell fuck are we doing here momma??”
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alright fellas,
in the Year of St. Joseph, it’s time for you boys to Wife Up
get to it
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@dogfanhan
ADHD notoriously makes absent any semblance of informed consent when cheeks are involved
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confirmed Catholic 6 years ago today wow what a wild ride
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For every Catholic that loves LGBT people, they straddle a certain line: their love for LGBT people, and their adherence to Church teaching.
For me, then, the reason I’m comfortable as a dissident is that I’d rather my ecclesial epistemology be messy than my love be deficient.
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So we’re having a bit of a Rough One here in Texas.
Some prayers would be appreciated.
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Honestly, I’m just really bummed out today.
If you can spare a quick prayer on my behalf ya boy would appreciate it.
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The problem with the Catholic Church in America isn’t that it’s in grand need of revived enthusiasm for the Eucharist; the problem with the Catholic Church in America is that its clergy has broken the trust of the laity & have shattered their moral credibility.
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“If Christ is truly your king, then what have you done for the stranger? If Christ is truly your king, then what have you done for the sick and the hungry, imprisoned, and naked? Christ the King is not impressed by our words, our sentimental religion; he simply is not impressed.”
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Leaving aside the reality of serious theological disagreement: do you ever ponder the fact that the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church aren’t in full communion and just get super bummed about it?
Because I do.
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and now I’m on the side of the interstate. Car crash. I’m fine but my car is totaled. Two hours awa from home.
I guess I’ll update when I have one to give but send up prayers in the meantime.
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Not paying your workers a living wage is a sin send tweet
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“I need to close out my case”
“Why?”
“Because my spouse and I went to marriage counseling and reconciled”
I don’t get to see that very often but when I do it’s really nice
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if you think that Church teaching re sexual ethics is right, good for you. I agree.
but if today's news is somehow Catholic Victory to you, as though Fighting The Gays were some intrinsic part of the gospel message, then please
from the bottom of my heart
just fuck off already
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“yeah well the Catholic Church is no more likely to commit/cover up sexual assault than other churches/schools/etc”
I *loathe* this talking point. Whether it’s true or not, it’s only said to save face for the Church.
It says nothing about “so how do we make it stop??”
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they are human beings, sons and daughters of the living God, who have been far more gracious with the Church than the Church has been to them
opinions on the lgbt community thatll get you this reaction? dont be shy!
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in your charity, please pray for a special intention.
I won’t go into specifics because it’s not my business to, but it would mean a lot to me.
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For reasons entirely external to religion: practicing seasons of intentional celibacy while in a relationship (married or not) is good and worthwhile. It reminds you that your partner is a person worth loving for their own sake, rather than a mere sexual partner.
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If you’re a Catholic on the left-end of the theological spectrum (ie pro-LGBT, pro marginalized people, anti-racist, anti-sexist, etc.), why are you still Catholic?
Asking because frankly I’m looking for a reason to stay rather than go elsewhere lmao because shit’s getting worse
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I’m of two minds here:
On the one hand, sacred spaces should be protected from such vulgarities.
On the other hand, good grief, the swiftness with which they acted here compared to how lackadaisical they are with abusive predators. Sort your priorities.
CNA has learned that a local pastor who allowed a pop star to shoot a lewd music video in the church no longer has administrative oversight over the parish, and that Bishop Robert Brennan celebrated a Mass of reparation at the church on Saturday.
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How do Anglicans reckon with the fact that the Church of England (which isn’t synonymous with Anglicanism, I know, but still closely linked) was birthed not by principled theological differences a la Luther, but was instead wholly political?
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@Chris_SmithsJ
Anyway mom is still alive and hasn’t suffered any stress related heart attacks so that’s good news
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I don’t ever want to be a Good Catholic. As in, I never want to be somebody who constantly talks about “striving for sainthood” or any other LARPery. I want to remain a vulgar little jackass, if only to show that God’s grace is for *everyone,* not just those who follow a script.
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being a queer person in religious spaces is exhausting; being a religious person in queer spaces is exhausting
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“Don’t be liberal or conservative, be *CATHOLIC.*”
That’s annoying and you should stop saying it. It’s not clever or profound.
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Due to a scheduling conflict, the Mass I’m going today is in the Extraordinary Form. To my shame, I spent like an hour trying to find *any* other Mass, grumbling when I couldn’t.
Pray for me; I got issues with Trads, but the attitude above is neither charitable nor Christian.
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Despite weird theology of the body marketing, most Catholic conversation around sex is largely negative and it’s really damaging & hurts gospel witness send mf tweet
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“When I die I don’t want anyone crying or sad. It won’t be a ‘funeral;’ it’ll be a Celebration of Life!”
people who say that weird-ass shit haven’t grappled with the reality of Death
If you’re loved then it’s human for people to grieve your death.
And you will die.
Accept it.
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Last Christmas, Mom cried at her table because she couldn’t afford a badly needed back brace, and I was too broke afford my own expenses let alone hers.
This year I got a job in my field, and got to buy my Mom that back brace.
this year was rough - brag on yourself a bit :)! what did you accomplish this year?
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The only reason I'm still Catholic is because I believe Catholicism is true. That's it.
If I could leave the Catholic Church in good conscience then I 100% would.
But I still believe Catholicism is true, so I'm stuck.
And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.
“yeah well the Catholic Church is no more likely to commit/cover up sexual assault than other churches/schools/etc”
I *loathe* this talking point. Whether it’s true or not, it’s only said to save face for the Church.
It says nothing about “so how do we make it stop??”
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This might genuinely be one of the most calumnious things I’ve seen from the e-Trads.
No rant. No swearing or tirades. Instead, all I got is this: Shame on you, Br. Martin. God help you. You certainly need it.
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Any other Catholics here look around at Church hypocrisy, the history of abuse, racism, and homophobia, the constant scandals, the trite answers to existentially gripping questions, and just go “fuck man, is it *really* worth sticking around?”
No I’m not quitting; just venting
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playing peekaboo with toddlers I meet at Mass never ever ever gets old
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One of my most militant opinions is that you should *always* be overly kind to children. If a kid walks up to you with a book asking you to read it to them, I don’t care if you’re tending to a bullet wound; stop what you’re doing and read the damn book
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I’m going to Mass today for the first time since before quarantine.
Let’s roll.
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I love Anglicanism; were I to ever leave the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion would likely be my next destination.
But Episcopalians popping out of the woodwork while Catholics wrestle with new controversies and sorrows just ain’t it chief. Don’t do that. Don’t be a dick.
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“BLM is bad because they’re against the nuclear family!”
The nuclear family is what leads to the elderly dying alone in retirement homes so you can fuck *right* off with all that
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convents: “if you got mental illness then gtfo”
seminaries: “is your brain so wacked that you might sexually assault somebody? Welcome home, brother”
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“you’re too picky”
bro I work in family law and observe thousands of dollars get flushed down the drain in divorces, all because people weren’t picky enough
Be picky as hell. It could literally save you a fortune down the road.
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Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP
“Hurr durr we’re just promoting Church teaching” no you’re operating your own little Grifter Magisterium and pimping the gospel for your own monetary gain.
“We’re promoting modesty!” then in the name of modesty shut the fuck up
Tank tops, shorts, sports jerseys, and flip flops aren't appropriate for Mass. Period.
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okay so this is super personal and weird to share but y’all are a bunch of Catholics so I know y’all will pray so oh well here goes: today on Father’s Day, send up a prayer for my step-father who is in jail please.
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this is fucking embarrassing
BREAKING: 27 prelates (including Cardinal Burke,
@ArchCordileone
, Bp. Schneider & Cozzens & Paprocki
@diospringfield
) issue letter to
#Olympics
committee re the opening ceremony, demanding they “repudiate this blasphemous action and apologize to all people of faith.”
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my spicy dating take is stop being fucking weird
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Now that it’s over: I’m stoked that Biden talks a lot about his faith and how it influences his political life. When he does so, for the most part I like it.
But if he’s going to continue doing so, I do hope that bishops publicly call out his pro-abortion stances.
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Fornication is wrong. Don’t do it.
That said, purity culture has done more irreparable harm to souls than the sexual revolution could’ve have ever dreamed of doing.
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“Gay people shouldn’t be admitted to seminaries”
“We have a shortage of priests!”
Pick one. You can’t have both. Either pick one or shut the fuck up.
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Just left Walmart. As I was shopping for groceries, a little boy who couldn’t have been older than 6 walked up to me and said “I need help. Mommy wants me to get sour cream but what’s sour cream?”
So me and little man went on a mission and found sour cream for his mother.
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Obviously what binds Catholics together is the Eucharist, the creeds, the sacraments, the Pope, etc., rather than our political or cultural dispositions.
But, at least on a psychological level, it’s *weird as fuck* sometimes to think that we share a church with people like this
I can't believe what I just heard at Sunday Mass
In today's homily on World Youth Day, one of the parish priests remarked that he saw Pride flags carried by attendees of the event
"And why not?" he asked, "As Pope Francis said, the Church is for everyone"
I can explain why not
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I’m pro-LGBT and faithfully hope the Church eventually finds Her way on this issue, if only because the current teaching allows vermin like this to preach evil in God’s name
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what if Catholics cared a WHOLE LOT about human rights and the vulnerable and cared a LOT LESS about the gay agenda or whatever?
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I mean, you *can’t* tell me this isn’t just for attention. You know people are gonna QT the shit out of it, and you know you’ll post in a few hours about how everyone is obsessed with you or whatever.
I’ve an alternative: don’t.
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I don’t think they were ready for that, as the both of them became visibly confused.
They invited me to meet up with them later to discuss scripture.
I hope the fake number I gave them doesn’t belong to anybody.
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walked into my employee review semi-worried about being terminated
walked out of my employee review with a raise
so, that’s pretty neat
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Update from insurance company:
Not only is the entirety of what’s left on my car payments covered, but I’m even getting half of my down payment back.
I could cry.
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Over the weekend, I gave my finances & debts a comprehensive review
if I stay the course re proper budgeting, then by the end of the year I'll have my credit card paid off *and* my car paid off, leaving only my student loans.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel, boys.
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I’m so sick of being part of a Church that I have to continually apologize for
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I think one of the most infuriating aspect of “evangelizing The Nones” is that it blames things like science, LGBT culture, etc for the rise of the Nones, completely neglecting the most obvious culprit: the repugnant witness of the parents who raised the eventual Nones.
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Dear men: as an act of self-love as well as a duty to your lady/future lady, develop emotionally intimate friendships and probably get counseling.If a girl loves you, of course she’ll want to walk with you during emotional turbulence and trauma. But don’t make that her job alone.
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girl to me: “you’re cute but your cross makes me think you might be religious. I don’t do religion”
lol b y e
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Oh right I forgot to tell you guys: I accepted a job offer. Moving back to Dallas. A pay raise of almost
25% & paid training in Houston.
Took way longer than I expected but I did it. I got a new job
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boss: “have you scheduled your vaccine yet?”
me: “no not yet I’ve been real busy and—“
boss: “stop what you’re doing and schedule your fucking vaccine right now”
So I’m getting vaccinated tomorrow.
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I forgot we were seeing a new client this morning so before he arrived, I ran to the office restroom to shave.
While I was in there I was cutting up with a dude there about “lol shaving at in an office restroom”
anyway I found out 15 minutes later that he was the client
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Okay so enough silly shit for a minute: please pray for my Mom. I just got a voicemail saying she’s in the ER and I’m not entirely sure why yet. She’s 800 miles away from me in East Tennessee, so I can’t be there right now.
Pray for her if you can, please.
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“Orgasm leads to feminism” I mean....
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