Faine Greenwood Profile Banner
Faine Greenwood Profile
Faine Greenwood

@faineg

Followers
15,308
Following
15,541
Media
10,361
Statuses
182,980

researches: civilian drones, mapping, humanitarian tech, privacy. find me on BlueSky and at @faineg @mstdn .social.

United States
Joined October 2008
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
how is every photo from these protests even more French than the one before
@FrenchHist
The French History Podcast 🇲🇫
1 year
When police hit you with tear gas but you still need to smoke. Posted by Reddit user MaxeIi, if someone has the original photographer info please share!
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
Not particularly thrilled about “Afghanistan is Your Fault” takes written by people who were grown adults in 2001 and directed at people who were, in 2001, actual children
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
grant us all the utter audacity of these sausages-posing-as-dogs
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
I’m so grateful that there’s an entire genre of brassica memes
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
how do i stop being a witness to history, it’s very unpleasant??
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
If you’re a white person who genuinely likes ultra-spicy food, you’re just gonna have to accept the restaurant will want to to get to know you before they’ll be willing to chilidom you.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
conchs have beautiful eyeballs: that’s the tweet
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
your regular reminder that a major source of raw millennial existential terror is: "we've noticed how horrific old age often is for people *today* who have pensions and homes they own, and are doing the math on what that would look like for us"
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
My partner and I are both high-achieving, high-earning white collar professionals over 30 and our wildest ambition is "living in a place with two toilets." really sums up the narrowing of American ambition tbh
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
“I make more money than I ever have before and I live in a shittier, smaller place than I did when I was in my 20s” is a disturbingly common experience for our generation
@mountainherder
Flight Director, Basque Space Program
1 year
I'm less of a mess than I was at 26, but my life has become unbearably diminished in so many ways because my material conditions have consistently declined in spite of increased income.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
just gonna reiterate how *possible* it was yesterday that we’d have had to watch Pelosi and Schumer get murdered by a mob on a Twitch stream.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Elon Musk has added exactly one fantastically creative and addictive feature to Twitter, and that is “cyber-bullying Elon Musk.”
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
it’s amazing that we got to keep explaining why we won’t date people who literally want us and our loved ones dead
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
you will not regret clicking on the picture
@archaeologyart
Archaeology & Art
3 years
Vessel with two feet - earthenware - 18⅞"x 7¾" - Northern Iranian - 1000-800 BC. Source: Brooklyn Museum -
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
take comfort in knowing that someday this will all just be a particularly disturbing case study in some far-off student’s political science studies “what absolute dumbshits,” they will contemplatively say as they finish the paragraph
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
watch a cat masterfully execute what cats have evolved to do over many thousands of years: convince humans to take them home
@histoftech
Mar Hicks
2 years
Sorry sir, you have a cat now.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
When your pleasant day at the beach is interrupted by a velociraptor.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
The Capitol Police gave the MAGAs *directions to Schumer’s office*
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
The fascists totally are going to take over DC but first they need to find parking. (3 hours is enough to execute a coup, right?)
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
Take responsibility for once.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
we may have reached history’s dumbest moment
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
I had just turned 13 on 9-11 so excuse me for not manipulating the levers of power - and I proceeded to follow Afghanistan and Afghan issues fairly closely as an adult (albeit I’m no specialist or expert), so even there….
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
i think sometimes older people assume that younger people haven't even contemplated getting old, but from my un-scientific sample of people in my age group: YES, WE HAVE CONTEMPLATED IT VERY MUCH
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
What I find particularly galling about this is that I do know a lot of people who were children on 9-11 who have devoted their lives to cleaning up the mess they didn’t make.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
I completely understand why our local spicy food restaurants do not trust me when I say I want it spicy because far too many people overestimate their tolerance and then complain
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
and might I add that includes a huge number of *Afghan* people who also have zero adult memories of life before the war.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
See also
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
I would die for the wiggle globe
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
As a member of the generation that grew up being berated by Boomers about online safety, it's grimly hilarious that the USA may be brought down by the exact same Boomer's willingness to believe everything they read on Facebook
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Utterly stunning that it’s 2022 and people are seriously writing articles implying that it’s *weird* that many people feel extremely depressed and anxious
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Yes, privilege matters in abortion access, but unless you have *private jet on demand* money, you’re still probably not surviving an ectopic pregnancy in one of the abortion-ban states now.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@TheGemAgenda I believe in you
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
hate it when my beartree is overly laden with fruit
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
anyway I just came up with chilidom and I both hate and love it as a phrase 🌶️
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Seems kinda bad that "having many millions of dollars in the bank" now seems like the only way to ensure you won't spend your old age sitting in a puddle of your own fluids in a grim facility
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
my usual subtle move is to politely ask for more hot sauce after they bring the food
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
Prepare for a sea of hot takes from people who cannot grasp that the Taliban and ISIS are enemies
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
Of course a humane society would, you know, not make this a ghoulish zero sum game
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
I mean…it’s a financial transaction where I’m enthusiastically consenting to pay for someone else to cause me pain in a way I really, really enjoy
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Drives me mad so many still haven’t figured out that in 2022 post-Trump America, living in red state or rural areas with cheap housing is *increasingly dangerous* for people who aren’t white, straight, and (preferably) male.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
if you reply to this with a variant on “just buy a cheap big house in Outer Fartsucker, Texas, where the locals probably won’t report you to the Gender Cops if you never leave the house,” please understand that no one likes you
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
And the BEST one: oops! All brassica!
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
this tweet inspired by discussions about how we shouldn’t do XYZ thing to benefit younger people financially if it impacts retired people who are also financially vulnerable - which, fair! - but let’s acknowledge young people need money to avoid even worse fates when they’re old
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
or rather “making young people take it on the chin financially now is just ensuring they’ll become old people who can’t afford food or shelter”
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@elonmusk elon, no
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
another tactic: we have our own ultra-hot chili pepper garden, and I’ve started showing restaurant owners I want to win over pictures of my homegrown bhut jolokias like other people show off pictures of their pets.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
remarkable to watch Americans realize lots of countries we usually look down on (or you know, dismiss as ‘shitholes’) are doing a much better job of responding to this crisis than we are this is going to be an ongoing period of national humbling over something we can’t blow up
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@ibm2187 @GergelyOrosz Well good thing he was talking about men who only are unable to make eye contact *with women*, not with other men, huh
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
regular reminder about this crab
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Oarfish! Oarfish up where we can see them! Never gets old! Oarfish!
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Rick Steves deserves serious credit for: 1. knowing his audience is mostly wealthy American boomers and 2. mentioning how great socialist policies and weed are whenever possible in his guidebooks
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
It’s telling that some Americans have grown so accustomed to being able to run people over with cars consequence-free at home that they squeal like stuck hogs when they realize it’s actually illegal in other countries.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Our dátil pepper plant is a beauty:
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Look how cute these Thai ultra hots are
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
I love how every post like this gets "stop whining, you can move to Farthuffer, North Dakota where the MAGA locals want to turn queer folks into dog food, you'll get paid 1/20th of what you make now, and where you will have no life" replies
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Some of the habanero and scotch bonnet crop from this fall:
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
This Far Side cartoon with the hand-aliens has always cracked me up for inexplicable reasons
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
It appears this Tweet with horrifying CSAM imagery was posted by dom_lucre - an account with 571.7K followers - on July 22nd. It took until JULY 26TH for the account to be suspended. And a LOT of people saw the images in the days in between, whatever Elon may claim.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
Update: the enemies of freedom have closed the portapotties
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
I’ll say it again: NO ONE can radicalize older, affluent Americans towards the left like Rick Steves.
@RickSteves
Rick Steves
2 years
When I first started teaching 40 years ago, I focused on basic travel skills: finding the right hotel, avoiding long lines, catching the train, and so on... [thread]
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
“Your entire political identity is focused on destroying me, but let’s just ignore that and get pizza” what no
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
@PopSci “Ha ha ha oh deer” I said, bleeding to death in the snow, terribly alone
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@jephjacques @richburroughs are you confused senpai
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@mkeepwalkin @BomsteinRick and that’s the latest in comedy tweets from 1933
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
this woman unknowingly brought home an actual bobcat and tried to find his owners on Craiglist and it is all very good
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
the hero we need
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@elonmusk @sampullara oh no Elon, you have only so much HP left now
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
one more thing: i love hot food for the flavor profiles and the pleasant chili buzz, but that performative ultra hot wing thing some of my fellow white guys do just to show off? boring, yawn
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
It’s true SVB didn’t get a bailout and no taxpayer cash was used (good). It’s also true our society desperately needs to allow irresponsible, arrogant VCs and techbros to experience genuinely painful consequences for their failures. THAT’S what many people were hoping for.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
I bet it’s really wearing on Zelensky that he doubtless has many extremely funny observations that he could be making right now and can’t (for good reasons)
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
It's truly remarkable how you can drop $300K on a boat and $70K on a pickup truck and $80K on a RV and still somehow get away with calling yourself "working class" in this country
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
how was I not informed about the catgirl allegations swirling around the Finnish Prime Minister?
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Big thing of vinegar hot sauce I made with a bit of everything from the garden:
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
I am shocked - shocked - that it’s mostly white men who are offended by the idea of not dating people who support Trump. I wonder why that is!
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
oh my god there's so many good animal house tweets
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
@SebBoucher @tattooed_bug great: *you* go out and establish that Loving Rehabilation for Frothing Bigots Program. *you* deal with these people. don’t subject anyone who isn’t a cisgendered white guy to this person’s hateful bile.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
For reference, these are photos from yesterday
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
and yeah, restaurant wise: the trick is not to come off like an arrogant dork who’s trying to prove how macho you are (people will want to punish you for good reason), it’s to politely express your genuine appreciation for delicious chili flavors (and other pungent spices)
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
Another thing that white dude apologists seem to forget: if you can become pregnant, you have a very practical reason for avoiding having sex with people who would prefer you die rather than get an abortion.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
it’s so marvelous that we’ve collectively decided that Facebook’s vail of tears and dead-eyed avatars pushing racist Minion memes isn’t even an option
@imbadatlife
Luke Bailey
2 years
incredible indictment that everyone is desperately looking for somewhere to meet and talk to people, and no one has even mentioned Zuckerberg's $70bn metaverse
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
it really isn't sustainable to completely tank the economic futures of young people *twice* in just a decade-long period
@nytimes
The New York Times
4 years
Young people entering the job market during an economic crisis are at a lasting disadvantage, research shows. Their wages, opportunities and confidence may never fully recover.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
When you call the cops on a North Carolina’s oldest BBQ restaurant because the pork is “pink.” This person should be ashamed to show their face in public.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
i can make a hot sauce that will cause genuine physical agony but I don’t see the point
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
My favorite airport experience? I'm 10, flying unaccompanied. They put me in a small shuttle for my flight transfer. A box was in the next seat. The box label read "HUMAN EYES: BIOLOGICAL MATERIAL."
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
by the time they were 35 the average boomer had like, at least 3 toilets to their name, I'd bet
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
mariah curie
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
4 years
sweet mother of christ
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
the forbidden ravioli
@AeroDork
AeroDork
2 years
The USDA is dropping fishmeal-coated oral rabies vaccines across the wilderness of the eastern US with hopes of lowering disease rates among raccoons, foxes, coyotes, and skunks (among others).
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
great system we got here, you just have to move to the wastelands with people who wish you ill
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
Ukraine’s beaches are defended by a small and terrifying elite force
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
1 year
“but how was I supposed to know there were so many queer people working in the restaurant industry in New Orleans!”
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
I hang out with a lot of other high-achieving, high-earning white collar professionals with fancy degrees under 40 and basically none of them HAVE TWO TOILETS
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
5 years
the Katie Hill saga is the first shot in what will become a longer war: 99% of people her age and younger have compromising images of themselves out there, floating around - and those images *will* be weaponized.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
Every childless/childfree person I know has expressed some version of "thank Christ I don't have children" during the pandemic. In case anyone is wondering why birth rates keep dropping.
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
@BrianFeroldi serious SkyMall energy here
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
2 years
For a whole lot of people, living in blue cities isn’t an aesthetic fucking preference based on Thai food and doggie daycare access, it’s about “I don’t want my neighbors to murder me, or my state to force me to die of an ectopic pregnancy.”
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@faineg
Faine Greenwood
3 years
@surtaylor @sarahhartshorne holy shit was he a space alien
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