I hate when girls post pictures with their boyfriends and say,
“What more could I ask for? ☺️”
Like...
You could ask for equal pay.
You could do that.
That’s what you could do.
Equal pay, Becky.
I miss the days when I used to worry about fake, socially constructed pressures like the thigh gap and my weight.
Now, I worry about real things like the wage gap and the weight of my life choices.
I saw someome with a K-State shirt on in Wisconsin so naturally I freaked out and screamed “Go Cats! Go Cats!” at him and turns out he just shops at thrift stores and thinks I do not F with a single dog.
Don’t forget to celebrate one of the most important mothers of all today: Mother Nature!!!
I asked her how she was doing a bit ago and she said
“Hahahaah!!! I’m dying!!”
She is kooky! Love that gal!
Today, someone told me that you’re supposed to match your lipstick color to the color of your nipples in order to find your true shade but like neon green lipstick is really hard to find guys.
Picture this:
I was at the bank.
Evanescence was playing,
...at full blast.
It raised. The. Stakes.
I took out 10 more dollars than I had originally intended.
Wake.
Me.
Up.
Inside.
Any1 feel like when they r waiting @ a cross walk every1 drivin by is watching u? So u have 2, like, put on a show? U pretend to listen 2 music & look at your phone & slowly unbutton ur kilt & pull out ur bag pipes & dance 2 the song of ur ppl while taking shots of whiskey..Ugh.
*feels sick for 5 seconds*
Me: wow this is it. My time has come. It’s finally come my way. It’s always been a matter of time. Here we go.
My thermometer: 97.8 you dramatic little bitch ass whore
You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need too much lineback to contrast bee.
I was kicking a rock on a walk today and I kicked it too far and it landed in front of a woman and we made eye contact and I waited for her to kick it back but she didn’t :( I hope she sees this.
I saw this girl passed out in her driveway in a swim suit and I was like omfg this girl like had a heart attack on her way to the pool and I was getting ready to call 911 but then she got up and that’s when I realized she was just fucking sun tanning.
If people don’t want to be touched, you should no 👏🏻longer 👏🏻touch 👏🏻 them. And if people want a ballon, you should 👏🏻 go 👏🏻 get 👏🏻 them 👏🏻 one 👏🏻 it’s called RESPECTTT