Chris Manzo
@chris_manzo
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Following
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Statuses
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I Host @MBFantasyLife on Saturday mornings from 9-11 @siriusxm and sell pizza. Both keep me fairly busy.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Joined October 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Let's go!! Me and
@MarcasG
coming at you every Saturday morning.
We’ve got a new Fantasy Life show 🔥
Join
@MarcasG
and
@chris_manzo
every Saturday on
@SiriusXMFantasy
from 9-11am EST as they get you ready to dominate your fantasy football leagues!
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A Schitts Creek prequel showing life when they were rich.
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Honestly maybe we take this opportunity to normalize slapping people and then continuing about your day.
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The BravoCon hotel is wild. It’s like Bravo Disney breakfast
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Regardless of the genders I'm referring to Beyonce and Jay's twins as '17 Bonnie and Clyde.
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Now is a good a time as any, I have always thought Joel Osteen is completely full of shit and a thief.
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Rob Kardashin is upset that someone that pierces random areas of her face makes poor life decisions. 🤷🏻♂️
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Nobody is harder on themselves than me after I realize I’ve sat through the commercials of something that’s recorded.
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I really hope there’s a plan in place for the amount of service industry workers that rely on tips that live in Hoboken. I completely understand it but damn. If you’re a landlord and are able, please be kind.
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My younger cousin had a baby today. She's engaged to be married. I on the other hand, have had 2 lunches.
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Accidentally had romaine today. I’ve eaten nothing but shit for 29 years, and lettuce is what’s going to finally do me in.
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My mom never made a sign for me to take a pic in front of for the first day of school and I'm starting to think thats why my grades were bad
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Also- people using this as an excuse to post their Vegas pic from earlier in the year are the worst type of person.
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This earth been here millions of years and of course I get the 'Cash Me Ousside' era
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Lauren's baby is pretty cool so far. Will send updates moving forward.
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Anyone else feelin' like their state is just making shit up as we go?
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Adele just Kanye'd her own damn performance. Put her on Mt. Rushmore
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Super random but the
@PBATour
is my newest obsession. I’d really like it if we all rallied behind bowling and made it a stadium sport.
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Regardless of what your politics are, the relationship between The President and Vice President is special and fun to watch.
#obamafarewell
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We may not know what's in Aaron Rodgers secret tent, but we definitely know who insured it.
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Hey everyone good news I’m Eminem now. Just found out tonight, very excited.
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Re watching all the Harry Potter’s. It’s insane how happy this shit makes me.
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Blocking anyone who tries to act too cool for Beauty And The Beast
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I can’t ever go to the Oscars because Id scream “JUST FUCK ALREADY” right about now.
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People who eat dinner before 7 pm scare the shit out of me.
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I'm at this new level of fat where I cut a V in all my shitty t shirts to give one of my necks more space.
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Right now like 30,000 Americans are running in a marathon not even 10 miles from me and I'm on a couch comparing bagel places.
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Smoking or non?
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Open your hearts, your wallets, your grandmas wallet, just like- not your 18000 seat ARENA. The book of Osteen.
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There's nothing even remotely ok about ANY of the past weeks events, stop comparing which is worse and acknowledge them all as bad.
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I deleted Facebook like 4 months ago and haven't said Happy Birthday to someone since.
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My phone is fuckkkked up- Apple you are fooling nobody this happens every fall.
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Remember to Boomerang fireworks later, I bet nobody else is gonna.
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If
#LillyKing
says "Felt good Putin her in her place" I'll pull my tv off the wall and throw it to celebrate.
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Bruce Jenner being a hardcore republican is the shit that realllllly rocked the nation #🐘
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I was really hoping to live my whole life without having to worry about nazis.
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Big shout to Apple for not assuming we all want the U2 album this go round.
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Late to the party here but god bless Aly Raisman. She fucking killed it.
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I'm still not my uncle. Which means I'm still not married To my aunt. Which means a lot of you are tweeting the wrong person.
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Uber just told me in a commercial that they’re gonna start doing more thorough background checks and now I’m wondering what kind of danger I’ve been in this whole time.
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Feel bad that my birthday is taking attention away from Kanye and Kims wedding but like you picked the day bro.
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If anyone wants a quickkkk lesson on character- the loser is smiling and winner is angry.
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I really do commend people who go out on NYE. Seems like a lot.
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John And Kate guy is stripping in AC- is that the shit I have to do now that the show is done?
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Imagine being OK with being 'the guy that held up desperately needed relief when people needed it most' as your place in history?
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Can I be a good person even if I don't write how good of a person I am in notes and post it on all social media platforms?
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Hello, young White American here- you are literally the last person I want on my side . 🖕🏼.
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.
@BarackObama
where u watching the games Sunday? I'll b at my moms or in Hoboken but ok to switch plans if you wanna do something else. Lmk
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NYC is so empty, besides Will Smith and that German Shepard I haven't seen anyone.
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“How many husbands does she have” is as funny a line as I’ve seen in a trailer ever.
Just because you make a movie, doesn’t mean you’re old enough to see it. Please enjoy the red band trailer for
#GoodBoysmovie
.
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Bruno is the most important musician/American/human we got right now. Respect this man!!!
#GRAMMYs
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I forgot about this too! I just was just trying to tell them that the raffle prize was a cross-bow.
I totally forgot the part where Danielle brings the scary dudes with her to the brownstone and
@chris_manzo
tells her and kim g they’re “in for a surprise” (they’re way overdressed for the event) and they take it as “we are about to fuck you over and embarrass you inside” lollll
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Not having plans for NYE is far less stressful than having them.
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Was just walking down the street, uncharacteristically chipper, and then a bird took a shit on my head.
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I never wanted to do drugs, but Chris Christie is on a commercial saying not to do them so now I feel like I have to.
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Heavy heart for NYC today. Fucking world is backwards man.
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Watching synchronized diving thinking about how I can't even hi-five someone right 100% of the time.
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I just realized that starting next year I can become the drunk uncle.
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Bought my first body pillow.
l don’t need anything else now.
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I’m at my Grandmas condo in Florida, her land line just rang.
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He's for sure wetting balls of toilet paper and throwing them on the ceiling.
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People's @ names should be on their car so I can hate tweet them when I get home.
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Tomorrow is the closest we will get as a nation to being on the conveyor belt at the end of Toy Story 3. Take it in folks.
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I thought my mind was made up on who to vote for but then I saw a sign for the other person on a lawn and now idk what to do.
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Random thought about the YouTube guy- set aside the ENTIRE video (which I haven’t seen) ...you gotta be kind of fucked in the head to enter a forest expecting/hoping to see dead people- like really twisted.
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My amazing sister is pregnant and is going to be an amazing mother. Congratulations Lauren and…
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I'm so hungover that I just said "shut up no one cares" to an Instagram post.
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I'm excited for the election to be over so I can start liking people again.
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Let's petition to move Andrew Jackson to the 5 dollar bill so we can start calling it the Jackson 5. That would be the best.
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A homeless man came up to me, sang the song from Happy Days (just the beginning) and then told me I wasn't invited to his party. I swear.
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'Phelps vs. Shark' is alright but the people really want 'Lochte vs. Book'
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Idk anything about Love Is Blind- but the episode cannot be as good as the tweets about it’s delay are. It just can’t.
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Today is the third installment of a long weekend filled with me not doing shitttttt 😎😎
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If the first day is any indicator I'm going to gain 390 pounds in 2017
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I just want to get to a place where I stop eating once I’m full.
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Also Black Friday commercials are bullshit. Nobody is happy waltzing down the isle, its a blood bath.
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I had a birthday party last night and I am in physical pain because of it.
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I ordered a breakfast sandwich and Gatorade and I'm pacing by the door like I'm going to propose to it when it gets here.
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How many times can you order Chinese before it becomes sad and pathetic? I'm not asking for a friend. It's for me. I want to know.
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Anyone ever track down the person who lived in their apt before them on FB to yell at them to forward their mail? Or will I be the first.
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I don't have a PowerBall ticket- hoping someone I know wins and just does the right thing.
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I don't think I'm gonna put an xmas tree in my apt cause it's just another thing I can accidentally set on fire and I've been doing well.
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You have no soul if you don't respect what Chance is doing in Chicago- I hope everyone in his position would think the way he does.
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