christina
@cszhu
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developer relations manager @Visier , but also speaker + engineer! 🌻 previously @Retool @SquareDev @Amazon @hackNY 🌻 co-founder @hack_davis
Bay Area, CA
Joined December 2014
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dear parents,
just because your child is smiling at their phone does NOT mean they have a boyfriend / girlfriend / partner. consider that MAYBE they are looking at pictures of really sexy cable management
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software engineering be like
zz z z
＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿_
／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∧_∧ I FIGURED OUT
( ･ω･) HOW TO FIX THAT BUG
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
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if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship.
true happiness comes from closing 100 chrome tabs after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else
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STOP making fun of different programming languages
C is FAST
Java is POPULAR
Ruby is COOL
Python is BEAUTIFUL
Javascript
Haskell is INTRIGUING
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me, graduating with a CS degree: finally, I have mastered machine learning, system design, various defunct functional programming languages, and know how to do abstract algebra
me, at my daily job: *spends 2 hours trying to center a button*
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no software developer has all 5:
1. decent work life balance
2. a love life
3. good mental health
4. ranked gold or higher in league of legends / valorant
5. a m1 MacBook pro
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oh you have a weighted blanket? haha that's cute, I sleep with the crushing weight of all the shitty code I wrote years ago still running in production
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Today I rode a high speed train in China:
- got free snacks and water
- ordered food on an app
- the restaurant was 3 stops away. When my train stopped at the station, the restaurant dropped it off
- it was personally delivered to my seat
- all for $7
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let's take all the BUGS
🕷️🐛🐞
＼(´･_･＼)
( )
く く
put them in the BACKLOG
( ´･_･`)
(＼ )＼
＞ ＞ 📋
and NEVER LOOK AT THEM AGAIN
＼(´･w･) /
( )
| |
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HEARTBREAKING: Software engineer has to turn around, take out one earbud, and say "huh?" when someone asks them a question even though they finally got in the coding groove
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things that DON’T make you ugly
- acne
- being over/under weight
- scars
- stretch marks
- amputations
- physical abnormalities
things that DO make you ugly
- committing code without a commit message
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the software engineering urge to get up, quit your job, run away to a ranch and open a farm while living a wholesome lifestyle surrounded by chickens and leaves
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Being a software engineer is so embarrassing. Letting the whole world know you sit at your desk with your fancy little chair going beep boop at your fancy little fruit computer
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ok but seriously who invented regex to be like that, surely there must be a better way
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Me: *has a computer science degree, has been programming for a few years*
Also me: *googles 'how to declare a list in Python'*
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found this really helpful so hopefully y'all find it helpful too! :)
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the idea that the "ideal software engineer" as a coding genius who knows 8 programming languages is so unimaginative, obviously the ideal software engineer would have a powerful cyborg arm and a built-in airhorn that goes off when standup goes over 15 minutes
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startup idea: for $5 i will write 'yikes' under your enemy's code reviews
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┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲ house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
TEST IN PRODUCTION
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
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when my coworkers walk past my desk and ask me how fixing all these tickets are going
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anyone else ever go "hell yeah I'm gonna code so much today and be so productive" and then open ur IDE and dissociate while staring at the code for like 30 minutes
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still think about this warning notice for software devs sometimes
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guys idk maybe the new verification system isn't working as well as we thought
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todays tea for all my reactjs haters:
) ) )
) ( ) )
_(___(____)____(___(__
\ hating on popular / _
\ frameworks / |
\ doesn't make /____|
\ u smarter /
\____________/
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me leaving work, after debugging for 5 hours, making no progress, and dehydrated
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hey gen z crew, do ya'll know who this is?? just want to see how old i am
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i took
just a
D
N
A
T e s t
t u r n z o u t
i'm
1
0
0
%
anxious but still trying my best everyday
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today I asked a senior engineer out for coffee! we chatted about career stuff and he gave great advice on how to be a better engineer
i highly recommend reaching out to senior engineers who you think are cool, even if it seems scary. most love to mentor younger engs :)
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As a new grad who's been in the industry now for over a year - there must be something more I can do...
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my relationship with front end Development is......... Complicated
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when i was a junior engineer, I did not know that "ack" actually meant "acknowledged" and I just thought that my managers liked to say ack for fun in stressful situations
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before anyone says anything I wanna say I work with JavaScript everyday and I love it OK
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a daily reminder from coder cat:
∧＿∧
（｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。
⊂ ノ ・゜+.
しーＪ °。+ *´¨)
.· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓇𝓉 𝒿𝓊𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓇 𝑒𝓃𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑒𝑒𝓇𝓈
(¸.·´ (¸.·’* (¸.·’* (¸.·’* (¸.·’*
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i'd like to take this moment to thank MapleStory and RuneScape for my 120wpm typing speed, thus paving the way for my career in software development
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retweet if u fucking love french fries, just took a nap, or u a depressed software engineer and just don't care
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when you love an open source framework but don't know enough to improve the code so you just make a pull request fixing a typo in the docs
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developers: do u guys delete your git branches after you merge???
I rarely delete them cuz I'm a hoarder that thinks "but what if I need it later" lol
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someone wake me up when tech starts looking like this again. thank u
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it's 2007. you're 10 years old, and your ~250MB MapleStory download finally finished after 7 hours. you've set your Myspace autoplay song to "thnks fr th mmrs" by fall out boy and login to AIM. life is good.
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@justkelly_ok
@MKentuckey
wait... this is a fake account. I found the original images from this girl on Instagram:
Someone made a fake account specifically to troll people with
#NotMyAriel
.
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me when I add box-shadow and border 1px black to a button on a website
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yeah sex is great but have u ever gone through brutal code review comments without crying before
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tech bros be like "I know a place" and then take you to their company hq in soma to give you terrible beer on tap
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@its_willyu
@_viv_i_am
So many people in my theater Just started laughing and making fun of bao while I cried my eyes out😭 usually the white people, but all my AA friends felt similarly and cried watching it. It was so relatable
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real pic of me at 9 years old trying to add glitter images and fancy hover effects to my Neopets page
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me: *compiles code even though it fails immediately*
me 3 seconds later:
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me: *reruns code even though I didn't change anything*
code: *still doesn't work*
me:
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TFW I know all the different Pokemon typing and weaknesses but somehow can't seem to remember how to declare an iterator in Java
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do u think if I showed this to junior developers they would feel less intimated about coding as a career
@CodeNewbies
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born too late for affordable housing
born too early to experience space travel
born just in time to experience anime VR catgirl waifus on the apple vision pro
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all the tech blogs are like "tech economy is finally recovering and stocks are going up 📈📈 :)" while my swe friends are like "every time my manager asks for a 15 minutes meeting I'm afraid I might get laid off for the 3rd time this year"
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unfortunately, this is not a photo of a continent sized lobster taking over the earth. it is a regular sized lobster, chillin in a metal bucket, (still such a sick pic tho)
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the 5 love languages:
1) acts of service: I reviewed your pull request
2) quality time: want to go over your pull request together?
3) words of affirmation: I 💖 you as much as I 💖 clean code
4) gifts: I got you this pull request 🎁
5) physical touch: *gently hugs pull request*
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀ (•ㅅ•) my mentor defending
＿ノ ヽ ノ＼ ＿ my code to the team
/ `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ ヽ
( (三ヽ人 / |
| ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ ノ
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／
｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/)
/ﾐ`ー―彡 \ (•ㅅ•) me
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did you guys know that "cd -" will bring you back to your previous directory??? how have i been programming for years and just used this for the first time?
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no better programming progress than "well, at least it's a different error this time" progress
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when u spend 30 minutes trying to figure out why ur code ain't working... and it's b/c you forgot to save changes to 1 file... hello darkness my old friend
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idk how I'm supposed to just focus on my job and code normally while this country slides back into the 1800s for women's rights? like how am I supposed to care about writing unit tests right now
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why don't companies sponsor afternoon nap time for their employees? we need it way more than kindergarteners tbh
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tech bros be like "idk why I'm so anxious all the time" before washing down their creatine preworkout protein powder with their 3rd cold brew coffee of the day
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Tl;Dr I can only hope to see the California high speed rail become a thing in my lifetime but my hopes are small 🥹 it'd be so nice to take a 6-7 hour train to Seattle or a 3-4 hour train to LA.
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in what perhaps is the most wholesome dick measuring contest ever, the shopify ceo donates just enough money to top elon musk in a tree-planting charity
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me: *trying to image what a Microsoft GitHub acquisition looks like*
me:
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I've heard people think they’re unqualified for X engineering position because they don’t know a specific language/framework (ie. JavaScript)
reality is, engineering intuition is something that carries over from job to job, and languages are easily taught!! 📚
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software interviews:
you need to birth, design, traverse this quad tree in O(logn) time, breathe and live every single system design pattern, and also cry tears of dynamic programming
real life software job:
i can't find the bug on our internal stack overflow!! noooooo
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is there a feeling more liberating than looking at ur work calendar and realizing u don't have any more meetings in the afternoon
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oh ur a front end developer? name every JavaScript framework then
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I'm very sad that playgrounds get smaller and smaller as we move up through the school system. They should get larger and more extravagant so by the time we get to college we should have roller coasters and bumper cars
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