Drámon Verde
@delamomanny
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Following
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Statuses
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Occasional good jokes and I create my own memes sometimes 📸: @delamomanny
Joined March 2016
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Pinned Tweet
Why would I be nervous? Does a shark get nervous before it swims? Does an eagle get nervous before it flies? It’s just another step towards the inevitability that is my full potential.
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Call me old school but this kinda of kissing should be reserved for strangers in the club
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Me, finally having a child in 2046: "go outside and play with your cousin"
My child: "but he's 34..."
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Me about to say “happy 25th birthday” to the attractive, 45-year old recent divorcée in the office
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Canada: “Do not rush back to go outside, we will help you pay your bills monthly until it is safe.”
The United States:
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You and your girlfriend of 6 years after going to the wedding of a couple that’s been together a shorter time than y’all:
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“I'm liable to go Michael, take your pick: Jackson, Tyson, Jordan...Game 6.”
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Kamala Harris choking down that Popeyes cuz she need the black vote:
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As a hater, I’m glad NFTs fell THE FUCK OFF cuz that was always a dumb idea and y’all tried to tell me I didn’t get it
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$10 in LA gets you a parking spot 27 blocks away.
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Job Interview: “Work will require a lot of travel, can you do that?”
Me:
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kyrie has the craziest layup portfolio ever
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BREAKING: The Orange County Board of Education voted 4-1 to recommend that schools reopen, without masks or social distancing. The final decision rests with each district
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Me when I was on my parent's health insurance vs. paying for it now:
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“Please do not spread coronavirus by gathering in large groups.”
America:
WATCH: Hundreds of people are lined up to get into a Costco in Canyon Country amid the coronavirus outbreak.
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Your kids are short cuz you keep having sex with people you love instead of thinking about the NBA. Very POOR retirement planning.
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Lie again!
nobody from team jordan has ever had a good signature shoe if we being honest.
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Y’all really put parsley on everything...
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Being 31 is coo cuz that means your high school crush has been weakened by a divorce and two kids so your time is now bro go for it
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@fuckDariuss
When I just came for the free food and the family of the deceased say “who mans is this?”
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“Whoa, your son is in college? You must’ve had him super young!”
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CEO of 3D, a start up tech company that 3D prints vegan rice cakes.
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Don’t have anything for this yet but saving for a rainy day:
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This a typical reaction...baby or adult 😂
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Rick Ross made fun of Drake but missed out on the fact that “Graham” is a cracker
Let me ghost write man
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“Y’all know that Polio Vaccine is killing people”
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Malice in the Palace doc was great, now do one on how the NBA cheated the ‘02 Sacramento Kings
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Trey Songz and R. Kelly in the prison talent show next year:
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Skip Bayless in his kitchen immediately after getting some Jordan 12s:
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When you accidentally make eye contact with the dude that sells shoe cleaner at the mall:
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All ya friends wanna get married in clusters huh...just fuck all my summer plans huh?! I AM OUT OF SUITS GUYS...might pull up in a work polo.
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Girl on the car ride back talm bout “that was just a love reception wasn’t it?”
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They blessed KD with that cut.
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Coronavirus done cleared up traffic, lowered gas and airline prices. You know what...
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Never had a woman in your home huh?
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Y’all want me to believe that I need to get a knife to access a less efficient knife. Stop.
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“I saw a Tik Tok” - someone about to post the worst misinformation in history
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By the grace of God and the tireless support of my parents, I secured a property:
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CUSTOMER SERVICE IS UNMATCHED 🗣
Couple unexpectedly delivers baby at Chick-fil-A; baby will get free Chick-fil-A food for life and guaranteed job at 14
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21 Savage, first day in the U.S: “‘ello, go—“
Zone-6 8th graders:
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“Manny you work at Verizon now?”
“Naw, my cousin just let me borrow this polo...dry cleaning late.”
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Imagine being from California but not from the 310 🥴
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Lol at using FBI resources to find a stolen jersey or payments to student athletes. Like half of U.S. homocides are unsolved but let’s get to the bottom of DeAndre Ayton’s Acura?
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While you’re here: stay healthy, stay safe, be kind, and most importantly don’t post your music here...WE ARE GOOD 😂
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I hate when I click Close Friends and it be something innocent. Like who are you hiding these tacos from Angela???
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I was on the fence about getting an $80,000 degree but then they waived a $200 test and I was SOLD.
Graduate schools are waiving GRE requirements for 2020. GO GET YOUR MASTERS!!!!
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Chipotle Worker: “The fajitas will be out in a couple minutes, do you mind waiting?”
Me:
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Lakers: Brandon Ingram and a 1st
Spurs: Plus Kuzma and another 1st
Lakers: Bro what?
Spurs: JULIUS RANDLE TOO
Lakers: No, that’s exces—
Spurs: THROW GAMORA OFF A CLIFF DO YOU WANT KAWHI OR NOT 🗣
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UCR students eating at Santana’s sober for the first time:
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“Don’t put the pot in the fridge” fam I will put the whole airfryer in the fridge idc
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I’m at Panera Bread (very rich) and the cashier (very fine) says “your number is 21.”
I reply “okay, what’s your number tho 😏”
I didn’t actually say that, but I should’ve. Currently eating a cobb salad ALONE.
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“Ice cream machine broke but I’m not 💯 😤 💴”
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