elise 🌥️
@coldbrewkcal
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☕ 24 -`♡´- they/them -`♡´- mia 📖
stats: fat, used to be fatter
Joined May 2023
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the faster you come to terms with the fact that you have a bingeing (related) eating disorder and not a restrictive eating disorder the faster you can make a plan that actually works for you to move past it and lose the weight
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ppl w ana on edtwt need to realize how privileged they are 😒 you can add “rexic” onto any word to make a cute username, be “stonerexic”, “junkorexic” etc. tf am i supposed to do? stonerimic does not have the same cute ring to it. 🙄
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other pvrgers , what’s a food that’s way worse coming back up than it feels like it should be?
for me it’s apples, idk what it is but i hate it so much they taste vile 😭
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people on this side of twt have to stop shortening ‘already’ to ‘alr’, that means something else 🙄
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im only 13.6lbs away from a healthy bmi ive been overweight/obese my whole life i want this so bad i refuse to fuck it up.
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binge eating disorder? more like i’m binge eating dis order 🤪🤪🤪
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@skinnyelder
like the binge restrict cycle is no joke and it will kill any semblance of progress once it takes over. it’s such a tempting trap to fall into, but as soon as someone with a bingeing disorder thinks they’re gonna ‘speedrun’ it’s over for them 😭😭
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“edtwt would you eat [absurd amount of unhealthy food] to get to your ugw??” im bulimic babes that’s been the strategy from day one
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bulimia really has you going through absolute hell in order to lose weight at the pace of a healthy person on a very gentle diet lmao
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i never understand these graphics cuz like these tubs have 3-4 servings in them but they always list the cals for the whole thing. i’ve only ever eaten a full tub for a b/p, no one normal is eating that much ice cream at once you would get sick
…and you’re still craving that ice cream?
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being bvlimic is so embarrassing like i know all ed’s are hell but did i have to get the one where you destroy your teeth and digestive system and spend so much $$$ and are at risk of just dropping dead from pvrging and in the end you’re not even skinny??
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who needs meanspo when ur subcutaneous t shot requires u to pinch ur stomach fat in order to do it 😍
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another perfect month ✌🏻goal is 500/45/10 if you were wondering
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girl you don’t have the eat nothing disorder you have the eat everything and then un-eat it disorder, don’t even THINK of trying a triple digit intake you know damn well what will happen if you do. eat ur 1500cals and stfu.
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@skinnyoverload
oh biscoff and nutella feel horrible coming back up, especially if i just ate them from the jar with a spoon, i never even get them for my b/p sessions anymore even though i love them cuz it’s so gross
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i’m not gonna b/p in april. this isn’t a goal this is a fact. i control what i do and if i don’t want to b/p then i simply won’t do it.
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wait did i tell you guys my sister in law accused me of being on 0zempic? i’m literally only losing a few pounds a month if i was paying for that shit for these results i’d be so pissed i’d want my damn money back
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“if you need motivation from edtwt to starve are you even disordered 🙄” not every disorder is anorexia and you know it
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b/p has to be the dumbest fucking coping mechanism like oh no i’m stressed about school time to eat 12 chocolate bars dipped in frosting and pvke to feel better about it 🤪
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all those wieiad videos i’ve seen have convinced me that skipping breakfast is the fattest thing you can do. all these people don’t eat until like 4pm and then they inhale fast food until 2am, meanwhile the models eat a balanced breakfast every day and stop eating at 7pm.
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happy “wait then what time should i end my fast???” day to all who celebrate
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losing a lot of weight (80lbs idk if that’s actually a lot but it feels like it) is weird cuz i don’t want anyone to remember me being that fat but also i need everyone to know i used to be fatter so they don’t think im that fat now, you feel me?
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gm moots im out of the 160s for the first time since i was a literal child 🥴 half a pound away from a healthy bmi let’s go 😤😤😤
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when i hit a new lw and no one in my life notices (i lost less than 1lb)
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planned a whole b/p session in my head at the gym and after i was on my way to the dollar store to buy the stuff and somehow managed to talk myself out of it and just go home to follow my meal plan
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suffering through the unhealthiest “weight loss method” possible in order to lose weight at the same rate as a regular person who works out and eats in a moderate deficit
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the jump scare when you open someone’s bmi calculator screen cap and see this
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that seems like a lot why is my watch trying to kill me my goal is literally 30 min
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when i was bmi 37 i couldn’t really tell the difference between my fat and my body but at 24 i can FEEL that there is muscle and just like regular body under the soft outer layer and somehow that is way more triggering 😭😭 it’s like my real body is right there!
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tuna salad made with cottage cheese has such good macros like that’s crazy
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maintenance weekend turns into b/p weekend. everyone is shocked, no one saw this coming, this has never happened before
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i always chose locking in academically over weight loss because the only thing i’m more mentally ill about than my weight is my academic performance. this is why i have a full ride scholarship that’s enough to pay rent and groceries but im one hearty meal away from overweight
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if ultra processed foods didn’t exist i KNOW i would have such a better relationship with food. i feel so weak cuz this food is designed to be addictive and it works on me, why can’t i be like those people who seem immune to it, who eat healthy everyday and are normal about it 🫠
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happy november moots ✌🏻 october wasn’t my month but it also wasn’t NOT my month
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guys the 1 month of maintenance was worth it i passed my exam today they just emailed me
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there's just something so juvenile about junk food and i think thats why i hate being seen eating it so much. i hate feeling like a child, i need everyone around me to perceive me 100% as an independent adult and what kind of adult eats twinkies or frappes or cheetos 😭
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"i tried pvrging and it didnt work?? what am i doing wrong??" you are being protected, take this as a sign and never look back.
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ik everyone’s disorder is different but i will never understand the high weight people who post bc’s specifically to ask for mean comments like. yup. you’re fat. 👍🏻 and most people arent on here to bully others so we just awkwardly scroll past
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anyway my mom bought me some clothes as a surprise and they’re all size M and they all fit. i think i might genuinely no longer be irl fat 🥴 obv still fat on here though
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and some people ARE meant to be skinny cuz we have the opposite of lollipop head, when im fat i look like this
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i swear the tim’s cashiers at my school are making fun of my coffee order like i can tell they are 😭😭 is large ice coffee with a splash of almond milk and one splenda weird?? i get it every day and they always like smirk when i order it
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btw ✌🏻 i said no b/p in april and i meant it. i didnt let the last couple days of train wreck eating push me over the edge, it was so hard but i pushed through and im feeling a lot better after today
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i know you have to stop pvrging before you can stop bingeing so if i screw up and binge i have to just accept it and move on cuz if i pvrge to fix it i’ll just reinforce in my mind that i can undo a binge, which means i’ll feel like it’s okay to do it again
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overate again today but like “ate in only a slight deficit” overate rather than “ate like a fat pig” so idk. improvement? i also got like 16k steps so that’s cute ig.
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anyway that snack attack was so chill i was so scared it would turn into a binge but it didn’t. there were two ice creams and i ate one, there were six cookies and i ate two. it’s been so long since i overate in a normal way and not a bulimic way is it insane that im proud?
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@matcharxic
right like i’ve dealt with binge eating my whole life and when it developed into mia i tried to kind of copy ana-r ppl i saw online instead of listening to mia ppl and it made it so much worse. extended fasts and triple digit intake limits just trigger me and stall my weight loss
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i need to lose weight cuz i can’t be ugly weird AND fat like i need to have something going for me. can’t afford surgery to fix ugly or therapy to fix weird so we’re fixing fat.
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went grocery shopping while hungry and only bought healthy foods 😇
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another perfect month 🤭 haven’t missed a single day in 2023 so far
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i’m gonna say something and you’re not allowed to reply with “this is why you’re bmi 24” okay that’s just rude. anyway i really feel like healthy food cals count less. like the same number of cals from beans or lentils or tofu are NOT gonna make me fat like junk food cals do. 😤
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the medium binder i ordered to be my goal binder fits??? i used to wear a 3XL binder this is actually insane
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everyone irl must know i have binge issues because i eat SO healthy and work out all the time but im still fat, so i know they know and thats so embarrassing that should be enough to motivate me to stop
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gm moots i hope we all have a productive saturday i just got home from my morning workout 😇 i have a friends birthday this afternoon and i told myself if i burned over 1k before noon i could have a piece of cake 🥳
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changed my dn emoji cuz 🌥️ is my current fave and it just feels so right for me, 🪽is the old me i’m 🌥️ now
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inching back to my lw this is so annoying if i don’t break out of bmi 24 soon im gonna go crazy it’s been more than a month why am i so bad at losing weight (it’s because i have a get fat ed not a get skinny one)
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trying to stop a binge by eating 🙄 it worked i don’t feel like bingeing anymore but this many carbs before bed? gonna be so fat when i wake up
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i actually lost, please god if i don’t wake up in the 23s tomorrow…
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why do bad things (purge splashback) happen to good people (me)
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gonna just have maintenance intake for the long weekend, working on planning what i’m gonna do for april, im feeling confident ✌🏻
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that’s actually crazy if you think about it, a whole big cat worth of fat
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went to shoppers (canadian moots know) for batteries and didn’t buy any b/p food who clapped (got my ultimate vice diet dr pepper though)
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i made a big pot of my favourite soup earlier this week and i’m so sad because i only have enough left for lunch tomorrow and i kind of wanna just make the same soup again on sunday but also that’s a lil crazy but it’s soooo good and it feels so safe and cozy 😭
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when i’m cooking and putting my meals together i talk to myself like im recording a wieiad voice over. i’ve always wanted to film and post those 🥹 maybe over the summer ill make a tiktok to share them idk
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the first 2 days of no b/ping are always pretty easy, day 3 is when i ALWAYS mess up i cant remember the last time i was 3 days clean so wish me luck lol i have a busy day ahead and all my meals planned so i SHOULD be fine but idk 😭
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society if food scientists dedicated their lives to ensuring nutritious and balanced foods were accessible to all, instead of designing potato chips and snack cakes that override natural fullness cues
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time to weigh in and determine which 1 of 5 moods for me for the day
maintained: disappointed
gained a little: rage filled
gained a lot: inconsolably devastated
lost a little: relieved and optimistic
lost a lot: arrogant cunt
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i’m so torn part of me wants to Lock In™️ for april so i can be less fat by summer, but ik that will make my b/ping so much worse and also i have a major exam april 30 that i basically have to spend the whole month studying for
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it took more than 2 months but I DID IT even though i ate that poke bowl yesterday 🤭
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today was my first day following ww so i didn’t track cals at all during the day, just followed their pts system. punched it all into lose it just now just to make sure (including the 0pt food like fruit and eggs) and it’s actually way lower than i thought! here’s the comparison
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@puppystarves
okay but i’ve also had a weird influx of recov accts and like. where is that implied anywhere. please pay attention to who you follow cuz i don’t wanna have to worry about triggering y’all 😭 half of my tweets are about b/ping like. come on 😭😭
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didn’t buy b/p food, literally picked it up at the store and then put it back and got a drink instead, who clapped
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lmao 10% of my daily caloric intake is coming from tortillas 💀 girl…
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@crystalcaloriez
i forgot miles existed and was like how did you burn that many cals in 20 meters 🤔
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gm moots im so tired i didn’t push as hard as i could have but a workout is a workout
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i’m genuinely more scared of my mia turning back into BED than i am of the consequences of pvrging which makes trying to stop pvrging so hard
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lmao i just thought to myself that i was excited to start my little WW experiment tomorrow and i was suddenly catapulted back in time to when my BED was super bad and i watched alr content like religiously 😭😭
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wait powdered peanut butter has 12.5g of protein per 100cals?? why did i not realize how good the macros were on this
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that purity test everyone is doing is so funny it has sleeping w someone u met in the last 24hrs as an "unspeakable" act 😭
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“imagine all the cute clothes you can wear when you lose weight 🥰” well im broke so i just wear the same clothes i wore 50-75 lbs ago and look like shit. it’s a nice thought though.
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okay time to weigh in i know i’ve gained from this weekend and i just need to see it, accept it, and move forward with this month’s plan
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