Lala
@dreamworked
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INCONCEIVABLE! 🗡️ Psalm 56:4
Canada
Joined January 2019
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Pinned Tweet
My hate for Amy Schumer came to me as soon as I saw her face when I was 15 years old. I have been carrying with me, like Christ carrying his cross, this hatred for a long time. The rage she sparks within me, is one that I can only hypothesize comes from a past life trauma.
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This, to me, is the funniest thing humans could ever create. AI art could never create this, this was made by someone who survived Chernobyl why is it so sad
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I think in a past life she was a farmer, and I was her cow. I believe she hit me, and milked me, and stole my calfs from me. There is something that breaks in my heart every time I see her name, or face.
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And now, with her being an insidious mess in public view, she offers more dry bark to fuel this fire burning in the pit of my stomach. I am scared of the long term medical consequences this hatred I carry will bring upon me. But dear God, I cannot extinguish it.
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The Canadian Security Intelligence Service could not waterboard this out of me I’m dead serious. I would take this not only to my grave, but beyond the River Styx.
one of my partners once was like 'you're not that pretty' during a tender moment
i rolled over in the fetal position and groaned for like an hour, and then he went and made me an im sorry card out of construction paper and markers and stickers
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I hope to God they enter witness protection
Steven Moffat says he would start writing a new season of ‘SHERLOCK’ tomorrow if Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman would return.
(Source: Deadline)
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I’m like 90% sure this moose has a better quality of life than I do. I’m prettier and funnier though.
White moose wading into a stream in Sweden
📹 Hans Nilsson
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Who asked for this? Genuinely.
Canadian politicians, past and present, trick or treating as kids. Generated by AI.
Justin Trudeau
Prime Minister (2015 to Present)
Leader of the Liberal Party (2013 to Present)
Parliamentarian (2008 to Present)
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She is the reason for so much of my suffering. I love her.
12 years ago, Lana Del Rey released her debut single ‘Video Games.’
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Enough.
Austin Butler responds to comments saying he still talks like Elvis — “I don't think I sound like him still, but I guess I must, because I hear it all the time."
“I'm sure there's pieces of him in my DNA and I will always be linked to him.”
(Source: )
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I stole this cat’s personality at like age 7 and I haven’t been able to take off the mask. This has not done society well…not well at all…
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for the love of god let him cook
Had a conversation about the sun at a Flat Earth Convention and it almost broke us.
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helping your community will better your mental health more than it will feeding into most “self care” hyper individualistic trends/practices.
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Some people are on exec or in student government JUST for the resume and it shows 👀
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i can’t believe my profile was just doxxed like this …
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Trump: “I am the least racist person in this room”
The room in question:
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political Facebook groups genuinely ask questions like “is racism bad?”and then 7 people vote no???
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I can’t believe that after Queen Elizabeth II dies Graham Norton is going to take her place. Absolutely mental that is.
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tip: do NOT watch Pride and Prejudice. you WILL have a mental breakdown and look up “how to find modern Mr. Darcy in Ottawa, Ontario”
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today on fake woke twitter people are happy Notre Dame is on fire because of... colonialism?
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Me taking poli sci: government governs, I get it....
Me taking history: being an academic is so rewarding, I’m learning something new everyday, the trivia is endless, the story of humanity is beautiful and so complex I-
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Define an undergraduate degree in political science:
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Pence said “Ah yes, abortion! Shall I spin you a yarn about foreign policy?”
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“feminine beauty” is not tied to a ratio, or measurement. This thread is so anti-woman it’s actually insane.
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I recently purchased this mid 18th century, pirate, Mr. Darcy Regency era shirt just for me to wear alone at home. Don’t ever ask me how I’m doing ever again. I’m doing just fine.
#blessed
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The one on the left is a dictator and the one on the right is alt right. No wonder they didn’t want to shake his hand....but I bet they would have shaken Scheers hand🤭
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If an Ottawa policeman asks me where I live, I’m going to have to respond the only way I know how
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Great. Everyone strap in for 2020’s finale!!
#Discovery
| Archaeologists unearthed 27
#sarcophagi
in an ancient
#Egyptian
city of the dead. They've been sealed for more than 2,500 years.
#Egypt
#Archaeology
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not only do I not know what the “economy” is, I don’t care how he’s doing
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Considering: ripping up my foolish passport, cutting my hair, and just disappearing into the sewers. Perhaps emerge, but only when summoned.
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Am I the only one who read popular political philosophers and was bored the entire time because it was ALL COMMON SENSE? We hype them up wayyyyy too much...
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When you are desperate for more volunteers so you download Tinder- first date is doorknocking sis!
#CanvassingMemes
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I have to act goofy so people won’t kill me for my looks... I don’t WANT to make jokes I HAVE to!!!
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This is the final straw- I will no longer be using Canadian currency, I will be using
#Bitcoin
for Diana’s sake.
What do you think about Charles' face on Canadian money
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One of the most cringe things I have in my notes app is several drafts of an Oscars acceptance speech.
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“What’s your name?”
“Lala”
“Layla?”
“Lala, like that movie Lala Land”
“...Lola??”
“Like the yellow tellatubbie”
“Sorry I’ve never seen that show Laylay”
🙄
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Going back to Ottawa, which means I have to be woke again and I’m fucking sleepy
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Uottawa students will make their instagrams public and then pull this shit:
Friends,
I am running to be your VP MVP PP Social Internal Foreign Relations Finance chair for EEPSSIIAAAI.
I am looking forward to give students absolutely the bare minimum for free.
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after learning that the Romans were 5ft tall this is how I imagine every Roman Emperor, with a high squeaky voice yelling “twime two rwuin Cwarthage!” like a baby.....I have been laughing for 4 minutes.
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@CBCPolitics
He skipped me in line at the west block cafeteria... And no ones going to source me???????? Wow some world we live in
#journalism
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When you are walking away from a door you just knocked on and you hear the lit drop behind you and a “...hello?” coming from the house
#CanvassingMemes
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Hahahaha probably the first time you’ll hear conservatives yelling “let her speak”
Fracas in the House of Commons:
As Finance Minister Bill Morneau delivers the federal budget, members of the Opposition chant "Let her speak!" in reference to the SNC-Lavalin affair.
#Budget2019
#cdnpoli
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Olives honestly gave us so much. Oil, and um... olives?? Like the list goes on truly god tier - fruit? Vegetable?
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Booked my ticket for Ottawa. I’m going to get to the bottom of this “economic crisis”. Will update soon.
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If the social science department learns that I have never read an article in full they are going to make me transfer to Telfer help
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I’m worried if I adopt a cat it’ll end up voting Conservative and then I’d have to cancel it.
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Women hating men is natural, when men hate women they kill us by the dozens hmmm what does this mean
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why are people mad about the try guy cheating? He tried being a slut and liked it…? Isn’t that the whole point?
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I also got the one in black. The Sherrif of Nottingham vibes bitch, the way I’m going to be dancing to medieval trap remixes in my kitchen... no one is ready. 2021 babyyyyy
I recently purchased this mid 18th century, pirate, Mr. Darcy Regency era shirt just for me to wear alone at home. Don’t ever ask me how I’m doing ever again. I’m doing just fine.
#blessed
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Conservatives when they hear Ben Shapiro say “facts don’t care about your feelings”
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This makes me so happy
Reconstruction of Kobanê, Rojava
How it started: How it’s going:
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call me a hopeless romantic but I think that consensual cannibalism is quite passionate. Obviously I would not do it myself (I am in a calorie deficit).
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I’m so excited for the avengers to finally end Christ it has been 10 years they have abs I get it move on!!
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The worst thing is when single people make a post on Valentine’s Day talking about its “single people awareness day”. Stop appropriating couple culture‼️
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I’ve come back from my cave. Many enlightened thoughts have revealed themselves to me, will be sharing soon…
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