Carrie Wittmer 👻
@carriesnotscary
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writer for hire, wife of Grimace. bylines: @lofficielusa, @vulture, @GQMagazine, @thecut, @ringer, @wmag
Brooklyn, NY
Joined March 2009
imagine showing this diva the sharks in gladiator ii
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kendrick lamar bootcuts he was kinda giving tom ford for gucci a/w 1995
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think it’s safe to confirm that the hair plug operators in turkey are eagles fans
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i am so inspired by the return of being a hater. my blood hasn't pumped like this since lindsay lohan crashed the cheaper by the dozen premiere to get back at hilary duff for crashing the freaky friday premiere
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time to be real on this platform. i did watch 20 mins of the chiefs christmas movie starring joey king’s sister and i regret it every day
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she will be remembered in many history books and on even more podcasts... rip queen
'Survivor' Jonny Fairplay Grandmother Dead at 90, For Real This Time | Click to read more 👇
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opened several emails that said “happy critics choice!”
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every time i see a post about innies and outies and i’m like oh no is there bellybutton discourse now
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they literally let anyone (except me) be a critic these days
Congratulations to John M. Chu, winner of the Critics Choice Award for Best Director. #CriticsChoice #CriticsChoiceAwards #Wicked
@eentertainment
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cardinal lawrence respectfully declines popular
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a stranger asked me for a cigarette i am so fucking back
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GET TIMOTHEE HAL CHALAMET THERE IMMEDIATELY
Bradley Cooper is here in New Orleans making cheesesteaks and handing them out to Eagles fans @SportsRadioWIP
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read this as “discovered near Clairo”
The mummy tomb that had been sealed for 2,500 years, discovered near Cairo
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