Thoughts of Dog
@dog_feelings
Followers
3M
Following
5K
Media
39
Statuses
1K
sometimes. the human presses their noggin against mine. to figure out what i’m thinking. so i just think really hard. about how much i love them. and hope they figure it out.
2K
71K
357K
i wasn’t a good dog today. april fools. i was so good.
880
45K
354K
the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together.
1K
52K
330K
today. i wasn’t a very good dog. april fools. i was so good.
785
37K
330K
SOMEONE LEFT A FULL PLATE OF COOKIES. AND A GLASS OF MILK. RIGHT BY THE FIREPLACE FOR ME. I AM NOT KIDDING. WHAT A NIGHT.
731
24K
295K
today. i wasn’t a very good dog. april fools. i was so good.
489
58K
296K
i had a long talk. with my fren. about how to spot. a fake ball throw. the optimal strategy. is to follow the ball. with your eyes. instead of your heart.
1K
54K
257K
you are tough. you are scary. you are a good boy. but also a scary one. if the situation calls for it.
932
44K
257K
the best thing i did. this entire decade. was love you.
1K
38K
239K
there are no rules these days. i didn’t even put my collar on today. just walked around the house naked.
987
28K
238K
the human has only smiled once today. it was when i rolled over. with my feets in the air. and sneezed. it wasn’t on purpose. but they seemed to really enjoy it. so since then. i’ve been lying on my back. desperately trying to sneeze.
799
30K
237K
today. i wasn’t a very good dog. april fools. i was so good.
492
17K
235K
i wasn’t a good dog today. april fools. i was so good.
466
18K
225K
i forgot to tell the human. what i wanted for christmas. but that’s okay. it’s hard to wrap a hug.
838
36K
213K
the human is fast asleep. but i jumped on their bed. and cuddled close. to remind them that i love them. because the nighttime is long. and i’m worried they might forget.
988
25K
212K
occasionally during our walks. someone will pass us. and completely ignore my human. but whisper hello to me. i really enjoy this.
990
20K
208K
occasionally. the freezer will provide crunch water. this is way better than regular water. because of the crunch.
949
24K
207K
gooooob morning. i helped walk the small neighbor human. to the bus at the end of the street. i tried to get on with them. but was quickly denied. they know that with an education. i’d be too powerful.
538
27K
206K
every time i get brushed. i have to take my collar off. the human always laughs. and says that i’m naked. but joke’s on them. i’m very confident in my body.
592
32K
198K
on our walk today. i tried to say hello to a person passing by. but they backed away. and continued on. without so much as a smile. the human later explained. that not everyone is going to like me. and i need to be okay with that. but here’s the thing. i’m not okay with that.
2K
29K
196K
THE HUMAN JUST GRABBED THEIR KEYS. AND MY LEASH. THEY ARE PUTTING ON. THEIR OUTSIDE FEET. I DO BELIEVE. IT IS ADVENTURE TIME.
660
12K
194K
i like to leave as much of my hair. around the house as possible. it is my confetti. i am a party.
1K
35K
194K
if you start leaving the house again. who will be around to say. ohhh big stretch. every time i do a stretch.
808
25K
193K
there are many humans in the household right now. and they all seem to have snacks. so i’m going to convince each and every one of them. that i have not eaten. in several weeks.
591
21K
188K
the human came home today. with a new stuffed fren for me. they called it a koala. and as they knelt down to hand it over. they mentioned it could use. all the love i have right now.
871
21K
187K
surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out.
633
30K
185K
personally. i don’t think you should set off fireworks. for any reason ever.
1K
22K
179K
we went to a new park today. and right at the entrance. was a big bucket of tennis balls with a little sign. that the human said was there in memory of a very good dog. who really liked tennis balls. and that i could play with one. to help that very good dog be remembered.
1K
16K
181K
the human seems distracted. so i put my paw on their knee. and now they know. that whatever it is. we’re in it together.
724
25K
182K
nobody ever told me. when you wake up from a nap. you can immediately start another one. that was something i figured out. all by myself.
623
23K
182K
at the park today. i noticed the human glancing at another human. so i made my way over. and sat on their foot. forcing my human to come apologize for me. i am a matchmaker.
435
14K
181K
i know there’s bad in the world. and it would be silly. to pretend it isn’t there. but for now here’s my leash. and a few licks on your hand. to convince you that one day. we will be alright.
1K
32K
178K
sometimes. the human needs a break from the world. so i grab my leash. drop it in their hand. and we take a walk. where all we have to focus on. is putting one paw in front of the other.
753
27K
178K
i was told. whenever a square car with sirens passes by. they are on their way to help. so i always howl along. to let everyone know. i’m helping too.
594
17K
178K
sometimes. i'll lean against your leg. and it's not because. i'm afraid to lose my balance. it's just that. i'm afraid to lose you.
1K
21K
177K
i would like more frens. so i have made a list of my best qualities. for your consideration. 6. am fluffy.1. can jump (and sit).C. sometimes i sneeze. i look forward. to hearing from you.
3K
18K
176K
i had been asleep several hours. when the human decided to wake me up with a hug. that’s no problem. it’s what i’m here for.
506
19K
177K
i found a really good stick. but i chewed it too hard. and it broke in half. which was disappointing until i realized. now i have two sticks. today has been. an emotional roller coaster.
537
21K
176K
it is the human’s first time trying to change the world. and they are exhausted. so while they rest for a little bit. i have stolen their sign. and will trot proudly around the house with it. until they are ready. to fight again.
603
22K
174K
gooooob morning. i’m being told. someone came down the chimney last night. this is preposterous. i would’ve lost my mind.
440
20K
176K
we were at the store today. and i found a stuffed penguin that i really fancied. i tried to carry it out. but was stopped before the exit. i am not a criminal. i just have no money.
959
19K
175K
WE ARE AT THE PARK. BUT THE HUMAN SAYS IT’S TIME TO LEAVE. WHICH DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. BECAUSE THEY CAN’T CATCH ME.
560
18K
175K
gooooob morning. the human made me a pancake. in the shape of a heart. it tasted similar to a circle pancake. but meant a lot more.
319
18K
176K
the human hasn’t smiled much today. and i’m not sure why. but i have a squeaker toy that looks like a cupcake. and i am coming. to the rescue.
445
28K
174K
i hear a noise. i think it’s the garaGE DOOR. IT IS THE GARAGE DOOR. THE HUMAN IS HOME. AND MY FEETS. THEY ARE A TIPPY TAPPIN.
487
16K
174K
do not start. with those sky booms. i don’t like them. and you don’t deserve them.
688
21K
165K
the human went out. to have fun with some frens. they promised they’d be back soon. so i’m not worried at all. and in the meantime. i found an old jacket. that smells like they’re still here. it will be my new bed. until they return.
632
19K
169K
gooooob morning. i’m going to need a lot of attention today. i can just tell.
876
32K
169K
i will love you. for all eternity. and in return. could you please wipe away my eye boogers.
1K
19K
167K
i decided that today. is bring your human to work day. we stared out the window for hours. and they helped me spot the cars. it was magical.
581
19K
167K
i worked. so. hard. to get the squeaker out of that toy. and you just. threw it away.
932
14K
166K
sometimes. i’ll pretend i need to tell you a secret. but when you lean in close. i’ll lick your ear instead. i am a master of deception.
570
19K
167K
i went outside one more time before bed. the human kept calling me. but the stars look so nice right now. if i sit and enjoy them long enough. the human will have no choice. but to come out. and enjoy them with me.
599
18K
167K
i just found out. that not everything is about me. and i’m devastated. to say the least.
2K
29K
166K
there is a tree. growing inside the house. it wasn’t here earlier. but it’s here now. the human doesn’t seem concerned. so i think its our family now. he will be my veggie fren. and i shall call him steven.
922
20K
165K
my ball rolled under the couch. and i cannot reach it. the human has been informed of the issue. and reminded. that my problems. are their problems.
859
20K
165K
if you leave the room i’m in. i will always follow you to the next one. whatever this adventure is. you don’t have to do it alone.
655
22K
164K
i have spent the whole day. watching the human make a gingerbread house. the final touch. was a little icing dog. staring out one of the windows. now it’s a gingerbread home.
433
17K
163K
i may have gotten bigger. but my desire to be held. has remained constant.
658
23K
164K
the human worked all day. so we didn’t spend much time together. this upsets them more than anything. because who knows how long any of us have. but they’re here now. and i really hope they realize. all i need. is for them to hold my paw. until i fall asleep.
1K
18K
163K
i have finally narrowed it down. to a few possible reasons. the human is home all the time now. 4. can’t stand being away from me.c. loves me so much.1. my presence is a gift.
1K
22K
162K
i took a little trip. to the school down the road. and waited very patiently. as the human checked some boxes. to try and change the world.
622
28K
160K
gooooob morning. i was told that this year. is the year of the belly rub. please don’t look that up. you can trust me.
670
20K
161K
gooooob morning. i think today. i’ll lie on the porch. with my front paws crossed. and let the sun shine on my face through the trees. occasionally i will rollover. so it shines on my belly. nobody will stop me. because i deserve this.
601
16K
162K
the human just came home. smelling like another dog. this isn’t a problem. i’m totally not upset. if anybody needs me. i’ll be over here. wondering what i ever did to deserve this.
862
21K
161K
the small neighbor human. goes back to school tomorrow. so we spent the whole day together. doing our favorite things. i understand education is important. but here’s the thing. so am i.
317
16K
160K
exactly one year ago. a package arrived for me. and little did i know. that inside. would be the very best stuffed fren. anyone could ever ask for. happy birthday sebastian.
1K
14K
160K
WE’RE GOING ON A HIKE. AND I’M CARRYING MY TRAVEL BOWL. IN CASE OF THIRST. BUT I HAVE To keep stopping. and looking back. because the human is slow. and i am speedy.
469
15K
159K
gooooob morning. i know you’ve got a lot going on right now. so i wanted to mention. i think you’re doing great.
979
30K
159K
i know you have a lot going on right now. so i just want to say. i think you’re doing great.
1K
35K
158K
THE GARAGE DOOR IS OPENING. THE HUMAN IS HOME. THE WEEKEND HAS BEGUN. PLEASE HELP. I CAN’T STOP SPINNING.
416
15K
156K
the human said. they might make pancakes in the morning. so the faster i fall asleep. the sooner i get a pancake. as you can imagine. it’s hard to snoozle. under so much pressure.
480
19K
157K
if you see me sitting outside a store. being all good. while my human shops inside. you must come pat my noggin. that’s the law.
663
14K
157K
my tail is blurry. and my feets. are a tippy tappin.
623
17K
153K
gooooob morning. there is a box. underneath my tree fren steven. that smells like peanut butter. i am trying my best. to remain calm. but i think it’s for me.
605
16K
155K
i was lying on the couch. all snuggled up with the human. when they got up and left the room. it’s like they don’t know. that without attention. i will explode.
739
19K
156K
the small neighbor human came over. with an early gift for me. it was a little locket for my collar. and inside was a pebble. they said they picked it up. the first time they went on a walk with me. i would do anything. for the small neighbor human.
480
11K
154K
i heard there is a ball dropping later. does anybody have the details? i am interested in that.
532
12K
154K
hi. if you would like to cuddle. i certainly wouldn’t oppose.
722
22K
154K
gooooob morning. the first time you wake up. could be a mistake. it’s best to fall back to sleep. just to be safe.
677
22K
154K
there was a sandwich. on the edge of the counter. and now there isn’t. those are all the details. we can confirm so far. the piece of lettuce on my nose. is purely circumstantial.
837
17K
152K
the human keeps a picture of me. on the front of their little computer. so they can show everyone they meet. wherever they go. just how beautiful i am.
2K
15K
153K
the human had another video call today. but this time. they put me in front of the screen. gave me their headset. and walked away. it may have been a joke to them. but this is exactly the promotion. i have been waiting for.
415
15K
152K
it is really cool. that this year. i was given a whole extra day to love you.
436
21K
153K
one time. i was having a nightmare. and the human noticed. so they held my paw. to make sure i knew. everything was going to be okay.
469
16K
152K
WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH. I CAN SMELL THE OCEAN. I’M GOING TO EAT THE SAND.
624
11K
152K
apparently. we lost an entire hour of sleep the other night. which is rude. so to get my revenge. i will be sleeping all day every day. for the rest of the year.
527
21K
152K
i did not get much sleep last night. because of your sky booms. to make up for this. i will be extending all snoozles. by 15 percent. for the rest of the year.
516
11K
150K
gooooob morning. i am already very tired. so i really think. we should all try again tomorrow.
613
31K
151K
i made a list. of reasons you should hang out with me today. 4. i am fun.c. i am soft.2. i will listen. to your silly human problems.8. you can pick the snacks.a. i love you.
601
18K
150K
the human is hosting a get together this evening. and i am told there will be snacks. so my goal. will be to convince every single guest. that i have not eaten. in several weeks.
512
23K
150K
we were in the car. stopped at a grey light. when i accidentally dropped my stuffed fren sebastian out the window. the human saved him. and as far as i could tell. nobody in the cars around us. seemed to mind the delay.
725
11K
149K
sometimes. i’m inside. and want to go outside. but as soon as the human opens the door. i change my mind. this is not my fault. i am a fluid. yet increasingly complicated soul.
736
21K
148K
the human went out tonight. and i hope they’re having fun. but i can’t fall asleep. until they’ve returned safe and sound. so for the sake of my snoozle. please hurry home.
526
12K
150K
if your day didn’t go well. that’s perfectly fine. because now you get to dream. and who knows what could happen. i hope i dream i’m a penguin. so i can zoom on my belly.
541
26K
149K
so sorry to interrupt. but i hope all your dreams come true.
650
31K
148K