a cat (dawntrail spoilers)
@elfwifecity
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having fun. please don't repost my stuff
Joined November 2019
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Pinned Tweet
as ever, if my tweets piss you off or make you sad or anything else i wholeheartedly encourage just blocking or muting me and going on about your day. i would not have endured five years of ffxiv twitter without the ability to remove annoying posts from my timeline
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hey everyone. hope the wait for endwalker is treating you well. let me tell you about the time i got thordan in trials roulette (as a white mage) and decided to become satan
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#endwalkerspoilers
venat: no more shall man have wings to bear him to paradise. henceforth,
venat: he shall have cat ears
ancients: what
venat: he shall walk
ancients: no what did you say before that
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c'maaaaan im a little guyyy i'm just a little crystal guy and also it's my naaaameday!! you gonna hit a little crystal guy on his nameday????
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#endwalkerspoilers
get in the car idiot? ohhh whats the matter can't get in the car? great big sorcerer of eld isn't fast enough to get in the car?
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gamers are calling it the worst hub city in history
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this is an ivalice raid appreciation zone. not the story i dont give a fuck about that. i mean the mechanics like "if you disobey the commandments of god three times you will become a chicken and then become a zombie and then explode"
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emet-selch: welcome to the final days of amaurot
me: pog!!!
meteion: welcome to the final days of various planets
me: ok it's still a little pog
golbez: welcome to the final days of final fantasy four
me: yeah man ok
sphene: ....omg you're gonna hate meeeeee 🙈💦
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#endwalkerspoilers
hydaelyn: alphinaud i commend thine idealism
alphinaud: :)
hydaelyn: alisaie i commend thy selfless nature
alisaie: :)
hydaelyn: urianger, thou hast lied to thy friends very well
urianger: th, anks
hydaelyn: estinien thou wert also there i think
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you removed the pole dance...you removed the tether....its almost like you dont want dragoons to fuck anymore
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i'm still learning how to tank. it's fun. i just stand in front of the enemy and look cute and hit a button from to time to let the healer know what level of afraid i am
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x'rhun tia: have you heard the news? displacement and engagement have the same potency now, so there's no need to backflip for optimal dps anymore
alisaie: that rules. i dont give a shit
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please erase the critically acclaimed mmo final fantasy xiv from your mind. do not play the free trial through the heavensward expansion. your friends are all fucking nerds with bad taste. i am begging you to go play minecraft
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tanked a normal raid roulette where the other tank came in with their stance on, /stretched, /bstanced, did a ready check, then immediately shirked to me once the fight started. new homoerotic tank dynamic just dropped i guess
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"but menphina" i said. "during the most trying periods of my life, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. why, when i needed you most, were you not there for me?"
menphina replied, "omg i feel SO bad about that sorry 😖💦 but i was cheering you on rly hard!"
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ancients: you have to give up on this bird we are literally begging you to stop working on this shitty bird
lahabrea: i can make it worse
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exarch: i’ve loved you for 100 years
emet: i have loved you since before this fucking catboy was a fraction of a thought
wol: that sounds heavy
all:
exarch: i made you a sandwich
wol: he made me a sandwich i gotta go w/ the sandwich
emet, standing up: I Made You A Jolly Rancher
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im so 12 years old for the lore that dragons are aliens who escaped to medieval fantasy world after a robot war
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emet-selch: you dont even know who the twelve really are do you? 😏
me: are they ancients?
emet-selch:
emet-selch: i gotta go
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i literally dont care. whatever i dont even care im fine with it. this is what i wanted actually
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emet: how did you time travel. tell me the secret
exarch: allag
emet: Allag What
exarch: [triumphantly, coughing up blood] Allag My Balls
krile: [suddenly crying somewhere] he finally did it
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we really wanted to preserve our players' beloved image of their characters. and since we know some of you fucking freaks like that soulless dead-eyed look for some goddamn reason,
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"ohhh they can't make an alliance raid as hard as orbonne because people complained when it came out" the playerbase has like doubled since stormblood. it's time to separate the wheat from the chaff
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holy shit.......no way.....this story really was planned since realm reborn
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i love when they announce something that makes everyone go insane and then follow it up with "we adjusted the reflection slider on aura horns by 2%. this is nothing. sorry we dont know why we showed you this actually"
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i cant call this my "favorite shitpost art" but i did stumble across it again recently and it is still
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i thought "who would roll the worst joint in the scions of the seventh dawn?" and didn't even get through the question before g'raha popped into my head
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rhalgr: get on my finger :3 get on my finger :3 get on my finger :3
me: [gets on his finger]
rhalgr: Get The Fuck Off My Finger Right Now
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wuk lamat would not give me the finger for calling her msq mid. she would say "you must have your reasons. everyone's disparate opinions on video games form the vibrant tapestry of life"
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shadowbringers: light isn’t necessarily good
endwalker: unless
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yoshi-p it's your game im not going to tell you what to do with the next 10 years but i am going to say that vrtra inviting estinien to his house to be doted on by his servants without being told what he's there for is the perfect jumping off point for a romance vn
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today in p3n there was a lala blm in my party wearing a babydoll dress with the search info "Kill" and she did not move and her dps was insane
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estinien: so i used to kill dragons for a living but that's the old me. i actually am really chill with dragons now and don't want to hurt or kill them
dragon: that's really nice
dragon: i'm sorry i didn't catch your name, mr...?
estinien wyrmblood:
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minstrel: but what if we went back in time and you had a full limit gauge 🎵 what would you do then 🎵
me: i dps lb to super kill haurchefant
minstrel [getting up and flipping over the whole tabletop setup]: i can't fucking do this anymore
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i keep thinking about the part of msq where they went out of their way to let you ask “hey so what about all that cryptic stuff hydaelyn said back in arr that doesn’t make any sense anymore” for the watcher to respond “she didn’t mean that ❤️”
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#endwalkerspoilers
utopian citizen: life has lost all meaning. now we await only the sweet release of death
meteion: hermes they all want to die
hermes: what?? no??? you have to tell them about minecraft did you tell them
meteion:
meteion, miserably: so there's this new game out
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yoshi-p: hildibrand is eating up our budget but the devs really want to do it
me:
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recently people were goofing about how all the whm skill icons look identical but i just started crafting again and
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we'd like to reassure the playerbase that nophica Will have big titties but she Will Not have big titty jiggle physics because this game is held together with tape and the reverberation would tear it asunder
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urianger: the names you chose clearly reflect your love of mankind. like you, singingway. and you, cookingway. and you...uh
loporrits: shiddingway and fardingway
urianger:
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it would be so funny if 8 people just loaded into an instance and beat the shit out of one of the empire's most fearsome strategists in 2 seconds. that would be so fucked up if that happened
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my favorite part about the "ooo cape westwind hard" gag is when half the party is new and so their dps is low and so he actually gets magitek missiles off and kills like 5 people
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oh yeah, i guess i can compile these spoiler doodles here now
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"yes well perhaps i got my own catboy in your absence"
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"high school au manga" dont care
"emet-selch in crocs" understood
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omega: do you think that if i understood love i'd be able to go home
cid: no. you'd die probably
omega: oh
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black mage is great actually i just get 6 vuln stacks and everybody else has to lovingly cater to me. your divine benison sir
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[yelling from offscreen] end the free trial after the vault
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have you considered making use of your cooldowns, my friend
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[garlean war meeting]
solus: today's point of discussion. how do we conquer the azem steppy
soldiers:
solus:
soldiers: it's pronounced "steppe" sir
solus: whta did i say
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