anushka sharma
@bindas_chori
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Following
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8
Statuses
965
hi...i m hot...sexy...amazing girl frm ghaziabad.....tweet padho.....jannat dikhaungi...come on follow me...
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Teacher:Chut lene mein zada maza h Ya Gand me..Student:- Chut mare chutyia.. Gand mare Gandu..
Sab se badhiya mutthi..
2minute me chutthi.
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INDIAN : MUNNI hamaari BADNAAM hai SHEILA hamaari jawaan hai JITNE runs sachin ke hai utna SQUARE FEET tumhaara pakistaan hai ...!!!
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Santa looking at name plate of air hostess above her left boob... KOMAL !
With lots of confusion He asked:
"Doosra waala KADAK hai kya"....?
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1 aadmi Dinner Ke Vakt Apne bete Se Gusse Me Bola: Gadhe,
KARELA Kha, LAMBA Hoga.
Kitchen Se Sharmate Hue WIFE Boli:
AAP Bhi Khaiye Na .
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Patient-Dr. muze kuch nhi dikhta.Dr(Doctor ne nurse ko nanga kiya) Ab kuch dikh rha hai? Patient-Nahi.Dr.-MADARCHOD fir LUND kaisekhadahua.
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9
19
A bank wanted to use Sunny Leone's legs as the logo for its ATM.
Do U know why?
Bank Just wanted
to advertise that
they are open 24 hrs
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20
Q: What is the similarity between Aadmi & Bandar?
A: Bandar DAL par uchalta hai,
Aur Aadmi DAL kar uchalta hai!
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Hoarding in a LINGERIE shop.We sale BRA & PANTIES in following sizes,
Ohhhh,
Aaaahha,
Wow,
Baap re Baap,
nw ALSO in,
Uski ma ka
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13
Army; Ka Jawan Apni SuhaG_Raat Me Muth Marne Laga.
BV; Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho
Jawan Humle Se Pehle Hawa Me Firering Karna Humara Style Hai...,
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Mazza aaye toh Kiss deni chahiye , Taaliyaan toh chakke
bhi marte hai .
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Nothing is better than a little bit of late night dirty talk.
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Ultimate Accident
Doctar:Lips Kaise Fate?
Ladki:Kiss Kar Rahi Thi Ki Kisi Ne Darwaza Knock Kiya Or Us Kamine Ne Ghabra K
.
Zip Band Kar Li.
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Similarity between a man and a dog- Both of them pee anywhere they want :p
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Chodne me Feelings Honi Chahiye.....
.
Pani toh Nal Sey Bhi Tapakta Hey.....
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Chut Ki Awaj Ko Chamatkar Kete H.LATKI Chuchiyo Ko Bekar Kete H.Sirf Chodne Ka Nam Mohabat Nhi.Kisi Ki Yadon Me Muth Marne Ko B Pyar kete he
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Patiala 2 chize famous hai
1st patiala peg
2nd patiala salwar
Dono me fark sirf itna hai 1 chadhne par maza deti hai to doosri utarne par
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Ladki ka DIL saaf hona chahiye JHAANTE toh ladke bhi saaf rakhte hai ;)
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2
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Pussy Shaved Honi Chahiye.....
.
Hairy Toh Potter Bhi Hai.....
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Swamiji :Batao.,Jo Log Galat Kaam Karte Hai Wo Log Kaha Jaate Hai.? Ladki (Sharmate Huye) : Shaher Ke Log Hotel Me Aur Gaon Ke Log Khet Me..
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Chatri repairwala ladki se
Uper ka kapda nikalna padega
aur niche danda dalna padega
Ladki: Jo karna hhi karo,pani ander nahi girna chahiye
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Wakeel : Jab Mulzim Ney Tum Par Qaatilana Hamla Kiya,
Uss Waqt Tum Ney Kiya Cheez Uthai Hoi Thi ?
Aadmi : Uss Ki BV Ki Taangein…
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Suhagrat pe pati biwi pe chadha to biwi hasne lag gayi.
Pati-tum has kyun rhi
ho?
Biwi-vo pankhe mein
aapki gaand dikh rahi hai :P
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Ladki k Baap Ney Vidai K Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha “Beta hamari Izzat Ab
Tumhare Haath Mein Hai.Dulha Bola:”Chinta Mat Kijiye Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!”
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Ladki Mile to Kiss Karni Chahiye.....
.
Hug to Log Sandaas Me Bhi Dete Hain.....
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Woh kaunsi Situation Hai,
Jisme mard 15 minute me thak jata hai,
Aur aurat chahti hai ki wo karta rahe?
?
?
?
?
SHOPPING..
Soch Badlo
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'Tum mujhe khoon do mai tumhe azadi dunga' - Subhas Chandra Bose ?
"Tum mujhe rose do main tumhe roz dungi" - Sunny Leone
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SANTA'S Uncle Fell From Stairs At NIGHT And DIED..SANTA Sends SMS To All :"TAUJI EXPIRED DUE TO NIGHT FALL.."
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Lund me Stamina Hona Chaiye....
.
Khada toh Nagar Sevak Bhi Hota Hai.....
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5 ladke 1 ladki ko jabardasti kiss kar rahe the ladki chilla rahi thi,
kutto
kamino
beshrmo
haramjado
.
.
lado mat sabki bari aayegi!
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Women are like algebra equations. What ever you do to one side, you have to do to the other.
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Real Fact:
Ek Sacha Chahne Wala ApSe Hr Trh Ki Baat Krta H,...
Har Topic Pr Baat Krta hai
Mgr Dhoka Dene Wala Sirf Mohbbat Ki Bat Krta hai.
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Police Ko Sirf Khane Ka Kaam Karna Chahiye.....
.
Protection toh Condom Bhi Deta Hai.....
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Wat sex can do? It gives some people their first musical lesson: mmmm...aaaahh...ooooh...aaahhh
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Hey ladies,wen a guy sees ur cleavage,he feels exactly the same like u do
when u see the "SALE!"banner outside ur favourite shop...
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Delivery K Bad Bachche KiMutthi Band Thi
Muthi Khol K Dekha Gaya To Usme
Ipill Ka Tablet Tha
Hath Me Likha
Jinko Rakhe Saiya Mar Sake Na Koy
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A hair cutting saloon shifted from ground floor to 1st floor
A board was put by him 'Neeche ke bal katane ki dukan upar hai
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#SexFact
: अच्छे तरीके से नियमित रुप से आधे घंटे तक किए गए सेक्स से 150 कैलोरी बर्न की जा सकती है।आप एक साल में दो किलो वजन कम कर सकते हैं
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Teacher To Santa-Isko Hindi me translate kro."She is kidding"Santa hasne lga or table pr hi
gir gya or bola.itna asan
WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI
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नर्सरी की मैडम के ब्लाउस के 2 बटन खुले थे जिनको देख के 2 बचे हंसने लगे!
मैडम: हँसना बंद करते हो या निकालूँ दोनों को बाहर?
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Besharmi ki Hadd
Ab Mobile walo ko hi dekh lo
1 bade se poster pr ladki ko chipkakar niche likh diya.
Ab 38 rupees me puri raat free
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Jaise phooli hui roti kabhi kachchi nahi hoti,Waise hi bra pehni hui ladki kabhi bachchi nahi hoti;)
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School Girl: "I do not want to take the SEX Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Girl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be just Oral."
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Reliance Ka Palang
“BSNL” Ka Gaddha,
“Airtel” Ki Takiya,
“TATA” Ki Rajaai,
Uske Andar
Virgin Aur Phir
Hutch-Hutch
What An Idea
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A man had sex with a village girl with no condom
Girl:Hope you don't have HIV/AIDS
Man,NO
Girl Thank God,i don't want to get dat thing again
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Wedding night
Pati Ander Aaya Aur Pucha: “Kya Hua Bed ke niche Kyun Leti Ho?
Dulhan Darte Hue Boli: “Mujhe Laga Police Ki Raid Pad Gayi“
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Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE
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Wife to husband: ek Sand saalme 300 bar sex karta hai
Tum iska adha bhi nahi krte.
Pati:kaha likha hai ke
wo 300 bar ek hi cow ke sath karta
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Customer:but how can this tiny little hand bag cost so much?
Cashier: It?s made of foreskin madam, when u lick it, it becomes a suit case!
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Ladka:Ladkiyon Ko 12 Saal Ki Umar Mein Bachcha Hota Hai?
Aunty:Nahi
Ladka:Apni Beti Ko Samjhao Na, Faltu Mein Condom Ka Kharcha Karwati
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Larki.After sex to boyfriend kash mere b"LUN"hota
Boy.kya hua
Larki.Hsrat se boli
Kuch Nhi bs tum ko Chod k btati k Chodte kese h
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Dost: “Kaisa Rahi Suhag Raath
Ladka : “Yaaro, Kabhi Apne Relatives Mein Shadi Mat Karna, Zara Sa Zor Lagaya To Boli Aamir Bhai Aaram Se“
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पंडित का पाँव जल गया, डॉ ने बरनाल और विआग्रा लिख के दी!
पंडित: बरनाल तो ठीक है यह विआग्रा क्यों?
डॉ: इस से धोती ऊंची रहेगी!
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Ladki: “Kya Tumhara Pati Sote Waqt Kharate Leta Hai
Saheli : “Pata Nahi Abhi To Hamari Shaadi Ko 3 Din Hi Hue Hai, Soyenge To Pata Chalega“
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Old man married a young girl.On d weddin night he Showed 5 fingrs to wife.Girl:5 times?Man:No dear, whch 1u prefer to start wit
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Study: Average penis size is 10% smaller than 50 years ago. Now I know why my grandma always talks about the "good old days."
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इश्क़ का ज़ौक़ ए नज़ारा मुफ़्त में बदनाम है
हुस्न ख़ुद बेताब है जलवे दिखाने के लिए
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On wedding night : Dulha: “Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi?”
Dulhan: “Nahi Jaanu, Kabhi Kiya Nahi, Bas Hamesha Karwaya Hai“
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ATM & ITEM.? -
Andar Dalke Rupaya Nikla to ATM,
Rupya Dekar Andar Dala to ITEM.
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Teacher:Naam Kya Hai
Ladki: Pinki
Teacher: Aage Ya Piche Kuch Lagati Ho?
Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Ji Aage Veet Cream Aur Piche Sarson Ka Tel“
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Teacher Pappu Se: “Tumhare Ghar Mein Sabse Chhota Kaun Hai?”
Pappu: Kaamwali ,Iss Liye Ki Har Baar Wo Apni Chaddi Papa Se Hi Utarwati Hai“
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AAJ KA UTTAM SUVICHAAR: Shaadi karna utna hi aasan hai jitna ki SUSU KARNA.! Aur nibhana utna hi mushkil jitna use ROK KE RAKHNA
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Soch Seedhi Honi Chaiye.....
.
Tedha Toh tumara Lund Bhi Hai.....
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Periods are ridiculous!! Girls shouldn't be punished for not being pregnant
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Patni roz subah Pati K pair Chhuti h or Pati raat ko uske dono pair apne Kandhe par Le Leta h. MORAL-SaMMaan Dene se hi SaMMaan Milta ha!
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छोटू: तुम नहाती नहीं हो क्या?
मीना आश्चर्य से: मैं तो रोज नहाती हूँ, तुमने ऐसा क्यों पूछा?
छोटू: कभी देखा नहीं ना, इसलिए ;)
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Policeman:
sab sach bata varna chaddi uttar k marunga.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pappu: saab galti Maine ki hai aap kyun chaddi uttaro gey
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A husband was stung by a bee on his penis,it became swollen
His wife prayed,Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is
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Ye isaq nahi aasan, bass itna samjh lijiye.......Bansh ka danda h aur pura ander jana h.
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Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye.
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke
Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?
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Old version :
Abe yar jaldi gar chal papa datenge late gaya to :p
..
New version :
Abe chodu jaldi gar chal warna baap g**nd mardega :P
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Newly wed girl: My husband is a virgin.
Mom: How do you know dear?
Girl: Last night,when we made love, his cock was still in plastic
cover.
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Aaj ghar pe koi nai hai...kapde pahanne ki jaroorat hi nai hai...
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Mother givs her Daughtr Pack of condms b4 a date
Grl Hugs her mother &
Says Yehi soch to badalni h maa
I'm Dating Julie, Give me Mulie!"
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Vari varsi khatan gyasi,
khat k layanda Bhutta,
tusi raat nu sotte reh gaye,
twadi
CHUMMI le gaya KUTTA!
('.')> bolo
<O" tara ra
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You don't really need some one to complete you: u just need someone to accept u completely..... That's the beauty of a relation.
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Ladki:Honeymoon k liye kahan kahan Gayi
Saheli: Shimla, Kasauli, Mussoorie
Ladki: Achhaakya kya dekha Wahan?
Saheli: Sirf CEILING FAN!
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पति: दशरथ की 3 रानी थी, में 2 शादी और कर सकता हूँ!
पत्नी: द्रौपदी का नाम तो सुना ही होगा आपने?
पति: तू तो मजाक भी नहीं समझती
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