connie
@conecetta
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gordos cups are actually exclusively for filling with sink water nd keeping on ur nightstand for after sex
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girl at party:
guy at party: ..,i'm gonna touch your lower back while i walk past you now
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should i start crying in front of the next customer that treats me less than human be honest
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phases of driving to tallahassee:
-excited, optimistic, yell singing
-wait this drive is long
-remember when driving to tally meant seeing your bf who u loved at the time
-sad
-i love it by icona pop
-drank too much water, have to pee
-recklessly horny, can’t focus
-arrive
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being in your hometown is really all about laying down and also getting an oil change
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i make eye contact with people who have blue eyes and i’m just like damn turn your brights off
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customer asked me to pull down my face mask so he could call me pretty and then tipped me 15% like ok apparently not pretty enough
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when me and my girlfriend (the stair master at the gym) are reunited i am going to take her out on the most extravagant date (30mins of stepping at varying intensity levels)
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lots of people asking me about my shirt today so this is my new dinosaur shirt faq. my sister was gonna sell it so i took it. dinosaurs are cool. my favorite dinosaur is probably the brachiosaurus because i like that it has a long neck but the triceratops is also cool. thank you
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watching the debate is reminding me of home (i argue with my dad and he doesn’t hear anything i say also he brings up stuff we are not talking about)
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cool part about getting dumped is that now lots of songs apply to my life!
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white ppl be like "omg look what my dad put in the family group chat"
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i love my friends and also mitski and tables !!!!!
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was doing that “i don’t chase i attract what belongs to me will simply find me” affirmation and now there are termites in our apartment
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the birthday fight night between jesus christ and i will air on nbc at 11pm est
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trying to put positive spins on things for example my car was broken into which means someone wants me etc
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someone else i went to high school with got married and didn’t invite me
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just found out i do not have covid gonna kiss my roommates on the mouth
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when a guy says he needs to take time to himself he rly means he is tired of having sex with u specifically
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driving out of tallahassee at golden hour and crying (total lady bird moment)
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bro if you’re reading this please check to see that you’re wearing deodorant i’m begging you bro please smell yourself
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to me the stock market is one hundred men in a room yelling at numbers that go sideways really fast. that is the stock market
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people should go through a breakup once to make good art and then never again after that
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late to work today because my phone alarms didn’t go off! wish i had something old fashioned to wake me up like a rooster or a husband
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need to know if biden is going to cancel student debt so i can get deep into it
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it’s been a great five years but my hs friend’s hs ex boyfriend finally kicked me off the family netflix account he never knew i had, thanks for all the memories luke
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customers were weird today one of them was the guy from cincinnati who i made out with on july 4th, 2016 he did not recognize me also his debit card was expired
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ok yea i will admit i am drunk. i will say that sometimes i look at my fish and wonder if he loves me. is that so wrong
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can’t wait to go to the beach so i can get my shit slapped around by a bunch of waves
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a restaurant’s secret sauce is always mayo and like some other stuff
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the scariest thing is actually being in a room of guys and they pass you the controller and tell you to play the funniest video you know
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guys don’t like it when you listen to car seat headrest they want you to hear it for the first time in their car at night
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have consulted some math and a skinny mirror and have come to the realization that i am NOT hideous! in fact am very “ok”, a 6/10 if you will
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connie and I are both in our own separate beds texting each other and every once in a while I can hear connie laughing faintly through the wall which I think is sweet and maybe cinematic
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my worst fear is that anaconda plays at a party and i’m wearing jeans
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i don’t even care if people see me picking my nose in my car anymore. completely numb to it at this point
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harry should let me into his big pants. there is plenty of room so at least one other person should get to be in there with him i think
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the love language test is like would you rather someone empty their bank account to give you a present or touch them
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wrote dis :)
Guy at Party With Joint Behind Ear Still Hasn’t Started Smoking It Yet
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just got recognized in my hometown publix as “one of those girls who would wear vintage clothes all of the time” should i be embarrassed
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can’t wait to move to new york so i can act like i’ve lived there my entire life and was born there even
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seriously if i were to get the 24hr brazzers thing for $1 am i supposed to sequester myself in my room for that time frame to go on a day long masturbation pilgrimage like what would that mean for my life
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straight up just threw up into my hand while driving heads up hot girl winter we’re on our way
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writing my truth<3
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none of us were having sex before corona virus and none of us are having sex now or even after
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ummmmm all i’m saying is that LESLIE KNOPE would be eating this rn??? am i right?????????🤪🤪🤪🙈🙈
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just left the house for the first time in two days only to keep sitting inside a movie theater to watch a romcom by myself! happy summer!
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college parties in movies be like let’s all sit on the kitchen island counter and make out
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excited to tell you guys about a stage of quar horny where it actually comes full circle and you never want to have sex ever again
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when a church is in a strip mall it’s like is this really what god wanted
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everyone keeps using the word “nuance” and i have to keep acting like i know what that means
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