lachlan 🇵🇸🏳️⚧️
@fartandsoul_
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world renowned intellectual thinker / photoshopper of bald ann dowd's profile picture
fat ass hungary
Joined July 2012
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Pinned Tweet
my mom at 26: this is my husband and child and house
meat 26: im the 26th meat
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you look like you used to love the punnett square unit in high school biology
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my dad is operating on another level
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Tim Mielants’ ‘SMALL THINGS LIKE THESE’ starring Cillian Murphy is set to open the Berlin Film Festival.
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jeremy allen white is like if they made this water bottle into a man
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this is your lesbian neighbor who brings you fresh lemons from her tree and is always painting her decade-younger girlfriend who she calls her "muse"
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my parents ascribed my dad's autism to him being an engineer for most of my life so often they'll refer to someone as "being like an engineer" when they really mean they seem autistic
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Roman Roy: I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality. He looks good and he looks hard.
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movie theaters should open early and serve breakfast. why can't i watch josh o'connor and mike faist make out at 8 in the morning while i enjoy an egg and cheese bagel
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stopp calling me a sex pervert i dont Have sex im just a pervert
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behind every hot girl there is a deep history with bbc sherlock
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@successtextpost
oh you're tweeting about the extremely popular critically acclaimed show that JUST had its series finale?? well have you considered tweeting about an entirely different show instead? i am very smart
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so-called free thinkers when the challengers soundtrack exists
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concept: adding [sic] whenever you quote a theologian who refers to God with he/him pronouns
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"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about brachiosaurus every time, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all aren't ready for this chorus
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my dad just called the nicene creed "the assassin's creed"
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this is like when everyone got mad at the lady who liked having coffee in the backyard with her husband. like im sorry you don't have access to a garden!! how about crocheting
"this altered me so bad I picked up gardening" Cool! So you have access to a garden? Most people live in concrete cities with minimal amount of green. Let's all stop treating media """consumption""" like a social failing. Also what does she think a book is
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anyone: I grew up in church
me internally: omg what kind of trauma do you have
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how does this church's website have a banana bread recipe but not an explicit statement about whether they're affirming or not
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stanley tucci is very hot and if you disagree you have no taste
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christians are like "Jesus freed me from my shame" yeah shame I wouldn't have had if you didn't tell me I was evil and depraved and deserved hell
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roman roy is important to my gender but i didn't want to name myself after succession so i looked for a long time to find a name that felt right, tested it with friends, finally changed it online...
anyway just found out lachlan is the name of rupert murdoch's middle child
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shiv voted for the deal because she was jealous AND because she saw kendall becoming logan AND because she wanted to keep her proximity to power!!!
this show has never made character motivations that simple so why are we reducing shiv to one thing
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tell me you grew up evangelical without telling me you grew up evangelical
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i did not make my dolls scissor because my christian ass did not know what that was. however i did make them subject to an authoritarian moral system in which i judged their actions like god
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if you ever doubt that john is the best book in the bible remember that it ends with jesus gently cooking his friends breakfast
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when will i get proper credit for photoshopping the iconic bald ann dowd image
"You're gonna ask me so many of these questions and I genuinely don't know, 'cause it's so bizarre. Sometimes people I know in real life will bring it up and I'll be like, 'Oh my God.' I forget that everyone can see all of this."
interviewed an icon
@ali_sivi
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me in 10 years naming my child subway
Couple that loves Olive Garden to name their daughter Olivia Garton.
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nobody gets enneagram 4 gift lists right. I don't want random art supplies, I want something that shows you were listening six months ago when I made an offhand comment about wanting a very specific item
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I don't know any pokemon because it promotes evolution
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“i’m into gerri” is an understatement. i would crawl naked on hot coals just to see her breasts through a funhouse mirror.
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did a photoshoot with this completely burnt french fry from the bottom of my oven 🤍
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one day braid girl was picking flowers on a walk, saw purple hair roller skating, and gave her both the flowers and her number. now they are dating
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I'm getting some new christian followers so this is a reminder that yes I have both a bachelors and a masters in theology, yes I'm extremely bitter about christianity and will express that freely, we exist
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do I miss christianity or do I just miss having an all-consuming special interest that doubled as a career path
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not to dunk on the jehovah's witnesses but it's a bold move to set up a sign reading "learn bible truths" outside a convention full of biblical scholars
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whoever reminded me of "if you die tonight where will you spend eternity" thanks for the anxiety 😅
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have you considered varying your sentence structure and also not making a genocide about yourself
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do progressive millennial christians know you can't just call any random good thing "sacramental"
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i want every person who dates my friends to see me as a Benevolent Threat. i'm perfectly civil unless you hurt my friend, in which case please recall that i own a sword
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he's so real
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men would have to commit murder to experience the same level of guilt a girl feels for the crime of being 11 years old
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people be like "I take the bible literally" and then pull out an NIV
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@molllllusk
unable to look at her rn so I looked at jeremy and he's doing something devastating with his chin so now I can't look at this gif at all thanks
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My dad won’t say I love you but he’ll say “that’s a really good interest rate considering the market” and I think that’s beautiful
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my boomer coworker is extremely baffled by my outfit today:
"what is that? what are you wearing?"
"a suit. does it not look like a suit?"
"it looks like a men's suit."
"it is a men's suit."
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@anaisisreading
@dhampirdulac
so you read one paragraph and decided you understood the entire article? and then made claims that have nothing to do with what the article is actually saying?
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can some high church person tell me why we have to get sad before christmas
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What If Doctor Was Who
time for a new 'What If Doctor Was ___'. we've had:
What If Doctor Was Boy (doogie howser)
What If Doctor Was Smart (house)
What If Doctor Was Nurse (nurse jackie)
What If Doctor Was Dead (izombie)
What If Doctor Was Evil (dr death)
What If Doctor Was Autistic (the good doctor)
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"????" and "!!!!!" make very specific sounds in my head but are completely unpronounceable
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@pwallinga
this is so funny because i (alto) also did send in the clowns as my audition for my high school's spring musical (a comedy)
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omg i met jeremy allen white at the thrift store!!!1!
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opening twitter: 😃
twitter: temperatures in india are unsurvivable. no one is stopping the genocide. housing is impossible to afford. cars are polluting the earth. your clothes are plastic. your dishes are plastic. your soap is plastic. your shoes are plastic. your food is pla-
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imagine your card declines when buying an indulgence and they send you straight to hell
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this is basically the last hour of oppenheimer
To this day this is the realest thing that anyone has ever posted to this website
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since I'm being vulnerable on main, this is a great time to tell y'all I've recently figured out I'm genderfluid!
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every hebrew bible professor is incredibly phlegmatic and organized and every new testament professor is a being of concentrated chaos who sometimes doesn't remember their own name
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obsessed with the horror movie vibes of this facebook marketplace post
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got my septum pierced and mom is NOT feeling it.
I'm proud of myself for being okay with disappointing my parents without feeling apologetic or regretful.
I can't control/fix anyone's response, I can only control myself 😌🤍✨
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platonic sex implies the existence of socratic sex and aristotelian sex
casual sex implies the existence of business casual sex, semi-formal sex, business sex, black tie sex, white tie sex, formal sex,
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everyone wants the queer leftist commune until it starts behaving like a commune
what do you mean there’s a roommate attendance policy for dinner……..
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calling the day before christmas eve "christmas adam" will literally never get old
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some of you just need to think a little harder and then you will be bisexual
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anyone else understand that God loves them but constantly go around thinking "but does God LIKE me?" kind of like that one scene with lady bird and her mom but on a more cosmic scale
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>calls people with a specific identity too self-centered to understand how other people feel
>puts zero effort into understanding how people with that identity feel
>i am very smart
tbh i think a lot of these identities or concepts were just borne from weird, sad shut ins who are too up their own ass to bother to understand how other people actually live and feel and think.
like its all extremely detached from reality and self centered
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i need to go to a dying mall and spend $150 on clothes from h&m and forever 21 that will somehow last for 10 years and then get food court chicken teriyaki and a mall pretzel that doesn't taste as good as i hoped it would
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i think a lot of people are getting too comfortable conflating being bisexual with being annoying
the chappell roan backlash seems to be more of a reaction to her fans than her music, which is understandable because so many of them are annoying (bisexual)
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taylor swift will be like "our love was forbidden...we met clandestinely in hallways....you haunted me like a ghost" and the whole time she's talking about a guy named jake
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paul giamatti looks great for his age
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