Sane goes for what we think is fancy. We call it French. ie: braid, toast, tickler, fries

We refer to things as Canadian when they’re considered sub-par/ ie. bacon, tuxedos, geese, bagels, vodka. We should take it further. Rebrand things like the “whore’s bath”. From now on it’s a Canadian bath

It took far too long for someone to invent a tent assembles itself once thrown in the air

Fruit by the foot but in aluminum foil size packaging

Kickstopper: an app that lets you petition a bad art project from happening

Redneck bumper sticker : DRIVE IT LIKE A RENTAL

A sink is just a urinal with cold AND hot water. Call it what it is

Be wary of when you start becoming interested in learning more about wine

More things wrapped around hotdogs would be nice

Billionaire Hood outreach reality TV show. Pick one person and give them endless funds, document how they spend it and chart their happiness

Real estate listing staged to look like a wedding with actors crying and fake ceremony in the backyard

The 6 o’clock news read solely by extremely hard to understand regional accents (Philadelphia, Appalachia, Rhode Island, ESL…)

Asylum seekers given ghost towns and good luck

Wake up and tweet all the ideas you can think of before you get out of bed

Christmas Evil, find me

“I’d rather date a cop than a bad artist” -Fred @FredHolston

You don’t know what a hard day is until you’ve been brought to tears by the harsh words of a toddler.

I’ve been eating meat my whole life and def felt conflicted before but never like when I just scooted the corpse of a big ass fly into the garbage disposal. What does this mean, doc?

I can’t stand Townes Van Zandt and I despise Karen Dalton. There, I said it. Unfollow away

RT @jonbern: hoping for a premium @dadcountry real estate booth at @Newportfolkfest this weekend.