ALSO: Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes and George Washington is Cash Money are coming out as audiobooks, read by me!

New Post: Getting Owned by America’s Frenemy

Hey I'm finally doing the thing everyone else is doing.

RT @PantheonBooks: Looking for an unmissable fiction stack? 📚✨ The gripping TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE by @bettermyths (3/4), the eerie THE DREAM…

RT @PantheonBooks: TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE by @bettermyths takes you to a near-future, where retired combat-drone vet Orr Vue dives back into…

New Post: Shit has been unreal lately

New Post: “Real” “Self” “Defense”

@PantheonBooks HEY THIS IS MY BOOK

New Post: Chill Hangs with Violent Men

Update: Seems like whoever stole my account flew too close to the sun and got the account disabled, so I was able to get it back. I think we can all learn a valuable lesson here, but I need someone to tell me what it is.

Lol it turns out the person who replied to this tweet was a sock puppet trying to direct me to a shady instagram "cybersecurity expert" so that was a cool additional thing to deal with

@_themayorsgirl_ They told me they couldn't do anything, and I should file a complaint with the FBI 🤷‍♂️

New Post: Chasing the High Score

@hotdogfuneral I think so. That was so sick

@hotdogfuneral I watched the finals a few days late but man, game one was TIGHT

@hotdogfuneral I got into bingo brawlers because of your tweets and I do NOT regret it

New Post: How to Write a First Draft that’s Bad and Sucks Ass

New Post: “Show, Don’t Tell?” more like “Go, To Hell” send tweet

RT @rebexxxxa: I wrote about the soul-sucking labor of self-promotion and "audience building" that basically every artist/journalist/creati…

New Post: Suck My Nuts, Joseph Campbell