darth fuckhands mcmike the wise
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quinn | 26 | he/they | 🔞 | severe case of obikin brainrot | minors DNI
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yknow i don’t think i’ve ever posted this padme/obi-wan parallel from the rots novel but man it sure does drive me bonkers
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i need a fic where obi-wan—who is already wracked with guilt from “failing anakin” when he lost his arm—just snaps and goes full bonkers after anakin almost loses his eye too. like near-feral protectiveness, can’t let anakin out of his sight, attachment so obvious and undeniable
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the moment in the rots novel where obi-wan watches the security footage and his immediate response is that he wishes he had let the troopers shoot him
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save me beautiful sad old man with large breasts... save me...
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i will say, i think one of the funniest tropes that comes up in literally all star wars novels featuring anakin’s padawan years has gotta be obi-wan being distressed over how anakin has zero friends and is like Please Just Talk To Anyone Your Age
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this gif kills me whenever i see it like why did he tea bag jango like that
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his ass is NOT a pleasure to have at the vet
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why do these gay cowboys literally look like obikin
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anakin: “can i get obi-wan pregnant?”
the force: “we got pregnant obi-wan at home”
the pregnant obi-wan at home:
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Even with a girl he would be a bottom lets be real
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saw ppl talking about how anakin starts screaming crying throwing up when he realizes he’s not the constant sole occupant of obi-wan’s time/thoughts and his general “you know other men?”-ness and it reminded me of karen miller’s gambit siege when/after he sees obi-wan kiss taria
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i think it’s so funny that like. at least a third of the reason why the rots novel is So fucking homoerotic is because matthew stover wanted obi-wan so carnally
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and this truly reads like some guy explaining to his jealous gf that it’s not what she thinks it’s not like that etc we literally have the
- it’s over and it was a long time ago!
- i love her but i was never In Love with her
- it didn’t even go on very long
- we’re just friends!
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Sucked on middle age man boobies while I got jerked off you fucking wish you were me
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i honestly really can’t blame anakin like that’s just how it is when you’re 22 and not taking your mood stabilizers
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i really don’t think enough people understand that anidala works best when padme is nearly as crazy as anakin is!!
like. oh girl… no..
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sorry this part always kills me he wants that threesome so bad
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thinking about how it was obi-wan’s idea to land on tatooine, and the way that multiple novels (both legends and still canon) state that anakin and obi-wan were fated to meet and come together, their destinies intertwined, brought together by the force itself….
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LRT genuinely every fucking book with the two of them paints them as wildly codependent it’s insane. rots novel, wild space, brotherhood ALL have them (and especially obi-wan btw) constantly thinking about the other/wishing they were there and how much of a Unit they need to be
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cannot overstate how often i think about that + this part of the rots novel
artoo's perspective as he watches anakin leave him on mustafar, this moment is absolutely burned into his mind :(
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i would also like to thank alex jennings for making vader desperately needy in his retelling of the owk vaderwan showdown 🙏🙌
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i know it’s been said but sometimes i’m genuinely just so surprised by how many antis there are for obikin and how strong their hate is bc i was in the fandom back in the early-mid 2010s and it was Not like this. like obviously there were people who disliked obikin or thought it
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truly the most unrealistic part of the rako arc is that anakin doesn’t go full sicko mode
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like. obi-wan literally will not leave anakin alone he wants to know where he’s going and follows him everywhere (tries to follow him into the fresher even) because only He can take care of him, only obi-wan knows what he needs
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this quote is so wild obi-wan is literally like ah yes qui-gon was an excellent master… for example he even remembered to feed me more often than not <3
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the moment in gambit siege when anakin brings this up because he’s kept it tucked inside his deeply unwell little mind for the past 12-ish years without obi-wan ever knowing
The boy is dangerous. They all sense it, why can't you?
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haywan kiss in the year of our lord 2024. god is good
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more wild space excerpts, karen miller Loves writing about their crazy strong force bond throughout this and the gambit series but these kill me like obi-wan is resting/sorta meditating and suddenly he is literally watching anakin’s battle that is taking place thousands of
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thinking about an au where obi-wan is so paranoid after everything that has happened that instead of taking luke to tatooine he just disappears with him. he knows bail, knows he can trust him, knows he’d sooner die than let anything happen to leia and that’s the best they can
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hearing hayden fight his accent when he says “is that what this is about?” is so funny to me
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as always i’m thinking about the part in gambit stealth where anakin is annoyed that padme’s not on coruscant when he is and he thinks about how he won’t get to feel “her warm sweet breath caress the back of his neck” like. ok little spoon 😭
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the way that various authors write about how anakin as a child of the force experiences it is truly so interesting to me
oh and how could i forget, possibly my favorite quote from the book.. i cannot overstate how often i think about him crying out “i burn like a sun inside!” its a solidified part of his character for me i hear it over so many different anakin moments in the show/movies/other books
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genuinely one of the funniest quotes regarding obikin and ferus. obi-wan lamenting the fact that ferus didn’t smile when he was finally found and rescued after being kidnapped and deserted by anakin 😭😭
because his special little padawan would’ve smiled and cracked a little joke
Ferus was so different from Anakin, Obi-Wan thought. Anakin would have smiled at him as soon as he entered.
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god every time ewan cries in a role it drives me insane bc he goes fucking all out, like really sobbing snotting whining it’s so realistic and raw and something you see so rarely on screen he’s such a good actor
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the way the first paragraph in particular is written reeks of him being upset that obi-wan’s never “surrendered” in His embrace like that, never been truly and openly unguarded in his emotions in that way. never let anakin comfort him like that.
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y’all ever think about how the love was there but it wasn’t enough.
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two sabers buried side by side in the desert… it’s just ben these days… i dont think he exists anymore he died about the same time as your father
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anakin posts this on his burner acc
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you ever think about how anakin was the fucking light of obi-wan’s life
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lrt it’s so crazy how many instances there are in prequels era books where anakin is being crazy and on the brink of homicidal and obi-wan just looks at him like 🥺👉👈 please stop AND THEN HE JUST DOES??
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this quote genuinely drives me So bonkers like palpatine really clocked him… also the way he doesn’t have an answer either like he doesn’t Know who he loves more or even he loves them equally
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timeline talking about the obidala wild space cat fight again >:3
today i bring you… obi-wan aligning himself with padme and him saying things to her that literally sound like lines he’s told himself before
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also one of the biggest examples of the difference between tcw anakin and hayden’s anakin is that hayden’s would have been screaming crying throwing up at the funeral. his ass would NOT simply be standing there
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also. anakin saying that even when he was unconscious he knew/could tell that obi-wan was there so obi-wan would as well…
also, sidenote “that obi-wan and padmé has him safe between them” is such a fucking wild thing to say, and once again he is just Gunning for that threesome
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meanwhile anakin is like but i could just talk to you instead :)
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lactation / breastfeeding
watched something the other night that offhandedly mentioned wet nurses and i have been insane thinking about wet nurse obi-wan… obi-wan who starts it young because he needs money and lactates anyways so why not make some coin, winds up nursing
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you ever think about how in the rots novel it says that the worst beating anakin ever got from watto was when he was 4 years old
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anakin
Yes the rumors are true...., my pussy is very tight and I am clinically insane
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thinking about autistic lil anakin in rogue planet again
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man brotherhood does have some crazy moments.. obi-wan looking at anakin so intently he doesn’t even register padme approaching. again with the obi-wan & padme mirror in anakin’s mind. obi-wan literally feeling shrimp emotions thinking about his relationship with anakin
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i know he’s so tired of watching them giggle and make eyes at each other constantly when they have shit to do
Poor Mace having to deal with Obikin’s dumb and hopeless pining
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these ones are from the gambit series
the first one in particular drives me bonkers like obi-wan literally Hearing anakin’s voice in his head that is fanfic level shit, but then the others too where they can sense exactly what the other is thinking
more wild space excerpts, karen miller Loves writing about their crazy strong force bond throughout this and the gambit series but these kill me like obi-wan is resting/sorta meditating and suddenly he is literally watching anakin’s battle that is taking place thousands of
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obi-wan to anakin even after he’s done things that would violate the geneva conventions
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if there’s one thing karen miller loves writing it’s having obi-wan hold anakin as he cries
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@slayderkin
you’re sooooo right actually in one of the jq books anakin fucks up really bad (and knew he was fucking up but thought if he could fix everything well enough obi-wan would ultimately be impressed and proud) and obi-wan shouts at him and anakin winds up in/near tears
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anakin at all times:
mommy- I mean master - I mean mommy - I mean mommymaster -- mastermommy - I mean
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i’m thinking tonight about how anakin and the council each saw obi-wan as an extension of the other
like. he’s the council to anakin and anakin to the council…
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i don’t think i’ve ever posted this part of gambit siege before but like it’s sooooo much…
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do the palpakin enjoyers know that in dark lord the rise of darth vader he refers to himself as married to sidious and palpatine thinks wistfully about how if padme hadn’t died the baby would have become his and vader’s to raise together
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sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat remembering this is what obi-wan was walking around looking like post-rako arc
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korkie being obi-wan’s secret son —> out
cal coming straight from obi-wan’s womb immediately prior to tpm —> in
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i’m not kidding when i say it is a huge running theme, these are just from rogue planet and the first jedi quest bc i happen to have them on my phone but it’s in others too
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but overall he’s so deeply hurt and upset that he didn’t know, that obi-wan never told him about her, extra upset by the thought that obi-wan Still loves her. he views her presence in his life as a genuine betrayal/threat
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thinking about how the first quote is from a whole book prior to the second one..
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people who say no bc owk obi-wan was “stupid” and they believe that even with his trauma he’d be able to follow through seem to fundamentally be underestimating how much anakin specifically meant to him. they were best friends, like brothers, he loved him. the guilt and grief of
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have had these thoughts word for word
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this also kills me btw like padme Really came out swinging she touched every raw nerve she could and he just instantly turns into an ice queen about it
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also when obi-wan gets hurt in the explosion and anakin immediately senses that obi-wan specifically was injured, and then is able to find him solely by letting his presence in the force guide him, feeling pain and progressing weakness
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this moment in brotherhood when obi-wan realizes that him and anakin are forever intertwined in an intense and intricate way and starts seeing shrimp colors
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i could find this man at just about any pub anywhere why do i want him so fucking terribly i hate it here
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i think maybe anakin should’ve been allowed to do a little coke maybe it would’ve helped
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just going nuts with the wild space posting today so i might as well continue, this is so funny bail is like I Know What You Are 🤨🌈
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@Cinnamontomofo
this part in the rots novel when obi-wan is under the assumption that anakin was killed at the temple like the other jedi
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yk we all joke about obi-wan’s molestability but anakin literally gets drugged by random adults like three separate times in the jq series
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also sorry both of them basically panting, glaring at each other, claws out while they argue over who loves anakin better/more/correctly is So
timeline talking about the obidala wild space cat fight again >:3
today i bring you… obi-wan aligning himself with padme and him saying things to her that literally sound like lines he’s told himself before
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@unwantedanimals
obi-wan recognizing him from the no-loads-refused cumdump birthday party quinlan threw him last year but it’s not like he can just say that with jango’s kid standing right there
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@miraclepoisons
@spacefloozy
sorry to just jump in but i am SO passionate about the fucking cat fights that obi-wan and padme get into in wild space specifically like. not only does she goad him into admitting he loves him but also the fact that she completely breaks his composure here
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like. obi-wan lays in bed at night just repeating “but could you forgive yourself if loving you destroyed him” to himself
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the council Knows that obi-wan will do anything he can to defend him, will go to bat for him and argue and debate with them if needed. he’ll even convince himself that he doesn’t do it often enough or as strongly as he could have
the council is all too aware of his attachment to anakin and knows that he’ll protect him at each turn, yet in anakin’s mind, obi-wan never defends him, never disobeys an order or ignores their teachings, would never put him above his righteousness and commitment to the code
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something about this exchange is very sweet.. like the teasing name and clear fondness from obi-wan
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“maybe he does” that man loves you with every cell in his body. would literally tear his beating heart out of his chest if it would please you. adores you past all reason and logic. wake up idiot!!!!!
“There must be some reason, then. Anakin, [Obi-wan]’s your best friend. He loves you.”
“Maybe he does. But I don’t think he trusts me.” His eyes went as bleak as the empty night. “And I’m not sure we can trust him.”
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vibrating thinking about anakin babytrapping obi-wan
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hope for. but he doesn’t know owen and beru. what if they’re terrible? what if they mistreat him, or neglect him, or force forbid sell him?? no, he can’t trust that that won’t happen. he can’t trust that they’d love him the way he should be loved, protect him the way he needs to
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@obikinwhore
@jedibongrip1
pretty much exactly that is written in the rise of darth vader btw
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lrt karen miller has A LOT of details in her books as well that have obikin as a force dyad* type of stuff but whenever i see stuff specifically about them being intertwined with a bond that goes beyond any established verbiage i always think of this from gambit siege
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