@lotoscuffs_ I can feel his pain

THE CURATED LIFE Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a woman named Ada. Ada spent her mornings scrolling through Instagram, admiring her friends’ lives. There was Ngozi, sipping coconut water on a beach in Bali. There was Chidi, posing in front of his new Range Rover. And there was Funke, glowing in her “perfect” marriage. Ada, on the other hand, was sitting in her tiny Lagos apartment, eating Indomie and wondering why her life didn’t look like theirs. She felt stuck, inadequate, and—dare I say it—broke. But here’s the twist: Ngozi’s Bali trip was funded by a maxed-out credit card. Chidi’s Range Rover? A lease he couldn’t afford. And Funke’s #CoupleGoals? Well, let’s just say her husband’s “glow” was actually a filter. The truth is, what we see online is often a highlight reel—a curated, filtered, and carefully edited version of reality. And when we use these snapshots as a yardstick for our own lives, we set ourselves up for discontent. The Problem with Comparison Comparison is not just the thief of joy, it’s also a liar. It whispers, “You’re not good enough,” while showing you a version of life that doesn’t exist. As Chimamanda Adichie once said, “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete.” The same goes for the lives we see online. They’re not lies—they’re just incomplete. The Power of Contentment Contentment isn’t about settling for less. It’s about finding joy in what you have while working toward what you want. It’s about realizing that your life doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful. Here’s how to cultivate contentment in a world that’s constantly telling you to want more: 1. Unfollow the Noise If someone’s feed makes you feel bad about yourself, hit that unfollow button. Your mental health is worth more than their perfectly curated brunch photos. 2. Practice Gratitude Every morning, write down three things you’re grateful for. It could be your health, your family, or even the fact that you survived traffic yesterday. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have. 3. Redefine Success Success isn’t a Range Rover or a beach vacation. It’s peace of mind, meaningful relationships, and the ability to sleep at night without worrying. 4. Embrace Your Journey Your life is not a competition. It’s a story—and you’re the author. So, put down your phone. Take a deep breath and remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH. P:S - Please share this with someone who needs a reminder that their life is enough. #OyinkansolaAlabi #TheEmotionsDoctor #eqcitizen #emotionalintelligence

As a 40+ year old woman, who's gradually overcoming her fear of commitment and is audaciously, unapologetically and unashamedly seeking love, I'm working with these tips. They may work for men too. 1. Know yourself and who you want. 2. Be open with your feelings and needs.