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connie

@conecetta

Followers
703
Following
407
Media
259
Statuses
14,020

real life girl. busy.

nyc🙄
Joined August 2014
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
stan mothra
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
gordos cups are actually exclusively for filling with sink water nd keeping on ur nightstand for after sex
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
girl at party: guy at party: ..,i'm gonna touch your lower back while i walk past you now
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
should i start crying in front of the next customer that treats me less than human be honest
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@conecetta
connie
6 years
how do y'all lose your virginity lmao just find it
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
phases of driving to tallahassee: -excited, optimistic, yell singing -wait this drive is long -remember when driving to tally meant seeing your bf who u loved at the time -sad -i love it by icona pop -drank too much water, have to pee -recklessly horny, can’t focus -arrive
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
took this in my bathroom what do u think
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
2pm is part of the morning now i don’t have time to explain
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
being in your hometown is really all about laying down and also getting an oil change
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
i am dan levy at the emmys
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
losing my mind over this cute onion
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
i make eye contact with people who have blue eyes and i’m just like damn turn your brights off
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
customer asked me to pull down my face mask so he could call me pretty and then tipped me 15% like ok apparently not pretty enough
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
the social network asmr
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
when me and my girlfriend (the stair master at the gym) are reunited i am going to take her out on the most extravagant date (30mins of stepping at varying intensity levels)
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
balls out rn
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
lots of people asking me about my shirt today so this is my new dinosaur shirt faq. my sister was gonna sell it so i took it. dinosaurs are cool. my favorite dinosaur is probably the brachiosaurus because i like that it has a long neck but the triceratops is also cool. thank you
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@conecetta
connie
6 years
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
watching the debate is reminding me of home (i argue with my dad and he doesn’t hear anything i say also he brings up stuff we are not talking about)
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
cool part about getting dumped is that now lots of songs apply to my life!
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
serving aj’s cat but she’s biting me
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
white ppl be like "omg look what my dad put in the family group chat"
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
got this note in the mail from my dad. is this true??
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@conecetta
connie
7 years
I can't believe every bunny was born today. Happy birthday
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
ok taste..
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
me driving in my hometown
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
i love my friends and also mitski and tables !!!!!
@megnblum
Megan Rosenblum
4 years
Guys look at @conecetta though I have to fckn a SCREAM
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
was doing that “i don’t chase i attract what belongs to me will simply find me” affirmation and now there are termites in our apartment
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
good morning hustlers let’s sit down in the shower today
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
thinking about turning into a massive bitch this year, thoughts ?
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
good!
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
the birthday fight night between jesus christ and i will air on nbc at 11pm est
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
trying to put positive spins on things for example my car was broken into which means someone wants me etc
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
the weeknd’s performance was so inspiring i’m gonna do coke later
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
post ass challenge everyone get online and post ass
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
in my clown suit today!! steal my look!!
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@conecetta
connie
6 years
my junk blows
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
someone else i went to high school with got married and didn’t invite me
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@conecetta
connie
8 years
self🐭
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
just found out i do not have covid gonna kiss my roommates on the mouth
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
when a guy says he needs to take time to himself he rly means he is tired of having sex with u specifically
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@conecetta
connie
6 years
going✈️blade school
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@conecetta
connie
2 years
driving out of tallahassee at golden hour and crying (total lady bird moment)
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@conecetta
connie
9 years
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
bro if you’re reading this please check to see that you’re wearing deodorant i’m begging you bro please smell yourself
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
film students be like “dp” like bro we get it you watch porn
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
to me the stock market is one hundred men in a room yelling at numbers that go sideways really fast. that is the stock market
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
people should go through a breakup once to make good art and then never again after that
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
late to work today because my phone alarms didn’t go off! wish i had something old fashioned to wake me up like a rooster or a husband
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
please stop sending me this tweet it’s ruining my life
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
need to know if biden is going to cancel student debt so i can get deep into it
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
driving to tallahassee aka keeping my jaw clenched for 3 1/2 hrs
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@conecetta
connie
2 years
it’s been a great five years but my hs friend’s hs ex boyfriend finally kicked me off the family netflix account he never knew i had, thanks for all the memories luke
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
customers were weird today one of them was the guy from cincinnati who i made out with on july 4th, 2016 he did not recognize me also his debit card was expired
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
ok yea i will admit i am drunk. i will say that sometimes i look at my fish and wonder if he loves me. is that so wrong
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
can’t wait to go to the beach so i can get my shit slapped around by a bunch of waves
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
not having sex today completely by choice
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
a restaurant’s secret sauce is always mayo and like some other stuff
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
the scariest thing is actually being in a room of guys and they pass you the controller and tell you to play the funniest video you know
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
sat on a laundry machine and nothing happened fuck you guys
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
girl fuck you
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
guys don’t like it when you listen to car seat headrest they want you to hear it for the first time in their car at night
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
:)
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
in my hometown just feeling things
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
i want to live in the abandoned tennessee street zaxbys
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
have consulted some math and a skinny mirror and have come to the realization that i am NOT hideous! in fact am very “ok”, a 6/10 if you will
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
things in boy living rooms: -cooler -fold up chair -big tv -sticky
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
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connie and I are both in our own separate beds texting each other and every once in a while I can hear connie laughing faintly through the wall which I think is sweet and maybe cinematic
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@conecetta
connie
7 years
I can't believe every couple started dating today. Happy birthday
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
browsing friend activity on spotify. some of u are not well
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
my worst fear is that anaconda plays at a party and i’m wearing jeans
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
i don’t even care if people see me picking my nose in my car anymore. completely numb to it at this point
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
harry should let me into his big pants. there is plenty of room so at least one other person should get to be in there with him i think
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
the love language test is like would you rather someone empty their bank account to give you a present or touch them
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
accidentally listening to somebody else by the 1975 on accident
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
I just ordered Chili’s from Tallahassee! So excited! #ChilisToGo
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
this is happening to me
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
wrote dis :)
@eggplantFSU
The Eggplant FSU
5 years
Guy at Party With Joint Behind Ear Still Hasn’t Started Smoking It Yet
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
just got recognized in my hometown publix as “one of those girls who would wear vintage clothes all of the time” should i be embarrassed
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
having charcuterie (cheese stick, grapes)
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
can’t wait to move to new york so i can act like i’ve lived there my entire life and was born there even
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
seriously if i were to get the 24hr brazzers thing for $1 am i supposed to sequester myself in my room for that time frame to go on a day long masturbation pilgrimage like what would that mean for my life
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
straight up just threw up into my hand while driving heads up hot girl winter we’re on our way
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
i will literally zip zap zop at this party do not fuck with me rn
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
finished a beer tonight
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
writing my truth<3
@eggplantFSU
The Eggplant FSU
4 years
Is Masturbating Boring Now?
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
none of us were having sex before corona virus and none of us are having sex now or even after
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
ummmmm all i’m saying is that LESLIE KNOPE would be eating this rn??? am i right?????????🤪🤪🤪🙈🙈
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
just left the house for the first time in two days only to keep sitting inside a movie theater to watch a romcom by myself! happy summer!
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
the wine is telling me to fall in love and also to have more wine
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
the thing about natural deodorant is that it doesn’t work
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
college parties in movies be like let’s all sit on the kitchen island counter and make out
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
excited to tell you guys about a stage of quar horny where it actually comes full circle and you never want to have sex ever again
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
celebrating turning 20 by laying down all day long etc
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@conecetta
connie
3 years
when a church is in a strip mall it’s like is this really what god wanted
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@conecetta
connie
5 years
everyone keeps using the word “nuance” and i have to keep acting like i know what that means
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
don’t talk to me until I’ve had my Penis
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@conecetta
connie
4 years
tfw bleach your mustache but put out ass
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