cargopants (trying his best at recovery)
@carpetcactus
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Certified gender freak | diary account | 19 years old | he/him | 🏳️⚧️
Joined May 2023
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say it with me now
self harm severity does not equal amount of mental pain you are in
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shtwt member: i wanna slit my wrist and bleed out and die a terrible and awful horrendous death
Nancy: ░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
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I said this in a tweet reply but I think it deserves its own tweet
don’t ever feel bad for getting help
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semi face reveal
your eyebrows can fall out from sh please retweet
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My twitter feed is either someone’s arm completely sliced open or cute cats
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cuts myself: ow ow OOoooOwie
it heals: I kinda wanna do it again maybe it won’t hurt this time
cuts myself: ow ow OOoooOwie
it heals: I kinda wanna do it again maybe it won’t hurt this time
cuts myself: ow ow OOoooOwie
it heals: I kinda wanna do it again maybe …….
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ITS OFFICIAL I HAVE DECIDED TO RECOVER I privated my pic account
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My head hurts dude why do people cut themselves I don’t get it
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the reality of being “good” at sh
mom: your childhood best friend just spent over a year putting together her portfolio and she got into her top university in the states!
guess what boys I can hit laffy taffy 😎
(I realize no one cares and I have no talent)
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I JUST GOT CATARACT SURGERY J CAN SEE AGAIN
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If you deleted twitter you would probably be the deepest cutter around
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LMAOOO I posted a pic of my sh and this person commented “nasty asf” and I replied with a photo of a prolapsed anus AND THEY BLOCKED ME I CANT BREATHE ITS SO FUNNY
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Over the past 2 years I’ve gone from self harming 3 times a week to maybe self harming once a week and my eyebrows are coming back :)))
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the binding over chest wound plan worked it’s not too uncomfortable I hope I can still breathe by the end of the school day will update BUT DAMN LOOK AT ME I FEEL SO CUTE AT SNAZZY
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I just remember a funny comment on my sh pic post
“wow what a thick hypodermis!”
girl that’s the most unique way of calling someone fat
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I hate sh videos of people accidentally going to deep 😭 like I can watch it fine if it’s obvious the person meant to do it on purpose but like
You know when you hear them gasp afterwords
💔💔💔
I feel the pain on my own arms
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My mom snuck my phone into the ward she is a boss
Also I told her I’m into women and she was like ok cool and now idk what to feel because my whole life I thought she hated gays and now I have this cognitive dissonance going on
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I had one nurse that just dressed the wound in silence and at the end of the appointment she just said can I give you a hug and then we hugged
The best wound care appointment I ever had
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I’m the longest sh free I have been since starting sh
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the plastic surgeon said I can probably still get top surgery and he is reaching out to the gender identity clinic and we have a follow up appointment :DDD
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I blocked this person because they clearly don’t know the first thing about self harm and mental illness
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why am I lowkey pissed off at people who don’t keep up with my lore
“where are her nipples?”
girl are you new here
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why do hospital people ask “are you gonna cut yourself again when you go home”
like ok I have been cutting myself constantly for 6 years and you can see that by the scars all over my body but this overnight stay at the ER has cured me and I will not be cutting myself ever again
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I swear sh also has a honeymoon phase where you get so much ecstasy constantly going deeper and you are so delusional and happy about it before the consequences really catch up to you
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I don’t want to commit suicide but I want to die
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Why do people make fun of other people for cutting dermis-epidermis like didn’t we all start that way
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IM NOT DEAD I GOT INVOLUNTARILY WARDED
they took my phone I didn’t have time to announce it
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not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
not cutting saves money
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lmao sh struggles
does anyone else get insecure that their bandages are too dramatic for the cut
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my moms like stop cutting yourself you’re stressing me out
ok girl sorry jeez
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😭😭😭 that’s a bit rude don’t you think
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my moms so cute when she’s excited to celebrate clean milestones with me she’s like “omg are we celebrating 2 weeks yet?”
“girl no we’re at 8 days”
“you said you were at 7 days forever ago!”
“that was yesterday mom”
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Dysmorphia and dysphoria at an all time low. I feel good about how I look. I feel good about life in general. I have a feeling things are gonna be okay. Actually, they’re gonna be more than okay. They’re going to be amazing 💪💕🎉
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Dear god if you heal my pussy cut right now immediately I will never ever cut myself ever again pretty please I promise
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MY MOM CALLED ME HER SON 🙆♂️🙆♂️🙆♂️
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self harm makes no sense, the reasons I sh don’t need to make sense either
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So I had to get stitches and everyone saw the fart on my leg
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guysssss I cut myself and it hurt like wtf ???
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HELP I POSTED THIS ONTO THE WRONG ACCOUNT
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confession I lie and say some of my wrist scars are suicide attempts because that’s easier to explain to normal people than non suicidal self injury
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brain: you should cut yourself
me: ok
brain: ow wtf why are you cutting yourself?
me: ok I’ll stop
brain: haha lmao not deep enough
me:
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Omg I just realized there’s blood spray on my wall now I can see idk how long that’s been there or how many people saw it DD:
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Hospital staff be so annoying sometimes
“are these burns?”
“no they are skinnings”
“they look like burns are you sure they’re not burns”
bro wdym i just told you why would i lie about that
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Do you ever plan to like make a very big and deep cut but after the first swipe your brain is just like no thanks
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When I recently told social worker I felt my sh was escalating and I felt unsafe in my own home she looked me dead serious in the eyes and asked if I ever heard of the rubber band method
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Nothing is more humiliating than going to the ER and getting “oh hey it’s you again” from all the staff and doctors
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girl why couldn’t i just relapse normally i just HAD to do it on my pussy
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Nurse interaction
Her: beware of your nipples
Me: what do you mean
Her: like don’t get them hurt by accident
Me: if I were in an accident I wouldn’t be worried about my nipples
Her: don’t cut your nipples
Me: why would I do that
Her: nipples are just sensitive ok don’t do it
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details: no one informed me that sh can lead to anemia so I had critically low blood levels for a few MONTHS and since it went unnoticed for so long my hair started falling out
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I hate how obsessed I am with sh I’m pretty sure many of you can relate but I love scrolling through peoples entire sh pic archive history and familiarizing myself with it
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I genuinely believe this person wasn’t trying to be malicious but they just ruined my whole entire month like use your brain before you speak
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I blurred the words because they are kind of personal but here is a self portrait representing my overthinking
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yOur cUt looks likE a vAginA
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I think too many people think being clean/not self harming = this person is doing good mentally, because not cutting myself feels terrible and it reinforces the fact that cutting myself makes my feelings valid
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GUYS LOOK WHAT MY BRO GOT ME FOR MY BDAY
gender affirming gear
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bittersweet moment with my mom: I was talking about getting tubbs tattooed and me and my mom were looking at my legs for spaces until she suddenly started crying and she said “you have so many scars that there’s no space for the fat cat”
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Vision loss has gotten to the point that I probably can’t clean up after sh sessions. Gonna try not to sh for now but it’s really hard to cope with this. I don’t want my mom to find me in a pile of my own blood so I will try my best
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In case bookmarks ever go public I’m just gonna expose myself and say I have a bunch of gay porn bookmarked
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You know when you hit a nerve and feel the shock of lighting pain and then you dress the cut and then when you take the dressing off it feels like hitting the nerve all over again
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I deleted all the sh pics off this account
I left 1 scar pic I like
But besides that it’s all gone ✨💕
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me: WHY CANT MY CUTS SCAR BIGGER
new cut: scars bigger: limits my mobility
me:
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The mentally ill urge to be the mentally illest of them all
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it’s so annoying when you say like
“don’t cut deeper it will ruin your life and all your relationships, it will cause serious health complications”
And so some bitch be like
“🥰✨I want to ruin my life and all my relationships✨🥰”
“What if I want infections 🤪😜”
stfu.
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as a man, having sex with a woman is so girly and pink and unmanly and actually quite gay, but sex with another man is pure manly testosterone and the straightest thing you can do
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can mental healthy professionals understand that just because I cut myself doesn’t mean I hate myself
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tbh if you sh more severely I think you have a bigger responsibility over how you post your pics because I definitely look at a lot of yall and think if they can do that and not die I can do it too and I assume a lot of people think that way towards me
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if anyone is in my telegram you will know I relapsed like very badly a few days ago and I was almost gonna give up an recovery but no I will be picking up the pieces and trying again. Life can be more than this and I deserve to be happy.
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me: hm I don’t really feel like cutting today
brain: YOURE NOT MENTALLY ILL ANYMORE YOU FAKER ATTENTION SEEKER LMAOOOO
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my mom says I can only transition if it makes me cut less bruh IDK IF IT WILL
IT MIGHT, IT MIGHY NOT
I would just rather pathetically rot in bed as a boy than as a girl
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