deconstruction girl
@deconstructgirl
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Pinned Tweet
The Bible: “…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
Christians:
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My whole life has led up to the comedic perfection of this moment
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Yeah sex is great but have you ever experienced the pure joy of not believing in hell anymore
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Perhaps the most disturbing thing about the concept of a literal hell is how badly Christians want it to be real
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Christian girls be like “There’s no one else on the planet like this man, God broke the mold when he made you” and it’s just Connor, human equivalent of a Honda Accord, whose favorite food is toast and thinks taking off your bra is adequate foreplay
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Church youth groups will be called stuff like “⚡️EXTREME EDGE💥” and it’s just fourteen kids with b.o. meeting in a storage room, sharing one pizza sliced into 67 pieces by someone named Pastor Shane
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Before you comment on someone’s post about religious trauma to tell them what they experienced wasn’t “real Christianity,” please consider one thing: don’t
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Just a reminder that I do not post about my religious trauma for sympathy. I’ll be just fine.
I share it to expose religion for what it is and was to so many of us: a hothouse of abuse.
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Trying to act normal in the dating pool after purity culture like
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Dad: so what church are you going to now?
Me:
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Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s years of religious trauma.™️
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My parents: I know *you* rejected God but I’m still going to make sure my grandchildren know the truth about salvation
Me:
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Christians: women wearing hijab is so controlling
Also Christians: have this baby or you’re going to prison
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Normalize flipping off your abusive old church as you drive by
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I’m in my Bible girl era (cutting off men’s hair in their sleep and talking to serpents)
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If I text you “✝️🗡🏛” it means get in loser we’re going to fight for the separation of church and state
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Me: had a rich, devoted prayer life, a “personal relationship with Jesus,” happily went to Christian k-12 & university, spoke in tongues, did mission trips, read my Bible daily, led VBS, sang in the choir, listened to worship music all the time
Christians:
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Christians: the Bible is literal and inerrant
Also Christians: Jesus helping the poor & marginalized was a metaphor
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Check your kids’ candy! I just found critical thinking skills in a Snickers bar
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I’ve now been without electricity for FIVE days in the second richest state. That is longer than I was without electricity during Hurricane Katrina, in the second poorest state.
Don’t mess with Texas (because our infrastructure can’t handle it)
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Once I heal my religious trauma, reintegrate myself, learn to make sourdough bread from scratch, and stop impulse-buying candles it’s over for you hoes
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Pastors describing their plan to expand the church campus
▶️🔘———————— 03:41:09
Pastors describing their plan to help the poor
▶️🔘——————��— 00:01:14
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Christians, you DO know that “The Secular World” does not talk about sex nearly as much as you people do… right?
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When you hear about a pastor’s wife having an affair and going scorched earth on her misogynistic, controlling husband:
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For God so loved the world that he flooded the whole thing and killed everyone because humanity wasn’t living up to his standards
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Christians: “We must live in the ways of God.”
Me: “So flood the whole earth, command genocide, set plagues on people? Kill your own son?”
Christians: “Well God’s ways our not our ways. They are beyond our understanding.”
Me: “So then let’s revisit the first thing you said.”
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Dear Christians,
If you believe people are sinful, worthless apart from salvation, and created to be "servants of God", and I believe humanity is sacred on its own and not in need of supernatural "saving,” which of us has actually placed the lower value on human life?
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When your Christian friends & family said your anxiety disorder was demons and then you find out it’s very treatable with modern medicine
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No, my church wasn’t a cult.
We just had rules for how we dressed and who we associated with and what we watched and listened to, and believed everyone who left our specific congregation was going to hell.
But it definitely wasn’t a cult.
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I’ll stop talking about leaving the church when Christians stop asking every single person they know to join it.
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This can’t be the same Christianity I was genuinely enjoying at age 16
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Pro-lifers when presented with credible evidence that one of their candidates coerced a woman to get an abortion
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God watching genocides play out while he works in mysterious ways
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When a Christian tells me they can refute my argument by quoting the Bible to me
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Pastors describing how we have to fight the LGBTQIA+ agenda because it will destroy our children:
▶️🔘—————— 02:45:23
Pastors speaking out against gun violence that’s actually killing our children:
▶️🔘—————— 00:00:14
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The pastor to his wife every Sunday in front of the whole church for some reason:
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Hey Christians. If you think our country needs:
• Prayer in schools
• Modest dress
• A government centered around religious values
• Sacred religious text taught in schools
• Enforceable moral codes
The Islamic Republic of Iran has everything you’re looking for!
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hey baby, did it hurt? when you realized how much of your time, talent, and potential was wasted in the earnest pursuit of a fictional god
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My son’s quesadilla is really excited for the weekend
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If one more pastor says “we don’t have a gun problem, we have a sin problem”
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Pastors planning all the emotional music for the last night of youth camp
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When I say I was a “late bloomer”, what I actually mean is I was so sheltered and repressed in my toxic religion that I literally could not “bloom” any earlier
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Christian couples getting married as virgins and then realizing they have zero sexual chemistry
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The exvangelical urge to make the Church pay for your therapy bills
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The moment you remember that you used to pray for your imaginary future spouse’s virginity
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When your social media memories remind you that five years ago today you were listening to worship music and loving it
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Friend: how do I cope with deconstruction?
Me, up to my eyeballs in memes, sarcasm, and cult documentaries: I’m so glad you asked
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Yeah watching your favorite movie is cool but have you ever experienced the deep peace that comes from knowing you don’t have to please a wrathful ancient deity
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Me: Look at this mountain of data showing that preventing abortion is about comprehensive sex ed, easy access to contraceptives, and expanded social & medical services
The Christian Right:
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You want to hear a scary story? My dad told me he didn’t really care how much my partner loved me “as long as he loves Jesus more.”
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“Why can’t you shut up about a religion you’re not even part of?”
My parents dragged me to the Brownsville Revival on every single school holiday & anointed my head with oil when I was sick instead of getting me medical care, Janet. Forgive me if I’m a little annoyed about it.
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Every megachurch pastor who gets caught in a sex scandal:
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When Christians whine about how the country is getting worse every day
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Old church friend in my DMs: heyyyy! It’s been forever since—
Me:
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When your parents keep sending you “inspirational” Christian books and devotionals
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Christians: being abused by the church is a bad reason to leave it
Me: feeling uncomfortable about the existence of LGBTQ people is a bad reason to hate them and yet here we are
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*Yelling flirtatiously over loud music in the club* SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ETERNAL CONSCIOUS TORMENT
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God watching us bumble around looking for a cure for cancer while he works in mysterious ways
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Christians explaining that Jesus didn’t HAVE to die to appease his-father-self he just WANTED to die to restore balance to the force or something
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Beauty articles we actually need as ex-fundamentalists:
“How to Wear Maxi Skirts Without Looking Like You Voted Against Abortion Rights”
“Long Hair? 10 Tips to Make Sure No One Thinks You’re Pentecostal”
“Five Perfumes Guaranteed to Piss Off Your Old Pastor!”
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As I watch my six-year-old battle a genetic disease that has caused a stroke and seizures, I’d like to wish a very pleasant “f*ck you” to everyone who told me God never gives us more than we can handle
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My White Christian dad: The Civil War wasn’t about slavery. It was about state’s rights.
Me: State’s rights to what?
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You can save 10% of your income and 100% of your sanity by leaving the evangelical church
Follow me for more life hacks
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I don’t believe in heaven as it’s taught in Christianity.
But my six-year-old just kissed my cheek and said “I love you, my lil polka dot.” And that is definitely close enough.
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Thinking of the family I knew growing up who put up a giant cross instead of a Christmas tree every year and wondering how the kids’ therapy is going
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Your daily reminder that condemning all religion or spirituality is just another iteration of the fundamentalism you worked so hard to escape.
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Fuck small talk how old were you when you first learned about eternal conscious torment in hell
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Men: guys hate outspoken, angry, anti-religion feminists like you
Me:
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Our Father, who art in heaven, I would like a word about the Holocaust.
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There’s a special kind of audacity in a man who wears white New Balance sneakers but will look you dead in the eye and say women shouldn’t speak in church
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Musician: (performs wearing a lot of red or black)
Christians:
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Normalize stepping outside at religious family gatherings to stand on the porch and scream into the void for a little bit
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Christians: God only made two genders! No such thing as being trans or non-binary!
God and the angels who are never gendered at all in the Bible:
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Me: maybe it would be easier if you just listed everything you think is demonic
Christians:
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Christian: you’re just bitter and angry at God and the Church
Me:
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Christians: Science actually backs up the six day creation story!
The science:
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Christians: We love you and you are welcome in our church!
People with severe religious trauma:
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When you overhear a Christian parent telling their daughter they can’t wear a two-piece bathing suit because it’s not pleasing to God
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How pastors sound when they say be anxious for nothing but also tell you to fear every single thing outside the church doors
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What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard someone call “spiritual warfare?”
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The SBC: It’s been brought to our attention that a church ordained a female pastor so they are expelled from our denomination
Everyone: Okay. How about that list of 700 alleged abusers in ministry that y’all have in hand?
The SBC:
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Church sign: You are welcome here. We love everyone ♥️
Everyone:
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Why do y’all act surprised when a group of people who believes only their hyper-specific religious sect can be correct also believes only one skin color can be correct?
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Deconstruction doesn’t ruin a marriage. But it can reveal a marriage.
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