it’s time for summer! ur not as excited as u thought u’d be… probably because you’re still fat. i mean u tried to restrict and work out but u got lazy and ate carelessly rotting in bed, so much wasted potential. well, what room are u waking up in?
u shovel down a handful of ur snack, noticing ur friend next to u so u compliment their outfit. they thank u as they chew slowly but u notice a sign of disgust slip out on their face as they watch u eat. u chew slower now, more mindfully like u should’ve months ago…
u look in the mirror and see ur bloated tummy. u forgot to drink water while eating and now it’s gonna be ages before it goes down! u regret eating it. u always regret eating it. in ur mind this is what u wish u could wear…
u can’t help but feel like a whale compared to ur skinny friends. ur stomach bulges out while theirs cave in, ur arms protrude while theirs are slender. u want to cry and hide but decide an activity would be better. u’ve already cried over ur weight so much
oh! looks like ur family’s calling u down for breakfast, u hesitate… u know ur showing ur body later and the food will definitely show. But ur just..so..hungry. u’ve already had a lifetime of breakfasts in the past months. u know the taste. but u go down anyway…
ur friends drive you home, you realise it’s now or never. u clean ur room, drink some water and decide to do some self care to get into a healthy mood. tomorrow u are going to try and finally succeed at achieving ur dream. so what do u do?
while eating ur food mindfully u look over to the neighbouring table and see someone, about ur age but about twice as heavy. they’re wolfing down their food like no tomorrow and u can’t help but feel disgusted. u don’t wanna be mean but u can tell their body is in pain…
u watch as all ur friends order salad or lighter foods, but ur aching tummy can’t stand being without greasy slop for more than a few hours. u gobble it down while everyone else talks, ur too busy to be part of the conversation. but u manage to pipe up and ask for dessert…
all that fun has worn u out! ur starving practically (well it’s not like u actually know what that feels like) but u suggest to go get food and thankfully everyone agrees. u find a fancy restaurant on the pier and order…
“GET UR FATASS DOWN HERE” looks like ur friends are outside! u know them calling u a fatass is a joke, they call themselves fat too, but it still hurts. u probably should’ve done something about that… but anyways what car are they in?
finally it’s summer vacay !! u wake up feeling light as a feather, all those hard months starving and working out have paid off. ur body is so slender and skinny and u should be very proud. so, which bedroom are u waking up in?
finally, u arrive at the hotel ! you try carry ur suitcase up to ur room but one of the workers sees u struggle and offers to bring it up for u. they’re kinda cute yknow… anyways, what does ur hotel room look like ?
it’s 4am ! u didn’t sleep out of excitement because ur going overseas, it’s ok tho, ur at ur ugw!!!! time to serve cunt in a land no one knows who u are and what u do, only how crazy good u look! so, where are u going?
ur in the car and ur having fun! everyone’s singing and talking and laughing and ur sitting there loudest one of all! u realise this and stay quiet for a bit… before ur friend pulls over to get snacks. what are u getting?
poem I wrote about my anarexia:
push push push
pushing my plate further
I clutch my stomach in pain
I just can’t do it..
I can’t. eat. the burger.
retweet if you relate🥀
wow ur outfits have definitely glowed up since you’ve slimmed down, wouldn’t u say that’s worth it? anyways, looks like ur family’s calling u down for breakfast. time to get ur energy in, food is fuel after all…
“yknow y/n, ur outfit is the cutest, you just look so good!” your friend says stuffing down a handful of haribos, u thank them and chew/sip slowly savouring the taste of ur snack…
smoking cigs is actually amazing except that one time i had too much nicotine i literally felt numb and almost passed out twice thinking i was about to die 😭
awesome ! the clothes fall onto u with ease. they don’t cling like they used to before, u feel like u can breathe against the fabric - no back rolls to see here! so, what do u order from the restaurant ?
and ur on ur way ! u speed past fields, houses and people, looking out the window as they’re gone in an instant. u sink into ur seat, your tiny frame curled up as u pick an artist u want to listen to…
“how bout some food? I’m starving” one of ur friends says, u wanna tell them that they don’t know what starving really is, u worked so hard for this. but u agree and find a cute restaurant on the pier. what do u eat?
finally the beach! u all get your bags and head down to the water, the sand is warm and the sky is bright, only good memories ahead! thank god u slimmed down because now you’ll feel confident showing off your skin