slommy sammich
@blindedjanus
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Pinned Tweet
sorry for all the bi posting lately my parents divorced when I was very young
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being bisexual is so hard because sometimes I’m vibing with a girl then I start queening out but it turns out she was flirting and now I just look like a fag
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what’s it called when you’re a top with this mindset
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a beautiful chubby man somewhere just started ozempic
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WARNING TO BEARS: if you date a jock he WILL make you engage in his hobbies and you WILL be sweaty the entire time
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the sluttiest thing a chubby guy can do is wear a shirt thats just a lil too small
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oh the gym gays with 6 packs did NOT like my last tweet
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if I met a man that called this a beer belly me and my fat friends would beat him to death with hammers I’ll tell you that
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taking pics before an interview to remind myself how cute and charming I am
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love the phrase ‘bear in mind’ so much— like um yes always actually
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quick nap before attending the worlds sleepiest boy award ceremony
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new favorite cap got here just in time for Latin night
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I’m like if Peter Parker was one of those bisexuals that mostly fucks men
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I was feeling bad about my job search but then I read an article that said the job market is especially difficult for hot popular boys with big asses
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if I was on twitter in a fantasy world my likes would expose me for fetishizing dwarves and I would get cancelled
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Ye Wenjie contacting the aliens after being betrayed by everyone she ever trusted
#3BodyProblem
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me with my semi after straight up jorking it
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one benefit of being this sweaty is no one can tell I’m crying to So I
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felt too accurate to not post :P
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when I first came to terms with my sexuality in college I thought I was almost exclusively attracted to Indian men but it turns out I’m just almost exclusively into really hairy men
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how many times do I have to bench press to get bigger biceps
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me and my flag :3
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team “Azula Mommy Issues” was robbed of best name at Avatar trivia night </3
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went hiking and sweated a lot but also saw a few snakes which was cool
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im probably nonbinary but im looking for jobs so idrc about that rn
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pov I just woke up from a 7 hour nap and my hair looked kinda cute and made me want to use pov in a caption
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to all the pretty girls liking my tweets i look like this btw
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wouldn’t have been a sweaty walk to work if I didn’t take a selfie to commemorate
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the most precious lil sweetie pie you know doesn’t have a drivers license btw
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since I keep getting bullied for being a 25yo bisexual I’ve decided I’m officially too old for all that and will be picking a side—stay tuned
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gg ez
at a Hot Ones party right now with the boyfriend lmao they just did the bomb
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either need forehead kisses or a lobotomy idc which one
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he thought the view was pretty but I thought I was prettier
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outfit sneak peak 👁️〰️👁️
if miss Chappell Roan wants me to dress like a kinky spiteful lil demon I WILL be obliging…. I’ve got two weeks to plan the fit
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I can kinda understand chappell struggling with her rapid rise to fame cuz I went from 70 followers to 1k in like two weeks… yeah it’s very similar actually
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girl who thinks boy who loves
she is hard her like it’s
to love breathing
girl who thinks boy who loves
she is hard her like it’s
to love breathing
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in honor of pride coming up here’s how I think Laios would come out
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in gay city, if you can’t mother cuntify a woman, she gets jumped
gay men dont fuck with chappell roan because they cant mother cuntify her the way they did with gaga so now the trailer park girl who has been releasing music since 2017 with no success & dropped by her label & had to work as a barista/nanny in the meantime is an industry plant
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I dont care if “hey handsome” is overused!! It makes me hard !!!
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to avoid hotd spoilers on his own tl he’s resorted to just watching my screen while I scroll
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korra if she wasnt too busy being bisexual to learn air bending
If you run into her in the forest, I pity the man AND the bear.
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I wanna take more cute pics in speedos and undies but I’m a grower 💔💔💔
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being a bear without chest hair is a disease……. a disease that I have
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how I act when my boyfriend is walking around in his undies
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a friend (not me) is looking for advice on stealing their neighbors neglected “outdoor” cat (pic unrelated)
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can I say something
Coconut the albino gator loves her back scratches 😅🤩
For those wondering this what a happy gator looks like🙌
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my pics are always from the chest up so you can’t see how bad I am at matching clothes
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I had just started on my path towards being a grad school dropout ♥️
but nah fr, go to ur photos and see what u were up to september 2022
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inside every bisexual man is a sensitive babygirl and a depraved whore
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fantasy dwarves are so hot I wish short beefy hairy men were real 💔
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the sex appeal of speedos is propaganda by Big Shower and is a systemic injustice to the grower community
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HAPPY PRIDE don’t forget about the allies this month!!!!
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I don’t struggle with internalized homophobia it’s very external I can’t stand a lot of you fsggots oh my god
Me when I see a group of insanely hot straight guys walking toward me
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alright to be clear: as annoying as it is when gays do stuff like this is, this tweet is a JOKE
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SOMEBODY SEDATE ME
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oh I just know she would eat up a misa amane look
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I wanted attention and in a moment of weakness I posted discourse bait
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roommate is taller than me and I just found out she hides things on the top shelves when she doesn’t want me to use them
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qrt: you and your favorite Pokemon except I havent ever played
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the endoplasmic reticulum when it sees a protein at risk of misfolding:
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