🚩Dan Credentials🚩
@CharlemagnumPI
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Librarian family man by day, librarian family man by night. Half of @CanonBallPod and @Thrawnderdome , member @BhamDSA
Birmingham, AL
Joined July 2014
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Pinned Tweet
You, a fool: You can't just post amazing pictures, this is twitter, you have to use one of the accepted joke formats
Me, an intellectual:
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Becoming a dinosaur scientist and winning a gold medal for jumping on the trampoline, don't tell any 7 year old their dreams are out of reach
OMG, Bryony Page, who just won Olympic Gold for trampolining, studied palaeontology and wrote her dissertation on acoustic signalling in dinosaurs 🤩🦖🦕
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Me, deciding where to get lunch: Hmm, maybe that place that jacks their prices up at lunch
Wendy’s planning Uber-style ‘surge pricing’ where burger prices fluctuate based on demand
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On Bluey, we know Dog Australia has a military because Rusty’s dad is deployed in Dog Afghanistan. On the episode “Grandad”, Grandad mentions a “trick he learned in the jungle” to avoid detection. This implies that Chili’s father served in Dog Vietnam.
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I really hate the phrase "flipping burgers." A better way to describe food service work is "being on your feet for hours at a time in a hot busy kitchen where everything you do is monitored and timed."
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I know I’m probably violating a law but y’all have to see what I just saw on a resume
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People who use “barista” as a stand in for “easy phony job” are the same ones who say “must be nice to read books all day” when you tell them you work in a library
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That's right: free real estate provided by the federal government
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None of these topics are skills. Here is a better list:
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Dems must weigh the political calculus carefully with student debt relief. It would deliver concrete, life changing results to a part of their coalition that’s slipping away, BUT people who would never in a million years cast a vote for them would be mad. Not an easy call!
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Pretty funny how for eight or ten years we were propagandized about how self-driving trucks were going to make truck drivers obsolete so fewer people went into the field and now there's a shortage of trained truck drivers and self-driving cars can only run pedestrians down
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The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward crab
Crustaceans have evolved into the shape of a crab at least 5 independent times. I do not like this.
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My wife does not smoke but she had an incredible stoner idea the other day. Last night we made it a reality: loaded baked potatoes au gratin
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All advertising should be illegal. If I need something I will look it up in The Directory of Products and Services.
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What's your favourite piece of graffiti? I don't know if mine still exists, but there used to be one saying "Lubię rosół". Which translates as "I like chicken noodle soup". How could you not?
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Get a load of the "atheist" who thinks human linguistic categories have cosmic reality
Sex is clearly binary, declaring oneself to be otherwise is a distortion of reality.
#Gender
#Science
#PoetryOfReality
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Going to become a trad Christian like in the Middle Ages (doesn’t know what the Bible is, my priest has two wives, I remember to bring an offering for the madonna who lives at the spring and also one for the madonna who lives at the weird shaped rock)
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“Barred for life from acquiring relics” wizard conclave ass punishment
Michael Steinhardt, the billionaire hedge fund pioneer and one of New York's most prolific antiquities collectors, has surrendered 180 stolen objects valued at $70 million and been barred for life from acquiring any other relics, officials said Monday.
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Plato-ass little kid
"A small child once said to me: 'You don't draw Bugs Bunny, you draw pictures of Bugs Bunny.’ That’s a very profound observation because it means he thinks the characters are alive, which, as far as I am concerned, is true.’'
Chuck Jones (1912-2002) was born on this date.
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This is what all the "per capita highest charitable giving" is going to in the South
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Pricing everyone else out of the Beautiful Weather capital of the world and doing this instead of anything else. Really captures the perversity at the heart of it all
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Totally ahistorical. No one identifiable as a "hipster" would have been caught dead with a Mumford and Sons album. This is back-filling the Nashville-ass, Christian youth pastor pass at Williamsburg circa 2005 aesthetics from the High Obama Era
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TIL an Allosaurus pubic bone fossil was discovered in 1999 with a huge puncture in it and evidence of infection and enormous abscess that likely killed the animal. The injury has been interpreted as the Allosaurus getting owned straight in the dick by a Stegosaurus's tail spikes
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The phenotype that designed and built the pyramids. A shape of honor
this is how I imagine ~80% of you are built
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This is a dril post
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Pretty funny how the right has absorbed and metabolized the liberal "get a bunch of people to mill around for a while" demonstration tactic but with the added feature that they don't have to get out of their cars
WOW! Thousands of patriots showing their support for President Trump on Long Island.
The FBI made a big mistake.
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My mom tells of my great-grandmother who was of this cohort. She loved to sit in a rocking chair with my young mom and watch professional wrestling on TV, muttering "Oh mercy" when they got a good smack in.
i feel like the craziest generation to live in would be if you’re born in the late 1880s and travel in covered wagon as a child and then when you’re very old in 1969 you see a man walk on the moon on tv
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Just learned that a ton of early Family Circus cartoons were about Dad's desperate alcoholism
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WAKE UP!
Black Lives Matter wants to destroy law enforcement, end bail, empty the prisons (including drug dealers as well as users), provide themselves with reparations, AND a full-time government income without the necessity of work.
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Dismissive descriptions of "low skill labor" elide what workers are being made to do for most of their waking hours and makes it easier to justify poverty wages.
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Just checked out some Batman books to a kindergarten age kid who was working out what the whole deal with the Joker is. "He is doing mean things, but he's smiling", he said with a furrowed brow
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Today I learned that Roman gym owners sold Gamer Girl Bathwater
1/3) The grimy mixture of olive oil, sweat and dirt scraped from the bodies of top athletes and gladiators, a mixture known as "strigimentum", was sometimes collected by officials in charge of the gymnasia and sold to the public at huge prices..
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They hate it BECAUSE it serves the local community. Patriotism is steeped in disgust for the actual existing community because all communities are insufficiently pure of contaminants. Patriotism is only negation, it only ever bears evil fruit.
Liverpool's Spellow Lane library torched last night. What could be more 'patriotic' than destroying a centre which serves the local community?
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@woodcut_beavis
Dingoes stand in for indigenous Australians in what experts are calling an “appallingly offensive” minisode of Bluey
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We’re getting into the “strangers having sincere arguments in my mentions” phase of the viral post lifecycle, so before I mute remember kids: defund the police to protect public services like libraries in the age of covid austerity
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@Markidactyl
Him: You might say I RHODES my father's coattails into being hired for this position
Me: I can't ask you to just leave the library, sir, but I need you to understand that you were not hired for this position
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Quantitative history and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
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The political core of Trumpism is 50+ homeowners who would suicide bomb city hall if their house valuation went down 1%, this is even more delusional than believing Harris would stop weapons shipments
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Any kid bored by the prose and story of Mockingbird is straight up not going to make it past page two of the Iliad. Just because a work is about men murdering each other does not mean a boy will enjoy it
Was thinking about the consequences of making boys read books like this instead of The Iliad and The Song of Roland. It set me back many years.
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Total ban on outdoor advertising. Every billboard toppled, banner-towing airplanes shot out of the sky.
Tell me your most radical position that cannot be placed on the left-right political spectrum
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A lot of people out there with just no idea what it takes to create their way of life all over for them each day
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The year is 2145. Vice President Hezakiah McCain-Pelosi of the Real Provisional USA announces that 9/11 has been avenged once more with the execution of the Mayor of Junktown, convicted of Blood Guilt for having an ancestor who sold a cinnamon bun to a hijacker
Assisted in the clandestine travel to Afghanistan of 10 of the 12 terrorists who carried out the September 11 terrorist attacks in the United States.
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@justinboldaji
Pure uncut publisher profiteering. Some "retire" the digital copies libraries buy after 25-30 check outs because that's the typical lifespan of a physical book and make you buy it again
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Well it looks like this post is the one that's going to get me over 1K, so I have to hire him now
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Though the right would of course be in favor of the "Murdering the people who live there to obtain the free real estate" prologue without controversy
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You're tellin me a guy with no formal background in engineering paid a bunch of people with formal backgrounds in engineering to do this? WOW!
guy with no formal background in engineering did this. you can just do things
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A cool thing about conservatives is how much they loathe actual Americans. He's talking about the 90% of people in the United States who attended or currently attend a public school, applying what he sees as contemptuous labels to us.
Actor Kirk Cameron says if you send your kids to public schools, they'll come back as "little Marxists, little statists, little atheists, drag queens, strippers, drug dealers... you name it."
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Paying $96 a year to boost my reply straight to the top when I comment “hell yeag” under a picture of the Steely Dan guys looking sleazy
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I never put it together that the Scots-Irish migrants in Appalachia were moving from one end to the other of the exact same mountain chain
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"Oooh but what about television and websites and radio and magazines"
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While y’all are here please consider supporting Barbers Blessing Birmingham, a coalition of barbers who provide free haircuts, toiletries, and meals to unhoused people in my city in recognition of their worth and dignity
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@bdmcclay
Some people just cannot handle the fact that people who make their living doing work that is not considered prestigious are also capable of exceptional things
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The Pink Panther franchise consists of movies that don’t have the titular diamond in them, an unrelated cartoon about a cat instead of a diamond, and a home insulation brand.
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Under my benevolent dictatorship, supergraphics will be the official design aesthetic of all of the people's community spaces and public buildings
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@LegoRacers2
This is like when Kraft rebranded to Mondelez. Companies taking a semester abroad and coming back insisting you call them “Beto”
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@allahliker
No replies yet, one like, this is the screenshot of someone on the lookout for buttmogging
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American Catholics are like “Wow I can’t believe the pope isn’t on this Puritan Protestant shit”
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They got freakin apes on clearance at the Piggly Wiggly
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You will learn more about productivity, discipline, and critical thinking by becoming as roundly capable a handyperson as you can than you would from any book in the TED Talk genre
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In my alternate history Oscanworld, the Samnites beat out the Latins for mastery of Italy and subsequently the Mediterranean. Everything is exactly the same except for phonological shifts so we play the computer game Cibilization while posting on sopial mefia
It's extremely funny that a billion people ended up speaking offshoots of a random regional language from ancient Central Italy
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And 100 million years later the monkey descendants of the little rat monsters you stepped on are laughing at you. No organism has been so comprehensively owned as this Allosaurus
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@crackth3skye
@Devon_Wiersma
You know how annoying it is to grind for crafting supplies? What if I told you you had to do that in a different game entirely? Not so annoying now is it!
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These days men would rather “shop in malls” than “chop up Gauls.” These days
Roman legionaries risked life and limb for 25 years for the chance of land they could farm as free citizens. Meanwhile you aspire to be a corporate drone paying condo fees in the most expensive part of the urban core…
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My dad has spent his empty nest years as an open handed patron of the Birmingham DIY music scene. Helped rig the PA system at a punk dive, pays cover for 3-5 shows a week, always buys merch, tips the bar staff like a king, and has archived years worth of footage of bands
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@socialaskan
Did they have to do that thing where you hire a woman to meet you in a hotel room and hire a private detective to take pictures so that you could divorce up through last year?
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@abs_sweetmarie
Look, buddy, if he’s making a movie you’re damn right he’s going to put a monstrous fetus in it
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I think one reason men/boys are bad at “matching” clothing is that we all had that one day in 7th grade where we wore a blue shirt and blue shorts and your friends called you Blue Boy for a month. That puts you off the whole thing
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Ah okay this got big enough to attract the “you are wrong about facts” brigade so muting
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Getting this specially to correct everyone who says “oh cool dinosaur skull.”
You fool. You hopeless rube. You’ve fallen right into my trap. Prepare to hear about the diversity of Triassic archosaurs and crocodilian crurotarsal joint
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Pretty funny that this guy is going to die like all of the rest of us and everyone who has ever existed
Bryan Johnson spends $2 million a year to be 18 years old again.
In 2021, he reduced his epigenetic age by 5.1 years in 7 months (a world record)
His 13-steps for a long healthy life:
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"Folks, they're teaching propaganda like Howard Zinn. Very low energy, very little Hobsbawm, very little world-systems analysis. Kids are coming home from school and they can't even tell you how settler-colonial polities develop from semi-peripheries to imperial cores!"
Trump is reading a speech at the National Archives Museum criticizing the left's approach to the study of history, complaining of the New York Times' 1619 Project, critical race theory, and "propaganda tracts like those of Howard Zinn."
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To all the haters pointing out that we didn't actually invent anything new, I hope you find love in your life someday and someone to do fun little bits with
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@craig_rangoon
This is the first time a male actor has stepped outside of typical gender expression in a performance. Inspiring
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Just say The Word was with God and The Word was God and get it over with, dude
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@kayiveyforgov
I wonder why the good folks in Montgomery in office under the 1901 constitution are so worried about Alabama’s children learning their own history?
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That's where the water runs out
2. Why is there almost an line here where the population just drops off?
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@MFAnerd
Lol I love the ones about like, the automatic pizza maker and shit. Until there are automatic automatic pizza maker cleaners and restockers it ain't the breakthrough you think it is!
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There's so much in this post. What methodology could possibly produce this? What value is being measured on the Y axis? 0% political stress in the 1980s?? 0% political stress in the 1820s?????
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The hundreds of thousands of ethnically cleansed Jews of Spain and tens of thousands of native people who died in the mercury poisoned silver mines of Potosí don’t count as human sacrifice for reasons
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@Turwinkle
I agree! Workers should be allowed to run their own lives! Every restaurant should be seized from its absentee owners and run as a cooperative.
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Cast of the wound fitted to a Stegosaur spike. Open and shut case, imo. Jesus lol
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