alan mustache
@boogerdiner
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i see you kids buying pre-rolled joints and now i understand the pain my grandpa felt when i told him i paid somebody to change my car’s oil
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i used to sell perc 30s to jd vance's mom and she was always talking about how much she hated her son
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i use cracker to refer to mainline protestants and honky to refer to baptists, catholics are papists
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@dopaminenjoyer
if your kid gets to high school and can't twist a spliff you've failed as a parent
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is it ableist to think a president's brain shouldn't be pudding
I'm telling y'all: so much of this is based in the unchecked ableism of this country. This has been an enormously successful presidency, but because the architect of it is an old man with a stutter and a raspy voice and a halting walk, we've decided he's unqualified. Bullshit.
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"kamala isn't the stepmom , she's the mom who stepped up" i say as the riot cops lob the first canisters of tear gas
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when i was in 7th grade i was hanging with my grandpa in his back yard when all of a sudden he leaned forward in his folding chair with a furrowed brow and said "boy, you gotta walk through this world like you got two dicks" and ive thought about it almost every day since
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people are being way too negative about this. gotta remember trump just lost two voters in a swing state
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democrats uniting to fight dementia because it's a progressive disease
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pan down homeboy let's see those nips
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you don't need a hydration vest for a three mile walk you need to delete tiktok. grow the fuck up
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"im very sorry we finally said something funny" - jack black
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my 🔮: the discussion about Kamala shutting down Palestine protestors at her rally is going to morph into a discourse about women being talked over
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putting on $600 of athletic gear for a slow walk around the block
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is honky a slur here now can i still call canadians snowbacks
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to give you a sense of how big our cat is, my wife is 5'7"
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the FBI has released a composite image of the Trump shooting suspect
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i don't ride hard to save the planet or impress people or lose weight. i do it because i stole this bike
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Call me crazy but the fact that one of the candidates was nearly killed less than two weeks ago should be a bigger deal and a bigger factor in the election than it seems to be now.
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centuries of inbreeding have produced history's least deadly assassin
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a really cool feature of this site is you can't see shit and nobody sees your stuff
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"parking meters make the world better" i love socdems man, great brains
theres a whole genre of account thats basically "i refuse to do a single thing to make the world better and thats left wing"
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just a couple more decades til space force vets get full VA disability from playing with their ding dongs for 20 years straight
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I'm going to kill myself
To the millennials out there, is this what it felt like when Obama won the nom
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help im being gangstalked by the consequences of my actions
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instead of watching the debate tonight im gonna have a relaxing evening dry fucking a mound of fire ants
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im old enough to remember when the cia was still good at this sorta thing
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riding bikes a lot gets you close to your community in a way driving doesn't and the push to find low traffic routes puts you into places you'd otherwise never pass through. been really hard to not notice the proliferation of tents over the past 18 months
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you know you had an impact on someone when they no interaction block you on a new account years after the fact
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fresh off the conveyer belt just like grandma used to make
I’m not saying Hershey’s stands up to properly good chocolate. I AM saying that the Hershey bars most of y’all have eaten are stale garbage. (I didn’t realize this until leaving central PA.) You can’t judge Hershey’s until you’ve purchased and eaten a chocolate bar in Hershey PA.
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(2,200 hours into Feudal Peasant Simulator) ooooh a feast day!
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i invented leaving a groupchat without saying anything but didn't copyright it
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whenever i hear Sublime i think about all the bad ska music heroin saved us from
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can i get a Schnauzer pic with the collar on and one with the collar off? can i also get 3 pics of different breeds of your choosing. also can i get a normal picture of a Pug from the front and one where it's mouth is spread open a little bit. can i get a
I need an artist who can draw like a couple dozen dogs of different breeds in profile and have it be cute...suggestions?
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gen_westmoreland: we have to hit the Viet Dong hard and hit em fast
myass2kissinger: Viet Dong
big_mack_namara: Viet Dong
ARVNLoan69: Viet Dong
Ho_Chi_Big_Naturals: lol wrong chat
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it's so expensive for the service pigs to deliver me my slop bowl 😔
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2020, derogatory: kids in cages
2024, supportive: kids in cages
Kamala Harris: "As President, I'll bring back that border security bill that trump killed and sign it into law, and show Donald trump what REAL leadership looks like!"
BOOM!
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can't wait until we see a headline like "JD Vance Chaturbate Logs Leaked"
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posting "Hillary was brat" before leaning back in my worn out sectional. the divorce papers sit unsigned on a rickety folding tv tray at the edge of my vision
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it's cool that the dominant form of liberalism in the country is uninformed credentialism
@yashar
Walz graduated "Chadron State College" & "Minn State U, Mankato", has no law degree, never passed the bar, and was a substitute teacher before politics. Shapiro attended U of Rochester, earned his law degree from Georgetown, passed the bar and went straight into government.
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if we can get weird extended all the way to dudes who work office jobs but drive an f150 i can die happy
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as far as family planning goes, JD Vance is an outspoken champion of the pullout method.
His wife sleeps upstairs in their bed, and he sleeps with a pullout couch in the office
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you don't hear much great music from the Dutch because their souls lack poetry
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my first introduction to maryland driving i was going 79mph on the interstate and a fucking grandma blasted by me in a nissan altima flicking me off out the window
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im going to kill myself
VP Harris’s fundraising is bussin fr. she understands the assignment—she’ll protect fundamental freedoms and defend democracy. no cap. donate below to maximize our joint slay:
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if you hide from and ignore bad things for long enough they stop existing
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the jim cramer of politics has spoken
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oh you don't like cats? what's it like being a piece of shit?
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trump got the adult men still riding razor scooters LOCKED DOWN
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it's nice to see people on twitter still fall for low effort bait
I went full alpha male mode today putting up a fence so peaches couldn't escape
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me and my buddies taking turns squirting whiskey shits down the zuckerberg bunker ventilation shaft
The ultra-rich are preparing for the Big One
Fortified bunkers and tactical vehicles
Zuckerberg is building a $100-million compound in Hawaii that includes a 5,000 square foot bunker with concrete walls and an escape hatch
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just assuming everyone i can't find on here anymore is dead
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