gayboy 🫀
@claire_bear_d
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571
Following
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Media
670
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enthusiast of dead things and gay emo band enjoyer
any pronouns
Joined September 2017
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I can't believe my boyfriend's loser ass hobby not only took me to Barcelona but now might be taking me to fucking vegas and chicago and winning us like 10k
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Jake is never beating the wife guy allegations when his response to making top 8 was to immediately find and charge me
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In all of the PT chaos I never actually made a birthday post for Jake hap 23 glad you caught up
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these pics are all incredible but I am a little biased in saying this is my favorite
In the end it was a rookie who once again lifted the trophy, 17 years later. Congrats!👏👏
10/10
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Being so aggressively involved in the PT on twt and interacting with everyone being supporting has irrevocably destroyed my algorithm I'm getting so much MTG content as someone who doesn't play
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dw guys jake isn't letting winning to to his head and is back on just horrific decks. just dogshit concepts. why are you playing cardboard tribal. you’re gonna go 2-2 at FNM buddy
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PLAGUED WITH VISIONS
✅ Oppenheimer
✅ Barbie
✅ Life altering FOB concert
✅ On plane to Spain
⬜️ Jakes wins pro tour and 50k
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@pompon_cookie
Yeah lol I looked down for 5 seconds cos it's game three and I'm stressing for him and I look up, game ended, and Jake's bolting at me full steam ahead and I almost fell over cos he’s so hyped since it meant he could draw into top 8!!
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A series of events at
#PTLOTR
featuring Jake's arrival and progression of disbelief as he D2's, reQ's, and then makes top 8 lmao
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I know I just shit on
@makememesnotwar
nonstop but I promise we just get awkward saying sappy shit so instead we've bullied each other for 4+ years
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@Hoejabi
Not my fault Francie burnt her house down and stole $750,000 from my amnesiac grandmother while off her ass on opiates
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being diagnosed the popular MTG girlfriend of the week is so disorienting idk what I'm gonna do if Jake keeps these results up cos I'm not gonna stop being unhinged online and I'm only going to get stupider with an audience
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in retrospect I probs should've clarified that I do know how to play I just don't that often
if I didn't know how to play I would not have undergone the epic highs and lows of "oh god he's got nat tron and keeping 7" into "oh my fucking god he's gonna take the ulamog"
Being so aggressively involved in the PT on twt and interacting with everyone being supporting has irrevocably destroyed my algorithm I'm getting so much MTG content as someone who doesn't play
10
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2020 said we get 24 hours before it hurts again :( not Alex trebek man :/
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NOT MAYBE, IS
I can't believe my boyfriend's loser ass hobby not only took me to Barcelona but now might be taking me to fucking vegas and chicago and winning us like 10k
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US taxes cutting the 50k to 35k I understand the appeal of tax fraud personally now
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Jake referred to a murder-suicide as a "full blown mmm whatcha say moment"
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Night before worlds, and you’re rooting against Jake dont do it bc he's some rando underdog coming out of nowhere.
Root against him bc he drives one of these atrocities with pride
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Jake is on a podcast attributing almost every single match of the PT to pure luck bud i think u can say you played well for at least a few of them
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My wife (a judge) took the kids (jakes deck) in the divorce (a spontaneous deck check)
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I think if I told 2018 me that in 5 yrs I'd be in a long term relationship with some dude who plays wizard cardboard at a pro level and is probs going to be streaming about it soon, I would've either assumed i was lying or bullied me or both
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using Jake's PT winnings to buy dino chicken nugget throw pillows for the living room
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Bumper sticker reveal
Got a car full of gay bitches behind me laughing at my bumper stickers in the parking line at howl o scream FINALLY people who appreciate real humor
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Jake, notable ashiok fan, saying he hopes they destroy the multiverse just by being silly and saying "that would be very slay queen of them" JAKE.
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I don't have words for how proud of this idiot I am for surviving a grad degree and the nonsense that came with
but I do have actions. so I made alcoholic dirt n worms about it ♥️ love u
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I love thinking abt the time before jake n I started dating cos he had tried so hard to flirt with me and in return I showed him things like. the zootopia abortion comic. and forcing him to binge all salad fingers vids with me
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I have feelings for this piece
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children appreciation post cos I miss them so much and we finally get back to noke and see them tn!!!! my sons !!
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Jakes dad telling me to make jake change his last name cos it's a hassle was funny for two reasons-
1) the concept alone
2) why would I ever pass up the opportunity to make us both hyphenate. like i wouldn't make us walk around as Beard-Beardsley and Beardsley-Beard bffr ted
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whooping jakes ass at legacy maybe I will voluntarily play wizard cardboard more often
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approximately one day a month I wear something other than a flannel, band shirt, and joggers and try for once ✌🏻😎
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Jake is trying to explain legacy decks for me to play with him this is exactly my brain rn
I love Magic The Gathering so much. Everything about it is so fun except the part where it is so complicated that I never have any idea what the fuck is going on.
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drag queens reading at libraries doesn't turn little girls gay, repeatedly watching Shakira music videos in elementary school is what turns little girls gay
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Jake looking over at me silently as I sort my life saver gummies by color and when I finish only commenting "I'd say this is at least a category 3 [autism event]"
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A nice christmas song for you:
Jingle bells,
taking L’s,
hit me with a sleigh,
I’m so done this isn’t fun,
there goes my GPA 🎄🎄
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I don't deserve this
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I was joking about riding his coattails for attention as a goof y'all but they keep handing me attention on a silver platter so I will give the people what they want:
a pro mtg player's partner who knows what is going on and is just so silly abt it
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Sitting in the Taco Bell parking lot for 4 minutes killing time cos we got here at 1:58 and want 1 dollar baja blasts
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@pogue25
@MNateShyamalan
Nah they just found a couple trillion in gold ore deposits in Uganda I think this def gotta be abt this
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Jake having his brother n their friend over to playtest is just like letting these three loose in a suburban apartment
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oh god our flight is FULL full they're making most people check their carry ons supposedly if this trophy breaks because someone yeets it jake is gonna be distraught
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tried to prevent unnecessary purchases at target by not grabbing a cart or basket but now im walking around with a crockpot three 6 packs and poptarts and sending Jake back for a cart in shame
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for the new ppl following me bc of jakes PT win or my ovbs hilarious sense of humor: top boy is Sableye (he’s not blind he’s a fraud) and the idiot on the bottom is greasefang (Fang really but Jake saw an opportunity and took it)
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the old lady I got a patio set from off of fbm complimented my "Jesus is my copilot" bumper sticker
ma'am I think you didn't read the "and we're cruising for pussy" part beneath it
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Went to a RCQ 3h away with Jake & his brother & their diet brother cos I have to swap cars with my dad and it's a midway point but I also have to be at work for 3hrs tonight I will kill them personally if Sean or Noah go deep enough to keep us there late but don't get an invite
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Jake's extreme luck stop giving us whiplash challenge
📉 24h delay & have to buy a new set of plane tix
📈Opening bangers bt his boosters and draft decks
📈Winning the pt lol
📉VT sucks and post deadline emails him maybe no funding this sem
📉Teaching
📈Funded n graduating👍🏻
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it appears my attempt at staying so busy I don't have time for mental illness symptoms for over a month straight has backfired in that it has left me too exhausted to move most nights how could this possibly have happened to me
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got complemented by a main commentator on my ability to know what the fuck is going on w jakes matches instead of most wives and gf's being completely lost slay on my behalf
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✅ Oppenheimer
✅ Barbie
✅ Life altering FOB concert
✅ On plane to Spain
⬜️ Jakes wins pro tour and 50k
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Mentioned it in passing and accidentally sent Jake on a multiple minute logistics rant about ad nauseam send help
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not to pray on people's downfall but I want that guy suffering and publicly humiliated
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👁👁 I would commit crimes for this shirt even tho I would not look good in it
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boys will literally take a perfect head of hair and decide to cut it all off with the worst outcome possible what is wrong with them
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What is Joe Biden's plan to get European Fanta to the US idk how I'm gonna cope without lemon Fanta
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Intact at Lisbon airport, we'll see how it looks when we land 🤞🏻
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not the complex's repair man asking me abt Jake winning the PT
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I cannot count the amount of ppl who have come up to me knowing I'm here for jake asking why in gods name is he wearing a beanie in this heat like idk man you got a weirdo in the top 8
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