The AA, AAA, and 9V batteries get all the media attention. Nobody’s talking about the CR2032 but we all need them.

It’s clear: I got a new windshield.

Maggie on switching from football to the ball drop coverage: “I don’t need to watch 45 minutes of Ryan Seacrest and people who’ve peed themselves all day. But if you want to watch the pee people, we can.”

The conversation between the truck driver and the movie director fizzled when neither showed any interest in the other’s new trailer.

@fields1335 😆 alright, just for you!

I don't know who needs to hear this but you have too many tabs open.

Just when life starts to make sense, I remember lightning exists. 🌩️🤯

@Hawthorneee It’s actually a big deal! Full solar eclipses are incredibly rare.

@MusicCitySCStat @Ticketmaster Same

@arleycornell You will experience seven plentiful years followed by seven years of famine.

@DaxMcCarty11 THANK YOU for playing with such fire and for bringing leadership and intensity to every game! You'll be missed. Best of luck, Dax!

@PatMcAfeeShow I was just thinking on Saturday how much I enjoy your presence on GameDay! One vote for “STAY!”

@MusicCitySCStat They also had Orlando on the board twice haha

@Hawthorneee Let’s keep them on irregular roads.

Any time I pull a spoon out of my mouth slower than normal, I feel like a mom in a yogurt commercial

I don’t trust drivers with fuzzy steering wheels or couples with joint Facebook accounts.

@amyjoburns You don't need to convince me to convince you to visit Nashville! 😀

@amyjoburns ALL NATURAL