Ez 🇵🇸 🍉
@ezzzzzzx
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ROSÉ
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EFM X JACK AND JOKER
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Pinned Tweet
Absolutely obsessed with that woman who used to do skits about working in a nursery, now becoming a ‘nurseryverse’ with a fandom that have pictures of her stuck all over their bedroom walls and one who says they had DID and all of their ‘alters’ are nursery verse characters
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I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat?
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Very upset no one likes big boobs anymore. I was promised these would get me far in life
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£13.70 a day is 5k by the end of the year but you could literally get hit by a bus and die next week and your friends will wish you’d gone to Starbucks for catch up with them or took the train somewhere spontaneous is it everyday fucking money with you lot
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That twenty of the 55 prime ministers in British history went to the same school. And 42 went to the same two universities
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What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in your life mine is that I once cried over a lad who owned a private reg plate that said wavey
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Staff have walked out of Manchester Victoria station out of solidarity for one of them cos they were getting abused by a customer an I’ve never supported anything more in my life. Love to see it. Now you’re all stuck cos you don’t know how to behave
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I like my baths so excruciatingly hot that to get in, I have to slowly lower my body into it over the course of about 7 minutes
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Letting agent didn’t even address this treacherous journey either. Is the ark needed to climb this staircase like Mount Ararat included in the security deposit? Are pets (2 of each animal) allowed? Please.
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No. British teenager forced to sign a retraction statement under duress after being denied legal aid despite medical professionals’ testimony that she had been raped and video evidence of the crime
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Eating disorder awareness week so can I just take a minute to gas myself up and say how proud I am of this glow up 🥰 strong and healthy
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Imagine I got in a taxi last night and went ‘iya you okay’ to the driver and he went ‘well no I’m not actually I left my wife 2 days ago’ ???
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CRINGE at girls who snarl u when you're nice to their fella in work 😩😂 ask him if he wants sauce an look at you like uve asked him to rim ya
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Stop fucking liking this tweet he’ll see it and have the satisfaction of knowing he hurt my feelings
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This is gaining traction so I would like to say the following: Support striking workers!! Shut down Yarl’s Wood!! Join the campaign for electoral reform!! Support independent businesses!! Say no to racism, homophobia and transphobia!! Donate to your local food bank!!
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The fact no one ever got to see this outfit because my bday was locked down was a crime against humanity
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Kinder bueno this, Lindor that, but when will we give credit to the best chocolate in the world: Guylian seahorses
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I am single because I get drunk on first dates and start talking in an Australian accent btw
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I love watching him have an absolute nightmare at any given time yanno it makes me so happy hahahahahaha
"Tommy Robinson," in a confrontation with a police officer in London after being deported from Mexico.
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He was 28 when one woman’s restraining order against him was granted and 27 when another woman’s was granted. He’s also been arrested for assault a further 2 times and 1 for assault with a deadly weapon.
Enjoy his lil dance moves though. Doing a little twirl and that
Chris Brown responds to backlash following the announcement of his collaboration with Chlöe:
“IF YALL STILL HATE ME FOR A MISTAKE I MADE AS A 17 year old please kiss my whole entire ass!”
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The voice in ur head when you’ve just said ‘arrr yeah go on’ to your ma’s 2nd offer of a chippy tea that week
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Quote from Sky News: “Prosecutors said she had fabricated the allegation, angry at being filmed during sex.”
... That means in the best case scenario, she still had a sex crime committed against her. Non-consensual recordings of sex acts are a crime.
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@JoshWoogsMP
How can she say ‘I don’t like your kind and no one else does either, have a nice day tho x’
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@firstfinequine
@ProudGlaswegian
But Lindsey I received training to deescalate situations and I also enjoy a great deal of support from our clinical team when it is me being abused. The latter in particular isn’t something these people will have the luxury of. Until they do, I will lend them my sledgehammer
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@fiayayayayaya
The vegetarian sausage struggle is very very real but I value my friend more than my breakfast 😭😭
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Mind you, this is 5k more than a Band 6 nurse earns in the NHS and we rely on overseas nurses so much that our percentage of foreign trained nurses is 2.5 times that of the OECD average.
🚨 BREAKING: Rishi Sunak will increase the salary threshold so that EVERY migrant has to earn over £38k before coming to Britain in a major plan to slash migration
He will also announce new limits on them bringing family
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@JackElsom
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In my bag my favourite position is CEO queen and king🥤🚀🎒👑 Twitter is very angry atm so verily I ask you does my little off-handed opinion stop you yourself opening a savings account you fucking humpback whale
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@suzie_wong_86
I’m one of those professions you just listed. I DO face this daily. Just because it makes me miserable it doesn’t mean I want everyone else to have to deal with it. I said exactly what I said and I hope they do it again next time.
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‘You can’t sit with us 💁🏼♀️🍸💕💃🏻’ of course not beloved - there’s 18 of you who have thrown in £20 to share an 8 person booth, there is no room .
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Ok so me and my lovely mum are in the process of writing a free cookbook full of low cost recipes and tips. The discourse around food poverty constantly removes the agency from low income families to have not just substantial meals, but ones that taste good, too
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Illegal formby beach raves and sharing rubbers 3 times a week but it’s BLM protests that have your social distancing spidey senses tingling. Hmm!
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I feel like you shouldn’t even be going out for meals/drinks on Monday or Tuesday because those venues should not be expecting their staff to work in hot kitchens in 40° heat and you shouldn’t support the ones that do. Cancelled my Monday reservation for that reason
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MMA fighters saying 5G is giving them migraines like you don’t literally get kicked in the head for a fuckin living
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I haven’t forgotten that time a few years ago that you lot used to pay £65 to insta pages to sell you primark band t shirt bleached with domestos toilet cleaner and a few safety pins in
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Why are so many of you shitting yourself so regularly? I have never shit myself in my entire life
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Men be like ‘I see you have extensive knowledge of a particular subject, why don’t you let me explain that to you like you’re a child?’
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You follow a random lad back on insta and next thing you know you have about 5 follow requests from hair and lash pages from his bird and all her mates trying to lurk 😭
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Some of you lot think healthy food means plain unseasoned chicken broccoli and brown rice and then wonder why you fall off the wagon after 3 weeks.
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Good one Margaret you SHEEP now bill gates can track your journey to Mecca bingo and then Morrison’s and STEAL your data !
90-year-old Margaret Keenan is the first to receive the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine, administered by Matron May Parsons, as UK's mass vaccination programme begins
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Exercise is apparently ‘good for you’ but there are two Chamberlains in Liverpool; one is a footballer and one is on their third Rice Krispie cereal bar of the day. Guess which one doesn’t need knee surgery x
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Being a good judge of character is the worst because when you’ve sussed someone out and no one else has yet everyone just thinks you’re a hater hahahahaha
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I remember when I was literally on a date and someone slapped my ass on shoreditch high street and when he actually apologised he apologised to........the man I was with
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‘Don’t tell me you’re tired until you have kids’ ‘you don’t need coffee I’m a mum!’ BOOOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅 SHUT UPPPPP 🍅🍅🍅 NO ONE CARES 🍅🍅🍅
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Booking nice hotels for a night or two n just going n staying in them on your own is such a vibe
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I actually cannot believe sunbeds are a) legal and b) so popular with people our age
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I promise you your 3 year old would rather wear Paw Patrol and Peppa Pig than they would DSquared and Gucci
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All the wild shit I’ve tweeted in my life and it’s a picture of a flight of stairs that gets responses telling me to burn in hell I’ve never been so confused
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