Mike Boobberg
@boobbergLP
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come for da finance stay for da bafoonery
Joined February 2020
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Bartender: sorry buddy you’re cut off
the b*mb strapped to my chest:
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Sometimes i forget why im throwing away my 20s at work but then i remind myself in 10 years i get a wife that tells her pilates instructor how much she hates me and 3 kids for whom i will have to find jobs when they're 22 and out of amherst with no working experience
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You either die a neph or live long enough to see yourself become unc
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most financially independent SEC burner
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What’s my “retirement plan” ? brother i’m gonna be barbacking in Key West and living in a shack with 4 other dudes
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credit guy has “Investopedia: What Is EBIT” pulled up rn man we’re so fucked
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Average Northwestern Mutual Financial Professional after selling their grandmother an annuity
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< 2 semesters into an MBA and i am already only following through on this because i told too many people i was doing it
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@ChrisGotClapped
@icedoutomnitrix
i’m already moved my mom and dad haven’t been in the same room in 15 years
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Anyone have good recs for a drink with:
-8% ABV
-200mg caffeine
-9mg nicotine
-electrolytes or some shit
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“This is Providence, not in SEC”
my reaction to this information:
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Is this portfolio manager at one of the largest hedge funds in the world in the room with us right now?
Portfolio manager at one of the largest hedge funds in the world, and he specializes in real estate:
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hey I saw the queen just passed. got me thinking about how I never treated you like the queen you are and time just passed. idk. hope you’re well.
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The finances:
BREAKING:
#Binance
reportedly unlikely to move forward with FTX acquisition following review of finances, CoinDesk reports.
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Death, taxes, and ONE (1) of these mfs making its way into the cap table screenshot in vFinalFinal materials, no matter how many times you check
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Investopedia has taught me more than the US public education system ever could
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@FloatnGoats
@KirsinMusic
i’m all for “fuck economic theory people needed help” but this is a dumb take the dollar is worth 6% less than it was 18 months ago
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forgot to leave cannoli out for C*lumbus last night🤦♂️ he took my fucking catalytic converter
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Man why am I combing over EBITDA add-backs rn. Like what even is all this. It's all made up. None of this is real. $2.8mm for consulting costs? That occur every quarter? Consistently? That's an add-back?
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dangerously locked in today. might just do my job with the baseline level of urgency i'm being paid for anyway
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ex-GS guys when the call is 3 minutes along and they haven't said the line yet
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Mfs send Colgate $82k/yr for their kids but I get it for $7.99 at CVS
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Analysts born after 1994 dont know how to think critically. all they know is index(match), center logo, charge phone, and lie
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ME: Can we talk about some of these add-backs? I’m not sure excess freight shou–
BANKERS:
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Turning off a podcast on mindfulness and compassion as I walk into a dimly lit office full of people who don’t care if I live or die perpetuating the accumulation of capital among the wealthy kinda fees like brushing your teeth and facing a gallon of oj
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@nerdcircus_
PV: -70,000
I/Y: 14/12
N: 360
FV: 0
great job fellas let’s go home to our ugly wives
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“No updates from me, thanks … nothing on my end … no updates, thanks … no updates from me … nothing to report…”
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“Passion for capital markets” is just white guy slang for “low self-esteem”
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I am excited to announce that I will be starting my own fund. Our singular strategy will be buying Taylor Swift presale tickets and providing liquidity to the secondary market.
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Me and this CFO on a zoom call for financials, finding out neither side executed an NDA
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Caulk job I did for a lazy tenant despite them being late on rent twice in a row. thankless fucking job ..
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How is my manager going to look me in the face and say student loan repayment resumption won’t impact consumer spending like are you missing part of your brain
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@FloatnGoats
@KirsinMusic
“inflation isn’t real and neither is money”
*quotes short term moves in the dxy to support argument*
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I wrote $10 million as $10M and my VP took me out back and shot me in the leg with one of these
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Haven’t been on fintwit yet today, was getting my hair cut👍 how’s it look fellas?
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pamplemousse a goofy name for a flavor but these lil freaks lowkey slap
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Told my director to "let me cook" and now the whole office (Gen X'ers) won't stop saying it
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lmao @ all the dudes in the replies thinking they're gonna be able to follow a guy with a million legs
Natalie Portman has officially ended things with her now-ex husband, Benjamin Millepied.
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Turns out smoking weed over a span of multiple years really does make you dumber! who knew !
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mom can you come pick me up they're making me model equity cash flows
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Gonna get crucified for this, but I've never met anyone in real estate that is as dissatisfied with their job as the happiest person I've ever met in asset management/banking. Real estate dorks can be annoying, but autism be damned they're happy and make some okay money
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It’s kinda wild in this practice that so many defined terms (leverage, working capital, EBITDA, etc) could mean literally anything. My friends in healthcare don’t have to ask each other to “walk through” how they got to a blood pressure reading
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I told my 3-year-old that Tiger made the cut, and he said with tears in his eyes “It truly is an inspiration to see the resilience of that man’s soul and the passion he shows for the game of golf. I am truly moved, and we are blessed on this day by our usually spiteful God.”
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Hi, thanks for taking my question. Great detail on the call today, thanks for taking the time. Most of my questions have been answered but I think I could use some more color on something that was touched on earlier. If I could piggyback off the example that came from slide 4,,
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Her: i’m coming over, you better not be living rent free in a bunch of dorks’ heads
me asf:
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[guy who wants to work the movie he just watched into conversation]: oh so kinda like a stuart little situation
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Too much of a goddamn chiller for credit. Too mentally adept (>80 IQ) for CRE
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can i get a copy of the deck as a .ppt and one as a .pdf? can i also get it in 4:3 and another in 16:9? also can I get just a normal copy and three with different client watermarks? and can i g
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how do i ask my boss to put “Sr.” in front of my title to help w the job search
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god I can’t wait to get back in there and create some more shareholder value tomorrow
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applied to a dozen jobs today ,,, first rejection email already hit the inbox✅🎉🤑
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Consumer is so funny, man. “We are regaining some of the 12oz shelf space we lost in Q2” bro you’re fighting for your life against Great Value😭😭
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