Olivia Carter
@carter_ogcarter
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Following
110
Media
144
Statuses
781
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I hate when girls post pictures with their boyfriends and say,
“What more could I ask for? ☺️”
Like...
You could ask for equal pay.
You could do that.
That’s what you could do.
Equal pay, Becky.
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I got my family a blanket with my face on it for Christmas. You're welcome.
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I miss the days when I used to worry about fake, socially constructed pressures like the thigh gap and my weight.
Now, I worry about real things like the wage gap and the weight of my life choices.
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I saw someome with a K-State shirt on in Wisconsin so naturally I freaked out and screamed “Go Cats! Go Cats!” at him and turns out he just shops at thrift stores and thinks I do not F with a single dog.
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Don’t forget to celebrate one of the most important mothers of all today: Mother Nature!!!
I asked her how she was doing a bit ago and she said
“Hahahaah!!! I’m dying!!”
She is kooky! Love that gal!
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Today, someone told me that you’re supposed to match your lipstick color to the color of your nipples in order to find your true shade but like neon green lipstick is really hard to find guys.
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Ok, so I know that money can’t solve all your problems,
but like...
money would solve almost all of my problems.
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A girl behind me at a concert was grinding on a guy and called him daddy
I've thought about it
And I don't think that man... was her father.
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Picture this:
I was at the bank.
Evanescence was playing,
...at full blast.
It raised. The. Stakes.
I took out 10 more dollars than I had originally intended.
Wake.
Me.
Up.
Inside.
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Favorite this tweet if we’re friends so I know! Thanks!
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New year, same me. Because great things should never change.
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I accidentally had two contacts in one of my eyes yesterday and while it was uncomfortable,
it was kind of cool to be able to see through walls.
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Who needs graduation cords when you have an aux cord? Am I right!?!
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It's always uncomfortable having to tell a customer their total is 9.11
"That will be Bush did it. Cash or card?"
So awk
Never gets easier
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Imagine how awkward it would be if I showed up to every grad party I was invited to on Facebook.
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My brother was laughing at a sheet of paper & then sat down & I asked what it was & he just looked up, smiled, and said, "ur bank statement"
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Not to be dramatic or anything, but if I don’t eat a vegetable soon I’ll probably die.
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Shout out to my brother the king!!! Way to make the family proud 👑
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Where is this room with all the pink balloons people keep taking pictures with?
Is it heaven?... It’s heaven isn’t it.
Y’all dead?
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Any1 feel like when they r waiting @ a cross walk every1 drivin by is watching u? So u have 2, like, put on a show? U pretend to listen 2 music & look at your phone & slowly unbutton ur kilt & pull out ur bag pipes & dance 2 the song of ur ppl while taking shots of whiskey..Ugh.
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I think about this everyday
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*feels sick for 5 seconds*
Me: wow this is it. My time has come. It’s finally come my way. It’s always been a matter of time. Here we go.
My thermometer: 97.8 you dramatic little bitch ass whore
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Stop worrying about what guys think about you and go plant a tree ladies
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Shout out to
@William31092831
who a marathon.
Holy crap.
U ran 26.2 miles.
You're the better twin.
Hands down.
Go forth and prosper.
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This weirdo with the pineapple was accepted into Stanford today. She rocks. She works so hard. I love her. Go Gracie
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You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need to touch my lower back to get past me.
You don’t need too much lineback to contrast bee.
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Me, happily wearing a variation of the same outfit,
every
single
day.
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If they don’t sell it at the Manhattan Walmart...
You don’t need it.
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Alright, I've done my time. Ready to be reincarnated as a dog.
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Boy are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet because I'm not really feelin you right now, but I see you over there doin you and I respect dat.
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So many people are committing to colleges and I can't even commit to a sports bra or a wired bra in the morning...
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@cstrickswimkid
thank you for all of your corrective criticism today! We will keep it in mind when reviewing your tiger tv application!
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I was kicking a rock on a walk today and I kicked it too far and it landed in front of a woman and we made eye contact and I waited for her to kick it back but she didn’t :( I hope she sees this.
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Congrats
@William31092831
for getting accepted to George Mason's honor college and getting a scholarship!!!! Love ya brother, you deserve it
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If Jesus can rise from the dead, I can rise from my bed and do my math homework.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
http://t.co/k1Bki77Qno
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I saw this girl passed out in her driveway in a swim suit and I was like omfg this girl like had a heart attack on her way to the pool and I was getting ready to call 911 but then she got up and that’s when I realized she was just fucking sun tanning.
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How DARE I be blamed for my own mistakes that’s ubsured.
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For dress like your date day, should I go to school naked because my date is nonexistent?
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Date a man who’s not this guy 😩😩😩
Date the girl who doesn’t wear any makeup to the lake and gets her hair wet
thank me later
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I had my backpack on upside down this morning... how did I.. how do you...
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I SPELLED MY NAME WRONG ON A COLLEGE APPLICATION AND IT WON'T LET ME GO BACK AND FIX IT.
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If the Seahawks win we should have a snow day.
If the Patriots win we should have a snow day.
If somebody wins we should have a snow day.
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Dear person that dented my car,
That wasn't nice. She's my best friend. That's like me coming up to your best friend and biting off her arm.
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I can walk in a straight line and I am also really good at ordering in a drive-through.
Get you a girl who can do more than just look cute.
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i thought this old man was naked at the gym but alas he was just in full khaki
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There is nothing I want to be able to do more than text my dog. Nothing.
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When society's unrealistic standards of beauty push my eye brows to the limits.
http://t.co/8dY2hxmJOV
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When. Life. Gets. Tough. Go. On. Twitter. And. Pretend. It's. Not. Happening.
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Sometimes I'm fine and doing okay and then I remember that Dr. Derek Shepherd is dead and I have to take a breather for a sec
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Just thought you might want this on your timeline during the holiday season!
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If people don’t want to be touched, you should no 👏🏻longer 👏🏻touch 👏🏻 them. And if people want a ballon, you should 👏🏻 go 👏🏻 get 👏🏻 them 👏🏻 one 👏🏻 it’s called RESPECTTT
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*walks into a Bank and makes herself complimentary coffee*
*she pretends to use the ATM*
*she leave*
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If Blue Valley students work together and make a vow not to go to school tomorrow... No one can stop us. United will stand .
#fightthepower
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BV crushes didn't tweet my submission about me having a crush on myself and I am actually really sad about it
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I screamed "I'M NAKED" and my roomate looked. In love with me??? I think so.
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Does anyone else think... do u agree that this looks like.... I just feel like it lightly resembles a... no... does it?
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Hahah, stop asking me what I am doing with my life. Hahaha, no for real. Hahaha, I have no idea. Haha, someone shoot me. Haha, life's hard.
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I just want to take a moment and give a shout out to my eyes for always looking out for me
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Please stop telling women to calm down for reacting normally to a situation ! ! ! Thanks ! ! !
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The Austin twins were amazing in 42nd street!!! Good job Genevieve and Geena ❤️
http://t.co/MVq1vyQi8j
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I just wanna give a shout out to my followers because you guys CHOOSE to have my thoughts appear on your timeline and that really says a lot
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If anyone talks crap about Tiger Tv today, I will make sure to give you an interview in the next show with the worst lighting I can find.
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*gets 33 on reading section of ACT*
Wow, that's really good. I'm a smart person. Wow.
*gets 16 on math*
....anddddddd I hate myself.
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