when humans who are resentful of the gap between the promise of the colonial american dream and their own experience use dean as a sacrifice to their prosperity god. you know?
the number of deans a “womanizer” tweets i’ve endured. oh i’m overtired and ready to throw hands. yall maybe wanna rewatch the first episode of spn where the ghost is a woman who goes after unfaithful men. does she go after dean? i think not!
a gay man from kansas who didn’t believe he’d have a future bc he was raised to be a soldier by an abusive dad & an angel who was made to be a soldier by a cruel god met & fell in love & their love was so big they invented free will to save each other & the world. happy nov 5
people saying sam knows dean best clearly have not watch s14 where sam is like “oh deans dean and he’s always fine” meanwhile deans sitting in a diner telling cas he’s losing it. or the end of s14 when mary dies and sams like deans ok. and deans off sobbing in the woods alone
- on dean's 17th birthday, john sent him to burn lesbian nuns.
- dean's 28th birthday was the first one in his life for which john was dead.
those are some really clear bookends for this very specifically articulated dissociative period.
dean being assigned to one of those separate high schools for "problem kids" and immediately befriending all the teen moms (cause like... he is one) and holding & soothing their babies so they can focus on class send tweet
accidentally watched like 30 seconds of supernatural. any of y'all see this dean winchester guy and immediately want to rebel from heaven and dedicate your life to protecting him or is it just me and that one gay angel?
after reviewing the files and data and crunching the numbers and digging into the archives and getting down to brass tacks, i have something to say:
I think dean should have been angrier actually.
it is so painful PAINFUL how soft and fond and relieved dean looks in 6.20 when he thinks it's been proved cas isn't working with crowley. like my god. he's down so bad
ever think about how after 1.06 there'd be news reports about how a) dean winchester had tortured & murdered a buncha people in a weird way & b) he was dead. & one mr j winchester who apparently is super good at reading newspapers & shit didn't even... didn't even call to check?
people wanting dean to have said "i mean i check out a guys ass but that's normal" where were you when he said "nice peach fuzz," "well you on the other hand... looking good," and "he was my gay thing"?????
dean apologizing to sam for "ditching" him when they were kids (in s7) vs dean finally revealing that it was john that forced him to leave (in s14) 😵💫
i know we talk about how ultimately dean knew it wasn't john cause he said he was proud of him. but like can we talk about dean's tentative tiny smile & quiet 'thanks' when he first thought his dad was finally saying everything he'd ever wanted to hear
most abusers feel their actions are justified or they're pushed by extreme circumstances. many say they love their victims or are acting out of love. many are sometimes nicer & not monolithically *evil*.
John Winchester was a deeply abusive father. There is no argument otherwise
so when dean helps charlie flirt with a man, she had *just* come out to him to explain why she couldn’t. and she had literally no reason at all to assume that wasn’t him coming out to her by saying he could. like she just met dean. she had no context for his sexuality beyond this
thinking of dean doomed-by-the-narrative winchester going into the past and looking his mother in the eye and saying please dont make me; it will save the world not to.
and her saying its too late im already pregnant.
doomed before he was even born. doomed by simply existing
i feel like we talk a lot about how dean flirts with a guy for charlie but NOT A LOT about how sam literally laughs at him for it.
anyway. not only does sam not know dean is gay. Sam is a huge part of the reason he's closeted.
the um. the thing about the widower arc is. is that dean knows how to live without mary. like even if he's sad about her, that's been most of his life. but uh. since he met cas, he hasn't... the thing is he doesn't know how to live without cas. is the thing.
dean shot his shot with cas like 3 times in s5. cas proceeded to kiss meg, flirt with meg, fuck april, talk positively about fucking april, try to go on a date with nora, & say he had a "female in the car" when dean said cas was looking good. yet people say dean should have known
dean saying "you're a handsome devil but i dont swing that way" or "you kinky sob but..." or "whatcha doing roy" isn't him saying he's straight. its him living in a constant state of awareness about the frequency of people's predatory sexual attitudes toward his body. thanks.
did you guys know about this? yeah it's called uh supernatural. right and you just - yeah you can just watch it and it's like - there's 15 seasons and my best friend dean is in it. yeah like you can just - you can just press play and it'll just be playing scenes and there he is.
he’s smiling cause he just saw gay people real not clickbait. he’s been fucked up the whole episode and angry and then he talks to two men who are in love and then he’s smiling. your honor
carry on my wayward son doesn't have that big an effect on me cause i unfortunately don't like it all that much. but lord help me when i listen to fare thee well or night moves or the famous final scene or running on empty or goodbye stranger or god was never on your side
the first handprint cas left on dean was to hold him tight enough to pull him up from hell. the second was to push him far enough away so he wasn’t dragged down into the empty.
okay let's break this down a bit. the episode in which dean is "diagnosed" is 5.11. they are intentionally trying to be admitted into a mental ward to help john's old friend martin. during sam's initial evaluation, they both say intentionally wild things with that goal in mind 1/
IF ONLY I'D HELPED HIM THROUGH HIS GRIEF INSTEAD OF TAKING HIM TO THAT DAMN CARNIVAL....
INSTEAD OF TAKING HIM TO THAT DAMN STRIP CLUB....
INSTEAD OF TAKING HIM TO THAT DAMN PIE FESTIVAL........................................ 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
every single onscreen dean sex scene in supernatural gives off the most undiluted puppy dog energy and nothing will ever convince me different.
he literally just wants to be a good boy.
ever thinks about how the vamp hunt dean died on was one john was working in 86 when dean was 7. ever think about how the pattern was the vamps were going after kids between 5-10 who were isolated & living at the edge of town. ever think about how john used to use dean as bait 😵💫
i feel like we dont talk enough about how "BIG BEAUTIFUL DUMB" and "i had to be a father and i had to be a mother" are from the same episode! like he is everything EVERYTHING!!!
let me tell you! god! this is one of the most complex, dynamic dean expressions in all of spn! like this woman was literally JUST ferociously attacking him & biting his neck. it's implied she tortured him. but now shes not brainwashed anymore & she needs his help saving her kids.
supernatural spent years communicating cas' flying away & sudden absence by showing the disappointment and loss on dean's face and for what? for me not to say dean was in love here? for me not to say i wish cas knew what dean's face looks like right after he leaves?
wild that though dean tried he couldn’t be like john. all the softness in him filled into the space left by mary. and then we find out mary wasn’t even mary. she didn’t cook. she didn’t really wanna quit hunting. so whats left is dean became more like his mom than his mom was
if 24 year old dean winchester had showed up at my house with his giant bambi eyes and princess peach lips and killed my dad i would send him a fruit basket every year on the anniversary but i guess cole trenton and i are just built different
hey anybody know why the center of aziraphales prayer circle is the spn angel banishment symbol? like is that symbol from something else? or is this a reference? sorry googling hadn’t been super clear and i am desperately curious
kind of fucked up if dean showed up in heaven and bobby was like “your mom and dad are right up the street” and dean was like. cool. great. i’m going to leave immediately to find a better future. 🫤
SPN notes doc is finished!!! (well i'm always rewatching so ill def catch more stuff. but!) I made a landing page (shown in part here) with some TLDR data and explanations of the other tabs! Please hmu if i missed something or if you have any questions!
this scene is SICK (as in sick, twisted & devastating) cause dean's caught & in pain & stalling & abbadon's whole objectifying speech is SO creepy. but it's such a distillation of how dean's body so often gets treated and then she throws him into a window display of mannequins 😵💫
keep in mind the “autonomy” in question is allowing traumatized children to take on dangerous revenge-fueled quests that have like a 75% mortality rate. part of being an adult actually is helping the kids around you w/ safe boundaries. & sometimes that means telling them no guns
every single time dean was put in the same positions that john was, he made a different call. every time. with sam. with ben. on the like two occasions he tried john's tactics because he literally didn't know what else to do, he regretted it right away and tried to make it right
same episode. 8 minutes apart.
like im just not going to be normal about this. the whole entire angels trying to get dean to say yes to michael and the way they treat his body is so fucking predatory
in the vein of dean & cas are their own people and while they mean the world to each other, not all of their choices are all or only about each other… *clears throat* DEAN STOPPED SLEEPING WITH WOMEN.
watching an episode of supernatural season 7:
dean *is visibly mourning & struggling*
sam: what's wrong? you've been so weird since cas died?
//
dean *reveals something not very masculine about himself*
sam *laughs* "that's gay"
//
dean *mourning*
sam: so what's wrong tell me????
episodes in s1 that canonically show john had more knowledge of a situation than sam & dean but that he chose not to share, leaving them open to harm and often the risk of death: 1, 9, 14, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22.
even in s1 you can see the mask crack in regards to dean's opinion of john. but i think a huge reason he doesn't go in on the john-bashing even when sam is at his most john-critical is that dean doesn't really want to talk about /his/ messed up relationship with john with sam.
things that make me want to do a defensive-cornered-alley-cat-hiss: dean sleeping in motel beds pre-hell (shoes & shirt off, under the covers, comfy, etc) vs post-hell (shoes on, on top of covers, sometimes just under his coat). babygirl 😭
sick to my stomach over how when cas is hurt dean will keep a hand holding him even as he's leaning/stepping back to assess the damage. reassuring them both.
absolutely do not think about a group of vamps getting deans scent at 7 years old and then finally catching up to him at 41. like i beg you do not think about this.
ever thinks about how the vamp hunt dean died on was one john was working in 86 when dean was 7. ever think about how the pattern was the vamps were going after kids between 5-10 who were isolated & living at the edge of town. ever think about how john used to use dean as bait 😵💫
there's something so gut wrenching about dean saying 'why does this sound like a goodbye' & watching cas get taken & crumpling on the floor with his loss triggered nonverbalism thinking 'i should have said i love you too i should have said i love you too' but he cant speak
advanced thanatology + tombstone are actually an elaborate fix-it for baz luhrmann's romeo+ juliet. dean (romeo) k*lls himself with a vial of poison. meanwhile watchers know cas (juliet) is waking up & not dead.
& they get to each other in time.
(also claire danes' angel outfit)
not to dunk on a teenagers post but fanon dean tends to be boring & woefully mischaracterized.
canon dean is an insanely good, tender, self sacrificial person, & deeply committed to both using his power for good & holding those in power to their moral responsibility
what's wild to me is that people will watch dean intentionally and knowingly perform attraction to women as a cover or a distraction or as armor or as a fulfillment of someone's expectation but then not dig any further into what that might mean about him...
something people like to forget about dean & jack is that literally just 2 seasons prior dean was introduced to a a divine being who kept controlling him but offering him lasting peace. and who then tried to end the world. and she came to him first as an infant
i wonder when dean realized he’d been parentified. cause when you’re a kid and that’s happening to you, you don’t know. like maybe he could tell it was a little different from his peers. but when did he really realize. sometime before 12.22. but it’s just. rotating in my brain.
like yes. supernatural is the story of abraham and issac. john is abraham, willing to sacrifice his son whom he loves but crushed by it. & sam is issac, asking & scared about what his father is planning to do. & dean. dean is the sheep caught in the thicket that the lord provided
watched the first 20 min of lazurus rising with my mom. her comments:
"so wait why'd they bring dean back again? oh - just to keep playing with him?"
"aw he's bowlegged"
there is something so self-knowing, so vulnerable, so raw about Dean's line here: "I don't want to turn into a pillar of salt." of course that's what dean thinks of. the paramount sin & punishment: being so desperate for the home you're leaving that you can't help turning back.
never forget that in 5.22 when sam tells dean to go back to lisa and live “some normal apple pie life” it is *right* after dean looks back at cas and calls him a “little angel”. like cas is *in the car* when sam says that.
john reunites with sam& dean 3 times (1.16, 1.20, 14.13) & each time he works to make amends w/ sam. but never dean. not that he shouldn't apologize to sam! but there's no part of john's relationship w/ dean that john feels he needs to make amends for or even apologize for at all
it kinda bugs me when people say dean's a hypocrite in 2.04 for saying "what's dead should stay dead" but then bringing sam back. cause HE MEANS HIMSELF YALL!!!! he's not a hypocrite for trying to sacrifice himself to bring ppl back, he thinks he's setting things right!!!
the *ONLY* dean + john parallel i will allow is when in 12.22 dean's trying to break through to mary and he says after she died dad was just a shell
and then in 12.23 cas dies and dean is just a [gunshots]
dean smashing god's guitar scene light of my life. dean smashing god's guitar scene the reason i get up in the morning. dean smashing god's guitar scene my way home. dean smashing god's guitar scene my path through the darkness. dean smashing god's guitar scene my best friend
we don’t talk enough about how cas wasn’t tasked w/ protecting dean. he was meant to shape, guide & prepare him to be the michael sword (not that cas knew that was the goal). but instead he watched dean reject all those orders. & then instead of correcting him cas joined him 🥲
sometimes you see a pic of him and you’re just like holy shit cas was right he was RIGHT HE WAS RIGHT!!!! THEEEE most caring man the most loving human being THE face drawn, drained of hope but still beautiful still dean winchester
oops. accidentally thought about how in later spn dean has both his parents tell him the life he leads isn't the one they want for him but so much of his identity & why he's a hunter is based on trying to be what they wanted. (& it was their actions chose it for him.)🙃 yoikes.
this is my favorite scene in all of spn. out of all of it the only other scene that even comes close is “it’s okay i got you. i got you” from the end of what is and what should never be. but like his heart is so big. he cares so much. oh god oh god
makes me so sad that a character whose ENTIRE life has been dedicated to caring for other people, sometimes family but often complete strangers - to the point where he would & has died for them many, many times - has so many people who criticize & dismiss his anger at injustice
sometimes it feels so heavy to me that dean was declared legally dead in episode 6 (SIX!!). he's barely 27. he's hunted his whole life. he's got a string of arrests & warrants & now a murder conviction. any chance at a life outside of hunting is over for him. he's dead. episode 6
ever think about how dean flirts with like 2 women in all of s2 and then spends all of s3 performatively flirting with everyone so sam doesn’t think he’s sad to die and go to hell or are u normal