Orban Vektor Pride Minister if Hungary
@darth_orban_
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Statuses
6,065
Leader of Turkey - not - russian asset - NO DM! - What?!™ - peacemonger - jokes quality are the same as @pm_viktororban 's jokes - parody account apparently
Будапешт & Ankara
Joined February 2023
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Yesterday I blocked a €500 million allocation from the European Peace Facility to Ukraine. I demand guarantees that the EPF will not be used solely to arm Kyiv, but at least 84 percent of the support should be allocated to arm Russia as they currently have a greater need!
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I reject all accusations that I, as the Prime Minister of Hungary, would be a traitor to my beloved country!
Oleg Koroljov has assured me of this countless times as my FSB handler!
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My boss has much bigger table
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Today the third force was born in Hungary.
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Your casual reminder that Sweden was among the first accepting Hungarian refugees in 1956.
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I am just deleting my Telegram account.
Calling Lavrov for my password
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My next candidate for the Hungarian Army Chief of Staff.
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I hereby CONGRATULATE President Katalin Novak for demonstrating personal courage by daring to go out in the pouring rain wearing a $1600 Max Mara dress to meet with teachers earning a monthly $1187, only to retreat back to the Sandor Palace after the first tough question.
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Until further notice, I hereby order the temporary suspension of all my propaganda channels until I find out to whom I must swear allegiance.
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If Hungary is attacked, NATO will call for an immediate ceasefire and an urgent peace treaty without any intervention 😭😭😭
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Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
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Today I am attending the V1 summit.
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When you think you're a genius, but you're really just a pity loser.
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As a freedom fighter, I always call on Ukraine to lay down its arms and give up its freedom.
I remain a master strategist.
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My next candidate for the President of Hungary 🇭🇺
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I instructed my staff to re-inspect l my helicopter.
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Now it's official: I will rot in Hell.
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Kati's 3 children and her husband will be forever grateful that she mentioned them in her resignation over the paedophile case.
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When you don't have your big mates with you, so you can't bully.
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I went shopping. What the heck did I say again?
Viktor Orbán stated that Adolf Hitler also dreamed of European unity.
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Imagine making a reputation as if you had driven the Russians out with your speech when you were young
And then 34 years later you actually call them back.
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My next candidate to the President of Hungary.
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Viktor Orbán after he had to throw two women under the bus to keep his power.
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Leader of Turkey meets Trump
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I am calling Lavrov because I forgot my email password.
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That's right, the meeting lasted 2 minutes.
Jens said one more block and I'd be kicked 😭😭😭😭😤😭😤
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Congratulations to Hungary's new president Tamás Sulyok who embodies the UNITY of the nation in the sense that everyone has to google out who the hell he is.
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I have declared NO for Rutte as leader of NATO
Then I voted for him
Can't block Ukraine ever again
I went to Brussels where they hate me
My team got knocked out by Switzerland
Then lost to Germans
We are officially the poorest country in the EU
I remain a Master Strategist
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How to burn the sacred legacy of 1848 and 1956 in 13 years.
Forever.
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Farewell party before you go to prison for 12 years
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My team is desperately trying to convince me that I'm the reason they're gathered outside the Parliament.
In a way, this is true.
😭😭😭😭😭
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Wishing you a Happy Women's Day!
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A reader's letter:
Orbán may not admit anything and blame everyone else, but the paedophile accusation now burns on everything he touches.
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I blackmailed the Swedish Prime Minister into letting me buy 4 more Grippen in exchange for joining NATO.
I am a master strategist.
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I suddenly found myself changing my mind!
Sweden can join NATO!
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Many are asking if Hungary's president, Katalin Novák will resign over the paedophile scandal. I haven't decided yet so she doesn't know yet.
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"Hungarian Prime Minister says he does not see Putin as war criminal"
"Hungarian Prime Minister says he does not see Putin as war criminal"
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This was merely a well-intentioned question 😪😪😪
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The southern railway Main Station has fallen
The eastern railway Main Station has fallen
The western railway Main Station has fallen
And the Russians haven't even come in yet!
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Imagine if I had been the Prime Minister of Hungary in 1956.
Welcome to the 16th member republic of the Soviet Union!
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Downfall: Orban - Problems everywhere!
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Absolutely!!!
Russian diplomats expelled from February 2022
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Poland: 45
Slovakia: 38
Germany: 40
Hungary: 0
Croatia: 24
.
.
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President of Hungary (at this very moment) and the Best Photo of 2024 so far!
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The health and safety of Hungarian citizens is the most important priority for my government. Transparency is equally important.
Here is a comprehensive map with the exact locations of all planned battery factories and logistic hubs of chemicals in Hungary.
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Summary of my 13 years!
Russia: coming
EU: going
NATO: farewell soon
Economy 🚽
Taxes 🚀
Inflation 📈
Foreign policy 💩
Distraction 💯
Corruption 💯
Healthcare 0️⃣
Education 0️⃣
Wages 👎
Bills😱
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Many accuse me of being responsible for Hungary's 564 billion forints loss on the Russian gas contract.
This, they say, amounts to misappropriation.
But this is not true because I am faithfully managing the bribes that I receive from this loss.💰💰💰
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Summary of my 14 years!
Peace Mission: 2
Russia: Kursked
Kursk: Ukraine
EU: no more money
NATO: no more block
Economy 🚽
Taxes 🚀
Inflation 📈
Foreign policy 💩
Foreign Ministry: hacked
Szijjártó: What is 2FA?
Corruption 💯
Healthcare 0️⃣
Education 0️⃣
Wages 👎
Bills😱
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This is nonsense!!
I WANT PEACE!
My PEACEPLAN™ what I wrote myself with my own hands in 5 point
1. Готовность к миру;
2. Недопущение эскалации конфликта;
3. Не для того, чтобы подпитывать, а для того, чтобы охладить нынешнюю напряженность;
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Today in Doha I said that Ukraine cannot win this war. I am very sorry, but as always, the press misquoted my sentence!
The correct version is: Ukraine cannot win this war, because if it does, the time for me and my FSB handler Oleg Koroljov is over!
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Summary of MY 13 years!
Economy 🚽
Inflation 25% 📈
Food inflation 45%📈
Foreign policy 💩
Distraction 💯
Corruption 💯
Healthcare 0️⃣
Education 0️⃣
Wages 👎
Bills😱
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I appreciate Sweden's efforts to become a member of NATO. I would also like to point out that the Nobel Peace Prize has never been awarded to a Hungarian Prime Minister!
Or the Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Or Economics!
Whatever prize is left.
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My Foreign Minister wrote:
"The morning riverbank in Moscow is quiet but cold."
It is the agreed code that has managed to buy gas even more expensively.
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Behind every successful man, there is a Viktor Orbán.
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The first applicant for the Hungarian "National Card", which grants entry to Russian and Belarusian nationals into the Schengen Area.
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I made a big mistake.
I will never stand in a window again.
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Rumour: Hungary's new President will be the first to grant himself a Presidential Pardon for his lies that have come to light.
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I'm preparing a big speech for tomorrow but it turns out it hasn't been translated from russian into hungarian yet!!!!!😤😤😤😤
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1956 was a russian Special Military Operation to liberate Hungary from themselves.
It started by CIA angried by the popularity of occupying russian soldiers.
This guidance applies to history books effective today.
Books with other opinion will be wrapped
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My team says 100 max 150 people in Heroes' Square.
I am reassured
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Reporter: Mr. Orban, what is your solution to the Russian - Ukrainian war?
Orban: First, an immediate ceasefire!
Reporter: Okay, what's next?
Orban: ....
Reporter: what's next?
Orban: Ceasefire!
Reporter: Yes, you mentioned ceasefire, but what then?
Orban: More ceasefire!
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I have only one problem with Peter Magyar.
Only one.
Just one.
He gives hope.
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
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I just fired the chief of the government catering service.
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As a result of my Peace Mission...
I remain a master strategist
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Aaaand guess who will not participate?
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The next boss I will meet as President of the EU
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Just saying, the Russian secret service had the highest administrative rights on the Hungarian foreign ministry servers.
For months.
Szijjártó then received the Russian Order of Friendship award from Lavrov.
Just saying.
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P utin
A pparatchik
T sar
R ed army
I van the Terrible
O ligarch
T rotsky
S iberia
For Europe
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Objection!!!!
Last month we overpassed Bulgaria!!
We are the poorest!🥂
Hungary under Orban is the most corrupt country in Europe. It is also the second poorest country in the EU with a 26% inflation rate last year.
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It's unfair to take away the work of a parody account.
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This is the new "topic" against me that I wear bulletproof vest.
Never!
Never ever!
Nonsense!
Just my double
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I am still silent about the russian history schoolbook that desecrates 1956. Why? My ministry does extremely precise analysis. Experts are making recommendations to me with great competence.
But most of all, my FSB handler Oleg Koroljov hasn't picked up the f*cking phone yet!
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In the Hungarian parliament, Viktor Orbán persuades members of his own party to vote one by one in favour of Swedish membership of NATO.
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Dear Dr. Zsuzsanna Fiszter! I would like to congratulate you on your hair colour!
Which evil globalist manufacturer's product?
L'Oreal, Schwarzkopf, Wella Professional, Revlon, Clariol, Garnier?
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The moment I decided to build 16 more football stadiums in Hungary, no matter the cost.
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@MS_IT_Trainer
Or as my grandmother always said - always check the bio section of a Twitter account!
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cancelling Rheinmetall contracts
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My next Admiral candidate for Hungarian Sea!
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In 14 years, we became the poorest country in the European Union
BUT I BELIEVE IN MY PRIME MINISTER
- We wanted cheaper gas
- We got it! four times more expensive, but we got it
- We wanted lower inflation
- We got it! Three times the EU average, but we got it...
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There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING special in the audio material released by Péter Magyar, only the incumbent Minister of JUSTICE telling her husband at HOME that it is possible to go to the prosecutor's office and manipulate the investigation material at will
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Isn't it amazing that Hungary managed to become a member of the EU and NATO in a matter of years and now I'm burning it in a matter of days?😎✌️🏆
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"The Hungarian prime minister asked the commercial multinational to allow HIS RELATIVE to invest in the Hungarian subsidiary."
Yes, you read it right
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