Houthi and the Blowfish
@canderaid
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not mad, actually im laughing rn.
Fort George G Meade, MD
Joined August 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Imagine some guy being like “I’m the hamburger journalist and if you want to run a burger joint in this city you’ve gotta spend an hour a day answering my questions about whether you like to fuck your mom.” That’s basically what hill reporters are in 2021.
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very real problem for WWII re-enactment is that somebody's gotta play the role of the Germans but you don't want the people who *want* to play the Germans
Weird how the Waffen-SS constituted no more than 7% of the German Army in WWII but seems to make up about 85% of the reenactors at your event.
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Biden gave 5.6% of the defence budget to Ukraine, and what did he get for it? Other than the complete internal collapse of America’s greatest and longest running geopolitical enemy, I mean
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Every libertarian on here would join the Gestapo in exchange for a $1 drop in gas prices
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“Goes to jail for showing military secrets to Kid Rock” was in retrospect always a very possible outcome of Trump running for President
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genetic memories inherited from previous hosts of the worm
NEW: RFK Jr. may have made up a wild story about being ambushed by Indigenous people in a bow-and-arrow attack, and retaliating by throwing a stick of dynamite at them
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european environmentalist in a post-orgasmic afterglow after dooming a small south pacific country to sink beneath the waves
Sex is good but have you tried having your country shutting down its last nuclear power plants in 30 mn?
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Putin: “ɪᴛ ɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴsᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ɢʟᴏʀɪᴏᴜs ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛᴏʀs ᴀɴᴅ sᴄᴜᴍ”
DSA: “Guys he feels REALLY anxious about NATO expansion”
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34 yo man (voice cracking): “Are you deadass eating a pint of ice cream before this debate?”
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Is there a single architectural project in the past decade that has paid off like the Las Vegas Sphere has
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McDonalds is so unhealthy that if you ate 160 meals there in the course of a weekend you’d gain some weight
I've planned a bike route that goes past all the
@McDonalds
restaurants I can find in London - some 160 of them.
It's 466km long and will take me a weekend to ride. I'll burn about 15,000 calories doing it.
If I ate a Big Mac meal at every restaurant I went past, I'd consume
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BREAKING: Polish troops report pale, overweight man furtively glancing through fences near local military base, possibly part of Russian psychological warfare program to exploit local folklore legend of the ‘Hwrocvas’ (Butter Goblin)
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I'm totally down to be the guy who pretends to be a malnurished Bavarian peasant who only enlisted because they said his poor papa would get a pension if he died but lets be honest, it's me and like three other (extremely autistic) guys
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insane how the GOP was like "well lets see how YOU like it when immigrants come to your state, libs" and then the libs did an irl inspirational oscarbait movie about coming together to embrace diversity
Migrants and local high school AP Spanish students, who have been dismissed from school to help interpret, play a ball game in the Parish House parking lot to pass the time.
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Fetterman is being very careful to avoid bringing up Dr Oz’s Turkish citizenship and military service because if he does it could create a left twitter debate over whether Turks are white, a discourse that would surely destroy this website forever
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I feel like Biden has done absolutely nothing for me. Sure he's reversed the Muslim ban but I'm not Muslim. And the trans military ban, but i'm not trans. He banned federal use of private prisons, but I'm not a prisoner. His COVID bill will give Americans $1,400, but I'm Canadian
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all the zoomers on here saying the early 2000s were so good: here's what was considered 'comedy' during the early 2000s
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Whatever Tik Tok did to the recommendation algorithm to filter out Tiananmen Square really paid off
Can we just imagine if China or Russia had snipers on roofs pointing at 19 year old protestors?
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bluecheck: "Maryam was only 15 when the Israelis put her in jail 💔"
community note: Maryam stabbed 5 people at a kindergarten
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Every persian egirl posting about how the Iranian protesters are westernized sluts is 2 years away from an arranged marriage designed to unite two dynasties of LA car dealerships
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this is honesty so adorable I can’t even be mad
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Elon Musk 2013: “My goal is to colonize mars in 10 years”
Elon Musk 2023: “Fixed a bug where the woke algorithm was failing to show people my epic tweets more often”
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if i were a billionaire i'd do a stalingrad re-enactment where all the germans are cross dressing women with severe eating disorders
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I see people on here comparing what happened at Columbia to Kent State. It’s even worse. True, nobody was injured at Columbia but arresting someone from an Ivy is at least twice as bad as shooting a state school student when you consider the relative prestige
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Guy in NYT office pushing a lever that switches from “Shoppers suffering under Biden” to “Farmers suffering under Biden”
Grocery Prices That Are Now In Outright Deflation*
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Her smile slowly disappears as she realizes I have no interest in niche reactionary politics and this conversation is going to be a 3 hour lecture on the Battle of Verdun
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Michael Tracey has fallen victim to a Russian honeypot operation. Numerous CIA agents are currently attempting to free him from the pot of honey but he got himself wedged in there really good
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Maggie Haberman: I watched Trump stab a child to death once. It was a little disturbing but I knew if I called the police I would be failing in my duty as a reporter
literally all her coworkers: Maggie you are So Brave
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Bob Menendez is being prosecuted at the very moment America needs back-room connections with Egypt the most
WATCH LIVE: Sen. Menendez to deliver remarks on the Israel-Hamas War
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lol. lmao
SCOOP: Some Arab Americans have given up on Biden, want to vote for Trump and even met with one of his former ambassadors. They left dissatisfied, however.
My midnight offering for
@NOTUSreports
😊
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Ah yes the real victims of WWII: the Japanese
People seem to love
#Oppenheimer
but I'll just say it: I was uncomfy watching yet another movie about tortured white male genius when the victims of the atrocities glossed over by the script—Japanese people, interned Japanese Americans, and Native Americans—had no voice.
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Democracy dies in our reporter’s forthcoming tell all book
Washington Post said it had the Alito flag story 3 years ago and chose not to publish
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@enteredgyname1
squad is lead by an persian guy who keeps asking me in broken german which horse is most likely to win the "master race"
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When a guy loses his virginity all his bitcoins explode out of his body like in a sonic game
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Do we really want, as President, a man who will disobey a direct order from the New York Times Editorial Board?
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never forget the time jordan uhl got outwitted by a guy who drinks his own piss
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I guess the offices of the congressman who proposed banning Palestinians from entering the United States were too much of a walk
Capitol police have been called to Bernie Sander’s office. It is looking increasingly like Pro-Palestine protestors calling for a ceasefire now will be arrested.
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low key one of the funniest images i've seen this year
Sam Bankman-Fried's direct messages with a journalist about "unethical shit" were shown to the jury, and an accounting professor testified that massive expenditures were made with customer funds.
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Never forget that we started at “Yes, liberals, this *is* what decolonization looks like” and only switched to “It’s all propaganda, Hamas would never do something like that” once the scale of public outrage became clear
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There was this awful show on Spike called ‘Deadliest Warrior’ where they’d pretend to have a ninja fight a Roman centurion or whatever to figure out who was more badass and HGTV should do one of those but for tradwives
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glenn greenwald isnt interested in leaks that dont prove him Right All Along, so the Intercept instead gave Reality Winner's leak to his buddy, who literally emailed it directly to the NSA
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uh it’s pretty simple Dems. you just gotta ensure that your voter base is optimally distributed across a set of arbitrary geographic boundaries so that you win regardless of which party gets the most votes. then you can have some human rights
One thing Democrats could try to avoid nights like this one is winning more elections. I know it's not a popular idea, but it might work.
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remember when Azerbaijan ethnically cleansed 140,000 Armenians and like 3 people on here posted about it
Israel did not exist until 73 years ago when they were a settler colony that took over Palestine and have been violently maintaining their position ever since. If you don’t know this history here is a good primer to get you started:
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casually admitting to “lose your medical license” level malpractice to own the zionists online
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the internet has destroyed so many people's brains
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“That Jew threw a bag of mice at me” is a Borat bit. It is something that would happen to Borat
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It was wild when Reagan gave everyone in the USA three doses of the AIDS vaccine for free
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the funniest thing about the "hillary killed ghadaffi to prevent the united states of africa" people is them looking at this guy and thinking "ahh yes, the future President of Africa"
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pro palestine activists treat palestinian militants like theyre ewoks from planet endor
People looked at these images and fully went with the story that resistance fighters with hand-stitched paragliders did this
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“Tiananmen style crackdown” lmao they arrested 30 people. the Panda Express of police repression
nypd is doing a tiananmen style crackdown in uptown and midtown while an NBA playoff game is happening like 500 meters away
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no way bernie could have lost for real with an electoral base like this
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Democrats spinning victory of Democrat as a victory for Democrats
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the funniest tweet of 2020 was posted on January 4th
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Weird how he was able to easily pass as being middle eastern despite us all having decided that Israelis are by definition white. Not going to interrogate that thought any further though
umm why did I just find out that the guy who plays Frenchy in The Boys isn’t even Arab or French. He’s Israeli, who served as a squad leader of an airborne infantry. It’s one of the many brigades that’s currently involved in carrying out the genocide that’s happening in Gaza.
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if u have 250,000 followers and no health insurance, at some point it’s u who fucked up. sorry dude
i might not have health insurance at the end of the year so it's nice to see kamala harris wearing timbs and joe biden dancing to despacito that's very reassuring
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@ted_pen
@bouledenerfs_
Putting down “Investing in mentors” in the hobbies section of my resume to make it clear to potential employers that I am an active serial killer
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Red triangle twitter when it turns out that a half dozen 60 year old fighter jets held together with store brand duct tape are not an effective defence against the largest and most well equipped military alliance on earth
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Not an expert but all the public statements he made about moving to Romania because it’s easier to get away with sex crimes there probably aren’t gonna help in court
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Heartwarming: The worst account you know on Twitter just revealed they’re British
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Susan Sarandon has been dropped by her talent agency UTA after being vocal about the ongoing genocide happening in Palestine at a pro-Palestinian rally.
(Source: Deadline)
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We trained a bot on over 50,000 Maggie Haberman tweets
As the hearing was just beginning tonight, a diner at a restaurant in upstate Rhinebeck, N.Y., was seated near Charlie Kushner, Jared Kushner's father, who put his son on the phone on speaker to say hello to the waitstaff.
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Trump assassinated Iran's most prominent general on a whim
Super cool of Biden to spend three years being quietly but meaningfully better on foreign policy than Trump or Obama, only to very suddenly and violently become significantly worse than either of them
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The Twitter left’s position on war crimes is nuanced. While in general it holds that only American war crimes are real, it is willing to concede that war crimes are also sometimes committed by Jewish people who are not American
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can you give some more background about the time britain invaded japan. like what was going on at the time
A brief explainer on why people might not like the British
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Horrified realizations that Tulsi Gabbard was pro Assad in a right wing way instead of a left wing way
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why does the left keep losing primaries? who can say
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(after the revolution, eating a pre-domestication banana cultivar that’s the size of a peanut and 50% seeds) fuck, I love this
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pulling out the skull callipers to help figure out where the Jews belong, in an antiracist way
It’s wild watching Zionists with blue eyes and blonde hair talk about how a country in the Middle East is their rightful homeland.
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America’s infrastructure is in such bad shape that its bridges can’t survive being struck by even a single 115,000 ton container ship. Dying empire, on hellworld
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"they just canceled my podcast" is a contender for five funniest words in the english language
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Under Biden, Black unemployment is at historic lows. But for one former The Hill employee and podcaster, it doesn’t feel that way.
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Briahna Joy Gray says she chose not to become a lawyer after graduating from Harvard Law, but maybe the real reason she isn't a lawyer is that she is extremely bad at arguing
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portrait of energy policy during the Obama administration
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you guys get anxiety from talking on the phone you arent killing shit
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It’s impossible to understand statements like this except in the context of a culture that views Jews as fundamentally subhuman
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*after eating literally half my weight in 48 hours* Man I don’t feel so good. Fast food is so bad for you
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Nancy Pelosi could stop the confirmation process in its tracks RIGHT NOW simply by asking the Governor General to prorogue Parliament until the next throne speech. She won't, because Dems are feckless and don't care about winning.
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Beginning to think this might not be exclusively about Palestinians’ right to self determination for some folks
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it's amazing that the (pre-)eulogies for christman all read like they could be for Alex Jones
Fans of Matt Christman know he's not just a comedian. He delivers spellbinding harangues on history and philosophy that culminate in wholly original religious epiphanies. He's a mad preacher, a scurrilous street prophet, unique & irreplaceable.
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one clue as to why america is not a socialist country is found in the reaction of american socialists to socialist policy
OMNY readers were smashed & cameras sabotaged at a midtown Manhattan subway station in protest against the surge of NYPD & National Guard in the subways & MTA’s use of surveillance tech on New Yorkers.
“Fuck your $2.90!” a statement from the anonymous assailants reads.
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The plan was to win in 2016 so the GOP didn’t get to pick 3 SCOTUS judges
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suing mcdonalds because I received one box containing 14 McNuggets and another containing 6, instead of the promised 20 McNuggets
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this detail from the Dugina assassination is haunting
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If I were a prestigious NYC-area media outlet, I would simply not hire people who work at the New York Post
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People think "anarchists don't call the cops" means you can join the scene to abuse partners without consequences by uttering the word "accountability", when in reality it means survivors can firebomb your house and if you touch the phone to call the cops, then it's really on.
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It’s amazing how two different satirical headlines can *both* be the least funny thing you’ve ever read
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Japanese version of ‘Oppenheimer’ where a Japanese admiral played by a weepy looking Irishman struggles with whether he did the right thing ordering his subordinates to rape and murder every civilian still alive in occupied Manila
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pence’s performance may not be impressing anyone on Twitter, but for many hardcore conservatives it’s a different story
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Hundreds of Hamas guys paragliding over the wall, overwhelming the Israeli army and then Mr Magoo-ing their way into killing hundreds of people at a music festival through a series of enormous misunderstandings
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Beginning to suspect Biden might not be the one with the diminished faculties here
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pray for the people suffering in this difficult time
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Politely reminding the family of Dominicans downstairs that New York is not their home and ultimately they are just visiting, in a left wing manner
My North Star being a transplant in New York has always been this:
"Treat this place like home but always remember this place isn't YOUR home."
Meaning I love and respect the city I'm in, but I remember that I'm still a visitor here and understand that as such.
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