Dessie Clark, PhD
@dessielclark
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Sustainability. UW-Madison. WISELI. Tweets are my own. she/her/Dr dessieleeclark @gmail .com
Joined October 2016
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I left my abusive advisor in 2018. I completed my PhD in 2020. I won’t finish paying my attorneys for the legal fees related to the harassment, stalking, and retaliation for 6 more months. This is why people don’t report. Even heavily discounted, this is cost prohibitive.
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I wrote this today and I think it may be the most important thing I have ever written. 💜 I’m almost PhinisheD.
#AcademicChatter
#AcademicTwitter
#MeTooSTEM
#STEMToo
#MeTooPhD
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My cat is on anxiety meds and I’ve been feeling like they are not working which is accurate because I FOUND A STASH OF PILLS HES BEEN SPITTING OUT IN MY OFFICE
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Updated my CV today and noticed something:
2 yrs in Master’s program: 2 pubs
2.5 yrs w/ toxic mentor: 1 pub
< 2 yrs post-lab change: 5 pubs
Bad mentorship doesn’t just impact you personally, it impacts you professionally.
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Occasionally I pop my head out of academia and realize people my age have permanent jobs, own their homes, and have been saving for retirement for several years. I don’t have any of those things, but I do have a few fancy pieces of paper I never framed in a box somewhere.
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I came out as bisexual to my friends and family tonight and I am so terrified I want to turn off my phone. Tell me it’s going to be okay. 🌈✨
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The academic job market is like the Bachelor. Institutions are dating multiple people. If you’re lucky you make it to hometown visits & you begin to imagine your future together. All the while you know they’re dating other people & there’s only one final rose.
#AcademicTwitter
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The verdict in this case reinforces what many survivors already know, abusers can weaponize the legal system to do tremendous harm and inflict additional trauma on those who dare speak out about abuse.
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guess who did NOT pass her daycare evaluation? 😭😮💨
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7 yrs ago, I was raped. Today, (almost) 6 yrs ago, my federal trial came to an end w/ a "not guilty" verdict. I swore I'd always pay it forward. When justice failed, my heart splintered. When a survivor gets justice, it helps me heal. We've come so far & have a long way to go.
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I'm concerned folks (like me) who are post-defense & on the market this year are going to fall through the cracks. We're facing rescinded offers & failed or frozen searches. We can't get an extra year of funding because we aren't students. And, the market next year looks bleak.
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CW Rape
I just reviewed a manuscript where the author stated that people with disabilities who are raped consider it a "favor".
I have written a strongly worded email and now I will continue to lose my mind while fully engulfed in a sea of rage. 🤬
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I did not expect to cry in my department’s virtual graduation celebration this morning and then my advisor selected a poem that made her think of me and read it aloud. 😭
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@robertschueller
I taught a class at a college for an entire semester. We met multiple times a week. I prepared lectures. I graded assignments. My entire pay, before taxes, from January to May, was $2,100.
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Being a woman means sending a text to your neighbor like,
“I have two men coming to buy a couch can you keep an eye out in case they murder me? LOL! Thanks girl!”
And her replying,
“LOL. I’ll put the baby down and weed the flower beds so I have a clear view of your door!”
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Today, during a meeting, I side texted something shady to the person who was sharing their screen and the texts popped up for all to see on Zoom.
Anyway, it was good knowing all of you. I'm going to go die of embarrassment now.
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surviving graduate school
Name something that 𝙞𝙨𝙣'𝙩 an Olympic sport, but 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 like an Olympic sport 🤔
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I earned my PhD, but this is what it cost me. You can be both successful and vulnerable.
#AcademicChatter
#AcademicTwitter
#MeToo
#MeTooPhD
#STEMToo
#MeTooSTEM
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I PhinisheD. I can confirm it is definitely the most important thing I’ve ever written. Especially now.
#AcademicChatter
#AcademicTwitter
#STEMToo
I wrote this today and I think it may be the most important thing I have ever written. 💜 I’m almost PhinisheD.
#AcademicChatter
#AcademicTwitter
#MeTooSTEM
#STEMToo
#MeTooPhD
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Y’all an apartment complex just told me that my pets would have to be enrolled in a Doggie DNA program where I give them each dogs DNA so they can run samples of any poop that isn’t picked up to identify the offender and I am SHOOK this exists.
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Yesterday was a big day in my little lab! Now that we’ve done all the notifying, I’m happy to announce I’ve accepted a position at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and my undergraduate RA will be pursuing her PhD at Arizona State University! I am thrilled! 😄
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"You've listed your husband as having a different last name than you. Have you changed yours yet?"
"No, I won't be changing it."
"But, you are married?"
"Yes."
"And, he like, lives at the same address as you?"
"Yes."
"Weird."
#EverydaySexism
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Today my husband said, “remember when that t-shirt used to be big?”* while I was putting it on.
He is now for sale.
*He claims he was making a point about an ongoing conversation we’ve been having about our dryer settings and shrinking clothes.
He is still for sale.
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I cannot believe in 2021 people still say you can send them a fax like it’s a reasonable suggestion.
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My pride and joy. The source of my dissertation work. The longitudinal study that I carefully tended to for over 4 years. Has significant findings. I don’t even have words.
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Y’ALL. I GOT A CAMPUS INTERVIEW.
I will now be accepting all tips, words of wisdom, and advice for nailing the campus visit.
#AcademicTwitter
#AcademicChatter
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I’m proud to say when my job ends I won’t pursue the tenure track. I may stick around academia, but TT isn’t for me. As my mentor said, “I’d love to say the Dessie we value so much could be herself on the TT, but that’s not true”. I’ve known that and it feels good to share. 🎉
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What’s happening?
I accepted a job offer. That’s what’s happening.
Details to come later as there are a few people we need to tell first.
After everything. Against a lot of odds. I have a job. I did it, y’all.
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@The_RickMc
I do get that. I try to be careful because my parents run a tile business and a farm so I see the physical wear and tear. It is not to be taken lightly.
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I'm thrilled to announce I will be the new Director of Curriculum Development & Implementation at the Women in Science & Engineering Leadership Institute (WISELI) at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. My work will focus on gender equity, diversity, and climate in academia. 1/5
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Question - is there someone in your field/sub-field that you refuse to cite because of discrimination/harassment/ misconduct/etc? If asked, how do you explain why you won't cite them? Thinking of tricky situations where bad behavior is known but maybe not "formally" acknowledged.
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Louis is currently standing trial for the allegation of consuming Easy Mac while the humans left the house.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what say you?
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The only friends you’re going to lose for speaking up about racial injustice are your racist friends.
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For those who are new, I study intimate partner violence & some of my recent/current work involves examining disability (among other variables).
I also identify as having a disability & being a survivor of sexual assault.
This is both personally & professionally distressing.
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I didn't get a job today. What I got was a rejection (which I responded to for feedback). Within 1hr I got great (& frankly, uplifting/encouraging) feedback from the Chair. I don't think I've ever felt so confident/self-assured in rejection. Let's do this more.
#AcademicChatter
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This is Rudy. Y’all want to know why he is anxious. Idk, these pictures suggest he’s really struggling at work.
This experience taught me my cat can get high through his ears and I’ll carry that knowledge with me forever.
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Hi. Just learned the Department of Education agreed that Dr. Cris Sullivan and MSU violated my rights under FERPA and took corrective action including a policy change in the OIE office.
Brb. Crying tears of validation/relief.
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I hate fireworks.
I hate it for my pets. I hate it for my veteran partner. I hate it for my anxiety. I hate it for our planet.
Why.
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Today I took the step of hiring someone to help me prepare materials to apply for non-academic jobs. I feel so relieved. I’ve been trying to figure it out on my own/with help from academics and it just isn’t working. I actually feel like I may get a job and actually be okay. 😭
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One key component of my story (which happened after the article) was that she sent portions of my academic record to a journalist - violating my rights under FERPA. In a rare glimmer of justice, the US Dept. of Education investigated and acknowledged violations by her and MSU.
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Now that it’s official, I’ve been promoted! You’re looking at UMass ADVANCE’s Associate Director for Program Assessment and Research Collaboration! 🎉
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I applied to the same conference for 5 years straight and never had any work accepted. I accidentally sent in the wrong file, an abstract RIDDLED with notes and typos, and it got accepted. 💀
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I’ve wanted a Kitchen Aid mixer for a long time but they’re super unaffordable. I finally found a good one at Goodwill with bowl, attachments, etc. for $80. I was originally embarrassed because it’s very old (made in the 80s), but let me tell y’all this is a quality mixer. 🤯
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A fun personal fact no one wants/asked for. Whenever I was struggling during my PhD I coined “potato days”. Potato days are when I lay in bed uninterrupted all day & watch TV, read, etc. I eat in bed, yield all pet duties, & am a potato. Anyway, doing that today. It’s great.
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I'm linking to coverage of my experience. I have mixed feelings because this doesn't tell the whole story (and I take issue with the DARVO). But, I've never felt compelled to write it all up and this hits the highlights.
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I didn’t cry when I defended my dissertation.
I didn’t cry when I got my diploma in hand.
I cried today. I cried today realizing it’s finally done and I am moving on as Dr.
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Now feels like a good time to say having an abortion saved my life and without one I would not be here.
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@bairdlet
I just did. This was one of several incredibly offensive statements before I just stopped reading it entirely. This should not be read by anyone and certainly not published. I have never not finished a review before but I felt like I had to here. It was heinous.
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@thoughtsofaphd
@CNBC
@CNBCMakeIt
We’ve been having a big discussion about this on my FB. We’ve decided that with donations being that high there is some tax fraud happening. 😂
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Good news - you're not likely to die from anxiety.
Bad news - that doesn't stop you from feeling like you will. 🙃
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I’m proud to announce I was not awarded a multi-million dollar grant I applied for as a new investigator/early career PI. This marks my first rejection over the million dollar mark & I’d like to thank everyone who has supported me. I look forward to more rejections in the future.
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I wasn’t brave enough to do it in the first iteration, but I feel like I want to do it now. Not only am I a fat woman, I’m a woman with disabilities. Here is a picture of me that shows my feet. I have literally, never ever, posted a picture of my feet on the internet before.
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@ArthistoryC
@Trades
No snobbery around trades. My parents own a tile business and are farmers.
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Vet is on the way. Enjoying what will probably be my last moments with Toby. I am never going to be okay again.
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The survivor guilt @ the end of my PhD is intense. There are so many grad students who deserved to finish but couldn’t/didn’t or are stuck wondering if they’ll ever graduate. Some of those people are my friends. It feels wrong to be happy or celebrate when it could’ve been me. 💔
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.
@abbynissenbaum
has been expelled from Clark University following her reports of research misconduct, gender-based misconduct, & retaliation. Please consider sharing & contributing to help w/ legal costs.
#AcademicTwitter
#MeTooSTEM
#MeTooPhD
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I don’t know who made this but I can’t stop laughing.
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My fmr advisor disclosed I had a disability in a faculty meeting. Another faculty member asked what my disability was. This shouldn’t have been disclosed/a topic of conversation. This meeting was secretly audio recorded by a faculty member.
#AcademicChatter
#Psychology
#MSU
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Co-worker cried, incessantly, during a meeting. Figuring it was an emergency, I let him outside. Here we are...
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“dream jobs” are capitalist propaganda.
send tweet.
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Today my parents expressed concern for sex workers who may not be able to work as usual during
#COVID19
. And with that I have successfully completed my mission as liberal, feminist daughter from a southern family. Please mail me my check.
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I just signed the lease on my first post-divorce apartment. A million feelings, but mainly pride. I figured it out. I made it happen, all by myself. 🎉
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Pictured: Closure. MSU finally sent me the thousands of pages of documents related to my PhD experience. Emails, notes, complaints - everything that happened to me. It was important to me I re-possess my story. Now I have. So glad I can tell my story, but no longer live it. 💜
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As a PhD student I remember feeling frustrated because I often found opportunities, but lacked the PI support needed to pursue them. If there are any students who need support in some capacity from someone who holds a PhD, & I’m qualified to give that support, I’m willing. 💜
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I got SO MANY things I needed to do done today. Someone tell me you’re proud of me. I broke two weeks of work paralysis and I need praise. ⭐️
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No one told me, so I’m gonna tell y’all. 90% of consulting is getting people to actually pay you what they agreed to.
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I’m looking to connect with PhDs who have transitioned to work for the government.
*Love my job, but it does end in a few years and I’m interested in exploring this non academic avenue.
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No more vague tweets. My sister is in the ICU needing an emergency procedure. An ambulance transferred her after being unable to breathe. She has a newborn daughter and blood clots in her lungs. They have to be removed. We haven’t spoke in a long time and I love her so much. 😭
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@FromPhDtoLife
You were expected to travel for work (i.e. conferences) but you had to pay for it yourself.
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I’m defending my dissertation tomorrow. Hype me up, fam.
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I know I'm neglecting many, for that I'm sorry, but here are some graduate students who lost their lives in 2019: John Brady, Thao Thi Thanh Tran, Samantha Strawn, Kelly Catlin, Huixiang Chen, & Yu Qian. We need to remember the names of all the colleagues we lose to this crisis.
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Y’all my best friend (
@johnvrsh
) is a Respiratory Therapist who has worked ICU during COVID.
Today multiple people commented on the weight he’s gained during COVID.
The weight he has gained while SAVING LIVES.
Show this man some love, y’all! He is a hero!
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Rebecca, Katie, & Rachael all sided w/ my abuser when I came forward. Becki also blatantly interfered in the ongoing investigation (as evaluator of OIE), to the extent my lawyers intervened to halt altering evidence + witness tampering. This may be a good paper, but from who?
🚨NEW PAPER ALERT🚨
Check out this paper, out now in Psychology of Women Quarterly entitled "Understanding Sexual Assault Survivors’ Perspectives on Archiving Qualitative Data: Implications for Feminist Approaches to Open Science."
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I left my lab on 12/10/18. My former advisor was told on at least two occasions, in writing by admins, not to talk about me. On 4/3/19 she is still talking badly about me/using ableist language w/ colleagues. Are we going to call this retaliation yet?
#AcademicChatter
#PhD
#MSU
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I had a meeting with my RAs this morning & we were having fun with Zoom backgrounds.
Cut to a job interview a few hours later where my video auto-started with the last background I'd used.
I wonder if the search committee was impressed I was joining them live from Hogwarts.
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Every time I tweet about this issue, which I am very passionate about, I lose followers.
Restaurants that serve breakfast all day should also serve lunch all day. I do not want eggs for dinner, but I do want chicken nuggets for breakfast.
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I'm just....not going to pay several hundred dollars for a virtual conference.
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I'm a real doctor. When I give talks as a subject matter expert, I expect to be addressed as such.
When I'm in my MD's office I refer to him as Dr. and he calls me Dessie. When he's at one of my talks, he'd call me Dr. Clark. It's not that hard to understand.
How do you tell a medical doctor?
Real doctors: *reluctant to state they are doctors in public/social forums*
Non-MD/DOs: *take every opportunity to say they are a doctor…* (chiropractors, naturopaths, pharmacists, apothecaries, charlatans…)
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In BIG news - my spouse and I will be temporarily relocating to Louisiana in a few weeks. Our jobs, plans, etc. remain the same. Yet, in this time when we can work from home, it’s important to be near/support my parents and their farm. We’re relived beyond words. 💜
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Today’s takeaway from therapy is that if I would have had (basically any) emotional support from my first doctoral advisor it would have solved a lot of problems.
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Today I got emotional in front of one of my supervisors because I feel so grateful and relieved that I can be every ounce of my authentic, outspoken, depressed, passionate, funny, anxious, chaotic, self in my job. I never feel the need to dull my sparkle. 💫
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We have a unicorn! 🦄 R&R in the house and reviewer 2 even recommended publishing as is! Really excited to make a few small changes and get this paper published! Much needed good news! 🎉🙂
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Reminder the morning after pill has a weight limit of 155lbs for optimal efficacy and has limited to no efficacy above 175lbs.
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I just found out my work with survivors of gender-based violence is going to be included in a TEXTBOOK on community engaged research. I know this doesn’t “count” the same way other products do but I am SO excited!
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It has been 2 years and 12 days since I first sat in an administrators office and cried about what I was experiencing. 742 days later and I am still sitting in administrator’s offices crying.
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This is why survivors don’t come forward and share their stories. Confidential means confidential, no matter what. This is something true advocates know and safe guard to the fullest extent. The thought of releasing that information is not even fathomable. This is a subtweet.
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I spent $50 on tests yesterday and my partner and I are already having conversations about how to make them stretch (in ways that are NOT best practices like just one of us testing after gatherings). We both understand the science and yet we’re still having these convos because $
ALSO.
Covid rapid testing kits that cost $25 a pop are just too expensive for so many people, especially during the holidays.
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I’ve accepted a job. I can’t say more till things are done and dusted. But, I’ve accepted a job and I am so elated on so many levels. A longer thread to come later about *all the things*.
Yes, it’s academic (I’m shocked too!).
No, it’s not TT (or faculty of any kind).
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I called my best friend a few weeks ago and told her I really needed her here to help me get my life together.
She’s been here < 12 hours and we’ve already packed an entire floor of my house while also listening to 2010s club music so things are 15/10.
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Y’ALL. THE UNDERGRADUATE RESEARCH ASSISTANT I HAVE BEEN MENTORING GOT INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL.
This is the first student I’ve written multiple letters of rec for so I was extra invested! 😃
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