The death of the impossibly old farmer. Every word is true.

@camiknickers OR A MERKIN?

@JonnyCappuccino Australian. *winks

I just realised that I am back on Twitter. FOR ONE DAY ONLY!!! GET IT WHILE IT LASTS! Only ONE DOUBLOON!!!!

I am in the most united of kingdoms for ONE DAY ONLY. I just bought myself a black pudding scotch egg because I’m worth it.

@camiknickers What an absolute fucking cunt. But happy birthday!

@camiknickers Or socks?

@mostly_grumpy I AM MARVELOUS AREN’T I?

@dancullenshute I have written a FILM TELLING ALL ABOUT IT. (Of course I fucking have.)

@dancullenshute Just WAIT for the DNA report.

Ok. Bye x 😢

Christ. What. A. Cunt. X

On threads: thebenhomewood. See you on the other side. X

@reigatecurry Hans grohe.

@22CaratEwok @thebrunette24 Do they have a Twitter account? Do they own a nice barn? If so. Maybe I could help? No reason.