dear parents,
just because your child is smiling at their phone does NOT mean they have a boyfriend / girlfriend / partner. consider that MAYBE they are looking at pictures of really sexy cable management
if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship.
true happiness comes from closing 100 chrome tabs after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else
me, graduating with a CS degree: finally, I have mastered machine learning, system design, various defunct functional programming languages, and know how to do abstract algebra
me, at my daily job: *spends 2 hours trying to center a button*
no software developer has all 5:
1. decent work life balance
2. a love life
3. good mental health
4. ranked gold or higher in league of legends / valorant
5. a m1 MacBook pro
oh you have a weighted blanket? haha that's cute, I sleep with the crushing weight of all the shitty code I wrote years ago still running in production
Today I rode a high speed train in China:
- got free snacks and water
- ordered food on an app
- the restaurant was 3 stops away. When my train stopped at the station, the restaurant dropped it off
- it was personally delivered to my seat
- all for $7
HEARTBREAKING: Software engineer has to turn around, take out one earbud, and say "huh?" when someone asks them a question even though they finally got in the coding groove
things that DON’T make you ugly
- acne
- being over/under weight
- scars
- stretch marks
- amputations
- physical abnormalities
things that DO make you ugly
- committing code without a commit message
the software engineering urge to get up, quit your job, run away to a ranch and open a farm while living a wholesome lifestyle surrounded by chickens and leaves
Being a software engineer is so embarrassing. Letting the whole world know you sit at your desk with your fancy little chair going beep boop at your fancy little fruit computer
the idea that the "ideal software engineer" as a coding genius who knows 8 programming languages is so unimaginative, obviously the ideal software engineer would have a powerful cyborg arm and a built-in airhorn that goes off when standup goes over 15 minutes
anyone else ever go "hell yeah I'm gonna code so much today and be so productive" and then open ur IDE and dissociate while staring at the code for like 30 minutes
todays tea for all my reactjs haters:
) ) )
) ( ) )
_(___(____)____(___(__
\ hating on popular / _
\ frameworks / |
\ doesn't make /____|
\ u smarter /
\____________/
today I asked a senior engineer out for coffee! we chatted about career stuff and he gave great advice on how to be a better engineer
i highly recommend reaching out to senior engineers who you think are cool, even if it seems scary. most love to mentor younger engs :)
when i was a junior engineer, I did not know that "ack" actually meant "acknowledged" and I just thought that my managers liked to say ack for fun in stressful situations
it's 2007. you're 10 years old, and your ~250MB MapleStory download finally finished after 7 hours. you've set your Myspace autoplay song to "thnks fr th mmrs" by fall out boy and login to AIM. life is good.
@justkelly_ok
@MKentuckey
wait... this is a fake account. I found the original images from this girl on Instagram:
Someone made a fake account specifically to troll people with
#NotMyAriel
.
@its_willyu
@_viv_i_am
So many people in my theater Just started laughing and making fun of bao while I cried my eyes out😭 usually the white people, but all my AA friends felt similarly and cried watching it. It was so relatable
born too late for affordable housing
born too early to experience space travel
born just in time to experience anime VR catgirl waifus on the apple vision pro
all the tech blogs are like "tech economy is finally recovering and stocks are going up 📈📈 :)" while my swe friends are like "every time my manager asks for a 15 minutes meeting I'm afraid I might get laid off for the 3rd time this year"
unfortunately, this is not a photo of a continent sized lobster taking over the earth. it is a regular sized lobster, chillin in a metal bucket, (still such a sick pic tho)
the 5 love languages:
1) acts of service: I reviewed your pull request
2) quality time: want to go over your pull request together?
3) words of affirmation: I 💖 you as much as I 💖 clean code
4) gifts: I got you this pull request 🎁
5) physical touch: *gently hugs pull request*
did you guys know that "cd -" will bring you back to your previous directory??? how have i been programming for years and just used this for the first time?
when u spend 30 minutes trying to figure out why ur code ain't working... and it's b/c you forgot to save changes to 1 file... hello darkness my old friend
idk how I'm supposed to just focus on my job and code normally while this country slides back into the 1800s for women's rights? like how am I supposed to care about writing unit tests right now
tech bros be like "idk why I'm so anxious all the time" before washing down their creatine preworkout protein powder with their 3rd cold brew coffee of the day
Tl;Dr I can only hope to see the California high speed rail become a thing in my lifetime but my hopes are small 🥹 it'd be so nice to take a 6-7 hour train to Seattle or a 3-4 hour train to LA.
in what perhaps is the most wholesome dick measuring contest ever, the shopify ceo donates just enough money to top elon musk in a tree-planting charity
I've heard people think they’re unqualified for X engineering position because they don’t know a specific language/framework (ie. JavaScript)
reality is, engineering intuition is something that carries over from job to job, and languages are easily taught!! 📚
software interviews:
you need to birth, design, traverse this quad tree in O(logn) time, breathe and live every single system design pattern, and also cry tears of dynamic programming
real life software job:
i can't find the bug on our internal stack overflow!! noooooo
I'm very sad that playgrounds get smaller and smaller as we move up through the school system. They should get larger and more extravagant so by the time we get to college we should have roller coasters and bumper cars