Chaotically,
@chaoticandfine
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Sooooo I went to court this morning and I officially have ✨ full custody ✨
It’s official. It’s done. I can move if I want to. I don’t have to get his permission for a n y t h i n g.
No more control over me or our children. I feel free.
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Are we all still turning the water to ice cold at the end of the shower for 3 seconds because we read in a Cosmo in 2001 that it was good for our skin and hair???? Just me????
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Something I just started yesterday that I never knew existed.... PARENT THERAPY! I met with a Child Psychologist who SPECIALIZES in parenting, so he never meets with the child - just the parent... to talk through parenting issues & YOUR feelings 🤯
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PARENTING IS HARD. All of it. All the ages. All the stages. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
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My ex husband and I shopped for our kids and then each sent a pic of what we got and traded/gave each other stuff so the days would be fair and so they wouldn’t be over gifted and tbh, I’m proud of us.
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The way my boyfriend is so genuinely ✨unbothered✨ is so nice. Would you mind do—no. He wouldn’t mind. I’m sorry to incon—he isn’t inconvenienced. He genuinely wants to help and it is mind blowing.
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How come women are forced to have babies they aren’t ready for but men can walk away from their full ass family that depends on them to sleep with younger women because their wives didn’t put out enough
Asking for a friend
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Hi. Hello. Hey. It is not the mom's responsibility to make sure that everyone has a relationship with her children. If you'd like to be around said children.... read a schedule, be involved. I'm not chasing you down begging you to attend their lives. THANKUFORCOMINGTOMYTEDTALK
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Does anyone ever get soooooooooooo over touched where you literally feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack if you don’t get some space soon???????
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16 yr old: hey can I babysit 6 and 7 this morning and let you sleep in for $20? I’m saving for a car
Bruh yes
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Also, the double standard for men vs women is INSANE. No one tells a man who was cheated on to give it time, give it a grace period, or really think about it. Nah. They take them to the strip club and say “get back on the horse, you deserve it” Fuck society bruh
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Anybody else have that “I forgot I had to go to the bathroom 3 hours ago” work ethic?
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I have this theory that if men got periods, we’d have more PTO time.
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I remember when my ex husband told me if I left him (even tho he cheated) I’d have nothing - I didn’t have a job (SAHM) or my own bank account or degree
Now I have my own house, many bank accounts, a brand new car, I got a 4.0 in college this sem, have a f/t job & full custody
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My sister picked 10.10.20 after the profound “ten, ten, twenty on yo titties bitch” line in Rack City by
@Tyga
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Watching your ex get engaged is a WEIRD experience for me, guys. I’ve been in a loving relationship for 3+ years. It still feels weird. Like, how come he just now lives the life I wanted with him but he couldn’t keep it in his pants with me because I was too focused on our babies
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Oh look
Their dad didn’t show up to another event
But if I move to a place where I have a support system that is 90 miles away
hOw WoUlD He aTtEnD eVeNts
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gorgeous gorgeous girls buy new phone cases and rearrange their furniture to cope because they need a significant change in their life after consistent change through their childhood but they are too old to be dying their hair, starting a fight with their s/o or changing careers
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It does NOT make you a bad person if you decide to leave a relationship, a marriage, a job, a birthday party. I don’t care what it is—if it’s toxic and causing you harm, you leave it. However long it takes. Wherever and whatever it brings. You deserve more. And that’s okay.
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If my Christmas tree being up before you think it’s appropriate to have my Christmas tree up bothers you, don’t come over.
Problem solved.
Fa la la la la leave.
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???? Not only do I work a full time job and parent alone 92% of the time, I also run a secondary business AND VOLUNTEER TO COACH SAID TEAM. I don’t have time to be anybody’s secretary! I reminded him!
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If one more person sends me the article that says you shouldn’t marry firefighters….. my ex worked in retail and cheated on me (pregnant wife with a 1 year old at home) for 9 months with a 19 yr old employee of his. Professions don’t matter, the man matters.
Thx ☺️
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My man just sent me a Snapchat which I opened during a meeting, nbd… except it was a video of him making inappropriate sounds and going “do you want me to stick it in? Slow? It’s pretty hot and tight” MF WAS LAMINATING SOMETHING I HATE HIM
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My son had a panic attack this morning and my mom’s response tells me everything
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Sex|| TMI.
Ex husband: demanded it bc it was owed, got his and it was over
New boo: 1hr of me getting mine a dozen+ times then him getting his then taking a shower 2gether and him saying “I’m gonna go get you Starbucks, take your time- enjoy the quiet in the shower.”
Mmk.
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I don’t know where Fergie got her information, big girls cry quite a bit.
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Welpppp. M and I just decided to open a joint savings account that we can both start contributing to for things liiiiike a down payment on a 🏡, a future wedding, family vacations, etc. so I feel like I’m not officially engaged buttttt I’m feeling partnered up😂
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I’m on my period. My 4 yr old just burst into the bathroom when I was using it and saw me, turned around and ran out, screaming
“DADDY! Mommy’s DYING!!!!”
Pros and cons.
CON- I think I scarred him for life
PRO- I think I can pee by myself for a few days
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My 6 year old talking to her friends about the firefighter that came to school this morning:
“Yeah. He’s my step dad.”
Oh 🥺🥺
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When your bf and his friends are all talking about how they rushed to pick their kids up from daycare on 9.11, they turn to you and say “where were you?”
I don’t have the heart to tell I had just gotten to 3rd period, in the 8th grade.
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If you’re asking if I’ve listened to Cover Me Up by Morgan Wallen 6,781 times today......
The answer is maybe.
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My life as a co parent:
My ex husband has the kids two weekends in a row for 45 hrs maybe (bc of HIS schedule), everybody: “Oh my gosh. U have the kids AGAIN? K’s priorities are messed.”
I have the kids 3 weeks straight, every minute of every day, everybody:
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M’s ex wife FaceTimed me to watch 16 try on prom dresses🥺 I love her and I love 16 so much. Makes me emotional and I’ve only known her for 3 years.
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If I take a bubble bath at noon and then redress into the same matching Christmas pajamas I wore to sleep in last night before continuing our Disney+ binge.... am I living my best Saturday life, yes or
Yes
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Isn’t it crazy to know that someone is telling a version of your story where you are the bad guy?
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“Mommy, a bald headed firefighter man with a mustache came to school today. He was not cute. Anyways. I told him that MY STEPDAD is a CAPTAIN in Kentucky. And he said THAT WAS CAHRAZYYYY”
-my 6 yr old the second I pick her up
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22 graduated from college today and specifically asked me to be there so I moved mountains to make that happen and when she asked to take a picture with just me I almost cried, it’s fine
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He’s obviously still going to be in their lives, that’s important. Our schedule doesn’t change…. The amount of control he has over me does.
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My ex stopping by my work after picking up our daughter on her last day of school to show me her EOY award was so sweet
He even went out of his way to show me the huge ass engagement ring/wedding band that he’s gonna give to his gf of 8 mo tomorrow
Love that for the kids 🥰
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The child (angrily) chose Option 2 and the Dad calmly just said okay, we are going to talk about what we can do differently the entire drive home.
Then they left.
I want to hire him to be... my child's Dad. Sir?
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*Talking to my birth father for the first time in months*
Him: You still with that firefighter boy?
Me: He’s not really a boy, he’s almost 45,l
Him: JEEZ I am 54!!! That’s so weird!
You are only 27…
Me: Nope, that’s (my sister)
Him: 30?
Me: Missed a few bdays huh
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@ the park -- a Dad just calmly gave his child 2 options, after the child was mean to another child, option 1-to apologize, recognize that what he did was wrong and move on or option 2-to not apologize, go directly home and lose park privileges.....
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I’m sorry but I don’t care if you are my child’s teacher, my server, checking me out at TJ Maxx, if you are having a bad day personally and need a minute… baby, you take a minute. My needs can wait. How can I help?
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6 yr old just called my bf (@ the firehouse) to read him a book and while she was reading, my bf’s Sergeant said something really loud (& she’s a woman)… my 6 yr old stopped what she was doing dead ass and said
“Are you with a girlllllllllll”
So she has my back😂😂😆
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Gosh I wasn’t trying to upset anyone by my post about my ex. Believe it or not, finding out that your husband was cheating from the verrrry beginning of your seemingly happy marriage, even after your marriage ended, isn’t fun. ❤️
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How am I supposed to feel when I find out that the father of my children *who has not spoken to them in 6 days/has seen them 2 nights out of 28 days* is coaching his gf’s kids’ sports teams??? Because I’m trying to be cool but it feels a lot like how my dad picked a new family🥲
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9 years ago today, I had a d&c to remove a baby that had stopped living at 18 weeks. We named that baby Michael.
Fast forward 9 years… The love of my life’s name is Michael.
Whoa.
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7 years ago today, I found out about my (ex) husband’s affair/gf of months while I was 17 weeks pregnant with our daughter and a SAHM to our 1 year old son. 7 years ago today, I sincerely changed forever.
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My bf just asked me what my eta to his house is bc “it’s like Santa Clause, I’m so excited!” He’s 42 and we are on our second serious relationship/marriage; There were times I thought I’d never be happy again. Now I have a man who gets visibly excited to spend time w/ me. 😭💕
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Sex is great but have you ever disagreed on a subject, thoroughly communicated about it, understood both sides and moved forward in a way that validated both of your positions??????
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Just in a ✨constant✨ state of I’m never going to get this right. Not my job. Not parenting. Not my relationships. Just always two steps short of something, ya know
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M’s ex wife is a TOP level exec for an international marketing firm and she told me to call her when I finish my program and start looking at jobs🥹🥹 Everything is a networking opportunity, she’s seen me handle more awkward social situations than the average person😂
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My bf and I have been together for almost 4 years, the last 2.5 weeks we haven’t seen each other (he’s a firefighter who’s been working OT) we are about to go on a 10 day trip and I feel like a teeeeenager. I miss him. Can’t wait to kiss him. Can’t wait to look at him. 🫣🥰🥰🥰
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M very seriously at dinner tonight: “I know we joke a lot about getting married but I’d like to have a grown up discussion about it.”
*continues to unload questions about merging finances, who would pay for what, if he would be allowed to keep his stuff etc
Am I engaged
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I think it’s crazy that some people can see without glasses/contacts. Like, you just wake up and open your eyes and you can see??? You can drive at night without all the lights blurring together???? wild
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M’s at the firehouse today (& it’s my birthday) I woke up to flowers and two handmade (& laminated😂) gift certificates. 1 for a romantic dinner eventually when we can swing that and 2 for a FULL ass expenses paid vacation after Christmas🥹
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My 6 year old holding my hand in the back of an ambulance going “Mama, are we going to be okay?” is now burned in my brain
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I don’t want to be the bigger person all of the time. There I SAID IT.
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in 2018
Me: No one will ever love me & my kids
in 2021
My bf: hey I am gonna pay X to work my firehouse shift Saturday so I can come to 6’s dance performance, is 7 still selling mums for school? *Also calls just to talk to 6 about what happened at school today*
Me:
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Hey, divorced friends. You ever be like sitting in silence and then all of a sudden just start crying because you’re mad that your vision of marriage/a family was ripped from you and now you’ll never have the family you wanted even though you’re happy????? Ok thanks
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I can take 1000 hits but the 1 time I react, I’m the asshole ☺️
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Next time someone has a panic attack, make sure you let them know that they’re too old to be doing things like that ✍️
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Admittedly, I need a lil more reassurance than I’d like to need sometimes.
I need spontaneous “I love you’s”
or “How did I get so lucky to be with you’s?”
or the hand on my leg when we are surrounded by ppl bc damnit I need to be close to you.
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I download and delete dating apps all the time. I download them because I’m like okay, let’s do this. I delete them because HOLY SHIT IS THIS REALLY ALL WE HAVE TO WORK WITH
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3 yr old: “Poop.”
Me: “Hey, don’t say that.”
3 yr old: “Okay, Mommy. Shit.”
Me:
Her:
Me: “Not that either.”
Her: “Okay, Mommy.”
Her: “Damnit.”
Me:
Her:
Me: “You can say poop. Well played.”
I have created myself in smaller form.
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My ex created an entirely fictional human to portray-who I fell in love with. Love bombed me, proposed within 2 months, got me pregnant and then acted like he hated me for 3 years after he cheated on me and it was my fault bc I fell for the guy he pretended to be-not his fault
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Shoutout to all the parents that got woken up at 4:30 am to open presents. May your coffee be stronger than all the packaging today. Godspeed.
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I committed to running (at least) 1 mile a day in 2020 which sounded like an awesome idea... yesterday. 🙃
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🐳 he officially did it, guess my kids are getting their first step mom after being told they were getting one 4 or 5 or 10 different times 🥰🥰🥰
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My ex just called and blamed me for his parents being mad at him because he *didn’t come to the hospital after his 6 yr old was transported via ambulance* because I…. never invited him
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So. Apparently, people kept calling me “M’s future wife” yesterday & that must’ve annoyed drunk me (bc he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to get married) so I would correct them and say I’m no one’s future wife but I do sleep with “that guy”
I hate myself I’m sleeping all day
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I saw somewhere that..
If you feel like you hate everyone, eat something
If you feel like everyone hates you, go to sleep
If you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower
& If you feel like everyone hates everyone, go outside
So I’m going to sleep🥰
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Get you somebody who thinks time with you IS the gift. I’ve experienced more with my boyfriend in 10 months than I did with my ex husband of 8 years. 🐸☕️
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Let me just shout at the top of the rooftops a HUGE THANK YOU to
@lovingpajamas
who helped me every step of the way and physically drew up papers for me! Love you so much.
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I drink a ton of water after sex. So, goals for 2020. Have more sex. Drink more water. 🤷🏼♀️
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M: You should get your nails done!
Me: nah I like them for 4 days and then I need a change, plus no one looks at my hands
M: I promise you every eligible bachelor between the ages of 35 and 50 looks at your hand
Me: ???? 35 to 50 ???? Don’t put baby in a corner
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My man’s renovation work is published in a magazine, nbd😍
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Raise your hand if you’ve ever gotten into an irrelevant argument with your significant other bc you love them so much and you’re scared they don’t love you as much as you love them. WTFISWRONGWITHME
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WHY does it hurt?😂🙃 Like you could not pay me enough money to be with him
But why couldn’t he love me, the mother of his children, the way he loves this person????
I tried so hard.
I tried.
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I’m crying bc 17 had her senior prom today, not only did I go to pics at the big house with all her friend//friends parents since my bf was on duty but her mom (my bf’s ex wife) also asked me to go to drinks afterwards and this is the level of coparenting I’ve always dreamed of🥹
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I don’t like the ppl that have to call me out in public bc I’m disciplining my child.
“Don’t be so hard on her, you know one day they’re going to leave your house.”
K thank you Robert but I’m not gonna let her run into traffic
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Who’da thunk a date with a 41 year old that I was ✨convinced✨ was going to be a flash in the pan in February of 2019 would lead to the most love I’ve ever felt and biggest decisions of my life? Not me, definitely not the waitress who thought he was my dad, but also not me.
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Well M must read my tweets bc last night he iniiiitiated some of my favorite spicy things outside, on the deck, with fireworks going off around us. It was… a night I’ll replay for some time.🥰 🎆
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Then 16 asked to ride with me and she says that she did (something sweet) for her bf’s mom and says “I think you’re starting to rub off on me, I thought how it was something you would do so I did it”
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I read yesterday that Easy on Me was written by Adele to explain her divorce to her son and now I will cry every single time it plays, thank you
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me, arriving to people I don't know with my boyfriend's daughter: "oh hi, this is my... stepdaughter"
me to 17 after they walked away: "I'm sorry I called you my stepdaughter, it just came out"
17 year old: "Am.... I.... not??? Your stepdaughter? I thought I was."
me:
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I’m secretly going back to college and when I’m done, I’ll have a Bachelors AND a Masters 👀 and I’m only talking about it here til I complete sooooooo enjoy the stressed anxious excited chaotic energy from me for the next 2.5 years love youuuuuuuuuuu
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Guys, this is the kind of “social media” post that your lady wants. Doesn’t need to be 3 paragraphs on why she lights you up. 5 undeniable words. Do it, lmk how it goes.
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My (ex) in laws asked to see the kids today bc their son never spends time with them and I’m ALL FOR IT! I’ll pick them up tomorrow, bye 😂 Jk but my ex’s mom has vaginal cancer and I think she should get as much time as possible with her grand babies.
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Avoiding eye contact in the hotel hallway with our neighbors after we heard them fight allllll night long and they heard us have sex allllll night long like
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@hotnutbar
@fuzzymittens
I thought I was nice🤣 We are good, just surprised to learn of these. Thought I’d share with my pocket friends. 🥰
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when you’re in a big group and you’re looking around for your significant other and you finally see them, and they are looking at you and smiling🥰
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I can’t, like, sip water. I’m either never drinking water or guzzling it down like I just ran 67 miles. Idk, it’s a flaw.
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