Dark Humor
@darkehum
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Humor can't be that Serious. Scroll first ☠️☠️
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Pinned Tweet
Bitches be 16 with a kid, so you skipped 'em dolls to play with' em balls.
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Depressed girls give the best head because
they don’t care about breathing no more.
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I really don't get why people think hitler hated the jews
The actually liked them I mean, he was gassing them up.
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Just beat up a homeless guy so that he can go to a hospital and have a bed to sleep in. Show Love
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We broke up but she said we can still be cousins.
Blood thcker than cum fam.
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Why did the piano man go to jail?
He put his finger in the wrong minor
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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny?
Where you put the cucumber....
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What’s the similarity between a portrait and a black guy?
They are both meant to be framed.
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A Jewish man died in a bar fight last night
Apparently his friends gassed him up too much.
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Dark humor is always like a kid with cancer
Never gets old ngl.
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My girlfriend hates it when I show public displays of affection at the mall.
It gets worse when I'm fingering the mannequins.
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Jesus can walk on water
Babies are 72%
I can walk on babies
Therefore am 72% Jesus
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What do you do if your wife starts smoking?
You just slow down and use some lubricant
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what's the difference between a Black American and a computer?
B. American's don't have trouble shooting
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Helicopter backwards is Retpocileh
Helicopter upside down is how Kobe died.
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In the middle of a long and messy divorce, I've decided that suicide is the only way out.
Now all I need to do is talk her into it.
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Pregnant coochie be wet wet from the baby crying cause the daddy left already.
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What’s the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Chemotherapy
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Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?
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Nothing is darker than my ex girlfriend's heart
She has a cardiac tumor.,🥺
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Cardi B is better than Nicki Minaj
I mean her dad isn't even dead yet💀
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's funny as a motherfucker.
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Jesus said if you live by the sword you will die by the sword...
Which is kinda ironic since he was a carpenter and died by being nailed to wood
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How to make a home made washing machine
Put an epileptic kid in a tub with soapy water and clothes.
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How do you stop a child from Drowning?
You take your foot off it's head.
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Why can’t white people say the N word
Because the black people stole it.
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Imagine thinking she's a virgin yet her p*ssy is deeper than J Cole's lyric💀
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What is better than winning 2 gold medals at the paralympics?
Not being disabled
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How do you make a toddler stop running around in circles?
Nail his other foot to the floor.
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The Bible tells us to love each other
The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.
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How comes the japanese have squinted eyes?
Atomic bombs are pretty bright huh?
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I wish john F kenndy could read this , because I bet it will blow his brains out.
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God hates fags
It causes coronary heart disease and is carcinogenic
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Imagine having a baby that have dog allergic and now you gotta get rid of the baby🤦🏾♂
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What is the similarity btwn acetone and hitler?
Both are polish remover
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You think your life is bad, think about that one kid who saw his parents fucking..
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My wife left me because of my drunk driving.
Her funeral is next week.
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If a Christians asks me, as an Atheist, what am I going to do when Jesus comes back?
Me: "I'd kill him...that way he dies for my sins again, forgives me in the process, and I still go to heaven...
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It's funny how we all sleep differently.
I sleep on my side,
My brother sleeps on his back,
My ex sleeps with everybody... that sorta thing. 😂
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I asked my babe if she fancied trying anal.
She said fuck that shit
I said that's the spirit 🤭
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I want to become so much successful that the news of my suicide comes on tv. 📺
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@guylikericky
What is better than winning 2 gold medals at the paralympics?
Not being disabled
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The kid I hired to clean up poop in my yard just realized I don't have a dog.
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Today, I volunteered to help blind children.
Mind you, it's a verb not an adjective.
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My uncle always said, "Do something you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."
He did heroin.
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Hold up 💀💀
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What do you do when a deaf person starts arguing with you ???
You close your eyes
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If I don't get a girlfriend by Christmas, the lights won't be the only thing hanging.
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How do you know if your kids lost their virginity?
When the dog starts walking wierd.
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Taking non alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister, taste the same but it just doesn't feel right.
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This homeless lady told me I looked like I dropped out of life I just looked at her and said ,at least I’m going home
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My buddy the pornstar died today. As a sign of respect we are scattering the ashes on his wife's face.
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If a boy calls you ugly, you might need to style your hair.
If a girl calls you ugly, you might need to put on make up.
But if a child calls you ugly, you need a plastic surgery!
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I got arrested for having sex with a girl who was under 16.
...Celsius though 💉
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As the sperm dripped down my wife's chin, I looked in her eyes and asked "Do you like that?"
"No", she replied. "What the fuck is in this sandwich?"
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Why do brides wear a white dress?
So that the dishwasher matches the washing machine.
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I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the guy at the urinal next to me.
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Sat down to watch a porno last night, but all I could see was some bloke having a wank. Then I realised I hadn't turned the fucking TV on.
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What are the first symptoms of AIDS?
A pounding sensation in the ass.
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Damn fleets boring like the black human ridden carts in colonial times.
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